Nicknames and Rumors
by suitablyironicmoniker
Summary: Small towns are notorious for their gossip & while Bella does her best to ignore it, it doesn't take long before she's the subject...AH/AU Canon couples.
1. First Day

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters and concepts of the _Twilight _series. They are the sole creation and property of Stephenie Meyer.

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**One**

This kind of reaction could only happen in a small town. The turning and craning heads, the stares, the speculative whispering though I hadn't yet left the cab of the truck and couldn't possibly hear--none of it would have happened in a big city. I tucked my chin as I gazed across the lot, appalled and resigned at the same time to being the object of interest. The day hadn't even started.

Sighing, I pulled the hood of my rain coat over my hair, sliding from the cab and crossing the lot towards the campus. My eyes were trained on the duck shoes on my feet, one of the many items purchased in the weeks leading up to the move, a necessity here on the Olympic peninsula. I didn't want to see the crowd part as I approached the building and tried to block the intensifying whispers as I came to the front steps. Pushing into the main office, I forced a smile to my face as the secretary greeted me.

"Isabella Swan!" The woman behind the counter clearly knew me though I could be pretty sure I'd never met her in my life.

"Bella," I corrected automatically.

"We've been so excited for your first day!"

"I bet." My frustration with that fact was lost on the secretary, who personified the word 'bustle' as she gathered my schedule and a map of the campus. Handing me the papers, she nearly glowed as she wished me a great first day. "Sure," I replied, not wanting to burst her bubble.

The Forks High student body was roughly the same size as the graduating class at my last school. That meant a new student, even one who'd spent summers in Forks and really shouldn't have been such a novelty, was like an urban legend come true. Somewhere between the math teacher getting dosed with acid and the cheerleader having her stomach pumped for reasons I'd rather not know about, it'd get endlessly discussed until the next big thing came along. Being that this was Forks, the next big thing probably wouldn't happen for a year and a half.

I knew it was partly my fault. If I wasn't such a recluse when I visited my dad in the summers, some of these faces might be familiar and I might not seem like such a freak to be gawked at. I kept my head deep in my hood as I found my first class, making my way to the back of the room and trying to ignore the sudden hush that greeted my arrival. I shook my hood from my hair only when the teacher started talking, glad all eyes were trained on the front when I looked up.

"Ms. Swan! Welcome to Forks High!" Clearly, the Spanish teacher was not aware of my plan to remain anonymous. I wondered if I would have scared her by approaching her before class and suggesting she act like I wasn't there. I guess that would have been taking it too far...

"Thanks." I hoped my smile didn't look forced.

"Would you like to tell us where you came from?" The eyes behind her glasses were expectant. I briefly thought about saying I'd come from the future, or from Hogwarts, or that I was really a mermaid who'd come to the wettest place on land I could find.

I finally said, "I lived in Phoenix." The Spanish teacher continued to look expectant but I couldn't think of anything else to say and ducked my head, feeling the blood surge to my cheeks as the silence awkwardly lapsed. Belatedly realizing she couldn't out-silence me, the Spanish teacher finally started the lesson. I exhaled in relief. I was the queen of awkward silences and no one was going to take my crown.

When the bell rang, I gathered my messenger bag and trailed after the students leaving the class room. I glanced at my schedule and the map, the pages already wrinkled with damp, when I was startled from my thoughts by an eager voice. "You're from Phoenix, right?"

"Uh, yeah." I vaguely recognized the girl with a riot of curly hair from Spanish.

"I'm Jessica." She held out her hand and I shook it, smiling. "Which class are you headed to now?"

"Math, I think..." She peeked at the papers in my hands and confirmed it.

"I can walk you there! I have history and it's on the way!" She seemed friendly if a little overwhelming with her energy level. Luckily, she filled the short walk to the next class with a blur of chatter that I felt like I should pay attention to. There was no way I was going to fly under the radar at this place and given the number of people Jessica was waving to as we walked along, she seemed like the person to help me figure things out.

She apparently had the same idea, grabbing me after math got out and walking me to my next class. Her hands gestured wildly as she pointed at the out buildings, the picnic tables behind the campus where people had lunch on rare nice days, and the giant boulders not far from there that marked the border between school and public property; this was where some students could be found smoking during lunch. "You don't smoke, do you?" she asked, her snub nose wrinkling.

"Oh, no," I replied, confused. Did I look like someone who smoked? I licked my teeth behind my lips, wondering if they were yellow.

Not noticing my momentary insecurity, Jessica exclaimed, "I'll grab you for lunch! You can sit with us and meet the whole gang!"

I had flashes of the gangs that had gone to my last school, colored bandanas hanging from their back pockets, and stifled a laugh. There was no way that's what she meant. I later felt a brief surge of doubt as the halls flooded with students, all streaming towards the cafeteria. I tried to remember my dad mentioning any drive by shootings and shook my head, knowing no such thing had happened in Forks. Jessica grabbed my arm just as I made it to the double doors. "I'm so excited!" she squealed. I tried to smile at her enthusiasm.

The cafeteria seemed small compared to the giant dining hall I was used to. Fluorescent lights did little to dispel the gray gloom beyond the windows, the perpetual drizzle on the roof drowned out by the shouting, flurried conversation, and sound of clattering silverware inside. I barely looked at the food I piled on my tray, following Jessica's weaving figure through the tables to the center of the room. "Hey guys!" she nearly cheered. I was starting to feel like something she'd caught, brought back as some kind of drooled-on trophy. I blushed, realizing I was unfairly thinking of her as a retriever. "This is Bella Swan," Jessica grinned at me. "The new student," she added needlessly.

There was a rattle of names, the six faces around the table all friendly and eager as I sank into my seat and tried to will the blood from my cheeks. "So how do you like Forks?" The guy on my left, blond with bright blue eyes, smiled welcomingly.

"Oh, I used to come here summers," I avoided answering his question, not wanting to be rude.

"Right, you're Chief Swan's daughter."

"Right." Charlie Swan, unlike his ex-wife, had never wanted to leave his home town.

"Why haven't we seen you before then?" the blond guy asked. I thought his name was Mike but I wasn't sure.

"I was probably trapped on a boat watching my dad gut fish the whole time," I explained.

"Oh, gross!" A thin girl at the end of the table tossed aside her sandwich with disgust at my words. I felt my cheeks flame again but ignored her.

"That might be worse than having to work!" Mike laughed. I laughed with him, relieved.

"Or babysit your little brothers," the dark haired girl across the table sighed. Her eyes were partly concealed by glasses, her face softened by a smile.

"Oh my God, tell me about it." Jessica, on my right, launched into a diatribe about her little sister. I was able to eat as she went on, my eyes drifting around the room. The underclassmen clustered near the entrance doors, clearly terrified as they wolfed down their food. I gave thanks that even though I had to start at a new school, at least I was a senior and would have only one year as a transfer. In the opposite corner, near the emergency exit, a group of five students at one table caught my eye.

"Who are they?" I couldn't help asking.

Maybe-Mike's eyes followed my gaze, flickering over the table in the corner before turning back to me with a wry grin. "That's the Cullens and the Hales."

Jessica stilled, somehow hearing Maybe-Mike over her own voice. She leaned forward to get my attention, her brown eyes wide. "The rich kids," she hissed. I hid a smile, thinking of the luxury cars that had dotted the parking lot at my old school. There had been entire competing cliques in Phoenix--though they might as well have been on Mars for how little their world touched mine. It was strange to think that world was now limited to these five students. I glanced back at the table. The two dark haired boys looked as if they were arguing, one slender with wild hair, his features intent, the other bulky like a football player, his dimples flashing as he listened, occasionally rolling his eyes. "Dr. Cullen is the chief of surgery at the hospital. He's like, super hot--"

"Isn't he kind of--old?" I asked, turning back to Jessica with a frown. To have teenagers, he couldn't be younger than forty. Maybe Jessica had a thing for older guys--but old enough to be her dad?

"No, they're all adopted," Maybe-Mike explained, rolling his eyes at Jessica. "Emmett, Alice and Edward. They moved here from Seattle four years ago."

Despite my attempts not to convey my disappointment with Forks, my surprised expression gave me away. Why would anyone voluntarily move here? "The boys got expelled from, like, every school there," Jessica explained in a hushed voice.

"They're weird," Maybe-Mike added in an uncomfortable voice. I turned back to the table where the slender boy was now flinging his half-eaten apple away, his expression annoyed. The blonde across the table from him thrust her middle finger in his direction as the apple narrowly missed her own plate of food. Her anger couldn't conceal the beauty of her features, full lips, wide eyes fringed in thick lashes, rounded cheekbones, and the kind of nose I imagined plastic surgeons got a lot of requests for. "The blonds are Rosalie and Jasper, the Hales. Their dad is a lawyer." I imagined he was the only lawyer for miles and reminded myself to ask my dad about them later.

"And they're all together!" Jessica hissed. She was nearly in my lap, leaning so far forward in her excitement that I realized I'd nearly scooted into Maybe-Mike on the bench.

"What do you mean 'together'?" I asked. There were five of them, how could that possibly work? Did they switch off? Was it some kind of commune or sect where everyone shared? I'm sure I looked slightly appalled, trying not to feel grossed out.

"Emmett and Rosalie, Jasper and Alice!" Jessica answered. "I've heard they even get to stay the night!" I felt my face relax. That wasn't as bad as taking turns. I really needed to stop reading about cults.

"That's just a rumor, Jess. You don't know if that's true," Maybe-Mike's voice was exasperated. "Though with the other stuff I've heard," he muttered as an afterthought.

I didn't get to ask him what that meant and wasn't sure I was interested. The bell rang and I sprang from my seat, relieved that lunch had actually been kind of pleasant. I was used to eating by myself, headphones blaring as I read a book, but Jessica and Maybe-Mike seemed nice--as did the dark-haired girl. She caught up to me as I reached the double doors of the cafeteria, her slight hand on my arm. "Jessica said you have A.P. English next," she explained. I nodded. "I'm headed that way. I'm Angela, by the way." I flushed, relieved she'd introduced herself again but apologetic that it was necessary. "It's okay. Jessica talks fast sometimes, and I wouldn't expect you to remember so many names on your first day."

"I'm terrible with names anyway. I think it's some kind of short term memory brain damage."

"It's probably the same part of the brain where calculus is understood," Angela said wryly.

"And where birth dates go to die," I added.

We were laughing when we walked into the class. I was surprised to see a nearly empty room, hesitating as I approached a desk. "There are only ten students in the advanced placement class," Angela explained at my confusion. "Last year there weren't enough people who scored high enough to justify it. Anyways, you should sit towards the front--Miss Bloch insists on it." I nodded, taking a seat.

I felt a mixture of dread and anticipation. Most of my classes so far that day had covered a lot of material I'd already studied at my last school. It would be nice to actually have a class that was challenging, especially in my favorite subject. But with such a small class size, there would be no opportunity to fade into the background. I kept my eyes trained on my notebook, doodling in the margin while the rest of the students trickled in. I didn't even look up when someone paused next to my desk and then sank into the seat on my right.

"Welcome back, class!" Miss Bloch's voice was warm. I hoped she wouldn't make me introduce myself. "It looks like we have a new student. Miss Swan, do you want to come to the front and say a few words?" My doodling pen froze.

Crap. No such luck.

My cheeks were immediately afire. I gripped the edge of my desk impulsively, then forced my hands to relax, knowing it would be childish and stupid to refuse. I slowly rose, glancing at Miss Bloch as I crossed the few feet to the front of the room. I turned around quickly and felt the words die on my lips, my brain abruptly empty.

Rosalie Hale sat nearest the door, her beautiful features vaguely annoyed as she twirled a long blond tendril around her pencil. Her brother sat at her side, his face turned to his left, where Alice Cullen sat with a brightly manic smile. I felt a momentary fear that she was going to jump on me, irrational and illogical, my cheeks somehow filling with more blood as I realized I still hadn't spoken. Alice sat next to her brother, who sprawled in his seat, his green eyes watching me with a mixture of boredom and disdain. My empty desk was at his left.

"Bella. Um. Bella is my name," I finally stuttered. I closed my eyes. Everyone knew that. Use your words! "I was born in Forks, but I lived in Phoenix and now I'm back." Oh my God, I had to stop using my words. "I like books," I finished with a weak whisper. This had to stop now. I jerked back to my desk, nearly falling into my seat, certain my cheeks had never felt hotter.

"Um, thank you." Miss Bloch clearly did not have my mixture of caveman talk and babble in mind when she asked me to introduce myself.

I didn't know what had happened. Turning to see those strangely intimidating people from the cafeteria had sucked all of the intelligence right out of my head. I never fared well when asked to speak in front of people but that was by far the worst it had ever been.

By the time I'd stopped berating myself, class was half finished. Copies of _Pride and Prejudice_ had been distributed and I managed to focus long enough to copy down the reading assignment as well as the few points Miss Bloch pointed out about the time period and the author. The heat in my cheeks had died away by the time the bell rang. With a sigh of relief, I got up, grabbing my messenger bag and rain coat with one hand.

A seam in the bottom of the bag abruptly gave away and books thudded to the floor followed by a cascade of shuffling paper. I gasped, blood flooding my face as I uselessly grasped at the torn halves of the bag. I couldn't look up, mortified and angry as I kneeled to the ground and grabbed at textbooks and hand outs, trying to stack them into some kind of pile. "Excuse me." My head jerked up but the face attached to the voice was already turned to the door, trying to get away from the constant accident that was my life. He stepped around the papers that had fluttered towards the exit, putting a hand on his sister's shoulder. "Alice, her cardigan is exactly like my grandmothers." His stage whisper easily reached my ears but I looked away, pretending like it hadn't, biting my lip to staunch the angry tears that suddenly flooded my eyes.

"Ignore him." Angela was at my side, kneeling on the ground as she stacked papers and gathered books. "Edward Cullen is a miserable jackass." She wasn't looking at me and I was grateful, not wanting anyone to witness the dampness in my eyes. "And I like your cardigan," she added quietly. I laughed weakly.

The day finished nicely with gym, the class I hated most. Only two years had been required at my school in Phoenix but my bad luck was holding out and I had no choice but to take it here. Because I didn't have clothes, I was at least allowed to sit it out. I spent the entire time trying to find a song on my iPod that matched the anger and embarrassment still making my blood pound in my ears.

When the last bell rang, I shot out of the gym as if my pants were on fire, books and folders clasped to my chest, my messenger bag uselessly swinging from my shoulder. I jumped into the cab of my truck, uncaring of the pile of schoolwork that slid over the seat, tumbling from my arms. Gunning the engine, I wrenched the wheel, the first student off the lot.


	2. The Challenge

**Two**

The phone rang while I was doing the dishes from dinner, startling me so that I nearly dropped the plate in my soapy hands. No one ever called the house after seven. Between the Swan hermit gene and the sedate nature of the town, I could count on one hand the number of times I'd heard it ring at all. "It's for you, Bells." My dad's voice was gruffer than usual, doubtlessly wondering what teenage drama he'd signed on for by having me in the house during the school year.

I wanted to tell him he didn't have to worry, that the idea of throwing keggers while he was out of town, or draping the neighbor's house in toilet paper, or running up a three hundred dollar phone bill just gossiping was about as likely as getting cholera. Instead, I nervously took the phone and said, "Hello?"

"Bella? It's Jessica Stanley! From Spanish!"

"Right. How did you get this number?"

"There's only one Swan in the phone book." God, that meant anyone could call me. My heart actually lurched a little at the thought, just confirming the hermit gene was not recessive for me. "Anyways, I was calling because a gang of us usually run by the coffee stand before school. Did you want to meet up?"

"Uh, sure." I wasn't much for coffee or caffeine but thinking of the disdainful Cullens suddenly made me feel like I could use some friends. "That sounds great."

"Cool. It's two blocks south of school. Don't worry about the time—everyone is there until the last minute."

So I found myself barreling down the highway the following morning, tempted to throw on my brights in the heavy fog, hoping I didn't miss the coffee stand. I only managed to see it because of the number of cars crowded around the tiny structure, marooned in the parking lot of the grocery store.

I parked at the edge of the sea of cars angled around the miniature house, the lone barista inside grim-faced as he took orders from the long line of students. "Bella!" Jessica had spotted me, hopping through the crowd to my side. "I'm so glad you came."

I smiled. "Thanks, Jessica." Maybe-Mike soon followed, his hands shoved into the pockets of his rain coat.

"Getting your java fix?" he asked, grinning.

"Caffeine usually makes me feel like a chihuahua on crack--"

"Oh, come on, Bella!" Jessica laughed. "This is the best crack in town." Threading her arm through mine, she dragged me towards the line.

"Alright, so long as when I start shivering uncontrollably, you know it's your fault."

When we reached the determined looking barista, she asked him to make up two of the usual. I tipped him extra as we walked away with our paper cups steaming, not sure I could handle such a job without wanting to douse myself in pitchers of burning hot coffee.

I was thrilled at my success in driving back to school without sloshing any of my drink. I did take several large gulps before climbing into my truck, cringing at the bitterness, but still. I generally didn't make it far with beverages without wrecking my clothes with spills. My mom had tried to make me feel better about the stains and splatters by offering to add glitter and paint. "So it looks deliberate, sweetie!"

Halfway through Spanish, I realized I was nervously, almost maniacally tapping my pen against my notebook. When I tried to stop, I felt my foot start to nervously jiggle, tapping against the leg of my chair. I could barely focus. It had to be the coffee.

As the bell rang, I hurried over to Jessica's side. "What the hell did you order for me?" I could nearly feel a sheen of sweat breaking out over my forehead.

Jessica grinned. "A triple venti latte!" Her smile faltered at my expression. "Are your shakes coming on?" I just groaned.

"I'm going to splash some water on my face." At the genuine sympathy in her eyes, I tried to joke, "Maybe there's a barista in the girls' bathroom and I can get my next fix."

"Just don't agree to be his bitch. That's rock bottom, Bella."

I managed to smile before hurrying towards the bathrooms. Once the door shut behind me, I leaned over the sink, taking a few deep breaths. As I felt my pulse slow from its manic stutter, I noticed with surprise that the mirrors weren't nearly as marked with graffiti as at my old school. Then I saw the face in the reflection.

I was always pale but the shock of the caffeine had drained my skin even further, my brown eyes large as they returned my nervous gaze. I pulled my eyes away from the familiar face, turning the taps and putting my wrists under the cold water. I had to pull up the sleeves of my cardigan, tossed on defiantly this morning, to keep them from getting wet.

Sure, my mom had teased me about being eighteen going on thirty-five, but I knew I didn't dress like a grandmother. The v-neck cardigan was perfectly fine, perfectly normal, a thin cream cotton and comfortably worn-in. I could punch Edward Cullen in his stupid face for making me question my own taste. What did he have against cardigans anyways?

Taking another deep breath, I turned off the tap realizing I'd be late to my next class if I spent anymore time thinking about it.

At lunch, Maybe-Mike pointed at the canvas tote I was carrying since my messenger bag had died the day before. "Nice!" he laughed.

I raised a brow. "You have something against kittens?" The screen print on the front of the bag blared in capital letters, _Phoenix Humane Society 10K Fun Run_. A cartoonish kitten frolicked beneath the words.

"No, no, of course not."

"I could understand if you did. They're second only to puppies in their nefariousness."

"Do you run?" he asked abruptly.

"Oh, no." He looked surprised by how certain I sounded. "Running for me generally means falling."

"Nobody is that uncoordinated."

"I'd show you but that would mean giving an example. As a rule, I try not to voluntarily fall on my face."

"And with all that caffeine in your system," Jessica added.

"Seriously, were you trying to kill me?" I turned to her as I took a bite from my sandwich. "I'll never be tempted by cocaine knowing caffeine gives me palpitations."

"I'll knit you a little sweater to keep your shakes away," she grinned.

"What'd I miss?" Maybe-Mike asked. I really needed to bite the bullet and just ask him to repeat his name. Now that we'd had multiple encounters though, it seemed more rude. Of course, if I slipped and called him Maybe-Mike to his face, it'd be far worse.

"Just Bella getting the DTs!" Jessica laughed.

"After you fed me your triple sugar crack bomb!" I exclaimed defensively.

"It's not my fault you don't have any tolerance."

"It worries me to think of you consuming that every day." I turned to Angela. "Do you think maybe we should have an intervention?"

The bell rang before she could reply and we gathered our things, heading to A.P. English. I wrinkled my nose and took a deep breath, glad the distraction of lunch had kept my mind off of the class I initially thought I'd be looking forward to.

The Cullens and Hales were already there. I tried to ignore them as I took my seat but couldn't help noticing a pair of green eyes fixed with amusement on my bag. I felt my cheeks flush but kept my eyes down as I took my seat at his side, wishing I could ask Angela to switch with me. Of course, given that even her kindness had lapsed in describing him as a jackass, it wouldn't be a fair request.

Miss Bloch immediately started class with questions and I was glad to see she assumed we had all read the first three chapters as assigned the day before. She asked for the main character's names, scribbling the answers on the board. I bit my lip nervously, knowing I should participate but still feeling jittery from the coffee and foolish from yesterday's disasterous introduction. "Eric, what do you think of Mrs. Bennett?" He was a tall, thin guy who sat next to Maybe-Mike at lunch. I resisted pumping my fist that I now knew his name for certain.

He answered Miss Bloch haltingly, pushing his straight black hair out of his eyes. "She's kind of dumb."

"Dumb, Eric? How so?" He fumbled for his book, finding the pages that described the character. I scanned the third chapter as he read out loud, smiling at the lines describing the gossip and misinformation that accompanied the new arrivals in town. "And what about Mr. Darcy. What do you think of his behavior?"

I was surprised when the lanky figure next to me shifted, having to concentrate to keep from looking at him as he spoke. "It makes sense to me."

"Yeah, if you're a total douche." It took me a second to realize I'd spoken the words out loud.

"Excuse me, Miss Swan?" Miss Bloch confirmed that I had indeed lost my mind, her tone questioning.

I pulled my eyes from my desk, meeting her gaze. "He's a snob," I clarified, lifting my chin despite the fact that I knew my face was growing pinker by the second.

"He isn't," Edward Cullen's voice was insistent and slightly annoyed. I couldn't help turning to look at him now, my own anger flaring. "He's only there as a favor to his friend. It's not his fault there are all these expectations--"

"If being expected to speak to people is unreasonable, maybe he should have stayed home," I interjected, not caring that I had cut him off. He was glaring at me, his lips a thin line, green eyes furious.

"They only want to talk to him because he's new, something distracting." His voice was dangerously low but I refused to be intimidated. I turned back to the teacher, ignoring his comment and his death-stare.

"Besides, he doesn't just ignore everyone. He actually insults people within ear shot." I glanced back at him, pretty certain we weren't really talking about Mr. Darcy anymore. "If that doesn't make him a total douche, I don't know what does."

Miss Bloch's laughter finally penetrated my anger and she actually clapped her hands with glee. "I'm so glad everyone is so engaged with this book!" I glanced around and realized the whole room was fixated on me, watching silently as I acted like I had no self-control for the second day in a row. I sagged into my desk, willing the floor to open up and swallow me. "Be prepared to discuss the next three chapters tomorrow!" The bell rang on her last word and I forced myself to stay in my seat, not wanting to risk making eye contact with either of the Cullens as they exited the class.

"Wow, Bella." Angela's voice was a whisper and I turned my head to see she hadn't gotten up either. Her eyes were wide behind her glasses, a hesitant smile crossing her mouth.

"I'm blaming the caffeine," I groaned, putting my head on my desk. Angela laughed.

"He hardly ever talks in class and the one time he does, you rip him a new one. Wait until Jessica hears." I groaned again, closing my eyes.

"_I'm_ never talking in this class again. My brain filter obviously dies here." How had I managed to make enemies within the first two days of school? I'd barely spoken to anyone in Phoenix and now my life was starting to resemble a bad teen drama. Now someone just needed to burst into tears and run from the cafeteria--and I had a bad feeling it wasn't going to be Edward Cullen.

"Come on or you'll be late to gym." As if the day could get any worse.


	3. The Accidental Nickname

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters and concepts of the _Twilight _series. They are the sole creation and property of Stephenie Meyer.

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**Three**

Weekdays and weekends in Phoenix had blended into one another, too similar to be distinguished. I had a destination in the morning, my mom dropping me off with a happy wave, ear buds in place until I absolutely had to take them out, evenings full of reading and homework. The weekends weren't much different other than the destination being the grocery store or the library. Here, with the truck at my disposal and Jessica's eager invitations to coffee and lunch, the weekend felt suddenly quiet and empty. I rolled over in bed with a groan, pulling my pillow over my head. This was why I was a recluse, so there wouldn't be a chance for the days to feel lonely.

I finally pulled myself from the tangle of sheets, glancing at the gray skies beyond the windows. The house was on a quiet block surrounded by trees and even though one of my bedroom windows faced the street, there was never any noise. I pushed aside the thin curtains that had hung in front of the damp panes since I was small. At least it wasn't raining.

I stripped out of my sweats and tank top and climbed into the shower, ignoring the tangled hair and dull expression in the cabinet mirror. I used a generous amount of shampoo, thinking of how I'd intended to cut my hair before I left Phoenix but suddenly had no time. It was nearly to my waist, almost too thick to pull into a pony tail, curling at the ends when it dried. I tried not to think about why I hadn't had time to get a trim, how I'd wanted to spend every minute with my mom before I came to Forks, knowing how badly I'd miss her.

"Bells?" My dad's voice called up the stairs. "Renee's on the phone." I couldn't help smiling, quickly scrambling into jeans, a hoodie and Converse.

"Coming!" We hadn't talked since I'd first arrived, the night before school started. She and her husband had been on the road in the interim and I was sure she'd lost the car charger, leaving her with a useless cell.

I bounded down the stairs, nearly tripping on the final step but catching myself in time. Charlie grimaced as I grabbed the phone, his brows knit with worry at my stumble. I tried not to roll my eyes.

"Hey, Mom!"

"Baby! It's so good to hear your voice. How are things in Forks?"

"Okay, actually," I found myself surprised to say. "I've met some nice people, Jessica Stanley and Angela Weber. And Maybe-Mike," I added, blushing as the nickname in my head spilled out.

"Oh, I remember the Stanleys. Did you say 'Maybe-Mike'?" She sounded confused.

"Yeah," I laughed. "You know I can't remember names to save my life. I'm half convinced his name is actually Ernest."

"Or Ronald."

"Or Hamilton." My mom always got my humor.

"Well, why aren't you hanging out with them this weekend? What are they all up to?"

"I don't know," I mumbled. "I didn't want to ask. Anyways," my voice got brisk. "I need to go into Port Angeles to get a new bag."

"Oh, no! What happened to the old one?" She'd bought it for me when I'd started high school in Phoenix. Renee was ridiculously sentimental about inanimate things, the clutter of her house not so much due to messiness as opposed to the fond memories she associated with everything.

"I had to put it down, Mom. I'm sorry."

"There was no hope? Some needle and thread--"

"No, Mom. I'm sorry. If there had been any other way..."

"I understand..." she sighed.

"How's Phil?" I asked. I'd always liked her husband, a minor league baseball player who really cared about her. I was only sorry she'd waited so long to go on the road with him, insisting I finish up my junior year before moving to Forks. She'd even suggested I finish high school entirely but I knew it wasn't what she really wanted. I listened to her describe the restaurant he'd taken her to the night before, a waffle and steak place on the back roads of Tennessee, laughing as she insisted that sirloin was excellent with maple syrup.

When I got off the phone, I called out to Charlie that I was heading to Port Angeles to get a new bag. His grunt from the sofa indicated his approval so I grabbed my rain coat and headed out the door. There was only a slight mist but I knew better than to risk getting caught in a sudden downpour with only a hoodie. I patted the dash of my truck as it rumbled to life, pulling out of the drive and following the town roads to the highway.

The truck was a red, rusted beast from long before the days of power steering and airbags. However, I knew any accident I got in would leave the other car in far worse shape. A surprise gift from my dad, I'd been delighted to find out it was mine when I saw it waiting in the drive the day I arrived in Forks. The engine had been rebuilt by Jake Black, the son of my dad's best friend, Billy. I vaguely remembered playing down on the reservation with Jake's older sisters but barely recognized the gangly kid who'd handed over the keys.

The evergreens formed a narrow corridor around the highway, green and looming, only thinning once I approached the coast and Port Angeles. The sky was struggling to clear as well, wisps of blue appearing through the cloud cover. I was starting to understand why people lost their minds in this area when that happened, throwing on shorts and sandals even though it was only fifty degrees outside.

I bypassed the waterfront with its quaint shops and tourist attractions and headed straight for the department store, a big block of a building with a parking garage beneath. My dad had bought my new sheets here before I arrived. My guess was most of the Forks High students did their school shopping here, too.

I tried to tune out the sensory-dulling hum of smooth jazz as I passed through the glass doors, making a beeline for the accessories department. The Kenny G. burblings were hard to block and I wondered if I should put on my headphones. I was just reaching for my iPod in the canvas kitten tote I'd been forced to carry all week when I spotted two familiar figures examining leather handbags across the aisle.

Because I'd spent the remainder of the week staring at my desk in English, I was startled to realize I recognized Alice Cullen and Rosalie Hale on sight. Of course I glimpsed them in the halls, unfailingly accompanied by their boyfriends, but I tried to keep my eyes averted, not wanting any further drama. Alice's brother had made it relatively easy by pretending I didn't exist and speaking only when called on in English.

Rosalie was somehow even more beautiful without the scowl that seemed to haunt her features at school. I briefly pictured her boyfriend with a handbag draped around his neck and smiled at the thought of telling him it was the only way to keep her from looking pissed off. Her expression was almost content as she watched Alice try to decide between two bags, chewing her full bottom lip as she considered the choices. Alice, so petite she might have fit in Rosalie's pocket, twirled at that moment, as if the action would help her choose. As she spun, her wide blue eyes caught mine and somehow got even wider.

I jerked my head down, blushing furiously as I pretended to look at the wallets on the rack in front of me. I could hear her padding towards me and was swearing at myself for not ducking behind a display when I first saw them. "Oh my gosh!" Alice Cullen exclaimed, as if I were a birthday surprise.

"Uh, hi." The eagerness and happiness on Alice's narrow face was confusing, her excitement palpable as she rocked back and forth on her heels. Over her shoulder, I could see Rosalie drifting our way, her brow furrowing with an expression I was more used to seeing there. She was nearly the same height as her burly boyfriend and I didn't doubt she could snatch the hair off my head.

"You know we've called him T.D. all week!" Alice burst out as though she was continuing a conversation I simply wasn't aware of.

"Tee...?" I said faintly, my gaze darting back and forth between Alice's eager smile and Rosalie's chagrin.

"T.D. The initials," she explained. "It stands for 'Total Douche'."

"Oh my God." I exhaled, the words caught between a whisper and a groan. My shock was genuine, my eyes wide as I stared at Edward Cullen's sister with complete disbelief. "We--we were talking about the book...not--"

"It's funny!" Alice sounded defensive, clearly seeing I wasn't tickled by the idea—that I wasn't pleased at all. "I do have to make sure I can run away fast enough when I call him that," she admitted. The color that had drained from my face when she explained the nickname surged back so forcefully, I could feel my ears getting hot. "Of course, Emmett doesn't run," she added thoughtfully, delicately chewing the nail of her pointer finger. "But then, he likes to wrestle."

"Alice," Rosalie's voice was a warning, her brown eyes resting suspiciously on my distressed face. "We should go. I don't think--"

"Fine," Alice huffed, turning on a tiny foot. "It was nice to meet you!" She waved over her shoulder.

I weakly waved back, wondering what in the hell had just happened.

Remembering my original intent, I picked out a canvas messenger bag almost exactly like the one that had fallen apart my first day of school and gratefully climbed back into my truck for the journey home. It wasn't until the city limits of Port Angeles were behind me that I found myself gasping with laughter, tears streaming down my face at the thought of Edward Cullen's new nickname.


	4. Homecoming

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters and concepts of the _Twilight _series. They are the sole creation and property of Stephenie Meyer.

* * *

**Four**

I had no intention of sharing the nickname I'd accidentally provided with anyone, though I still occasionally got the giggles just thinking about it. Clearly, it was something only his brother and sister could get away with using and sharing it with any of the people I'd gotten to know in the first few weeks of school wouldn't serve any purpose. It wasn't as if he talked to anyone besides his family and the Hales anyways.

I wondered though, if he knew that I'd found out. Alice obviously had about as much impulse control as a toddler and after I caught him glaring at me across the lunch room, I suddenly didn't doubt that he knew. I wasn't frightened of him, but I certainly didn't want to cause any more trouble so it only strengthened my resolve not to share. I was starting to think calling him Captain Death Glare made more sense anyways.

"So are you going to the homecoming game?" Maybe-Mike was at my locker right before lunch, leaning nonchalantly with his hands shoved in his pockets.

"You would think I would understand the rules of football given how often it's on at my house."

"You would think," Maybe-Mike grinned.

"But you would be wrong," I answered.

"Well, it's not really about the game, though," he pressed.

I nodded. Most activities around here seemed to be a group thing. It was kind of reassuring and alarming at the same time. "Okay."

"So I'll pick you up around five?"

I frowned, confused. "Won't Angela and Jessica be there? And Eric?" Maybe-Mike drove one of the many SUVs that crowded the lot at school and often acted as chauffeur.

His blue eyes darted away. "Right, yeah."

"They're going, aren't they?" I couldn't help the note of alarm that entered my voice.

"Yeah, yeah," he smiled, his eyes darting back to mine. "I'll drive them, too."

I exhaled, relieved. "Great."

In the cafeteria, the buzz was crazier than usual and I realized it must be because of the football game that night. I'd rarely paid attention to school events in Phoenix; I couldn't recall going to one game or dance, though my mom had often asked if I needed a ride. It wasn't as if anything had changed in regards to my interest in sports, I'd just never had friends to enjoy them with before.

"So I can give you guys all a ride—I'll have the Suburban," I overheard Maybe-Mike offer to the table at large. I flushed, realizing my fears that he was initially only asking me weren't unfounded.

"Oh, great, Mike. I wasn't sure how I was going to get there," Angela's relief was obvious, her hands clasped in genuine thanks.

"Hey," Jessica hissed. "I might be able to steal a couple of wine coolers from the fridge. You know," she added, "if you guys want."

Mike and Eric whooped, clearly thrilled while I flushed, chewing my lip with worry. Jessica saw my concern and immediately tried to allay my fears, "You don't have to drink anything, Bella. I know being Chief Swan's daughter and all--"

"Are you kidding me?" Maybe-Mike had overheard and interrupted. "She's the only one of us who wouldn't get in trouble--"

"Bullshit!" I hissed, glancing around, worried we might be overheard in the clamor of the cafeteria. "My dad gave me a ticket for riding my bike without a helmet when I was twelve! There is no way I'm getting a slap on the wrist for underage drinking." I was so annoyed and flushed, I didn't realize the table had burst into laughter until I'd finished speaking.

"A ticket?!" Eric choked out.

"Can't you just see it? Training wheels, tongue poking out," Maybe-Mike put his foot on the bench, hands out, pretending to pedal.

"Oh, screw you guys," I burst out, exasperated. Luckily, the bell rang, rescuing me from further teasing.

Angela reassured me as we approached the half-empty class. "Don't worry about the guys. Jessica never manages to get more than two or three bottles. When they're split five or six ways, no one ever gets more than a few sips."

I smiled back but still bit my lip, trying not to worry. I was soon distracted as Eric followed us into class, seating himself behind me and chortling under his breath. Just as the Cullens and Hales were walking in, he poked me in the back with his pen, whispering, "Did he really give you a ticket?"

I turned in my seat and rolled my eyes. "Yeah but since it was his money that paid my allowance--"

"He was really ticketing himself." Eric shook his head, his lank hair falling into his eyes. "That's messed up."

"Tell me about it."

As I turned back around, I thought I saw Edward Cullen shift in his seat, as if leaning away from listening to our conversation. I let my eyes slide towards him but didn't turn my head, wondering how he could be interested in anything we were saying. I didn't have time to think about it as Miss Bloch started class.

"We've reached the halfway point of _Pride and Prejudice_ and I want to give you all something creative and fun as your next assignment." She was beaming, unaffected by the apathy in the room.

"In small groups, I want you to write a short screenplay version of the novel." She grabbed a sheaf of papers from her desk and passed around a hand out explaining screenplay conventions. "You'll then act out your version for the class!" Alice's squeal nearly drowned out the groans from the rest of the class. "Oh, come on!" Miss Bloch cajoled. "Given the class size, you have a whopping audience of seven or eight people at the most!" Her lips thinned with determination. "Let's have Rosalie, Jasper and Alice in one group, Edward and Bella in another, Angela and Eric…"

Her words faded as I turned in horror to Captain Death Glare. He looked equally annoyed, green eyes flashing as he leaned forward in his seat, an exasperated sigh blowing from his mouth. I turned back to Miss Bloch, weighing how she'd react to a request to switch partners. She seemed to be in a good mood but you never knew with teachers; even the nicest ones seemed to have sadistic streaks…

"So which characters should we write about?" Edward's voice interrupted my musings on whether the sadism originated in college or didn't show up until after a few years of getting worn down by hormone addled teenagers.

"Er, what?"

"Which characters should we write about?" He spoke slowly, as if he doubted my mental faculties.

I met his gaze and was caught off guard by the lack of hostility there. "Sorry, I was just thinking about…" His eyes were the brightest green.

Edward cocked a brow. "About what?" He was actually really attractive without the scowl, his wild hair tinged with bronze, a slight smile tilting his lips.

"Uh…" What had I been thinking about? "Whether teachers are sadists before or after they start teaching."

"What did you conclude?"

"I think it must be after," I bit my lip, wondering if his soft laugh was _at_ me or _with_ me. "I know I'd develop a cruel streak after being in high school beyond the required four years."

"You don't like it here?"

"No, that's not it." I was blushing furiously, wondering how we'd landed on this topic. "I actually don't mind it—much less than Phoenix." My blush only intensified. I generally disliked talking about myself and hadn't had a reason to mention Phoenix after my first day at school. "You were saying we should pick characters." I stared intently at the hand out Miss Bloch had provided, willing my cheeks to cool.

"Right," his voice was abrupt and I glanced up, seeing the frown that furrowed his brow. Ah, Captain Death Glare was back. I was much more comfortable seeing that familiar face.

We managed to hammer out a few details without any name-calling and I gratefully headed to gym when the bell rang. That was definitely a first; trust Captain Death Glare to make me happy to go to gym.

Angela was still feeling residual guilt when Maybe-Mike picked me up later that night before the homecoming game.

"Gosh, Bella, I am so sorry!"

"Don't worry, Angela, the partners were assigned." I grimaced when I saw Maybe-Mike had saved the passenger seat for me, Angela and Jessica in the first row, Eric and Conner in the back. To my relief, no wine coolers had made an appearance.

"What class was this?" Jessica asked.

"English," Angela answered. "Bella got Edward Cullen as a partner for this project."

"Damn, that sucks," Maybe-Mike sympathized.

I frowned, suddenly defensive. "It wasn't that bad. Though I don't think we could have used fewer words to decide what we're going to do."

"It didn't look so tense at first!" Eric called from the back seat. I could feel Maybe-Mike glancing at me and stared straight ahead with a set jaw.

"Bella, the Cullens are trouble," he said flatly.

I snorted. "Says the guy who's about to sneak wine coolers into the homecoming game."

"That's different. Edward and Emmett got expelled--"

"Do you even know what for?" When he went to speak, I added, "And not just rumors!"

"Well," Jessica interjected. "The vice principal's wife is a friend of my mom…they're in book club together. She pretty much said the rumors are true."

"What are the rumors, then?" I realized my voice was doubtfully sarcastic but I didn't care. Being disinclined to gossip meant I was still in the dark as to why the Cullens were supposedly so bad.

"Fighting. And the other kid had to go to the hospital."

"I can believe it," I muttered. "Emmett is huge."

"No, not Emmett, _Edward_," Jessica corrected. "Emmett had some back alley fake ID operation going."

"Why when their parents are loaded?" I asked rhetorically while trying to picture Edward hitting someone, much less so often that the other person had to go to the hospital. I'd seen a few fights in the halls and parking lot at school in Phoenix but it was usually just awkward wrestling with a few wild punches that didn't hit their target. I shook my head, unable to imagine the quiet, pale student who rarely spoke to anyone as violent—despite his death glares.

"Who knows?" Maybe-Mike shrugged. "None of them were adopted until they were teenagers so they're just messed up."

I frowned, not wanting to write anyone off so completely with so little information…but I also didn't want to talk about the Cullens anymore and decided to drop it.

The bright lights of the football stadium announced its presence long before we drew up to the nearly full parking lot. The cheers and clapping could easily be heard over our chatter as we slammed out of the Suburban. I nearly lost my footing climbing out of the high seat.

"I thought you'd have practice with that, driving your truck,' Maybe-Mike laughed.

"Oh, I tend to fall out of it, too."

"You should see her in gym," Jessica added with a mischievous smile. I saw she'd brought her backpack as she pulled it off the floor of the Suburban before shutting the door. I felt my smile falter but tried to rally.

"I actually managed to hit myself with my badminton racquet today."

"I don't think even Coach Clapp could believe it," Jessica laughed.

"It ricocheted off the net!"

We were laughing when we entered the stadium. Jessica scoped out a bleacher with barely enough space for our group, forcing the people around us to shift and scoot to make room. I soon realized it was so any drinking could be easily concealed by the crowd.

I couldn't help glancing around nervously, trying to see just how many parents and teachers were in attendance. The bleachers were nearly full, the sea of faces ruddy with the cold, cheering the players on the field. I was surprised when I thought I spied Alice's tiny figure huddled next to Jasper Hale on the highest row, the only bench empty of people. My eyes narrowed as I ascertained it really was Alice, her spiky hair concealed by a white knit beret. "The Cullens come to football games?" I asked before I realized the question was being spoken out loud. I had to stop doing that.

"Emmett's on the team." Luckily, I was between Angela and Eric, who was too busy shouting at the running figures on the field to hear me. Her quiet answer didn't catch anyone's attention.

As she spoke, I saw Edward and Rosalie making their way towards Alice and Jasper, his arms extended as he walked along the bench instead of on the ground. Rosalie, devastating in a white wool coat, deliberately bumped him, laughing when he teetered. I snapped my head around as I realized Eric was trying to covertly hand me a wine cooler.

I shook my head but sniffed the bottle before passing it to Angela. It smelled so strongly and artificially of strawberries that my nose wrinkled. She leaned close, whispering into my ear. "My dad's a reverend. Not as bad as the chief of police but I think I'll pass, too." I handed it back to Eric with a smile and he shrugged before taking another sip.

I did my best to pay attention to the game, cheering at the same time as everyone else, standing and clapping when the Spartans scored a touchdown, and high fiving Eric when he insisted on it. I was relieved when it was over, though, my cheeks numb with cold as we shuffled with the crowd towards the parking lot.

I had been to a concert once that had felt a lot like this, surrounded by a crush of bodies I could barely see around given I was only five foot four. I was glad when clusters of people broke off, heading to their individual cars, the open space of the parking lot coming into view. It reminded me that my reclusiveness included an anxiety in large crowds that wasn't entirely in my head; I actually got a little short of breath sometimes.

Two street lights did little to illuminate the lot, the sky blue black with the late hour. I noticed a tall figure hesitating next to a silver car, eyes turned towards me.

I belatedly realized it was Edward Cullen, his expression frustrated as he stared at me. I paused, caught off guard, wanting to look around to see what could have caught his attention…but somehow I knew his eyes were fixed on me.

"Bella?" Jessica's voice brought me back to reality, obviously wondering why I'd stopped in my tracks.

"Coming."

Edward had already turned away, sliding into the driver's seat of the silver car, his sister bouncing into the seat next to him. The engine was silent as he pulled out of the lot.


	5. Halloween

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters and concepts of the _Twilight _series. They are the sole creation and property of Stephenie Meyer.

* * *

**Five**

I made risotto squash the day before Halloween, the house filled with warm autumn smells when my dad walked in after work. "Bells?"

"In here, Dad!" I was stirring while the chicken broth boiled down, the stray curls around my face growing damp with steam.

"How was school?" I heard him ask as he took off his boots and holster in the hallway.

"Good." Neither one of us felt the need to fill the quiet with chatter. My ability to outlast anyone through an awkward silence didn't come from my mom.

"Any plans for Halloween?" He entered the kitchen, crossing to the fridge to grab a beer.

"Oh, I don't know. Jessica is having a party but I don't think I'm going." I kept my gaze fixed on the pot, not wanting him to see my discomfort. Jessica's parents were going to be out of town and I couldn't contemplate going to a kegger. It wasn't only that I was worried about getting caught, though that certainly made me break out in a sweat. Forks was such a small town that if that happened, the talk would be unbearable even if my father weren't the chief of police. Given his position, it felt far too disrespectful to him. "I don't have a costume anyways," I added, to keep him from asking any questions.

"Alright."

Once the broth had fully reduced, I gave the risotto a few more minutes while adding salad to two plates and setting the table. When we were seated, I remembered how I'd meant to ask my dad about the Cullens and the Hales weeks ago, when school first started. Thinking about the trouble I'd risk getting into by going to Jessica's party reminded me that _they_ were considered trouble, despite only being guilty of aloofness at school.

"So I'm working on this project for English." It was always best to approach my dad indirectly. He disliked gossip more than I did and couldn't be trusted to answer outright questions about the town he'd patrolled for the entirety of my life.

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah, we have to take a novel and make it into a screenplay. Set in the present day or whatever." I looked appropriately exasperated as I speared a chunk of squash with my fork.

"Who's your partner?"

"Edward Cullen." I forced myself not to look up as he visibly stilled across the table.

"Now, Bells…" he started, putting down his fork.

I raised my eyes, unable to hide my curiosity. "Yes?"

"Those Cullen kids…" he shook his head, picking up his napkin from his lap in a motion that was almost…nervous.

"They're always with the Hales," I added. "I don't remember them from when I used to visit you."

Charlie seemed to welcome the misdirection, looking up again. "They lived in Port Angeles for quite a while. John Hale was the district attorney for the county but the election meant he was out of a job…oh, seven or eight years ago?" He pulled at his mustache, considering. "And it's not like those Hale kids would have been making mud pies out on the reservation." He chuckled, picking up his fork again.

I remembered Jessica referring to them as the rich kids but didn't say anything, knowing that would have just made my dad uncomfortable. "They probably were at camp or something, right?"

My dad snorted. "There's enough fishing, boating, and hiking out here for this whole area to be considered a camp. No, I think the Hales used to travel during the summer—either back east where they still have family or somewhere foreign for vacations."

I couldn't help a small smile that my dad referred to it as 'back east,' like we lived in covered wagon times. If this were Oregon Trail, I would have died while trying to ford the river given my clumsiness.

"But the Cullens," he'd clearly remembered how we'd gotten on this topic in the first place. "Those kids are trouble."

I couldn't help frowning but I kept my voice even. "Really?"

"Just believe me. Those boys are lucky juvenile records get dismissed after age eighteen."

I just nodded but suddenly wasn't hungry anymore.

"So are you sure you're not coming, Bella?" Jessica's voice was a plea, nearly dancing in her seat.

"Just call me paranoid," I answered as I toyed with an apple. The cafeteria was louder than usual, squeals erupting whenever one of the football players pretended to bite any girl who got too close. They'd all worn fangs for Halloween and the quarterback had even scrounged up a black cape.

"You don't really think it'll get busted, do you?" Maybe-Mike's voice was challenging.

"I'm not going to tell my dad, if that's what you're asking."

"No!" He was suddenly defensive, blue eyes darting away.

"I'll be a killjoy, too nervous to enjoy myself. It's for your benefit, not mine." It wasn't entirely true. The cafeteria was practically out of control, zombies shuffling through and holding up the line, a freshman dressed in a gorilla suit jumping up and down on a table, and an obnoxious pirate asking every girl who walked by for booty. The last thing I wanted was to add alcohol to the mix.

"If you say so," Maybe-Mike muttered, obviously put out though I couldn't understand why.

Sighing, I pushed away from the table. "Angela, I'm going to class early. I'll see you there." She nodded and I headed for the double doors, my bag slung over my shoulder.

The door to the classroom was locked but the halls were thankfully empty. I glanced down at my faded jeans and frayed Vans before sinking to the floor, not worried about getting dirty. I pulled out my battered copy of _Pride and Prejudice_ and leaned against the wall, happy with a few solitary moments to quietly read.

"You're that eager for English?" The smooth voice startled me and I nearly dropped the book.

Edward Cullen was leaning against the lockers next to me, forcing me to peer up at him from my spot on the floor. "You're too tall." I really had to stop saying the first thing that popped into my head when in his presence.

He laughed softly and obligingly sank down to the floor as well, long legs crossed in front of him. There was an awkward silence as he stared at his hands and I wondered if he was going to take away my crown. It was clear he was capable of refraining from speaking for extended periods of time; most of his surly reputation was based on his refusal to talk to people. Sighing, I answered his question, giving in this once. "I wanted to get away."

He looked up, his green eyes soft. "Was it the pirate or the vampires that did you in?"

I grinned. "It was Lauren dressed up like a sexy cat. When did this holiday turn into an excuse for girls to wear thigh highs?"

Edward frowned, "I didn't see her."

"Impossible! She practically threw herself at you!" I flushed, realizing I'd noticed and had just given that away. I swallowed. "Remember? Girl dressed all in black doing an exaggerated stretch in front of your table?"

Edward looked thoughtful. "I thought she was doing yoga. Emmett threw a fry at her."

I choked on a laugh. English had remained a tense class with neither one of us speaking unless called upon by Miss Bloch. The one day a week that was set aside to work on our project found us tersely translating scenes into screenplay format, silently flipping through the pages of the novel to find appropriate dialogue. I wondered what had brought on the sudden change.

"Did the fry have ketchup on it?" It was his turn to chuckle and I noticed his green eyes crinkled when he laughed.

The bell rang, jerking me from my thoughts. I lurched to my feet, grimacing when he gracefully rose to his full height at my side.

"Edward!" Alice Cullen danced down the hall, her blue eyes bright as they darted between Edward's suddenly cold expression and my own. Jasper Hale was directly behind her, his hazel eyes amused as he approached. "I was wondering where you went!" Alice's voice was a bell, high and feminine, her teeth flashing as she grinned at her brother.

"I'm so glad to see so many students early for class!" Miss Bloch interrupted before he could reply, unlocking the door.

I glanced over my shoulder as I took my seat and saw Edward's features were annoyed, Captain Death Glare taking up residence again. I shrugged, cracking my book open and reading a few more paragraphs until class started. His douchery was no concern of mine.

I stumbled through gym, not sure whether I was annoyed that we'd moved on from badminton. Volleyball wasn't much better; while a bigger ball was easier to dodge, it was also a lot heavier and capable of doing more damage. I managed to only get pegged with it once, squeaking when it clocked me in the ribs. "You hit the ball with your hands, not your body!" Lauren called from the other side of the net.

I'd stopped scowling by the time gym was over, rushing to my locker to grab a few books before heading home. The halls were nearly empty, everyone cutting out as soon as possible to get ready for parties and pranking. Just as I'd entered the combination and slid the door open, an arm suddenly hooked my waist, twisting me around and bending me backwards.

"I want to suck your blood!" The quarterback was leering over me making a disgusting sucking noise through his plastic fangs, his body heat enveloping me, too close.

I struggled for breath, pushing at his shoulder with my free hand. "Get the hell--" The words caught in my throat as he wrenched away from me, gasping as his fingers tightened before losing their grip around my waist. I stumbled back into my locker, suddenly free, watching with mouth agape as Edward Cullen forcefully shoved him into the opposite wall. The quarterback looked just as shocked, staring up at Edward with fear and anger. Fear took precedence.

"Fuck you, man! I was just messing around!" He glanced at me before scurrying down the hall, his cape unfurling behind him.

Edward turned to me, his expression tight. "Are you okay?"

I met his eyes and nodded mutely, completely unable to speak. His eyes raked my figure, as if visually making sure I was really unharmed. He then turned and walked away, his strides long, as though he couldn't get away from me fast enough.

I realized when I pulled up to my house that I couldn't remember the drive home. After nearly falling out of the truck, I forced myself to take a few deep breaths. I didn't want to break something just because I was in a daze. Making my way into the house, I pushed the incident out of my mind, not wanting to try to understand it, certain I couldn't figure it out anyways.

The opaque clouds, a dull white sheet blocking out the sun on what could be considered a nice day, grew dark gray as twilight approached. Having only experienced a few Christmas breaks with Charlie, I was reminded of the fact that days were miserably short during northwest winters. By five, the light was gone, the sky black and unrelieved by stars.

I jumped when the phone rang, startled from the math homework I'd been failing to focus on.

"Bells?"

"Hey, Dad."

"It's going to be a late night. Halloween always is. We already got a call about someone on Shearer giving out fruit."

"Parents call you because their kids get healthy snacks instead of candy?"

There was a soft huff of laughter. "No, they're worried about razors."

"I'll leave your dinner on the top shelf in the fridge, okay?"

"You don't have to do that."

"Just sandwiches, nothing special," I replied.

The trick'or'treaters started to arrive shortly after I got off the phone. I dumped bags of chocolate bars and jawbreakers into a mixing bowl, glad I'd remembered to get candy when buying groceries earlier that week. Turning back to the kitchen, I made myself a sandwich, wrapped another in wax paper for Charlie, then tried to get some homework done inbetween the insistent knocks on the door.

It was nearly ten and Charlie still wasn't home. Rubbing my eyes, I stretched and rose from the table, cursing whichever demon had invented calculus. Just as I was about to turn off the light and head upstairs to bed, a soft knock sounded on the front door. I was surprised any kids would be out this late but shuffled to the half-full bowl of candy and opened the door. Charlie would be pissed if the house got egged.

"Alice?" I didn't know how many shocking things I could deal with in a day but Alice Cullen clearly had no qualms about surprising me.

The blue of her knee-length dress perfectly matched the bright blue of her eyes, wide and shining as she stood on the bottom step of the porch, staring up at me intently. Her white pinafore was edged in a deep ruffle, perfectly feminine and girlish. Black patent mary janes adorned her small feet, a blue ribbon threaded through her short jet hair. White knee socks completed the costume.

"Bella!" As always, she seemed pleased to see me though I had yet to figure out why that could be. I smiled to myself as I thought that maybe if I followed her down the rabbit hole, I might start to understand.

Jasper stood just beyond the light of the porch, his lean figure garbed in gray. Alice looked over her shoulder and reached out a hand to him. "I don't think you've formally met Jasper, though I know we have a class together." Her voice sounded almost apologetic.

"Hey, Bella." His voice was soft, melodic. He tipped the hat on his head and I realized he was dressed as a Civil War era soldier.

"I'm surprised you aren't wearing a cotton tail and ears," I smiled.

"Oh, she tried," Jasper admitted with a charming half-grin.

"And I'm still pissed you said 'no'," Alice pouted, swinging her hands petulantly.

"I'm sure they'll still get some use if Emmett has his way." Jasper's voice was half-consoling, half-amused.

"Oh, ew, Jasper. I don't want to think about him and Rose like that!" Alice exclaimed, a small hand flying to her mouth.

I gasped when I understood his meaning and blushed bright red. Jasper and Alice just laughed at my reaction, but not unkindly. Then, before I could speak, Alice rushed up the steps, pulled a brightly wrapped package from the pocket of her pinafore, and thrust it in my hand.

"This is for you." She sped back down the stairs, bouncing off the last step into Jasper's arms. He caught her with a soft 'umph,', setting her on her feet with a kiss to her forehead. Turning back to me, she waved. "We'll tell T.D. you said 'hello'!"

"But…" They were already gone, disappearing down the street with only soft laughter trailing behind them. I might have thought I imagined the whole encounter but for the lingering wish I could have asked them to tell Edward 'thank you' instead.


	6. Elwha Watershed

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters and concepts of the _Twilight _series. They are the sole creation and property of Stephenie Meyer.

* * *

**Six**

Mr. Banner was eager for the field trip to the Elwha Watershed to take place before the weather turned completely wintry. All four biology classes would be going at once, piled into two school buses for the long drive up the coast past Port Angeles. The trip would not be possible if there was any snow or ice on the roads.

"Ready to learn about the environment?" Maybe-Mike asked, peering over the back of the seat. He and Eric were sitting together, directly in front of Angela and me. Jessica was sandwiched between Ben and Tyler behind us, her hands wrapped around a triple sugar crack bomb.

"As if this place could be any more green," I grumbled. The rain hadn't stopped for more than an hour or two through the first weeks of November. I was starting to feel as though I would never get dry, never wear anything other than my duck shoes and rain coat, never be able to walk around outside without my hood on. The school bus smelled damp and not in a pleasant way.

"I'm just glad to get away from school for the entire day," Jessica exclaimed. "No tests, no notes, no reading!"

"We _are_ supposed to learn on this trip," Angela said wryly.

"Right," Maybe-Mike snorted. "It's all trails and woods—it'll be like going on a nature walk."

"You go on lots of nature walks, eh, Mike?" Tyler asked over our heads, his voice sardonic.

"Hey, I work at my parent's store. It's not as if I can get away from all the outdoors stuff."

"Mike, you're about as outdoorsy as my baby sister," Tyler teased. "I've seen you put up a tent. What did it take you—two hours?"

"Hey! Just because I don't think an RV qualifies as camping…"

Tyler had started sitting at our table during lunch after breaking up with Lauren Mallory, the thin blonde who had dressed up like a cat at Halloween. According to Jessica, it was an epic split with shouting in the hallways and friends taking sides. I hadn't retained any more detail than that since Lauren had never been anything other than a bitch to me and Tyler seemed like an okay guy.

"You guys have an RV?" I turned to Tyler, curious.

"Yeah, it was my grandparents." He had curly hair and a crooked smile that reminded me of someone…

"I have to agree with Maybe-Mike, here. That doesn't really count as camping." I choked on the last word, realizing what I'd just said.

"Maybe-Mike?" Tyler asked, his grin widening.

I blushed, turning to Mike apologetically. "Sorry, I'm just really bad with names…" It was too late, laughter erupting around me. Even Angela was dying, tears seeping from behind her glasses.

"Oh, man, I'm never calling you anything else!" Tyler exclaimed. Jessica and Ben were nodding in agreement.

"Thanks, Bella," Mike whispered. I was glad he didn't look mad, though his cheeks were a little pink.

After what felt like far longer than ninety minutes, the buses finally arrived, parking in a gravel lot surrounded by evergreens. I was so eager to get off the bus that I wasn't careful as I followed Eric down the aisle. The wet floor had no traction and my feet flew from beneath me just as I reached the stairs to exit the bus. I managed to crash into Angela behind me and nearly kicked Eric as I went down, grunting as I landed on my ass on the floor.

"Are you okay?" Both Angela and Eric were asking and I sighed in exasperation.

"I'm fine but for a bruised tail bone." I said ruefully, taking Eric's offered hand and scrambling to my feet. "Believe me, I do this all the time. Are you guys okay?"

"If you had gym with her," Jessica called as she carefully stepped off the bus, watching her feet after seeing me crash to the ground.

"_You_ don't need to be careful," I said, only partly joking. "I'm the one with the lack of coordination."

"I don't know, Bella. It _is_ really wet."

"Yeah, yeah," I sighed. The crowd of students milled in the lot until Mr. Banner and several volunteer parents started herding us towards the watershed.

Mike was right. The whole thing felt more like a walk in the woods rather than a field trip, groups of students following various volunteers and forestry workers down winding trails or over to the river itself. I deliberately split up from Jessica, Tyler, and Mike, their whispers and banter distracting…and I was still embarrassed about slipping up on Mike's nickname as well as falling in front of everyone. We weren't expected to take notes so I just listened, pulling my hood over my hair as drops fell sporadically from the trees above, eyes on my feet as I heard the quiet sound of the forest around me, all dripping water and distant birds.

Some of the trails had been scattered with gravel but most were packed dirt, tree roots twisting over the ground. The forestry worker explained that volunteers usually handled upkeep in the area, the department severely underfunded. I grimaced as we got nearer to the river and the trails turned nearly to mud, dodging puddles and rivulets of water. I could hear Lauren refusing to go any farther since she didn't want to get her shoes dirty.

"So I'm not the only one you've given a nickname?"

I gasped, looking up at the nearness of the voice. Edward Cullen was walking next to me, the collar of his gray pea coat turned up against the mist. Though damp with rain, his hair still stuck out wildly, untamed.

"How did you hear that?"

He shrugged, not looking at me. "You didn't answer my question."

I nearly tripped over a jutting rock, distracted that he was speaking to me, my scattered attention divided between the ground and his pale face, my hood blocking my vision. His hand momentarily grasped my upper arm, surprisingly strong, steadying me before pulling away.

"It was an accident," I murmured, shaking the hood from my head. I didn't care if my hair got wet, I needed to be able to see if I was going to avoid wiping out again.

Edward stopped and I found myself pausing as well, forcing the straggling students behind us to walk around. His gaze was fixed on my hair and I knew it must be a mess, the tendrils around my face curling with wet, too long and thick for a pony tail, tumbling over my shoulders. I self-consciously pushed strands behind my ear, knowing it was a useless effort. "I couldn't remember his name and it just stuck," I added, feeling the tell-tale warmth spread to my cheeks as his gaze shifted from the hand fussing with my hair to my eyes.

"And for me?" He asked, a smile tilting his lips. "Was that an accident?"

"Yes." My voice was firm. I really wanted him to believe me. "I never would have--"

"It's okay." He cut me off abruptly and I frowned, knowing that couldn't be true. Before I could speak, he turned, moving up the path. I hesitated, not sure for a moment if I should follow. The empty trail behind me decided it, the woods eerily quiet.

Biting my lip, I hurried to catch up to Edward's retreating back, my feet fighting for purchase on the muddy path.

I walked silently a pace behind him, certain he didn't want my company. The trail had turned into switchbacks, the edge of the path falling steeply away as it climbed higher towards the reservoir. Small mudslides had carved furrows into the ground, running water steadily trickling down. I watched my feet, gingerly squelching along, trying to make sure I didn't lose my footing.

"Look," Edward said, turning without warning.

Because I wasn't looking up, my eyes trained on the ground, I didn't realize how close he was, gasping as I knocked into him. His knees buckled on the unstable ground, leaning forward as he tried to get his bearing, which only pushed his weight towards me. I flailed, reaching out as I felt my feet going out from under me on the slippery mud. He tried to catch me but was already losing his own balance, my hands frantically grabbing at his coat in a useless attempt to keep from falling.

We hit the ground hard but the fall didn't stop. Too close to the edge of the trail, the water-logged ground seemed to give away beneath our combined weight. I felt myself tumbling down and held my breath as the sky wheeled over my head. Wet leaves slapped into my face, my hair whipping wildly around my head as we half-slid, half fell down the slope.

I didn't realize my eyes were clenched shut, braced for an impact that never came. Slowly, I opened them, realizing I'd somehow landed on top of Edward, my hands still fisted around the lapels of his coat, his arms wrapped protectively around my waist. I lifted my face to meet his gaze, shocked, my cheeks flaming as I realized my clumsiness had taken him down with me. Mud marked one of his cheekbones and little leaves dotted his wet hair. I didn't even want to think about the condition of his clothes. "Shit," I whispered.

The surprise on his own face faded when I swore, a wide smile curling his lips before he started to laugh. I could feel my cheeks getting hotter, nearly burning with embarrassment. "I can't get up until you do," he finally said.

I gasped, scrambling to my feet, suddenly incredibly conscious of his body beneath my own. When he rose to his feet, I exclaimed, "Oh my God!" His jeans were filthy, streaked green by the ferns that had cushioned the majority of our fall, mud smeared into the sleeve of his coat. "I'm so sorry!" My gaze darted back up the slope, the crushed bracken and divots in the mud marking our path, before returning to his amused expression.

"You're in worse shape than me."

I looked down and realized he was right, my Converse and the knees of my jeans encrusted with dirt, my back damp with what could only be more mud. I reached a hand to my hair and felt the absolute tangle around my head, my fingers coming away with a fern frond. I felt myself begin to shake and realized I was laughing, too, picturing what a comical sight we must have been.

"You want to cut this short?" he asked when my laughter had died to breathless chuckles.

I nodded, "But how do we do that?"

"Just watch." He gestured for me to lead the way back to the entrance to the watershed. I tried not to blush as we passed groups of students still milling around listening to the volunteers and forest workers, their eyes inevitably widening when they saw Edward and me streaked with mud. I pulled my hood up to try and at least cover the wild halo of my hair, glancing behind me when I heard Edward's chuckle.

Mr. Banner was going over his clipboard but looked up when we approached, frowning as he took in our appearance. "Mr. Banner, Bella had a bit of a fall--" I snorted but he didn't falter. "She might have hit her head. I think it makes more sense for us to sit on the bus until the end of the trip. We're both pretty damp, too."

"Sure, sure. You both got your permission slips signed, right?"

I nodded and Edward replied, "Of course."

"Okay, fine."

Edward scoffed once we were out of ear shot, "He's more concerned about liability than whether you're really injured or not."

"Oh, but I'm not, though," I said, not sure why I was defending Mr. Banner. "You know I didn't hit my head, right?" He nodded curtly as we approached the nearest bus. "You lie really well, then."

Edward shrugged.

"I just say that because--" I stuttered. "Because I'm a terrible liar." The bus driver had opened the door as we approached and didn't comment on our damp, muddy appearances. I could feel my cheeks starting to bloom and wasn't sure if it was because I was babbling, because Edward was back to his usual silent self, or because we were on the bus alone but for the indifferent driver.

Edward took a seat on the last bench on the bus and I hesitated, not sure if I should join him. I was relatively sure he didn't want me to join him but it seemed weird to sit elsewhere. I frowned at how his weirdness was making me weird, biting my lip as I stood in the aisle. "Are you going to sit down?" His voice was impatient, but his expression was mild, the death glare absent as he cocked a brow at me.

I sank awkwardly down beside him, looking straight ahead as my cheeks flushed again. "So you can't lie?" he asked quietly.

I turned to him, confused, wondering where he was going with this. "Not very well, no." His green eyes were penetrating, suddenly intent. I looked down, unable to meet his gaze. "I mean, look at me." I touched my cheek, which felt too warm, still blushing. "I turn red so easily--"

"It's more pink, actually," he interrupted. I looked up, breath catching. His expression was neutral, turning to look out the window with apparent disinterest.

I continued. "Even if I wanted to lie, I couldn't."

"Do you like Mike Newton?"

"What?! No?!" Edward had turned from the window at my emphatic response, a sudden grin curving across his lips.

"That sounds like you're protesting too much."

"Only because it's so absurd!" I sputtered. "He's not—I don't—just, no!"

He laughed softly. "What do you have against poor Mike?"

"Nothing!" I cried. "I like him fine but he's just a friend!"

"If you say so."

I bit my lip hard to keep from saying anything further, fuming as I realized he was mostly just teasing me—or so I thought…it was hard to tell. I decided to try to tease him back. "At least Mike doesn't make fun of my clothes."

I wasn't looking at him, stubbornly staring at the back of the seat in front of me, pretending intense interest in the raised pattern of the dark green vinyl. "My grandmother was pretty stylish, actually." The amusement in his voice was too much and I turned to look at him, mouth agape.

"And you're still making fun of me!"

"I promise, I'm not!" he insisted, green eyes wide and innocent.

I huffed with exasperation but felt my own lips twitching with a smile. "There's no such thing as stylish grandmothers. What does that even mean—a geriatric in a jean skirt?"

"That sounds like a terrible band name."

"Geriatric in a Jean Skirt headlining, with Prada Loving Octogenerian opening."

"Would they play nursing homes?" he asked, mouth pursing as he looked thoughtful.

I laughed. "Absolutely. And bingo halls."

"There would have to be accordions."

"And kazoos!" I exclaimed, eyes wide at the thought.

Beyond the window, I could see students starting to gather, the field trip coming to an end. "Oh, I should probably find Jessica and Angela. They've got to be wondering where I am." I got up, hurrying down the aisle. It was kind of strange to get along with Edward Cullen and I certainly didn't want to press my luck by imposing my company on him for much longer. I hoped I didn't seem rude, though, and turned just before I stepped off the bus, giving him a smiling wave.

He seemed caught off guard by the motion, waving back before he had the chance to think about it.


	7. Rumors

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters and concepts of the _Twilight _series. They are the sole creation and property of Stephenie Meyer.

* * *

**Seven**

It was a testament to my clumsiness that no one pried further when I explained my muddy appearance by simply saying, "I slipped."

We were sitting in the exact same arrangement on the way back to Forks, Maybe-Mike and Eric permanently turned around in the seat in front of me and Angela. As the bus rumbled down the highway, he reached a hand towards my face. I flinched back, asking, "What are you doing?"

"You have leaves in your hair."

"I'll deal with it when I get home." Edward's question echoed in my head, making me reluctant to encourage him in the slightest. "I have to shower anyways," I added, trying to soften the words.

The parking lot of the high school was empty when the buses arrived, classes having ended twenty minutes earlier. "I want to come in late in the morning since we're technically here after hours," Jessica muttered.

"You try that with Miss Goff tomorrow," I laughed, stumbling off the bus.

"I just might, Bella."

"Especially if you've got your triple sugar crack bomb under your belt."

"Hey, just because you can't handle anything stronger than Tylenol…" I laughed, waving at her as I turned to my truck. I was just reaching for the door when I heard steps behind me.

"Bella, wait." I recognized the quiet voice and turned around with surprise. I grimaced at seeing Edward's stained clothes again, the mud on his sleeve embedded in the wool. I doubted it would come out. He stopped short once he reached me, looking down at the ground, almost…nervous? He thrust a hand through his hair and I realized he'd somehow gotten all of the leaves out.

"I just wanted to apologize," he finally said. I frowned, confused. "I should have caught you," he added quietly, looking up.

"Are you kidding?" My voice was incredulous, my eyes narrowed, trying to figure out if he was messing with me again. No…he looked sincere. "I'd be covered in bruises if you hadn't cushioned my fall!"

A smile flitted around the corners of his lips but didn't quite settle there, his eyes glinting. "Any time."

I rolled my eyes. "I know, I know, I'm the school klutz. Believe me, I've heard it before." I smiled, suddenly very glad that whatever tension that dogged our interactions before now seemed to be entirely gone. "I'll see you in class tomorrow?"

Edward nodded, thrusting his hands into his pockets as he turned to walk away. I watched his retreating back as he crossed the pavement to his silver car, suddenly struck with a sense of déjà vu as my eyes took in the rest of the parking lot. Milling students lingered around their cars, eyes turned towards me. The stares, the whispers, the covert glances…it was like the first day of school all over again except now for a very different reason.

Jessica had clearly been waiting until Edward walked away to head towards me, her feet nearly scurrying in her eagerness. I ducked my head, trying to pretend I didn't see her as I climbed into my truck. I quickly turned the key in the ignition and stomped on the gas, roaring off the lot as if I was being chased.

I was breathing hard when I pulled up to my house, staring through the wind shield, trying to understand why I felt so angry. "Ugh!" I exclaimed as I slammed out of the car and climbed the stairs to the porch.

The easy acceptance I'd found in Forks was likely a function of being a small town. I'd forgotten the flip side of that charm, the speculation, the gossip, the complete inability to do much of anything without everyone knowing about it. Clearly, talking to Edward Cullen, who spoke to no one besides his family and the Hales, warranted a lot of attention.

Sighing, I shrugged out of my rain coat and hung it on the hook by the door, then, seeing the mud spattered down the back, went out to the porch to try and shake some of it off. The phone rang as I was brushing at the crud and I swore under my breath, heading back inside.

"Hello?"

"Tell me everything now!" Jessica's voice was nearly a squeak with excitement.

"What do you mean?"

"Edward Cullen, Bella! He was as covered in dirt as you were! What's been going on?"

"Nothing!" What was with this day? I'd have to start carrying around a list of all of the guys I wasn't dating at Forks High if this kept up. "I fell. I took him down with me. There's _nothing_ going on."

"Bella, you can tell me."

"There's nothing to tell, Jessica!"

She huffed in exasperation, then suddenly swore. "Screw you, I have the right of way!"

"Are you driving?!"

"No, of course not!"

"I'm getting off the phone now. I am not going to be guilty of getting you in an accident because you couldn't wait to find out about something that didn't happen."

"Bell--" I didn't let her finish, dropping the phone into the cradle. My jaw was clenched as I strode down the hall to the laundry room, muttering under my breath as I dumped my rain coat, Converse and jeans into the washing machine. I poured in extra detergent and was about to head upstairs to put on a pair of sweats when the phone rang again.

Biting my lip, wishing Charlie had caller ID, I reluctantly grabbed the phone.

"Hello?"

"Bella?"

"Mike?" He had never called my house before but I was certain it was his voice.

"Hey, how are you?"

"Cut the bullshit, Mike." I was too angry to be polite. "You have a reason you're calling so just say it."

"Jeez, Bella--" I exhaled impatiently and he must have sensed it, getting to the point. "You didn't make out with Edward Cullen, did you?"

"Of course not!" I'd flung my free hand up, eyes wide with disbelief. "Is that what people are saying?" Oh, Jesus, if my dad found out…

"I didn't think so. I told Lauren she was crazy…"

"Lauren? She wasn't anywhere nearby when we fell--"

"I figured," Maybe-Mike muttered. "I believe you. I mean, anyone who knows you would believe you. Like you'd go for him."

"How do you know what I'd go for!?" I was still angry and his assumptions were only fanning the flames.

"Well, I—he's so antisocial! And you know those stories aren't just gossip--"

"Oh no, of course not. Not at all like the rumor that I made out with him in the mud."

"Bella, you know what I mean. And he doesn't talk to anyone…or at least, he didn't," Mike mumbled, clearly distressed.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, struggling for control. I knew I shouldn't be lashing out at him. "Mike, thank you for believing me." I exhaled, biting my lip. "You're a real friend." I cradled the phone against my ear and climbed the stairs, continuing, "but I really should get in the shower." Before he could speak, I rushed out, "I'll talk to you tomorrow." I hung up.

It was just a rumor. My friends knew the truth. I knew the truth. That's all that mattered. The phone rang again, interrupting my attempts at a peppy self-talk. I hadn't yet put it down and felt my anger return as my grasp tightened around the innocent object. I answered it and nearly shouted, "I am not dating Edward Cullen!"

"Bella?"

"Mom?"

"What's going on?" Shit. I sagged, my anger gone as suddenly as it had come. I closed my eyes and rubbed my forehead, trying to think how to explain.

"He's this guy at school--"

"Bella, do you have a boyfriend?!" Trust my mom to be excited at the idea. "I mean, I knew that you were hanging out with people—much more than you did in Phoenix but you never said anything--"

"Because there's nothing to say, Mom." I interrupted her stream of words. I smiled weakly, thinking of how I was actually disappointing her by not having a boyfriend. She was so unlike other mothers.

"Then why are you shouting when you answer the phone?"

"Because," I sighed. "I just found out about a rumor. You know small towns, Mom."

Renee's sharp inhale indicated she'd finally understood. "Oh, crap, Bella, already?" She sighed and I could almost hear her fidgeting on the other end of the line. "You're such a good kid, I didn't think you'd have to deal with any of that."

"Neither did I." I had gone into the bathroom when I was on the phone with Mike but knew I wasn't going to shower any time soon now. I wandered across the hall to my bedroom, sinking down onto the narrow bed. "I think the issue is that he's not such a good kid." I plucked at the quilt that was folded at the foot of the bed, my eyes drifting to the window.

"Tell me about him." My mom was clearly curious. I could feel my eyes lose their focus as I tried to think of how to describe Edward Cullen. The annoyed expression that seemed to haunt his features, how his hair stood on end even when it was wet, the way he'd bantered with me on the school bus, his uncertain apology…

My eyes regained their focus and I realized I was staring at the small, brilliant red crystal Alice Cullen had given me on Halloween. I had hung it on a string from the latch of the window and it swung slightly in the draft that came through the old panes. The sun had only once shone bright enough to fracture the facets, sending rainbow prisms cascading along the walls of my bedroom. The crystal had made me wish for sunshine like nothing else had.

"I can't really," I finally sighed, realizing that my mom was going to win this round when it came to silence. "I mean, I sit next to him in English."

"You don't see him outside of school?"

"No, never."

"Then why--" She was confused, trying to understand why I'd answered the phone as I had. I was going to pay for caller ID myself if it was the last thing I did.

"There was a field trip today and we talked for a bit."

She was still confused. "Don't you talk to guys all the time? You've told me about a couple, right? Maybe-Mike, Eric…"

I blushed, remembering my slip up with Mike's nickname earlier that day. It seemed so minor now. "Edward doesn't really talk to anyone."

"Oh." The word was soft and seemed somehow to mean much more. I frowned, wondering what she was thinking.

"It's irrelevant in any case. We're not dating." I sighed, rubbing my forehead again. "I just hope Dad doesn't hear about any of this." Would the chief of police know about stupid high school rumors? With a town this small, it was entirely possible.

"I think your dad would be okay with you dating. You are eighteen, Bella."

"Not Edward Cullen," I muttered, hoping she wouldn't hear.

"Why not?" Renee was too sharp, clearly paying attention with this topic.

I sighed, the exhale an exasperated huff of air. "I've only heard rumors, which I can't think are the whole story," I paused, the image of the quarterback slamming into the lockers flashing through my mind. I shook my head. "And Dad refused to clarify. But I can tell you he'd rather see me date a thirty year old pot dealer than Edward Cullen."

She laughed and I felt myself relax, probably for the first time since I'd gotten into my truck at school. "That sounds like _my_ type, Bella, not yours."

"What is this with my type!?" I wasn't angry anymore but I couldn't help getting defensive again. "How does anyone even know my type?! I've never even had a boyfriend."

"Easy, baby." She laughed. "Just let me know when you do start dating the thirty year old, especially if he's a pot dealer."

"Mom!"

I deliberately arrived at school at the last possible moment the following morning, relieved as I hopped out of my truck and saw the parking lot empty of students. Arriving late hadn't been as deliberate as I'd hoped; for the first time that I could remember, I'd actually struggled over getting dressed. I'd been flustered and pink in the face by the time I threw my hands up in frustration. I eventually threw on my most worn jeans and a thermal long sleeved shirt.

My hair had been impossible despite the hour I'd spent combing out the tangles and leaves the night before. I'd tried braiding it but wisps around my face kept coming loose. The pony tail at the nape of my neck was barely contained by a stretched-out rubber band but I'd been too exasperated to try to find a real hair tie.

Despite arriving to Spanish right as the bell rang, I saw Jessica had somehow managed to land the seat next to mine. She was nearly bouncing up and down in the chair, eyes bright as she tapped her pencil against her notebook compulsively. I spoke before she could, sinking into my seat. "Did you pass up your triple sugar crack bomb in order to get here early?"

Jessica just grinned, turning her curly head to face me. "No, I've been up since five!"

I stifled a groan, then turned forward as Miss Goff began talking, introducing the conditional tense.

"So spill, Bella." Jessica had to whisper but her voice was insistent.

"There's nothing to spill," I whispered back, not looking in her direction. I could not believe this was such a big deal.

"Well, what were you guys talking about?" Her words were nearly a hiss.

I shrugged uncomfortably. "Funny band names?" I offered. I didn't want to tell her about his nervous apology. It felt private somehow.

"Jessica, can you tell the class how to conjugate an irregular verb?" Miss Goff called, saving me from any further questioning. I ducked my head, hiding my smile of relief.

The reprieve wasn't to last, however. After Spanish ended, Jessica was practically glued to my side as I walked to math, words tumbling from her lips.

"I mean, he's cute—really cute, actually—but I'd be so intimidated!"

"Why?" I couldn't help asking.

Jessica looked at me as if the answer should be obvious. "He always looks pissed off, and he's always with his brother and sister—and Emmett's huge and kind of scary and Alice is just weirder than weird. Don't get me started on Rosalie—I think I'd die if I tried to say two words to her…" I took a deep breath, suddenly wishing Jessica felt the same way about me.

"I'll see you at lunch, Jess," I said, turning into math class.

For the first time since I'd started attending Forks High, I was actually dreading lunch. I approached the cafeteria slowly, trying to think how I'd respond to any questions. I kept my eyes down as I pushed through the double doors, moving to the end of the line and shifting back and forth on my feet nervously. I ended up only buying a lemonade, my appetite having disappeared that morning.

"Hey, Bella!" Maybe-Mike greeted me with a smile as I approached the table. I grinned back as I took my seat, grateful he was being normal.

"Hey, Mike."

"You mean 'Maybe-Mike'!" Tyler called.

"Seriously, Bella, I don't even want to know what nickname you call me in your head." Angela's voice was wry, her brown eyes amused behind her glasses.

"I promise there isn't one!" I sipped my lemonade, feeling my shoulders sink as I relaxed.

"You don't have nicknames for anyone else?" Mike asked, bumping my shoulder with his teasingly.

My cheeks flamed guiltily, giving me away as they always did. I ducked my head, taking a swig of lemonade to keep from responding. Mike just laughed and said to Angela, "I think you're right. I'd rather not know."

When the bell rang, I tried to stifle the nervousness that had my shoulders tensing again. I had kept my eyes averted from the table the Cullens and Hales shared for the entire lunch period but it would be impossible to ignore him now. Besides, I realized with a sudden start that I didn't want to ignore him. "You okay, Bella?" Angela asked quietly as we approached the class.

"Yeah," I nodded, swallowing.

Edward, Jasper, Alice and Rosalie were already in their seats. I glanced at Rosalie as I walked in, somehow feeling her eyes on me, but looked away just as quickly. Her expression was absolutely furious, her full lips a thin line, her finely arched brows drawn together in a deep frown. I tripped over my own feet as I approached my desk, startled by her animosity, my gaze blank as I struggled to understand what was going on.

"Hey," Edward's greeting pulled me from my thoughts. I tried to smile but still felt off-balance. No sooner had I felt the normalcy of being with my friends than something new came along to throw my world off-kilter.

I was glad to see, though, that the truce we'd arrived at yesterday was still in place. Edward's gaze was mild, slouched over his desk, the book in his hands forgotten. I didn't get a chance to speak to him as Miss Bloch chose that moment to begin firing off questions about the short story she'd assigned as reading the night before.

Since I no longer had to avoid his death glares, I found myself studying Edward in the periphery of my vision, noticing how his long fingers played with his pen when they weren't restlessly drumming the table. I pushed away the thought that he was even more attractive in profile, the line of his jaw prominent as he tilted his head when thinking over a question Miss Bloch had asked.

The bell rang and I stifled a groan, remembering that Lauren was in my next class. I lingered as I packed up my books and folders, trying to take as long as possible. When I rose from my desk, I gasped as I saw that Edward was leaning against the frame of the door. His green eyes were intent as he looked at me, his hands shoved into his pockets. "Do you think you'd be able to talk after school?"

His words were abrupt and I felt my heart lurch, wondering what I'd done now. I combed my memories, trying to think of anything I might have said in class that Alice could have turned into an unflattering nickname.

"Bella?"

I blinked, not realizing I hadn't answered. "Sorry…"

"You can't?" he was surprised, his expression faltering.

"No! I can, of course." I wanted to ask him why but he looked distracted, scanning the hall beyond the door as he ran a hand through his hair.

"I'll meet you at your locker," he said over his shoulder, already turning away. I watched his retreating back for a moment, blushing as I realized he had on a different coat. I wondered if I should offer to pay for drycleaning.

Jessica launched herself at me the moment gym started, bouncing up and down at my side. "Let's make sure to get on a rotation that takes us as far from Lauren as possible," she whispered, grabbing my hand.

I let her drag me across the waxed floors, looking over my shoulder for Lauren. She was standing near the doors to the locker room, her ash blond hair pulled into a high pony tail, her lips set in a wide grin as she shoved a piece of gum into her mouth. I resisted the urge to ask what she might have said, turning back to Jessica with a resigned expression. Mike had already told me enough and there wasn't anything I could do about it.

I was grateful when the class ended, changing back into my jeans and top with sluggish hands. Just as I was thinking the day hadn't gone as badly as I might have thought, I heard a high pitched giggle from the other side of the locker room. One of Lauren's minions wasn't even bothering to refrain from staring, her hand held up to hide her exaggerated whisper.

I slammed the gym locker shut, slung my bag over my shoulder, and stormed out of the room. I was still muttering angrily under my breath as I approached my school locker. I didn't need any of my books but I'd stowed my rain coat at the beginning of the day. I pulled it on, still grumbling, wishing I could give Lauren a piece of my mind but knowing it would only make things worse.

"Bella?"

I choked on a swear word, spinning around to find Edward looking at me with concern. "God, I completely forgot you were meeting me here!" I had a hand at my throat, trying to catch my breath. "How do you do that?" I asked, looking away as his expression shifted from concerned to amused.

"Do what?" He was definitely amused.

"Appear out of thin air!"

"It's not my fault you're always lost in thought." He stared down at me. "It sounded like angry thoughts this time."

I caught my lip in my teeth, not sure how to respond. "Did you want to talk about the project?' I asked, changing the subject.

A frown crossed his face and he shook his head. "No, I wanted to apologize."

It was my turn to frown, confused. Edward looked away, gazing down the now empty halls. "I feel like I'm always apologizing to you," he said so quietly I almost wasn't sure I'd heard it. "I," he started, then hesitated, turning his gaze back to me. "I've heard some of the rumors. And I'm sorry about that."

My frown only deepened, my chest tightening with anger. The words burst from my lips before I had time to think. "Why should you be sorry?!"

Edward looked startled, his gaze uncertain. I continued when he didn't speak, not caring that I was too loud, my tone beyond frustrated. "You have no reason to be sorry. It's not your fault that people are gossips and don't have anything better to talk about. And it's certainly not your fault that even when they're told the truth, they keep prying and speculating." I exhaled loudly, eyes flashing. "So don't be sorry."

Edward never reacted how I expected, his startled expression transforming into one of mirth. When he was certain I was finished, he finally spoke, a smile twitching around his lips. "You've got a bit of a temper, don't you?"

"If this was Phoenix, this wouldn't have happened."

"If this was Phoenix, I wouldn't have met you," he pointed out.

"You know what I mean." My frustration wasn't sincere, though, knowing he was being deliberately obtuse. "This is such a small town."

He nodded. "Oh, I know." I felt like he wanted to go on but I didn't press him, instead turning towards the exit.

"I should get going." I nodded towards the doors. "Are you heading out, too?"

Edward nodded but looked uncertain again, a frown flitting across his brow. After a moment, he settled into step beside me, hands shoved in his pockets as we exited the school side by side. It had started to rain and I could see his silver car, a Volvo, parked across the lot from my truck. I pulled my hood up, then had to lean my head back to see his face, grinning at how silly I must look, like a blinkered horse. "See you in class."

He nodded again, smiling back.


	8. First Cut

**Thank you to everyone who has added _Nicknames & Rumors_ to their faves/alerts and to everyone who's reviewed!**

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters and concepts of the _Twilight _series. They are the sole creation and property of Stephenie Meyer.

* * *

**Eight**

As Edward and I failed to engage in make-out sessions in the hallways, the speculations and rumors gradually faded. Jessica still occasionally gave me penetrating glances but she knew the subject irritated me and had stopped asking questions after the first days following the field trip.

Her quizzical looks tended to return any time she caught me casually smiling in Edward's direction at lunch, or overheard us exchange a brief greeting when I saw him in the hall. It was the Monday before Thanksgiving when I finally challenged her about it.

"What's with the stink-eye, Jess?"

"What?" We stood in line at the coffee stand. I suspected the fact that it was too dark to see clearly had given me the courage to ask the question that had been bothering me for more than a week. The sun now set at half past four and didn't rise until almost eight.

"You always look at me crazy when I say 'hi' to Edward." I shivered, my breath visible before my lips as I spoke. The temperature had dropped drastically over the weekend and it felt like winter had finally arrived. While I'd bought a rain coat before moving from Phoenix, I hadn't thought anything heavier would be necessary. That assumption seemed stupid now.

"Well, Bella," Jessica replied slowly and I could feel her looking at me in the early morning gloom. "It's not like he's thawed out to anyone else. He still only talks to his family, the Hales and you."

I bit my lip, knowing this was true. I couldn't respond as we'd reached the barista, his neck swaddled in a thick scarf, a knit hat perched on his head. I ordered tea and was glad the drink took no time to make, removing my gloves and wrapping my hands around the hot paper cup.

We headed away from the stand after Jessica got her triple venti thingamajig, moving back towards our cars. I bit my lip, wondering whether to just drop the subject. She saved me the internal debate, stopping and turning to me. "Whatever your take on things, you have to wonder if he sees it differently."

"What do you mean?"

Jessica sighed loudly and took a sip of her drink. A car swung to a stop in a parking spot nearby, the headlights briefly illuminating her face. She looked as if she was struggling with whether she should say something or not. As the lights switched off, the darkness folded in again and all I could see was the pale outline of her features.

"Look, I know you don't think much of gossip--" I snorted but didn't interrupt. "But someone told me that Lauren didn't shut up on her own."

I frowned, completely lost. "People stopped talking because there wasn't anything to talk about…"

"Maybe," Jessica paused again. "Supposedly, Rosalie Hale told Lauren she was going to figure out a way to make Lauren choke on her gum if she said anything else about you."

"What?!" My mouth gaped, refusing to process what Jessica had just said. "Rosalie—why—she—that doesn't make any sense!" I finally managed to bleat.

I sensed Jessica's shrug more than I saw it. "Ugh!" I exclaimed, turning away and striding to my truck. I slammed into the cab and tried to take a deep breath but was filled with too much turmoil and confusion to concentrate.

I set my mouth in a grim line. It was a rumor, just like everything else and until I heard it from the horse's mouth, I wouldn't believe it. Of course, working up the courage to even ask Rosalie for a pencil felt impossible but maybe there was another way…

I was calm by the time I arrived at school, pushing Jessica's words from my mind, forcing myself to remember all the other outlandish things she'd told me that had no basis in reality. I finished my tea while sitting in the warmth of the cab, watching as students arrived and headed inside; with the cold, very few people were lingering outdoors.

Standing in line at lunch, I inadvertently found myself staring at the table where the Cullens and Hales always sat. Alice practically sat in Jasper's lap, draped against his side, her eyes bright as she chattered excitedly in his direction. His gaze was languid, looking down and picking at his lunch while he listened to her talk. Emmett sat on Jasper's opposite side, his plate piled with food, a knit cap pulled down low over his ears. His smile flashed frequently, dimples appearing in his cheeks as he took in what Alice was saying. Rosalie gazed into her compact, applying a deep ruby lipstick that no one else could pull off. Her cornsilk hair hung down her back in neat waves, long legs crossed at the knee.

"She's probably talking about the solstice."

I jumped and gasped. "Jesus, Edward!" I turned to find him behind me in line, a crooked smile on his face.

"Would you like me to start banging pans when I approach?"

"That might help." I blinked, finally registering what he'd said. "What do you mean about the solstice?"

"It's a month away and Alice is probably talking about how she'll celebrate." He shrugged.

I moved forward, realizing I was holding up the line, grabbing an apple and a milk. "Like a bacchanalia?" I asked doubtfully. I knew the Cullens' parents were rumored to be lenient but I couldn't imagine anyone giving permission for a giant booze fest.

Edward grinned at my dubious expression. "Hmm, not quite. Usually it's just a mix of whatever traditions have caught Alice's attention. One year we all wore candle-wreaths on our heads. After the curtains got singed, Esme forbade any rituals that included fire."

I couldn't help a burst of laughter. "Why not just have a typical Christmas celebration?"

His pale features shuttered and I felt my own smile die. What had I said wrong? Seeing my confusion, he smiled weakly. "We're not a typical family."

"I'm sorry," I murmured, realizing my mistake.

"It's okay." He shrugged again, relaxing. "You see how dark it is here in winter. It kind of makes sense that she'd latch on to the day after which it starts to get lighter again."

"I do, actually." I smiled up at him.

Edward smiled back and I was reminded again of how lovely he was when he wasn't scowling. He glanced over my shoulder and said, "I shouldn't keep you. Enjoy your lunch."

I almost called to him to wait, suddenly remembering that I hadn't been staring at his table because I was wondering what Alice was saying. "Bella?"

I turned to find Maybe-Mike behind me, a frown clouding his features as he looked at me uncomfortably. "Yeah?"

"I…" He shifted on his feet awkwardly. "I was just going to see if you needed help with your lunch.

I looked down with a wry grimace at the apple and milk on my tray. "Uh, I think I've got it." I stared at him frostily, wondering if I should point out that what he was doing was ridiculous—but then realized I couldn't really accuse of him of anything in particular. He hadn't obviously interrupted or tried to end the conversation, so I decided to let it go.

I was distracted when I got home that afternoon, spreading my homework over the kitchen table and pulling out vegetables to chop up for a stew. There would be several big tests before the winter break as well as the presentation of the screenplay in English and I was finding it hard to focus on any one topic. And as much as I thought I'd put it behind me, the swirl of rumors dogged my thoughts, refusing to be forgotten.

Pushing up the sleeves of my favorite cream cardigan, I rinsed off the potatoes and carrots and set them on the cutting board. I turned to the kitchen table and flipped through the notes I needed to review for biology, trying to decide if it was the subject I should tackle first. Going back to the cutting board, I grabbed a knife from the block my parents had gotten as a wedding gift. My thoughts drifted to what Jessica had told me that morning, still not quite sure I believed it, glancing back at the table to my biology notes.

"Fuck!"

I had sliced into the heel of my palm, just below my thumb, blood streaming down my wrist. "Fuck!" I gagged as the iron smell of the blood hit my nose, pressing my lips tight as I struggled not to throw up. Hurrying to the sink, I threw on the faucet, my stomach lurching not only at the sight of the blood but the scent that had always made me sick. Oh God, the water wasn't helping…

The room swam and I stopped breathing through my nose, reaching for the towel that always hung from the handle of the refrigerator door. Blood continued to trickle down my wrist and I tried to think, tried to remember when Charlie had said he would be home. I desperately ran my hand under the faucet again but the water only displaced the blood long enough to see that the cut was long and deep, the skin gaping apart. "Fuck!"

I clumsily wrapped the towel around my hand, swearing again as I turned off all of the burners, the kitchen a mess of homework and food ready to be prepped, the cutting board speckled with blood. I knew I was starting to panic but tried to breathe, clenching my fingers into a fist around the towel as it dampened with blood, awkwardly tearing a page from my biology notes and leaving a messily scrawled note for my dad.

I didn't want to wrestle into my jacket so just grabbed my keys, running to my truck and hoping I wouldn't pass out on the way to the hospital.

Holding my left hand high above my heart, I drove with my right, the dark highway empty at this time of day; everyone in town was likely sitting down to dinner. I was suddenly grateful I'd been to the hospital before, having sprained my ankle one summer while running on the beach. I remembered my dad carrying me all the way down the beach and up the steep path to the car. I prayed he wouldn't get home before me, see the chaos in the kitchen, and think the worst.

"Bella Swan! I was wondering when we'd see you!"

"Uh, hi." The plump woman behind the admissions counter clearly recognized me though I couldn't have picked her out of a line up. Of course, why she would be called for a line up was beyond me…she looked like the type who drove everyone crazy by forwarding upbeat emails about baby pandas and orphans rescued from typhoons. Could that be considered a crime?

"I cut my hand," I explained when she failed to notice the bloodied towel I was holding at shoulder level.

"You sure did, didn't you! Let me page Dr. Cullen and get you in a room."

I tried to thank her but the room was starting to spin. I tried to shift my weight to my other foot but the admissions desk tilted in front of me, then tilted back…and everything went abruptly black.

"Miss Swan?" The voice was masculine and soothing. "Can you hear me?"

"Unh…" I felt as if I was pushing against a weight, fighting to open my eyes. "What… what happened?"

"No, don't try to get up. Just relax." I opened my eyes and found myself looking at the most classically handsome man I had ever seen.

"Well, hello," I murmured, eyes wide.

He chuckled at my obvious appreciation and I blushed, heat flooding my cheeks. I ducked my head, mortified.

"You lost consciousness. You didn't lose very much blood but we're going to check your platelets to make sure you don't need a transfusion."

"The smell makes me faint," I whispered, still not able to meet his eyes. If this was Dr. Cullen, I suddenly understood what Jessica had said that very first day of school.

I peeked up, filled with curiosity about Edward's adopted father. He was scribbling on the chart at the foot of the cot, hazel eyes intent. I was reminded of some of the classic movies Renee would watch late at night and thought how appropriate he would look in black and white. His blond hair was smoothly combed away from a high forehead, his features angular and masculine, white teeth flashing as he glanced up at me and caught me peeking.

"You woke up just as I finished your stitches. Seven total."

"Lucky me," I muttered. He chuckled again.

"The nurses seem to be under the impression that you know the drill."

I nodded, struggling to sit up. I glanced down at the bandage that enveloped my wrist and hand, sighing. "Keep it clean. Keep it dry."

"Are you left-handed?" I shook my head. "Good. Do what you can not to use it. You'll heal faster if you can give your hand a rest. I'll have you make an appointment to get the stitches removed next week."

I suddenly realized. "Crap, that means I'll have them in over Thanksgiving!"

Dr. Cullen raised a fine, blond brow. "Were you planning on cooking?"

"Yes!" I wailed, raising my right hand to rub my forehead. "I mean, just for my dad and the Blacks but…" I stopped, sighing, fighting back the tears that were welling in my eyes. It couldn't be helped. I'd manage somehow.

Dr. Cullen had sat down on the edge of the bed at my outburst, reaching out a comforting hand to pat my own. "They'll understand, I'm sure." I nodded, staring helplessly at my bandaged hand. "I was led to believe this happens quite often for you?"

My half-smile was self-pitying. "Did Edward tell you that?"

Dr. Cullen paused and I saw he looked confused. "No," he hesitated, his hazel eyes uncertain as he looked at my face. I knew I must look a mess, wan and tired, fighting back silly tears. "I just imagine your family would understand given this isn't an infrequent occurrence."

I looked away, biting my lip. Of course Edward wouldn't have mentioned me to his father. I was an idiot. "You're right," I finally said. "And I really should be getting home. My dad is probably worried."

"The nurse got a hold of him," Dr. Cullen said smoothly. "I wouldn't want you driving after having fainted. He should be here shortly to take you home." I nodded, again unable to meet his gaze.

He rose to leave. "Thank you," I murmured.

After he shut the door behind him, I leaned back into the cot, staring up at the ceiling with unshed tears. I refused to admit they might be for something other than a ruined Thanksgiving dinner.


	9. A Deliberate Nickname

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters and concepts of the _Twilight _series. They are the sole creation and property of Stephenie Meyer.

* * *

**Nine**

If avoiding attention was my goal, I was failing at it miserably. My bandaged hand drew so many stares that I was tempted to name it. After explaining that I'd cut myself making dinner for the sixth time, I figured a name might at least make the story more interesting. At lunch, I gestured at Tyler on the other side of the table.

"I think my injury should have a nickname," I called once I'd gotten his attention.

He laughed, "I love my right hand but I don't think I'm going to name it."

"Don't be gross!" Jessica cried after nearly spitting out her Coke.

"Susan?" Mike asked, blue eyes narrow with thought. "Or can it be a boy? Stitches are tough—so Tyson?"

"Since when are stitches something only boys can get?" Angela asked coolly.

"If you can tell me another girl in this school besides Bella who's had them," Tyler replied.

"How about Priscilla?" Jessica asked.

I wrinkled my nose. "That's not bad…"

"Sugar Ray!" Mike cried, grinning excitedly. "Or Evander?"

"Hmm…I don't know about a boys' name…"

"Ooo, Tallulah," Angela suggested. "Tallulah Bankhead was pretty badass."

"Who?" Tyler asked, looking affronted.

"She was an actress--" Angela tried to explain.

"Naw, naw, it's gotta be Evander." Mike insisted.

"Actually, I kind of like Tallulah," I said, the name growing on me. I lifted my bandaged hand, smiling as I waved. "Meet Tallulah everyone!"

The bell rang and Angela and I rose to go to English. She was explaining that she and Eric were planning on playing Mr. Collins and Charlotte Lucas for the screenplay project. "But we're going to be graduate students who have never been in a relationship."

"That's genius, Angela." I was impressed.

We entered the class room and I smiled and waved at Edward as I took my seat. His expression didn't change, his gaze fixed straight forward as though he hadn't seen me. I frowned, knowing his green eyes had met mine, knowing I hadn't imagined the flicker in his gaze when I greeted him. I stared down at my desk, trying to deny the sudden hurt that I felt, the crushing feeling in my chest that was making it hard to breathe.

Edward continued to ignore me once class started. I didn't realize how I'd taken our easy camaraderie for granted, his sidelong smiles when Alice would say something silly, the sound of his voice when he agreed with something I'd said, his manner free and easy. Now that I was invisible again, now that I was like everyone else, I understood just how special it had felt.

When the bell rang, I jumped out of my seat, desperate to get as far away from him as possible. I hurried to gym only to have Coach Clapp excuse me from participating, left to sit on the bleachers with my thoughts. Any other day, I would have been grateful for the reprieve. But not today.

Because I didn't have to change, I was the first out of the door, rushing across the courtyard to the parking lot. My breath came in fierce gasps, the warmth forming clouds before my lips, not bothering to zip up my coat, immune to the cold.

It took all of my willpower to act normally around my dad that evening. I reminded myself that I had no reason to be so hurt, that we were just friends and barely that. My internal voice was stern, insisting that I couldn't be upset, that there was nothing to be upset about. So what if he'd ignored me? He was just treating me the way he treated everyone else. I shouldn't have expected the truce to last as long as it had, especially since he had more reason to dislike me over anyone else—I had insulted him and supplied his siblings with a cruel nickname.

It didn't help that because of my hand, my dad insisted on ordering pizza. I didn't even have cooking to distract me, sitting with him in silence as we finished our dinner. "I'll clean up, Bells."

"Okay." I didn't argue, knowing that would bring on questions I didn't have the answers to. After spending what seemed like an appropriate amount of time downstairs, I excused myself, murmuring I had studying to do.

Focusing was impossible but sleeping felt equally so. Even the hot water of a long shower didn't make me feel any better. When I finally turned out my desk lamp, I found myself staring into the darkness, rest eluding me.

I was exhausted when my alarm went off, the room still dark as I fumbled for the clock. I knew I had probably slept no more than four or five hours, sleep coming in snatches that simply didn't last.

I tugged the cord of the lamp on the nightstand, flinching when pain shot up my wrist, the stitches pulling with the movement. I swung my feet to the floor and blinked in the yellow glow, wishing for the warmth and light of Phoenix.

I stilled at the thought. This was the first time since the week of my arrival that I'd wanted to be back home. I frowned, a mix of anger and sadness welling in my throat, resenting the fact that Edward Cullen could so affect how I felt about…everything.

I gritted my teeth as I started to hesitate again over the meager contents of my closet. There was no reason to dwell on what I did or didn't wear—no one, least of all Edward, noticed my clothes. I wanted to scream, ripping a pair of jeans from their hanger and grabbing a cotton henley before heading to the bathroom. Of course, given everything else, my hair would refuse to look normal. Curls swirled around my cheeks, the heavy length wild around my shoulders. I vowed to go to Port Angeles to get a trim as I pulled it back with a frail rubber band before thundering down the stairs.

I threw on my rain coat, grabbed my school bag, opened the door, and froze. The world was coated in white, suddenly bright and lovely with a fresh layer of powdery snow. Though the sun hadn't fully risen, it seemed almost as bright as day with the reflective white glowing from every surface. I exhaled and felt a small smile tug at my lips as my breath formed a fleeting cloud. Squaring my shoulders, I willed myself to face the day bravely.

Despite taking my time on the road, careful in case the flurries of snow concealed any ice, I arrived at school a few minutes early. I hopped down carefully from the truck but my feet slid the moment they touched the ground. I sucked in a breath and steadied myself against the door of the truck, my good hand clenching the handle. I refused to consider wiping out while crossing the parking lot, as if failing to imagine it would make it so.

Grasping the strap of my messenger bag with my right hand, I started to walk towards the front entrance, each step deliberate, hoping the tread of my duck shoes was deep enough to keep me upright.

My head was bowed, my gaze fixed on my feet. When the rubber band at my nape snapped, sheafs of hair tumbled forward over my shoulders and into my eyes, momentarily blinding me. I gasped with surprise, slowing my pace as I tried to push my hair back with my good hand. My feet chose that moment to find a patch of ice, abruptly flying from beneath me. I threw my hands forward to break my fall and gasped as I smacked into the cold ground.

"Bella!?" I couldn't breathe, the wind knocked from me, my vision pinpricked with points of light as my body registered the pain.

Firm hands were on my forearms, lifting me up bodily from the ground. I tossed my head, shaking my hair away from my face, staring in surprise at Edward's frantic eyes. "Edward?" I said dumbly, then grimaced as lightening shot through my hand.

"You must have torn your stitches." He was already leading me back across the lot. I glanced down and saw the white bandage stained with blood. I sagged, my head suddenly light and threatening to float away. He snaked an arm around my waist, bracing me against his side, practically carrying me across the concrete.

"No," I murmured as I realized we were approaching his car. Edward glanced at me, his expression disbelieving and annoyed. "No, not in your car," I tried to insist. If I threw up, if I bled on his car—I'd already ruined his coat. I tried to twist against his side but his arm was like a vice.

"My car is faster," he said through gritted teeth.

"But…if I bleed in your car--" I was still squirming, the motion making me suddenly aware of how unyielding his body felt next to mine.

"It doesn't matter."

Edward opened the passenger door and lowered me into the seat. He crouched down, buckling the seat belt before shutting the door with a soft click. He was in the driver's seat a moment later, his green eyes flickering over my wan face with worry. "My rubber band broke," I tried to explain.

"What?" Edward sounded confused.

"My rubber band broke when I was trying to walk."

"And walking is definitely a challenge for you," he teased. I smiled weakly, suddenly registering that he was talking to me.

"It broke and my hair came loose. It was in my eyes." I sighed, staring down at my bandaged hand. It hurt. "I have too much hair."

"Your hair is beautiful," he said softly.

I turned to look at him but his eyes were on the road, his jaw tense as we approached the hospital.

I knew I was light headed, my stomach lurching at the faint smell of blood in the enclosed space. But I didn't care, speaking my thoughts out loud. "I'm glad you're talking to me again." My voice was faint but I knew he heard me, his jaw tensing, the muscle there jumping.

In the emergency room the nurse just laughed at my woebegone expression, urging me to take a seat while she paged the doctor. Her gaze was stern when she turned to Edward, a plump hand settling on her hip. "Since you don't look like you're going anywhere, why don't you make yourself useful and get her some ice to chew on. It'll keep her mind off the blood and help with the nausea." He nodded curtly and took my arm, his grip firm but gentle as he led me to a chair.

"I'll be right back, okay?" I nodded, gazing up into his pale face, wishing I could smooth away the worry furrowing his brow.

I stared down at my hand, trying to be reassured that the blood stain under the bandage wasn't spreading very quickly. "Poor Tallulah," I murmured, closing my eyes as I fought off a wave of nausea.

"Tallulah?" Edward was back more quickly than I expected, sinking into the chair at my side.

"I named my cut," I smiled weakly as he placed a cup filled with ice in my good hand.

"Not something tougher?" he asked, smiling back.

"You sound like Mike and Tyler," I sighed. I caught the frown that passed over his pale face before his features smoothed.

"Dr. Cullen will see you now." The nurse approached before I could ask Edward about it. I bit my lip. I had a lot I wanted to ask him about.

I followed her down the hall, chewing on the ice as she led me to a room and gestured for me to sit on the cot there. Dr. Cullen appeared a few seconds later, a grin flitting over his lips. "We meet again, Miss Swan."

I sighed. "I guess I'm making up for lost time." I looked away as he took a small pair of scissors and began cutting the bandage away from my hand. I tried to think about anything else as I felt the metal against my skin, snipping at the remaining stitches. "I wonder if I'll max out my dad's deductible for the year," I said faintly.

I felt him pause but didn't look in his direction, not wanting to catch sight of the ugly wound. "How old are you, Bella?"

"Eighteen."

"You don't seem eighteen." He sounded solemn. "I don't know many people your age that are responsible for Thanksgiving dinner, or who worry about insurance coverage."

I shrugged. "You sound like my mom."

He put down the scissors. "I'm going administer some local anesthesia and re-do your stitches now," he warned. I nodded, biting my lip. The room was silent but for the sound of my sharp breathing, eyes fixed on the wall.

"My wife would say you're an old soul," he broke the silence, his voice quiet. I tried to smile, but my hand felt like it was burning. "That's how she refers to our children," he continued, trying to distract me.

My smile was genuine now, thinking of Alice. She was so small, probably not even five feet, her narrow face and bright eyes so elfin and young. "Even Alice?" I asked.

He nodded, snipping the last of the thread neatly. "Especially Alice."

I turned my eyes to him now, openly curious. Dr. Cullen's face was downcast, concentrating on wrapping my hand with fresh bandages. I was filled with questions but knew it would be rude to ask any of them, desperately wishing I knew the Cullens better. "Thank you…again." It was all I could say.

He grinned up at me. "Let's just make sure I don't have a reason to see you again." He chuckled. "At least, not here."

I frowned, wondering what the hell that meant.


	10. Thanksgiving

**Disclaimer: Not mine.  
**

* * *

**Ten**

"Stubborn as the day is long."

"I do what I say I'm going to do."

"Fine, Bella. It's your hand." My dad had given up on trying to convince me not to cook for Thanksgiving. It was my first time spending the holiday with him and I wanted it to be special. Even though there would only be four of us, I had been planning on cooking a reasonably sized turkey and all of the other typical dishes. I'd bought almost everything I needed long before I'd cut my hand and I wasn't going to let the food go to waste because of a little injury.

I was planning on hurrying home after school got out. I figured if I had enough time to prep things the night before, all I would need to do on the day of the holiday was pop things in the oven at the appropriate time. When the last bell rang, I hurried across the courtyard to the parking lot, smiling when I saw Edward waiting on the path.

"You don't have to do this, you know." I had arrived at school that morning to find his silver Volvo parked next to my usual spot. He'd climbed out of the car when he saw me, walking around to my door as I clambered down from the cab of my truck.

"The ground is still icy," he'd explained, walking at my side as we approached the school entrance. He didn't touch me but I'd been hyper conscious of how close he was, inches from my side.

"You can't be there all the time," I'd laughed.

Edward had shrugged, eyes downcast. "I wouldn't want you to tear your stitches again."

"So what, you'll wrap me in tissue paper?" He just smiled slightly and didn't answer.

Edward matched my pace now as I crossed the lot to my truck, replicating that morning's walk. The sound of voices and excited chatter filled the air, everyone eager for the long weekend. The pavement was criss-crossed with footprints and wheel tracks, the muted gray-white surface of ice showing through in spots. "Are you doing anything for the holiday?" I asked.

"Esme usually cooks. It's just the five of us, though."

"Yeah, we'll be only four."

"You're still planning on cooking?" Edward frowned, shoving his hands into his pockets as we reached my truck.

I rolled my eyes. "Please don't make me repeat the argument I had with my dad. I'll be really careful preparing everything tonight. Tomorrow, all I'll have to do is throw things in the oven." His frown didn't waiver and I patted his arm, trying to be convincing. "It'll be fine."

"Well," he finally shrugged, the frown fading, green eyes narrowing with a hint of mischief. "My dad's not on call tonight or tomorrow but I'll let him know he might miss you."

I rolled my eyes again, laughing. "I'll be fine!" With that, I climbed into my truck, waving through the window as he watched me drive away.

Once I was home, I turned on the radio in the living room, twisting up the volume dial as I headed into the kitchen. Dropping my messenger bag on one of the chairs, I pushed up the sleeves of my sweater and started pulling food out of the fridge.

I wasn't going to lie—it was awkward trying to rinse, dice, stir and mix things with one hand. Everything was taking longer than I expected but I tried not to get frustrated, taking a deep breath and reminding myself I could do it.

It was getting hot in the kitchen and I was overheating in my sweater and t-shirt. I pulled the wool layer over my head, then shrieked as my vision cleared. Someone was standing at the back door, a silhouette bobbing up and down in the window there.

"Bella?" I recognized that voice, a soprano trill.

"Alice?" I crossed to the door, tugging at the hem of my t-shirt as I tossed the sweater onto a chair.

I opened the door and saw her pert face grinning at me brightly. "I'm here to help you prep!" She moved past me as though she were comfortably at home, taking off her white gloves and hat and shaking out her spiky hair. "I was knocking at the front but I don't think you could hear me over the music."

"But--"

"Now, don't argue. Edward told me you might do that." I gaped, my hand still resting on the door knob. "You're letting out all of the heat."

I closed the door and turned to her. "I don't understand…"

"Esme said it's about time Edward and Emmett helped with the quails and Carlisle agreed that you probably needed the extra hands more than she did." Alice reached for the apron I never used that hung next to the fridge. The hem of it reached past her knees, the ties wrapping around her tiny waist twice.

"Carlisle?" I said faintly, trying to understand.

"Our dad. I just don't always remember to call him that," she explained lightly, moving to the counter with light, graceful steps. "So what can I do?"

I paused, wanting to argue but also wanting her to stay. I did need help--desperately actually--if I didn't want to be awake until two in the morning chopping up celery one-handed. "Um, do you want to peel the apples?"

"Sure!"

Alice was a force of nature, bouncing around the kitchen, occasionally singing along to the music that drifted in through the open archway from the living room, her small hands a blur as she peeled, chopped, and stirred.

Her sparkling gaze only faltered when she thought she saw me doing too much, stealing a bowl from my hands when I tried to stir the chicken broth into the bread crumbs. "I'm keeping Tallulah out of commission!" I cried, trying to hang onto the bowl with one ineffectual hand.

"I promised, Bella! Why don't you add the celery while I stir?"

I huffed, wishing I could find out who she had promised: her father or Edward? Instead, I asked, "Your mom is cooking quails?"

Alice nodded, a smile crossing the bow of her mouth. "She went to culinary school for a little while and likes to experiment."

"I thought someone told me she was an interior designer…" I frowned, trying to remember the conversation. I never paid close attention when Jessica got going with the gossip.

"She is, but only part time. And when Emmett and I first arrived, she took a year off." Alice's voice was matter-of-fact but I felt a twinge of discomfort, not wanting to pry. "We were both in school and I don't think she realized how bored she would be. I think she felt like culinary school was a way to do something that didn't have as much pressure."

"That sounds kind of like my mom," I offered. "Though she would have dropped out after four weeks."

Alice looked up, grinning. "Kind of flighty, is she?"

"Flighty doesn't begin to cover it."

Alice laughed. "But I wouldn't describe you that way."

I looked up, startled by the observation. "No, we're very different. If I was flighty, too, the bills never would have gotten paid." I shrugged, looking away from the penetrating blue of Alice's gaze. Her expression hadn't changed but I felt strange, not wanting to babble abut myself. "I'm more like my dad, I guess."

Just then, I heard the front door open, Charlie's voice calling over the music. "Bells, is that you?"

"In here, Dad!" There was the audible thump as he took off his boots and removed his holster. A short moment later, he appeared in the kitchen doorway, his shoulders straightening as he realized I had company. "This is Alice Cullen. Alice, this is my dad, Charlie Swan."

"Alice," he said gruffly.

Alice put down the bowl of stuffing fixings and bounced over to him, offering her small hand in greeting. "Chief Swan! I've heard so much about you! It's nice to finally meet you!"

Charlie took her hand, his ears going slightly pink at her exuberant greeting. Alice reassured him, "Only good things, I promise. Bella was actually telling me she takes after you." She gazed up at him, her dark lashes fluttering. "I can see the resemblance!"

Charlie was absolutely caught off guard, any reserve he might have felt dissolving in the blast of her warmth and excitement. I stifled a laugh, amused to see Alice's forceful personality in action. "She's helping me with all of the preparations for Thanksgiving," I explained.

"That's very kind of you," he managed to mumble, his brown eyes darting around the chaotic kitchen. "I hope we're not taking you away from your own obligations."

Alice's laugh was a bell, ringing in the warm space. "Oh, no! I just wish I could be there to see Emmett and Edward trying to stuff quail!"

Charlie's gaze faltered a bit at the mention of the Cullen brothers but he quickly recovered, smiling genuinely. "Emmett plays defense for the Spartans?" The sentence was a question, confirming what he already knew.

"Exactly!" Alice replied. "He'll be lucky if his big hands don't tear the bird apart on accident!"

My dad actually chuckled and I felt a surge of relief that whatever knowledge he had about the Cullens' past wasn't affecting his behavior now. "Well, I'll let you girls get back to work. I'll just be reading the paper in the living room."

"Okay, Dad."

It was dark by the time Alice went home, pulling her knit beret over her messy hair but waiting to don her gloves until after she'd shaken Charlie's hand again. "So nice to meet you, Chief Swan!" She darted out the door, her absence as shocking as her sudden presence. The house felt too quiet, too close, my breathing too loud in my ears.

"Nice girl, Bella. You should have her over more often." I smiled but didn't respond, not wanting to explain that each time she'd been over had not been at my prompting.

"I'm beat, Dad. I'm going to head to bed. I'll be up early though to get the turkey in the oven."

"Good night, Bells."

I slowly climbed the stairs to my room, thinking of all the things I'd wanted to ask Alice but hadn't, trying to imagine a circumstance when I might be able to. I thought that she and Edward were my friends but it was a tenuous feeling, like I couldn't be completely certain of that fact. I turned on the bedside lamp in my room and grabbed a pair of sweats and a tank top from my dresser. I tried to shake off the introspective thoughts as I headed to the bathroom for a hot shower.

The next morning, Billy and his son arrived just as I was putting the apple pie in the oven. "Only Charlie could get a couple of Natives to celebrate Thanksgiving!" Billy joked as Jake wheeled him into the house. He had been in a wheelchair as long as I'd known him but it did nothing to lessen his sense of authority.

"How are Rachel and Rebecca?" I asked after his daughters who I remembered from my summer visits more clearly than Jake. I wiped my hands on a towel as I turned to greet him, bending down for a hug.

"Great. Rachel didn't want to make the long drive for such a short weekend. She'll be home from Spokane for the winter break," Billy began.

"And Rebecca's in Hawaii," Jake added. "There's no way she's going to deal with this weather if she doesn't have to."

"Well, I'm glad you both came over then. And I thought my dad said we weren't calling this Thanksgiving—it's just a turkey dinner with friends." I smiled.

"It'll be better than any Thanksgiving Charlie's had before, that's for sure. I don't think eating at the diner counts," Billy teased, grinning at my dad.

"Hey! Their turkey sandwiches are delicious. Just the right amount of cranberry sauce!" he protested.

They drifted into the living room and I busied myself in the kitchen, fussing with the dial on the oven and repositioning all of the dishes piled in the fridge.

"This is pretty impressive."

I whirled, my hand at my throat as I saw Jake's lanky figure in the doorway. My vague memories of him did not match the six foot tall boy awkwardly shifting on too-big feet. His straight black hair was pulled into a pony tail at his nape, his dark eyes friendly as he looked at me.

"Well, I had help," I admitted, holding up my bandaged hand. "Alice Cullen came over last night and did most of the preparation."

Jake frowned, a look of disbelief narrowing his gaze. "Alice Cullen?"

"Yeah," I frowned back, wondering what was going through his head. "I have a class with her at school."

"Hmm," he sounded disapproving and I sighed with exasperation.

"What, Jake?"

"I'm surprised, that's all. I wouldn't have thought Chief Swan's daughter…" His voice trailed off and I bit back a huff of frustration. I forced myself to look away from the mix of disappointment and confusion crossing his face. I thought, not for the first time, how small town's were simply impossible, fixating on things that wouldn't have gotten any attention in a city. I wanted to say as much but I knew Jake wasn't the problem, that his judgment was just a symptom of something much bigger.

I turned away, not wanting to hear anymore.

"They have a reputation, that's all." Jake's voice was insistent, as if he thought he was telling me something for my own good.

"Even down on the reservation." I laughed bitterly, not turning around to face him. My hands clenched into fists and I tried to force myself to relax.

"Especially down on the reservation." He paused then added apologetically, "I guess the girl wasn't involved in it, though."

"What do you mean?" I opened the fridge, still not looking at him, not wanting to give away my curiosity. Jake shifted, coming into the kitchen and sitting down at the table.

"Well, I'm not supposed to say…"

I pulled out a pitcher of juice, my back still to him. "She's my friend, Jake." I hoped that was true. "Like I'm going to tell anyone."

There was no sound other than the slosh of juice being poured into a glass. I bit my lip, resisting the urge to break the silence. Jake finally spoke as I took a sip. "The guys used to drag race some of the older kids." His voice was a mutter.

I turned around, wanting to be sure I'd heard him correctly. Billy and Charlie's voices called from the living room, berating the football players on the television. "Drag race?" I asked quietly.

Jake squirmed uncomfortably in his chair. "Yeah, one of them drives some gray European car and the other one has this souped-up Jeep." I nodded. I had only seen Emmett's car in the parking lot at school a handful of times; they all usually carpooled with Edward. "A lot of the guys on the res are into cars—you know, like how I rebuilt your truck." I nodded again, hoping my expression was encouraging as I listened to him. "There's this stretch of road near First Beach where they'd drag race. The Cullens found out about it and used to come."

He squirmed again, glancing worriedly towards the living room. "But they don't go anymore?" I prompted.

"There was an accident," he said quietly, his dark eyes dropping from mine. "Some people said Sam was forced off the road. Guys who were there said it was too wet, that it was bound to happen." I felt my eyes widen, the blood draining from my face. I grasped the counter behind me, trying to steady myself.

Jake looked up, sensing my distress. "Sam wasn't hurt that bad—a concussion, a broken arm. Because no one was supposed to be drag racing, there weren't any charges pressed." He paused, his lips twisting with a grimace. "But the Cullens don't go to the reservation anymore."

"Who was driving?" I choked out the words, uncaring if I gave away my interest.

Jake's gaze was suddenly hard, understanding why it mattered to me. "Edward," he bit out.


	11. Doubts, An Invitation

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the characters and concepts of the _Twilight _series. They are the sole creation and property of Stephenie Meyer.

* * *

**Eleven**

It was fortunate that Thanksgiving provided days worth of leftovers because the sky opened up the following Sunday and dumped nearly half a foot of snow on the ground. I was staring out the window morosely, grappling with my thoughts, half-formed emotions that wouldn't come to the surface. I knew I didn't have the whole picture, knew that what Jake had told me sounded more like an accident than anything else—a reckless thing that had ended badly—but I didn't understand why I cared so much in the first place.

I had been planning to go into town and shop for groceries but even with the snow chains Charlie had put on the truck, I didn't want to risk it. I hadn't ever experienced this much snow before, not even the few times I'd visited my dad over winter breaks. Trying to drive on more than an inch or two seemed like a daredevil move, especially with my injured hand.

So I sat in the living room, gazing out at the winter wonderland beyond the front windows. Books that didn't even begin to distract me from my thoughts were piled at my side.

My dad must have sensed my restlessness. For all of his terseness, he could be incredibly insightful when it came to my mood. "You need boots, Bells."

"What?" I looked away from the window, my eyes focusing for the first time in hours.

"Those little rubber shoes you always wear are not going to cut it in this snow. If this weather keeps up, you'll need proper boots."

"It's a bit late for that, Dad." I gestured at the banks of snow piled against the steps of the porch outside.

"The Newtons wouldn't dare close up shop on a holiday weekend. We can stretch our legs, get some fresh air and a pair of boots for you." He set his hands on his hips, a move that meant he wouldn't listen to any arguments. "I'll drive."

"Thanks, Dad."

We piled into his cruiser and he blasted the heat as we hit the road. I blew into my hands, thinking I should get a proper winter coat as well. Within minutes, we had crossed town and were parking in the lot of Newton's Olympic Outfitters.

Charlie was right about my duck shoes, snow spilling over the edges despite how carefully I stepped into the tracks made by others, my socks soon damp and cold. It was only a few steps from the cruiser to the store entrance but I was shivering and cursing my stupid shoes when I got inside. "Good call, Dad," I said as I stomped my feet, trying to warm them up.

He just smiled and headed towards the shoe department.

"Bella!" I wasn't able to follow, caught off guard by the familiar voice.

"Hey, Mike." He stood behind the counter wearing an orange vest. "Working the holiday weekend?"

He grimaced and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, my parents are slave drivers."

I smiled sympathetically. "With all of the snow, do you think there'll be school tomorrow?"

"There might be a late start but they won't cancel it. And if they did, we'd have to make it up at the end of the year. So not worth it." His blue eyes turned quizzical, pursing his lips. "Why? Are you worried about driving in it?"

I laughed uncomfortably. "Well, I've never had to before."

"You've never driven in snow?" He was incredulous.

"I lived in Phoenix, Mike. I only ever saw this kind of thing on TV." I gestured outside. "My dad drove today."

"Hey, Bells, you're a size seven, right?" Charlie's voice called from the rear of the store.

"I should go find him before he buys me hip waders."

Mike laughed. "Yeah, right."

After picking out several pairs of wool socks, sturdy looking boots that made me feel as if my feet weighed ten pounds each, and a fleece liner for my rain coat, Mike rang up our purchases. "Hey, Bella," he said softly as my dad headed towards the door with the bag. I turned to him, my expression questioning. "If you need a ride tomorrow, just let me know."

"Oh, thanks, Mike." I hesitated. "I should be okay, I think. But thanks."

It amused me that he hadn't wanted to ask in front of my dad. I was smiling when I climbed into the cruiser, despite my frozen feet.

"That Newton is a nice kid," my dad said, forcing the smile from my face.

"He's alright," I said abruptly. Is that what people thought my type was? I stifled a grimace at the thought of Mike in any romantic sense of the word. I instantly felt guilty for the unkind reaction but I just couldn't help it. Luckily, Charlie didn't say anything further and the rest of the ride passed in comfortable silence.

Mike ended up being correct about school the following day. I turned on the radio first thing to find out if there were any late starts or cancellations but the announcer stated schools were operating at normal hours. I got dressed with a sigh, piling on the layers—a thermal beneath my favorite cardigan, long socks under my jeans.

As usual, Charlie was long gone. He'd warned me that things were likely to be busier than usual with fender benders and other incidents resulting from the snow. I thought of him as I tucked my jeans into the heavy boots we'd bought the day before.

The sky was beginning to lighten as I carefully turned into the school parking lot, the concrete plowed and cleared. I saw Emmett's Jeep pull in directly behind me, music blasting audibly from the vehicle. As I switched off the engine, I glimpsed Emmett's curly head bobbing to the beat as he slid in to the spot next to my truck.

I lingered in the cab, not wanting to leave the warmth of the truck, not quite ready for the day to start. I watched as Emmett jumped out and pushed the driver's seat forward, calling loudly, "Get your fine bod out here, Rosalie Hale!" Edward climbed out of the passenger seat, wryly smiling. His eyes met mine and he approached the door of the cab.

He raised his voice so I could hear him. "You waiting for me?"

For a brief instant, I told myself he sounded almost flirtatious; in nearly the same second that the thought occurred to me, I realized how ludicrous it was and felt a tell-tale blush rushing to my cheeks. I opened the door quickly, looking away as I reached back to the passenger seat to grab my bag. "It's cold out," I mumbled dumbly.

"Is the heating in your truck broken?" Edward actually sounded concerned, catching me off guard again as I slid out of the cab.

"No, it works fine." I wasn't sure why I felt so defensive. I glanced over at the Jeep, suddenly self-conscious as I watched Rosalie tug needlessly at her clothes. She looked amazing as always, her shapely figure garbed in jeans that hugged her legs, the caramel color of her puffy coat bringing out the honey tones of her hair. Even the fuzzy boots on her feet made her look like some kind of glamorous snow bunny; on anyone else they would have looked ridiculous.

Alice was equally adorable, leaning on Jasper's arm as she whispered in his ear, her spiky hair framing her face beneath the bright white of her knit beret. Her dainty form was gamine in black pants and black Wellingtons, a miniature, manic Audrey Hepburn ready for the winter weather.

"What's the matter?" Edward's voice was quiet, somehow sensing my sudden failing confidence. I stared down at my heavy boots and the simple rain coat I wore nearly every day.

"Nothing. I should get to class." I turned, heading towards the entrance of the school. Like last week, he was close by my side, a protective shadow. I could feel the eyes of other arriving students on us and muttered under my breath, "You really don't have to do this."

"I don't mind," he said lightly.

At that moment, the toe of my boot caught on the curb. Edward's hand was on my upper arm before I'd even fully stumbled, a soft laugh sounding in my ear. "And you shouldn't mind," he added quietly.

Flushing red, I pulled my arm free and hurried away, suddenly annoyed though I wasn't sure why.

Jessica managed to convince the girl sitting next to me to switch with her when she arrived, her eyes wide as she breathlessly turned to me. "Are you ready to tell me what's going on yet?"

Still flushed, unable to understand why I felt so angry, I turned to her with confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I heard Edward Cullen took you to the hospital last week! Why didn't you tell me?!"

"Because, Jessica. As usual, there was nothing to tell." My exasperation was evident, my face getting even hotter. She just stared at me, her expression utterly disbelieving. "I fell in the parking lot before school and tore my stitches. He happened to be there and insisted on taking me to the emergency room." I felt the color beginning to fade from my cheeks as I recalled that morning. He was just being helpful, caught up in the constant accident that was my life.

Miss Goff was starting class, saving me from any further cross-examination. When the bell rang, signaling the end of first period, I hurried from the room before Jessica could question me further. I was suddenly desperate not to have to discuss the subject anymore.

As I tuned in and out of math, I realized I was so self-conscious while watching the Hales and Cullens arrive at school because I so obviously didn't fit in with them. Alice and Rosalie were stylish, the subtle wealth of their clothes setting them apart from the rest of the students. Though I'd spent time with Alice, it had always been outside of school. I realized I couldn't even picture myself at her side, walking down the hall or chatting over lunch. It was like trying to picture a glorious peacock hanging out with a dull pigeon.

That had never bothered me before and my frustration stemmed from the fact that I felt self-conscious at all. I simply wasn't used to that kind of doubt, happily content in my jeans and tees, my hair always a mess. I shoved a hank of the offending hair behind my ear at the thought, my cheeks flaming again.

I felt more composed by the time lunch arrived, piling high a tray of food without noticing what I was grabbing and going to sit at my usual table.

"Did you keep from wrecking your car this morning?" Mike was calling across the table to Tyler.

"Shut it, Mike," Tyler groused back.

"What are they talking about?" I asked Jessica. She glanced at my reprovingly and sniffed.

"I'll tell you when you fill me in on all of your secrets."

"I have no secrets, Jess," I sighed. Mike was turning to me, obviously curious about our conversation. Angela spoke before he could form a question.

"Tyler wrecked his van last year when it snowed."

"Flipped it in the parking lot," Mike added.

"Were you hurt?" I asked, turning to Tyler with wide eyes.

He shook his head and laughed. "Naw, just a cut on my forehead. Dr. Cullen stitched me up and I'm as good as new." He pointed at the faint line over his brow.

"Does J.K. Rowling know you're trying to steal her story?" I asked before biting into my apple.

"That's just a dorky kids' book," he waved dismissively.

"It is not!" Angela cried. "The trope of the prince and the pauper, the ugly duckling who is really a swan…" Her mouth moved but no words came out, outraged at anyone slighting the series.

"Breathe, Angela," Jessica said wryly.

"It's a transformation," she finished lamely.

"Powerful stuff," I agreed, smiling at her encouragingly. I liked Angela. She reminded me of Charlie, content to say nothing, never prying, and never getting annoyed when I didn't share every detail of my day.

"So you like kids' books?" Mike asked me dubiously.

I swallowed the bite I'd just taken before responding. "I like lots of books."

"I was thinking of having a big group study session this weekend. You know, to prepare for finals." He didn't meet my eyes, playing with the pizza crust on his tray.

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah. You should come. Everyone will be there. I figured we could order a pizza, compare notes, maybe test each other."

"That sounds like a good idea," I said, not wanting to commit fully.

"It'll probably be Sunday. Can I give you a call that day?" His voice faltered before he added, "In case there's snow or something and I have to cancel."

"Uh, sure. That's fine." I smiled, feeling nervous despite myself.

The bell rang and I rose from my seat only to find Tyler hurrying to my side. "So when do you get your stitches out?"

I glanced down at my bandaged hand as he followed me through the double doors into the hall. "This Wednesday. Dr. Cullen said after I tore the stitches that I needed at least eight days before they could be removed."

"Oh yeah, I heard about that." I stifled the urge to roll my eyes. "Did it hurt?" We were standing outside the English class and I could hear Alice's voice inside, chattering about Roman festivals.

"Yeah, actually." I frowned, wondering why we were having this conversation. "I was passed out the first time and don't remember a thing. My hand felt like it was on fire the second time."

He nodded, glancing nervously over my shoulder. "Well, I'll see you around."

Tyler hurried back towards the cafeteria though I thought he had math after lunch and should have been going in the opposite direction. I turned around, still confused, and saw Edward's glowering face. I was glad that I didn't jump for once.

"Hello to you, too," I greeted him coolly, wondering what the scowl was for. I was starting to feel like I didn't understand anyone's behavior these days.

"What did he want?" he asked darkly, his green eyes flickering over my face before settling on a point beyond my shoulder.

I laughed, too perplexed by the situation not to feel amused. "I have no idea, actually. To make me remember how painful it was to get my stitches?"

Edward's features relaxed, a smile briefly crossing his lips. "You know, I've been thinking about our screenplay."

"Yeah, we have to present it next Monday," I said glumly, not at all excited by the idea.

"I have some thoughts," he said mysteriously, gesturing for me to lead the way into class. "But I think regardless we're going to need to practice."

I nodded as I took my seat. Alice waved at me from over Edward's shoulder, her teeth flashing with a sweet grin. I waved back before responding. "I know you're right. Just the thought of getting in front of the class makes me want to hyperventilate. I have a feeling practicing will at least make it possible for me to get through it without a paper bag in one hand."

Edward laughed softly, looking down at his desk. "I suspected as much. So I think you'll like my idea."

I lifted my brows, curious.

"Will you come over to practice?" His green eyes met mine, an anticipation there that caught me off guard.

I blinked, startled by the intensity of his gaze. "Sure," I replied dumbly, realizing I would do anything he asked when he looked at me like that. His responding smile was equally brilliant, his eyes alight at my acceptance.

"Uh," I tore my gaze away, grasping for reality, knowing there was something I should be remembering. I frowned, fidgeting with the pages of my book, the thought at the edge of my tongue. "My dad!" I exclaimed, looking up at him as I landed on the complicating factor.

Edward frowned in turn, his features tightening as he saw my consternation. My brow smoothed, wanting to reassure him, refusing to take my acceptance back. "Maybe you could have Alice call and invite me over?" I blushed, wishing I didn't have to be deceptive but also unwilling to butt heads with Charlie quite yet. "My dad really liked her," I added lamely.

Hearing her name, Alice perked up, leaning forward and catching my eye. "That sounds like a plan to me!" She waved her hands excitedly. "We can do makeovers!"

"Alice," Edward's voice was a warning, low and ominous.

"Oh, don't fuss!" She patted his shoulder soothingly. "It'll work out perfectly!"


	12. Rumors 2, Electric Boogaloo

**Disclaimer:** Not Mine.

* * *

**Twelve**

The temperatures warmed over the course of the week, turning the snow into a slushy, dripping mess that left standing water in the most shallow depressions in the ground. As pretty as the swirling white flurries had been, I wasn't sorry to see normal Forks weather return. I didn't want to worry about getting into a wreck every time I had to drive, especially while going to the hospital to get my stitches out; it'd be just my luck to get into an accident when I was finally healed.

"I hear you're coming over this Friday." Dr. Cullen's smile was just that, implying nothing more than mild pleasure. The tension I hadn't known was tightening my muscles dissipated and I sagged, my mouth forming a smile in return. I hadn't realized how defensive I'd gotten when it came to anything to do with Edward. Jessica had been alternating between extended cross-examinations and giving me the silent treatment all week.

"Yeah. For a school project." He nodded, his hands gentle as he snipped and tugged at the angry red line crossing my palm.

"Alice is very excited."

I laughed softly. "She often is."

Dr. Cullen laughed as well, turning my hand to the light and looking closely at the wound. Even under the harsh fluorescent bulbs his blond hair was a rich gold, not a strand out of place. I wondered if he used some powerful combination of mousse and gel or if his hair was just naturally obedient. "Have you been taking it easy like I asked?"

I huffed in exasperation. "Yes. You know Alice came over the day before Thanksgiving to make sure of that."

He laughed again, the sound melodic. "I have to say you're the first patient my family has assisted in recovery."

I smiled and rolled my eyes, thinking of Edward insisting on walking me across the parking lot every morning. That certainly wasn't helping with Jessica's assumptions. "You Cullens are a protective bunch."

His half-grin was heart melting, almost more so than Edward's. "We protect our own."

My smile faltered at his words, unwilling to believe he counted me amongst them.

"I'm going to ask you to continue taking it easy with this hand. It appears to be fully healed but I'd rather be safe than sorry." He seemed not to notice my confusion.

I nodded, accustomed to the admonitions. "I know, I know."

"Alright, Bella. We'll see you Friday."

Alice called as she had promised, her voice an eager buzz over the line. It was like listening to a hummingbird, her words nearly lost in the speed of her delivery. The timing of the call was perfect, Charlie sprawled on the couch as I listened to her invitation. "Hold on, Alice." I put my hand against the mouthpiece. "Hey, Dad?"

"Yeah, Bells?" He didn't bother to get up, his gaze fixed on the game on the screen.

"Alice wants me to come over after school on Friday. That's okay, right?" I didn't want to give him a chance to refuse.

There was only a slight pause before he answered. "Sure."

I put the phone back at my ear. "Sounds good, Alice."

She squealed so loudly, I jerked away from the phone. "So we'll pick you up on Friday morning! That way we can take one car after school. The house is kind of hard to find and it'll be easier that way."

"Okay." My agreement was halting, not expecting that detail.

"Great!" Her voice was so high with anticipation, I was sure any dogs nearby would be howling.

I didn't bother to fight the uncertainty I felt Friday morning, standing in front of my closet in my underwear and bra, biting my lip as I looked at my clothes. Jeans, jeans, more jeans…I'd forgotten about the brown corduroys that were shoved against the wall on a half-bent hanger. I pulled them on, smoothing at my hair with nervous hands, shivering in the cool morning air.

I thought of the gorgeous tops I'd seen Rosalie and Alice wear, frilly, feminine things in colors that were totally absent from my closet. Even Rosalie's sweaters were flattering, showing off her collarbones and gliding over her curves, a stark contrast to the bulky woolen things most of the other students wore. I frowned and finally settled on a ribbed henley with long sleeves. It was a little shrunken but it would have to do.

I crossed the hall to the bathroom, staring intently at the pale, heart-shaped face in the mirror. My brown eyes were wide, my bottom lip red from how often I'd bitten it that morning. I pushed my fingers through my hair, wishing for the thousandth time that it was more manageable. Sighing, I left it as it was, falling over my shoulders nearly to my waist. He had said it was beautiful.

The sound of a car horn from outside told me I was out of time. I hurried down the stairs, stumbling and catching myself on the bannister. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. My excitement would be for nothing if I busted my head open now.

I opened the door, my breath frosting before my lips, smiling as I saw the silver Volvo at the curb.

Edward gracefully climbed out from behind the wheel, coming around the car to open the passenger door. I smiled, biting my lip shyly as I hurried to the car. He smiled back as I sank into the seat, closing the door behind me.

"Good morning, Bella!" Alice was alone in the back seat, excitedly bouncing up and down. "How are you?"

"Great, Alice. Where's Emmett?"

"He's picking up Rosalie and Jasper in the Jeep today," Edward explained as he buckled his seat belt and shifted into gear.

I looked out the window, wondering if Emmett was staying away because of Rosalie's inexplicable anger with me. I knew I wouldn't want to cross her.

Alice's chatter filled the silence. "We have tons of snacks at home. Esme and I went shopping in Port Angeles earlier this week to be sure we had enough to eat. I hope you like dark chocolate. I found these amazing truffles at this little tourist shop on the waterfront there—and of course salt water taffy." I smiled, not bothering to interject that I was only going to be over for a few hours. It wouldn't have mattered to Alice.

The parking lot was filled with students, everyone reluctant to head inside on this last day before the weekend. It helped that for once it wasn't raining either. Perhaps too, I was more self-conscious and the crowd simply seemed bigger.

I felt my heart stutter as I saw Jessica standing next to Tyler's Sentra, Mike and Angela dawdling nearby. I looked down as I saw Jessica's eyes slide to the Volvo, my cheeks warming with an unmistakable blush.

"You alright?" Edward asked quietly under the endless blur of Alice's chatter, smoothly pulling into a parking spot.

"Yes," I said firmly, defiantly, lifting my eyes to his. He smiled brilliantly and opened the door.

Had I thought the covert stares were alarming when Edward walked me across the parking lot, arriving with him in his car was on an entirely different scale. I couldn't help glancing towards Jessica and saw her eyes bulging from her head, her mouth hanging open with shock. Hoping the December air would cool my cheeks, I slung my bag over my shoulder as Edward opened my door, waiting for me as I climbed out.

"You ready?" he asked quietly, his eyes sparkling with amusement.

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak.

"I'm going to wait for Jasper to get here!" Alice called. Edward nodded, not looking in her direction.

We fell into step, side by side, and headed into school. In the main hallway, we both turned, facing each other. The banal words on my lips died as I saw the intensity of Edward's stare, his green eyes unfathomable as he looked down at me. I didn't move as he slowly reached out and touched the back of my hand, his fingers a brief whisper on my skin, before turning and walking away.

I was in my seat in Spanish for no more than a moment before Jessica burst into the room, galloping towards me out of breath. "Isabella Swan!" she bleated. I waited while she caught her breath, gazing at her calmly. "When the hell were you going to tell me?!"

"Tell you what?"

"About you and Edward?!" Anger flashed across her face.

"I'm going to his house after school to work on our English project. Alice suggested they pick me up because their house is hard to find." I lifted a brow as she sank into the seat at my side. "Is that what you wanted to know?"

Jessica's gaze darted around the room, clearly searching for something to say. "You and Edward aren't…" she frowned, her nose wrinkling. "Aren't you together? Everyone's been talking--"

That was the wrong thing to say.

"And maybe they wouldn't have anything to say if people would start believing me!"

Jessica was caught off guard by my anger before she regained her composure. "Bullshit, Bella!" she hissed, leaning towards me. "You cannot tell me there's been nothing to talk about! You guys come back from the field trip covered in mud--"

"I told you! I told everyone!" I exclaimed, throwing my hands in the air.

"Then Edward Cullen, who hates anybody who isn't related to him or dating someone related to him, decides he's going to treat you like a human being--"

"We fucking fell!" I continued as if I hadn't heard her, my cheeks flaming with blood, my eyes blazing.

"Then Ben Cheney says he saw Edward pick you up in the parking lot like something out of a romance novel, sweeping you off in that slick car of his—"

"I knocked him over and we fell down a goddamn hill!"

"And through all of it, you keep telling me there's nothing going on, there's nothing to tell, all close lipped--"

"I probably ruined his coat! I don't think I've seen him wear it once since it happened!" We were shouting over one another at this point, seething and red in the face.

"And I thought we were friends!" Jessica finally burst out.

I just stared at her, breathing hard, unable to respond. I felt eyes on me and turned to see that other students had begun to arrive, gathering fearfully in the doorway. They were staring at Jessica and me with open fascination.

"Ugh!" Jessica exclaimed, jumping up from her seat and storming to another desk at the front of the room.

I dropped my eyes, cheeks flaming with embarrassment instead of anger, suddenly absorbed in my notes. I had barely calmed down by the time the class ended, grabbing my rain coat and bag as I hurried out the door.

The stares didn't let up in the hallway, people I didn't know openly looking at me with curiosity as I passed by. I dropped my gaze, filled with a combination of frustration and mortification, swearing under my breath at the ridiculousness of small towns.

"Now, look!" I stopped, realizing the voice was addressing me. I raised my eyes to find Lauren Mallory standing in my path, her gaze nervously darting around, her expression wary.

I looked at her with complete confusion, unable to figure out why she was talking to me.

"Now, look," she began again, her shoulders squaring with resolve. "I know I was just guessing after what happened at the watershed," she took a deep breath, straightening to her full height. "But now that you guys are out in the open, can you call off Rosalie?"

"What are you talking about?" I asked, my eyes narrowing. I was not in the mood for any more of this fuckery.

Lauren rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her thin chest. "You know what I mean. Now that you and Edward have gone public, there shouldn't be any need for your threats."

I stared at Lauren for a moment, comprehending what she was saying, that the rumor Jessica had told me about weeks ago was actually true. I still didn't know why and suddenly I didn't care. In that moment, I just wanted the whole thing to be a bad dream.

Instead, I drew close to Lauren, my nose wrinkling at the smell of bubble gum that came from her breath. "No, you look," Though she was several inches taller than me, I couldn't be intimidated by her, not now with all of the fury I was feeling. My voice was a soft threat, making certain no one else could hear me. "I didn't sick Rosalie on you in the first place. So she isn't mine to call off." I leaned back, staring hard into her wide blue eyes.

Lauren's gaze flickered with comprehension and I smiled bitterly. I knew I was just reinforcing the rumors by making it clear to her that Edward was the one who had pulled the strings. But I didn't care. Nothing I could say would convince this vicious little gossip that her speculations weren't true. Further, I knew there was no way in the world she'd approach Edward the way she'd just approached me.

I stepped around her, calling over my shoulder, "See you in gym, Lauren."

I don't know how I made it through the rest of the morning, whispers dogging me as I trailed down the halls to each of my classes, my face burning with the weight of the stares aimed in my direction. When I stared back at the most obvious gawkers, they often didn't even have the decency to look away.

When the bell for lunch rang, I couldn't imagine bothering with the cafeteria. Hiking my bag up my shoulder, I headed to the library, eyes fixed on my worn Vans. There was no way in hell I was dealing with the unwanted attention of my fellow students and I couldn't begin to think what to say Jessica.

I sighed with relief when I saw the library was empty. I slowed my pace and shifted past the tables equipped with enormous, dated computers, heading towards the towering shelves of books at the back of the large room. My foot caught in the carpet as I rounded the computer terminals, stumbling and gasping as my hip connected with the edge of the table. "Goddamnit," I said softly before continuing to the furthermost back corner, dropping my bag and sinking to the floor.

I pulled my knees up to my chest, inhaling deeply. For a brief moment, I wondered if I'd lost my mind, dealing with all of this drama and nonsense for…what exactly? My lips pressed into a thin line, a furrow forming between my brows. I was Edward's friend. I wasn't going to stop just because people jumped to conclusions and thought they knew better. I lowered my forehead to my knees, my determination dissolving as I suddenly realized how overwhelmed I felt.

"Bella?" I jerked up, then gasped as my head cracked into the shelf behind me.

"This is _not_ my day!" I exclaimed, reaching up to rub the back of my head as I watched Edward approach.

He smiled softly at my outrage but it didn't reach his eyes. "You're tough to find when you're not with the usual suspects."

"I don't know if the usual suspects would have much to say to me," I said grimly, looking away.

He settled down on the floor at my side and nervously ran a hand through his hair. "Why is that?" he finally asked.

I plucked at the wale of my corduroys, chewing my lip, unwilling to respond. "Did you tell Rosalie to threaten Lauren Mallory?"

I could feel him freeze at my side. I think he might have even stopped breathing. Finally, he exhaled, "Rosalie owes me."

I turned my head to look at him, unsurprised. Edward stared back, unflinching, unapologetic. "I think it backfired," I said wryly.

He smirked and I reached out to slap his arm. "It's not funny!" But I was smiling too, and then suddenly laughing. The whole thing was just so ridiculous.

Edward watched me laugh for a moment but his smile soon faded, a frown crossing his brow. "I'm probably making it worse by being here."

My eyes widened, realizing what he meant. We were both absent from the cafeteria. It could only fan the speculation. I exhaled and lifted my eyes to the ceiling.

"It doesn't matter."

"Bella--"

I didn't let him finish. "It doesn't matter to me what people say. You're my friend." My voice was firm. He stared at me with a mixture of surprise and something I couldn't identify. I looked away, not sure I could finish if I got distracted by his gaze. "You're my friend," I said again, feeling a slow flush steal its way up my throat to my cheeks. "And that's far more important than a bunch of gossip and rumors."

"Or Lauren Mallory telling everyone you tackled me in the woods?" The smile in his voice made it clear he was teasing but I slapped his arm again anyways.

"Do not tell me the things she said. I won't be able to keep from tackling _her_ in gym if I know the details."

"Emmett would probably pay good money to see that."

"I'm sure most of the boys here would." I rolled my eyes, snorting.

"Mike is definitely unhappy with me," Edward added thoughtfully.

"Good for him," I responded unfeelingly. Then, my curiosity got the best of me. "How do you know?"

"I saw his face when I left the cafeteria. I don't think he was glaring at anyone else."

I chuckled, suddenly remembering what I'd called Edward during the first weeks of school.

"What's so funny?"

I looked at him, still smiling, relatively sure he wouldn't be angry. "I used to call you Captain Death Glare."

He looked surprised for a moment then started laughing. "Should I ask why?"

"Oh, I think you know why!" I scoffed.

"I want you to tell me what you thought." He leaned into me, nudging my shoulder with his, insistent.

"You hated me!" My voice was playful, grinning at the thought of it now. "I challenged you on the second day of class and from that moment on, it was all death glares and scowls."

He ran his hand through his hair, looking away. "I never hated you," he said softly, looking down at his lap.

My grin faded, caught off guard by his words.

The bell rang saving me from having to respond. I leapt to my feet, suddenly filled with nerves. "We should get to class," I blurted, snatching up my bag. Edward rose more slowly, his eyes fixed on the floor as he followed me from the library.


	13. Rehearsal

**Thanks to AmeryMarie and Amethice for their consistently thoughtful, supportive reviews!  
**

**Disclaimer**: Not mine.

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**Thirteen**

"Jasper, you stand here, and Rosalie, you sit over there." Alice was absolutely terrifying when she was in charge, whirling around the room, sharp orders falling from her lips as though she'd been born to tell people what to do.

"Quit that bossy shit, Alice, before I kick your ass."

"Love you, too, Rose."

I couldn't help my expression at Alice's dismissal of Rosalie's threat, wide-eyed and disbelieving. Edward, sitting on the sofa beside me, patted my arm reassuringly, his grin indicating this was how the two girls always treated one another. Alice didn't even seem to notice Rosalie, her lips moving silently as she held the screenplay close to her nose and reviewed her lines. "Darling Wickham!" she suddenly exclaimed, dancing in Jasper's direction. "Do buy me one of these pretty baubles!"

Jasper grinned down at his girlfriend, his hazel eyes amused at her antics. "Anything for you, my dear."

We had been in the basement of the Cullen house for several hours, fine tuning our screenplays, rehearsing our lines, and perfecting the dialogue. Rosalie, Jasper and Alice were playing Georgiana Darcy, Colonel Wickham, and Kitty Bennet. The three characters happened to run into each other at a shopping mall, Alice fawning and naïve as Kitty, Jasper dashing and lackadaisical as the scandalous Wickham, and Rosalie wildly out of character as a scorned Georgiana trying to warn Kitty about her fiance's rakish ways.

An enormous sectional in soft cream dominated the basement, an entertainment system on the opposite wall sporting the latest electronics: an enormous flat screen television, several video game consoles, a laptop that was somehow connected to the television, and stacks of movies and games. Centered inbetween was a tufted ottoman in the same cream, large enough to act as a table for the food and snacks.

"Psst!" Rosalie hissed at Alice's clueless character, waving a manicured hand in her direction. Alice turned with wide innocent eyes, a small hand at her throat as if to indicate, "Who, me?"

I had kept my eyes fixed on Edward's car as I crossed the parking lot after school, refusing to acknowledge any of the students around me. He had been waiting, opening the passenger door when I approached, a slight smile on his face. Alice had been nearly vibrating in the back seat, hands fluttering, words tumbling from her lips, beyond excited. As Edward had started the car, he'd leaned close, saying softly under the hum of her chatter, "You have to excuse her. I don't think we've ever had company besides the Hales."

I'd smiled, studying his expresion, trying to figure out what was different. "It's fine. I don't think I've had company besides Alice. So we're even." I'd finally decided he looked hopeful.

Emmett's Jeep followed behind the Volvo, falling back and then closely tail-gating. Edward tapped the pedal and grinned when Emmett's brakes screeched. I had reflexively clutched the handle of the passenger door in fear, recalling Jake's drag racing story and wondering if these two had learned their lesson. "They're idiots," Alice had said dismissively from the back.

The two cars had pulled onto a gravel drive I was certain I never would have found on my own. The property was beyond the town limits, a wide lawn surrounding an enormous house of ivory colored brick. Old-growth cedars towered around, some of the higher branches still speckled with snow.

The garage was easily as large as my house, a third vacant spot indicating Dr. Cullen wasn't home. It was attached to the house, a narrow door opening into what was clearly the main living room. I had been overcome with sudden shyness as I climbed out of the Volvo, watching the Cullens and Hales tumble from the two cars and pile through the door. Edward lingered at my side, his gaze nervous as he saw me hesitate. "I can take you home," he abruptly offered.

"No!" I'd exclaimed, blushing.

His nervousness had faded at my insistence, a wry smile tilting his lips. "So let me get this right. You don't care what your friends think but you're scared to meet Esme?"

I'd ducked my head, unable to deny it. Edward had taken my hand, leading me out of the garage. "You have nothing to worry about."

"You have to listen to me," Rosalie was insisting as Georgiana. "He's a scoundrel!"

"Not my dearest Wickham!" Alice exclamed, shaking her head in adamant denial. I stifled a laugh at the idiotic expression on her face. I wondered if she'd ever thought about pursuing a career as an actress.

Edward had dropped my hand upon entering the wide open living area of the house but my skin still felt warm from his touch. I'd barely had a moment to take in the enormous living room, the east wall dominated by a bank of windows, the west wall almost entirely taken up by a marble fireplace, before we turned a corner and came to the open kitchen.

The woman sitting at the breakfast bar didn't initially notice our entrance, her head bent over a magazine resting on the granite counter, a cup of tea steaming at her elbow. Neat waves of caramel colored hair fell to her shoulders, partially concealing a pale oval face that looked far too young to be a mother. As she looked up, I saw her eyes were a warm chocolate color, filled with eagerness as she spied me behind Edward.

"Bella!" she smiled and hopped down from the bar, elbowing Emmett out of the way as he peered into the fridge. My nerves and fear melted subsided at her casual, relaxed manner, surprised to see her slim figure wearing simple khakis and a sweater. I realized it was the first time someone had greeted me with prior knowledge of who I was that I didn't feel annoyed. "It's so nice to finally meet you."

"And you," I said, smiling.

"Please make yourself at home." She'd glanced at Rosalie and Jasper. "God knows these guys do."

"I don't know why you haven't adopted us, too," Jasper teased as he grabbed a bag of chips from one of the cupboards.

"She might have if Carlisle would let her!" Alice cried as she filled a silver mixing bowl with fruit.

"Oh, you two," Esme shook her head.

"You guys are over here enough," Emmett said gruffly, a bottle of soda tucked under his arm.

"Are you trying to complain?" Rosalie challenged, a fist resting on the curve of her hip.

"Naw, Rose. Just stating a fact." Emmett leaned towards her, kissing her cheek with a noisy smack. He turned back to the fridge as if reconsidering and grabbed another two liter of soda.

"Are we preparing for a nuclear winter or something?" I asked, looking at all of the food and drinks.

There had been a short pause before everyone burst out laughing. "You might call the rec room our substitute bomb shelter," Edward wryly allowed.

"I know I complain about you guys refusing to surface when you're on a video game bender," Esme laughed. She turned to me, "All of the food means you guys won't be coming up for air for a while."

"C'mon, Bella." Jasper and Alice had already disappeared through a doorway leading into the basement, Rosalie trailing in their wake. Emmett grabbed a third bottle of soda and tromped after her.

"I just don't think my Wickham would be capable of such a thing." Alice's lips were set into a sweet pout, her blue eyes tightly closed against Rosalie's words.

"I'm telling you he was after me for my money." Rosalie's tone was venomous as she grabbed Alice's hand insistently.

"She's just jealous, sweetheart," Jasper interjected, walking over and snatching Alice's hand from Rosalie's. "Don't listen to a word she says."

"I feel like I'm watching one of those paternity episodes of Jerry Springer," I whispered to Edward.

He shook with silent laughter, not wanting to interrupt the rehearsal. They'd already patiently sat through our own version of _Pride and Prejudice_ and the least we could do was return the favor.

"Damn, aren't you guys done with this shit yet?" Emmett returned from the bathroom, zipping up his cargo pants as he plopped down onto the sectional.

"Are we offending your literary sensibilities, Emmett?" Jasper asked.

"Jasper, you know I can't read!"

At my widened eyes, Edward whispered, "He's joking."

Unfortunately, Emmett heard him, turning to me with a grin. "Damn, Bella, you think I'm that dumb?"

"No—I—it's just—"

"Just because I don't want to analyze depressing poetry like emo Edward here doesn't mean I can't read."

"I don't know, Emmett. Jasper, have you actually ever _seen_ Emmett read?" Edward asked.

Jasper's expression turned comically serious, rubbing his chin with his thumb and forefinger, pursing his lips with deep thought. "Come to think of it…"

"And not something he could have learned another way. The lyric sheet for a CD doesn't count," Edward shook a finger at his brother.

"Fuck you guys," Emmett grumbled.

"I'm with Emmett whether he can read or not," Rosalie chimed in. "I'm done practicing. Who wants me to kick their ass at boxing?"

"Me!" Alice jumped up, leaping over to the entertainment center and grabbing a controller.

Edward shifted on the sofa next to me, his expression regretful. "Did you want to head home? I don't mind if you stay--"

"That'd be nice." The sentence was so rushed, the three words nearly blended into one. I blushed furiously, looking away from his amused gaze.

Another hour passed watching the Cullens and Hales duke it out at Wii boxing. I refused to play, and no one argued. "Your reputation precedes you, Swan," Emmett declared as he rose from the couch to play the winner of the last round. He swaggered over to Jasper and took the controller from him. "You hear about those lawsuits against Nintendo, people getting neck injuries playing video games, and you wonder how it's even possible. Now that I know Bella, I understand."

Edward's quick response was sharp, "I noticed you said 'hear' and not 'read,' Emmett."

"I _hear_ you wanking in your room alone every night, Edward."

Edward's body was a blur, leaping off the couch and crashing into his brother. They fell to the floor, a tangle of grunting limbs. I gasped with alarm but Alice, Rosalie and Jasper were laughing at the figures wrestling on the carpet. With that sixth sense that mothers seemed to have, Esme's voice rang down the stairs. "Boys!"

That broke it up, Edward ducking and chuckling as Emmett took a last swipe at him. Edward's tee shirt had rucked up in the melee, exposing the flat planes of his stomach. He tugged it down when he noticed me staring and I jerked my gaze away, blushing again. I couldn't meet his eyes and nervously rose to my feet, realizing I had probably overstayed my welcome. Just as I was about to speak, Esme's voice rang out again.

"Oh, no! You guys had better get up here!" Edward, Emmett and Alice exchanged glances before leading the way up the stairs. I put my hands to my cheeks, hoping to cool the flush there, before following behind Jasper and Rosalie.

Esme stood in the kitchen with a hand on her hip. I saw with surprise that the windows were dark with night. I knew we'd been downstairs for a while but hadn't realized how late it had gotten. "What is it, Mom?" Edward asked warily.

"I got so absorbed in this project, the Mittman renovation." She bit her lip, a line forming on her otherwise smooth forehead. "I noticed it started snowing shortly after you guys went downstairs but I didn't think much of it." At the evident confusion we were all showing, she added, "Go out on the porch."

Rosalie led the way to the front door, impatient, her stride long. She opened the door and stepped out into the cool night air. "Holy shit." Her startled swear could be heard through the doorway and Emmett hurried after. I followed more slowly, starting to guess what had happened, a knot forming in my stomach. When I reached the doorway and peered outside, it was as I suspected. Beyond the still figures of the Cullens and Hales, drifts of snow formed against the steps of the porch, easily knee-deep.

As my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I could see that the green of the lawn was no longer visible, everything obscured by the snow that was still falling steadily to the ground.


	14. Confiding

**Disclaimer**: The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. No profits here.

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**Fourteen**

I woke gasping, unable to catch my breath, shocked from a dream I couldn't remember. Panic set in as the darkness resolved into nothing familiar; this wasn't my bed, this wasn't my room, I wasn't wearing my clothes. I lurched upright, a hand at my throat.

Something clicked and my brain started to function, memories of the night rushing back.

As we'd been standing on the porch, staring with mixed reactions at the falling snow, headlights swung into view in the distance, slowly bobbing up the gravel drive. "Carlisle," Esme whispered, her relief obvious. Then, more firmly, "Let's get inside." At Emmett's grumble she insisted, "Come on." Looking at Jasper and Rosalie she added, "I know you both weren't raised by wolves."

"Low blow, Mom!" Emmett cried, flopping onto the loveseat across from the fireplace.

"I think Emmett was actually raised by gorillas!" Alice called, then darted towards the kitchen, somehow knowing he'd chase after her. He flung himself from the loveseat with a growl, launching himself over the breakfast bar as Alice disappeared around the corner. A loud crash shortly followed. Esme flinched at the noise but she didn't look angry.

"Clean that up!" she called. At Alice's giggle she added sternly, "Now!"

"Yes, Mom!"

Curiosity propelled me into the kitchen to find Alice and Emmett kneeling over the wooden bowls he'd knocked to the floor. A gentle hand on my shoulder stole my attention from them, Esme's voice soft as she said, "I think I should call your father."

I swallowed but the lump of anxiety in my throat didn't go away. Esme seemed to understand, rubbing my upper arm consolingly. "It wouldn't be safe to drive in this snow, even in the Jeep."

"We had to dig out the back tires five times last weekend," Rosalie groused. "I don't know why you insist on driving when the snow plows haven't been through yet."

"Babe, it's more fun that way!" Emmett had finished stacking the dishes and came to her side, wrapping a muscular arm around her waist.

"Nonetheless, it's dark out now and it simply isn't safe," Esme concluded. "What's your phone number, Bella?"

Alice rattled it off before I could speak and Esme dialed it into her cell. I felt the blood drain from my face as she listened to it ring. As if sensing my discomfort, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper and Alice trailed back down to the basement. The distant sound of video games kicking back on soon drifted up the stairs. Edward remained, leaning against the counter, his expression worried.

"Hello? Chief Swan? This is Emse Cullen." Her voice was so warm and reassuring that I was almost comforted. My gaze flickered to Edward and I saw he was running his hands through his hair. I'd been so worried about my dad's anger with me, I didn't realize Edward might be picturing equally dreadful visions…probably along the lines of my dad coming after him with a shotgun.

"I'm so sorry we're not being introduced for the first time in person," Esme went on. "I have to apologize as well for the fact that I was so absorbed in a project that I didn't notice the weather." She paused and I could hear the faint sound of my dad's baritone through the earpiece.

"Yes, well, they were in the basement and weren't able to see the snow either." There was another pause as he spoke and I fidgeted, wondering what he was saying. "No, I agree. Driving in this weather would be reckless." Another pause. "I'm sorry to hear how many accidents you've dealt with today." She glanced down at me, a slight smile curling her lips as she listened to him. "We have a guest room with its own bathroom so it won't be a problem at all." I bit my lip, hoping my dad would trust her. "I'll be sure to get her home the moment the plows come through." Esme pulled the phone from her ear and gently said, "Your father wants to speak with you."

I took the phone reluctantly and turned my back, not wanting to see Edward's anxious eyes or Esme's reassuring calm. "Dad?" My voice was almost a whisper.

"Bells, listen," he started. "I know you're a good kid and these things happen." I exhaled, relieved. Neither one of us spoke for a moment and I tugged at the hem of my shirt nervously, not sure what to say. Finally, he gruffly finished, "Be careful."

"Okay, Dad. I'll see you tomorrow."

I handed the phone back to Esme, not sure how to hang up given all of the buttons on the face. She took it back with a smile and then called the Hales to let them know Jasper and Rosalie were staying the night.

After she hung up, a slight frown flitted over her face and her voice was faint, as though she was simply thinking out loud. "Now, I know Rosalie has clothes here but I don't think any of her things would fit you…Alice might have something you could wear to bed…"

"No." Edward's voice was curt, cutting in. His hair was beyond tousled, standing on end around his head; his expression was less nervous though, now that the phone call to my dad was over.

Esme looked up, her brown eyes understanding while mine were confused. "You're probably right."

"I know I'm right." He still sounded curt. Esme turned to me, her gaze trailing up and down my figure, assessing.

"We're about the same size. I'll find you something after I cook dinner."

"Do you need any help?" I asked, my voice soft. I still felt shy around her, despite how kind she'd been. I wasn't certain why I was so desperate she like me.

"I see what Carlisle meant, now," she laughed. "You are not at all a typical teenager."

Edward settled at the bar while Esme directed me around the kitchen, asking me to rinse a bundle of asparagus and a head of lettuce. As she turned on one of the burners, Dr. Cullen finally appeared around the corner, the shoulders of his wool coat damp with melted snow.

"I don't think it's ever taken so long to get up that drive. I wasn't sure the car would make it." He leaned down to kiss Esme's cheek and smiled at me in greeting. "Well, hello, Bella. Are you stranded her for the night?"

I blushed, glancing at Edward. "We were in the basement and didn't see the snow."

"And how is your hand doing?"

"Dad," Edward grimaced. "We're not at the hospital."

"Let me see," Carlisle ignored his son and reached for my wrist. I obediently turned it over, grinning at Edward's embarrassment. "If it were anywhere but the palm, it wouldn't have scarred," he muttered regretfully.

"Oh, it's alright. I have tons of scars. They add character."

"I disagree. Emmett has a ton of scars and no character," Edward replied.

"I bet I have more. Once you have more than five, that's when the character starts building," I insisted.

"Did I hear my name?" Emmett's heavy tread announced his arrival, appearing in the doorway to the basement. He snuck a hand around Esme and stole a carrot from the cutting board.

She smacked at his hand and said, "Bella was claiming to have more scars than you." My cheeks flamed but I didn't look away from Emmett's narrowed eyes.

"Bullshit."

"Language." Esme's voice was soft but ominous nonetheless.

"Sorry, Mom." Then, turning back to me, he rucked up the leg of his cargo pants. "Torn ACL when I was fifteen." The angry red lightening bolt ran down one side of his knee. "JV football homecoming game."

I took a deep breath, willing my gaze not to waiver from Emmett's challenging, amused stare. I lifted my hands and ran my fingers through my hair until I found the raised line above my ear. "Fell off the swings when I was eight. Six stitches." Emmett reached to where my fingers were buried in my hair, unhesitating. I glanced at Edward and saw his ears were pink, watching us with a strange expression.

Emmett grunted when he found the line then whipped around, lifting the back of his shirt. I could just make out a faint white blotch to the left of his spine. "Jumping over a fire pit on a dare," Esme's chuckle interrupted him. "A dare from _Edward_," he clarified. Carlisle, who had sat down at the bar, gave Edward a disapproving look. "I was fourteen."

"You didn't have to listen," Edward grumbled, looking down at his hands.

I pulled up the sleeve of my shirt, struggling to get it past my elbow. "Twelve stitches." Emmett came close, peering at the curving line on the soft inside of my upper arm. "I tripped and crashed into a French door at a restaurant. I was eleven." I blushed, remembering. We hadn't even sat down to eat. "It was my birthday."

"Oh, that's terrible," Esme breathed, full of sympathy.

I shrugged. "It was a long time ago."

Emmett had sunk to the floor and was ripping off a sneaker and sock. "Gross, Emmett. Are you trying to kill my appetite?"

"Shut up, Edward."

He revealed a foot speckled with curling hair and lifted his leg, flaunting the bottom. "Car accident!" Esme whipped around from the cutting board, looking down at her son with open surprise. I glanced over at Carlisle and Edward and saw the same shocked expressions on their features. Emmett was clueless, his grin victorious as he looked at me. I was decidedly confused but leaned forward to look at his foot. The scar was indeed grotesque, a mess of faint dots and dashes, as if he'd stepped on glass.

I raised my eyes and saw that Esme had turned back to the counter while Edward and Carlisle had regained their equanamity, their faces neutral. Internally shrugging, I thrust my barely healed left hand in Emmett's direction, the line there bright pink and raised. "Cooking dinner a week ago. Seven stitches."

Emmett scrambled to his feet, protesting, "You can't count one you just got!"

"Why not?" Carlisle was amused.

"Yeah, that doesn't seem fair," Edward sounded defensive.

"I—I have another," I stuttered. I could feel the blood flooding my cheeeks. "I just can't show you."

Emmett laughed. "No deal, Swan! Why should I believe you if I can't see it!"

I looked away, turning back to the sink where I'd been rinsing the vegetables. "We tied anyways, Emmett. So nevermind." I was sure I was the color of a beet.

"At least tell us where it is, Swan," he cajoled.

"No, Emmett." I tried to sound firm but my voice quavered with embarrassment.

"Please--"

"Enough, Emmett," Carlisle spoke, his tone brooking no argument. Emmett made grumbling noises but didn't say another word. I glanced at Carlisle, trying to communicate my thanks with my eyes. He just nodded, a smile flitting across his face.

Esme took advantage of our large numbers to use the formal dining room, asking Alice to set the table, ordering Emmett to fill up three carafes with water, her manner always so gentle that I couldn't see anyone refusing to do her bidding.

I attempted to disobey her when she tried to usher me out of the room after we'd all finished eating. Pretending as if I hadn't heard her, I began stacking dishes and silverware, avoiding her gaze as I tried to help clean up. She effortlessly disarmed me by simply saying, "Edward, would you take Bella downstairs?" I looked up, mouth agape at the underhanded tactic. Esme just smiled, clearly amused as Edward took the dishes from my hands and led me out of the room. "Nice try," she murmured as we passed her on our way out.

I stared into the darkness of the guest room, my eyes unable to make out even the faintest shape of furniture. The heavy curtains blocked out all light, so different from my bedroom at home.

I laid there for a moment longer before rising with an impatient sigh. I was wide awake, completely unable to figure out the time, and restless with a mixture of anticipation and nerves. I fumbled towards the direction of the door and found myself in a gloomy hallway, the house quiet around me.

Esme had shown me the guest room shortly after dinner, pointing out the pajamas she'd grabbed from her own dresser. The cotton pants were impossibly soft, patterned in a narrow stripe made up of blues and whites. A matching racerback tank was in the same pale blue, an eyelet ruffle adorning the neckline. I'd thanked her for lending me such pretty things, thinking of my own mismatched sweats and tees at home.

I glanced down at the pajamas now but concluded I was decently covered. Besides, no one appeared to be up anyways. I trailed down the steps to the main floor, wondering if I might be able to find a book to read to lull me back to sleep. Then I heard the faint sound of the television.

I padded through the kitchen and stopped in the doorway that led to the basement. The sound of Wii boxing was unmistakable. I glanced at the microwave and saw it wasn't quite five in the morning. Wondering who could possibly be up, I headed downstairs.

The recessed lights in the ceiling of the basement were set on dim but the sight of Alice balancing on the ottoman in her bare feet and pajamas was no less surprising. With wide eyes, I suddenly understood why Edward hadn't wanted me to borrow her clothes. Her tiny figure was garbed in what looked like satin shorts, the color a brilliant flamingo pink. The spaghetti straps of a matching camisole appeared to barely stay put on her narrow shoulders as she jabbed and punched, the Wii controller grasped in her hand.

I stumbled on the last step and Alice whirled, a grin splitting her features when she saw me. "Good morning, Bella! What are you doing up so early?"

"I could say the same thing," I smiled, approaching the sectional and taking a seat.

"Oh, I don't sleep!"

"Alice, that's impossible."

"Well, I don't sleep much," she shrugged and began punching and throwing her fists again.

"That'd be nice," I said faintly as I settled into the soft cushion, putting my feet up on the ottoman. "I sometime wish I could get by on less."

"It has it's downsides," Alice replied. "I was diagnosed with A.D.D. when I was seven." I looked up at her, startled not by the revelation but that she would share something so private with me. "The Ritalin didn't work so the diagnosis was changed to A.D.H.D." She didn't look at me as she spoke, her eyes fixed on the video game on the television screen. "They kept increasing the dosage, but I wasn't responding to normal therapeutic levels. So they added—" she grunted as she delivered an upper cut to her opponent. "—Dexedrine." My eyes only grew wider as she continued speaking, unable to imagine trying to rid Alice of her bubbly, manic energy. It was inherent to her nature. "When I started having panic attacks, I was given Xanax." She juked, her bare feet bouncing on the ottoman. "It was only when I started hearing voices and was admitted to the psych ward that someone questioned a thirteen year old girl being on so much medication."

Alice's voice had been casual, almost light, but my own was a hoarse, emotional whisper. "I'm so sorry."

She turned to me, her blue eyes surprised. "Oh, there's no need!" She hopped down from the ottoman and flung herself to the cushion at my side, curling her dainty legs beneath her. "I'm so lucky, Bella," she said softly as she took my hand. I couldn't believe she was comforting _me_ and looked down guiltily. "Esme was volunteering at the hospital where I was admitted. There are very few people who are willing to take on a foster kid at such a late age, especially with my history."

I nodded. Though I'd just met Esme, she was clearly an amazing person. "Was this in Seattle?" I wasn't entirely comfortable asking questions but given everything Alice had just told me, it didn't seem out of line.

"Yes. I was admitted to Harborview. Carlisle didn't work on the psych unit but he was attending there." She paused, her eyes distant as she remembered. "Esme told him about me. He pulled strings to have me transferred to the children's hospital so I wouldn't have to be around the truly psychotic, people off the street, the whole place smelling like…" Her voice trailed away.

Impulsively, I threw my arms around her. As if it was the most natural thing in the world, she embraced me in return, a soft giggle bursting against my ear. "What is with you, Bella?"

"What do you mean?" I pulled back suddenly certain I'd offended her.

Alice grinned at me, her blue eyes bright as she considered me. "I knew I'd be friends with you the day you called Edward a total douche."

"I wasn't talking about him--"

She didn't let me finish. "But you've even got Emmett mentioning the car accident as if it's no big deal." My eyes widened, my mind beginning to make the connections, why Edward, Esme and Carlisle had reacted as they had during the Great Scar Match the night before.

"Car accident…?" I said faintly.

Alice tilted her head, her smile fading. "It's not my story to tell, Bella. But I--" She paused, glancing up at me. "I can tell you this much. It's how Emmett's parents died."

"And he was in the car," I added softy, my eyes going blank with the tragedy of such a thing. Alice just nodded.

Squeezing my hand, she leapt up, climbing back onto the ottoman. She grinned down at me, as light-hearted as before. "I can only discuss three serious things before breakfast and I'd better not max out my quota for the day." Alice turned back to the television. "Besides, I have a feeling Edward's going to put me over my limit."


	15. Blame Alice

**Disclaimer:** Characters and any familiar elements belong to Stephenie Meyer.

Thanks to AmeryMarie for recommending Nicknames and Rumors and thank you to everyone who added the story to their faves or alerts, or who left a review.

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**Fifteen**

A jostle, the cushion beneath me shaking, brought me back from the shallow sleep I'd fallen into. "Did Alice wake you up?"

The sound of Edward's voice, low and intimate, was momentarily soothing before my eyes flew open. I was mortified to see I was still in the pajamas Esme had lent me, my hands uselessly plucking at the tank top. "Shit," I swore hoarsely, sitting up, disoriented to find myself in the rec room in the basement.

Edward's laughter was soft and I turned to see him at my side, his hair dark and still wet from the shower, his cheeks flushed from the hot water. "I didn't mean to fall asleep," I said with embarrassment, noticing the cotton pants and ruffly top were even more rumpled from having passed out on the sectional.

"It's fine."

"I should get dressed," I disagreed, seeing he was wearing jeans and a sweater.

"Esme made breakfast," Edward said firmly, clearly amused by my embarrassment. "You might hurt her feelings if you let it get cold."

I groaned. "You're terrible, making me feel guilty and forcing me to walk around looking silly!"

"You don't look silly," Edward said firmly, rising to his feet.

I frowned but kept my disagreement to myself. I reluctantly followed him up the stairs.

To my relief, I wasn't the only one who hadn't showered. Esme had on a fluffy robe, her caramel hair in a messy knot at her nape, her features somehow younger without make-up. She moved around the kitchen, pouring pancake batter into the pan on the stove and chopping up fresh fruit as toppings.

Emmett sat at the breakfast bar in plaid pajama pants and a tee shirt, yawning widely, his hand on Rosalie's thigh. She, of course, looked impeccable in white jeans and a wrap sweater, a smile softening her face. Jasper and Alice were dressed as well, busily helping Esme get breakfast ready.

"Good morning, Bella!" The greetings rang out around the room and I smiled shyly, self conscious in my bare feet and messy hair.

"I heard Alice kept you company at the crack of dawn," Rosalie said, popping a strawberry into her mouth.

"I don't know why I couldn't sleep," I answered, glad she was being civil to me.

"It's a strange house for you," Esme said sympathetically as she plopped a pancake on a fresh plate and handed it to me.

Breakfast passed pleasantly, everyone casually eating while standing or sitting in the open kitchen…but I was relieved when I was able to excuse myself to shower and change. I should have known, though, that I wouldn't be left in peace to get dressed.

I stifled a shriek when I walked out of the bathroom and found Alice perched on the bed in the guest room, her eyes distant as she tapped her fingers on her chin. I wrapped the towel that was my only cover more tightly around my torso, staring at her with a mixture of surprise and outrage. "What are you doing here?"

"Esme said I could pick out something from her closet for you to wear," Alice's eyes regained focus and she replied with a bright smile, as though this were the most normal thing in the world.

"But that's not necessary," I insisted, my eyes narrowing with suspicion. "My clothes are perfectly fine."

"They're in the wash at the moment so unless you want to wear a towel for the next couple of hours…" Alice's expression was one of studied innocence, leading me to believe this had been the plan all along.

"Fine!" I exclaimed. "First I'm forced to eat breakfast in my pajamas and now I'm not even allowed to dress myself…" I grumbled but I wasn't really angry, too sated with pancakes for the emotion to really take hold. Alice just smiled brightly, bouncing off the bed and taking my hand.

"Follow me!"

"But I'm only in a towel!" I protested.

"They're all downstairs," she reassured me. "They're planning a massive snow fight and won't bother us."

Still hesitant, I let her drag me into the hall and down a carpeted corridor to the master bedroom. I couldn't help my mouth gaping as I entered the room, stopping in my tracks as I tried to absorb that people actually lived this way.

A massive four-poster dominated the room, a mess of pillows piled on the bed. An antique vanity, the trifold mirror reflecting our figures three times over, sat against the opposite wall. Wool rugs in rich colors dotted the floor, indicating the division between a small sitting area and the rest of the room. Leather armchairs studded with brass tacks faced each other upon one of the rugs, a small mirrored table inbetween piled with books.

Alice seemed unaware of my reaction, crossing to a wall of doors and eagerly diving into the contents. I couldn't move from the thresh hold, afraid that if I tripped or stumbled I'd do something to royally screw things up in this amazing sanctuary.

"Oh, I'm so glad it's back from the cleaners!" Alice exclaimed, pulling me from my thoughts. She whirled to face me and held up a pale peach confection, the sleeves mere puffs edged in lace, the neckline scooping low, a ribbon pulling the waist tight. I stared at her in disbelief.

"I'll tear it. Or stain it. Or something. You can't be serious."

"Don't be silly, Bella." Alice turned back to the closet and surfaced again with a pair of dark jeans that looked far too small.

"Alice," I said warily, not at all certain I could be comfortable in these clothes—not to mention my terror of ruining them.

"Look, Bella," she sternly put a hand on her hip. "Put these on and if you're miserable two hours from now when your own clothes are dry, you can change then. How does that sound?" I couldn't really argue with her reasoning so took the feminine top and too-tight jeans from her hands.

"Fine." I spun on my heel, walking back down the hall and returning to the guest room. It wasn't as if I would be taking part in the snowball fight, Carlisle certain to object given the just healed state of my hand.

Alice was right behind me, nearly jumping with excitement, all sternness forgotten. "Can I do your hair?" She was clapping her hands, blue eyes sparkling with anticipation. How could I turn her down?

Surprisingly, the jeans were stretchy and didn't make me feel like I was struggling to breathe when I zipped them up. I probably wouldn't have been able to figure out the top on my own but Alice managed to tie the ribbon at the waist and fuss with the neckline. She then shoved me down onto a low stool and took a blow dryer to my still wet hair, a curling iron appearing out of nowhere. Her hands flew around my face as she tugged and pulled at my head.

The minute she switched off the blow dryer, I said, "Okay, I'm done."

"But I haven't done your make up!" Alice wailed.

I jumped up, not wanting to give her the chance to argue. "Alice, this has already taken three times longer than I've ever taken to get ready. I really can't sit here anymore." Besides, I was kind of wondering what Edward was up to.

"Fine," she pouted. I hurried from the bathroom, not bothering to look at my reflection. I didn't want to allow her time to change her mind.

I could see even from the top of the staircase that the living room was filled with bright light, the sun unexpectedly shining through the bank of windows. I was filled with happiness at the thought of blue skies and bounded down the stairs, my hand on the bannister to make sure I didn't bite the dust in my excitement. Edward was standing at the window with his back to me but turned when he heard my feet on the steps.

I faltered as his eyes abruptly went blank, his mouth falling open. I looked down at the clothes that were so unlike me, suddenly feeling beyond ridiculous, like a little girl caught playing dress up. I approached him slowly, feeling the blood climbing to my cheeks. "It's Alice's fault," I finally muttered.

Edward didn't speak and I couldn't meet his eyes, my embarrassment growing as the silence dragged on, clasping my hands and fidgeting. Just as I was about to turn and head back upstairs to sit in my towel until my own clothes were dry, he finally spoke.

"Remind me to thank her."

My head flew up, startled, thinking he must be making fun of me. The appreciative look on his face made it clear he wasn't joking, his green eyes bright as he stared at me. "Oh," I responded dumbly. My mouth went dry and I felt locked into his stare, unable to speak.

"You found Edward!" Alice cried from the top of the stairs. I spun around, grateful she'd interrupted the awkward moment. "Doesn't Bella look fabulous?" She danced down the steps, pulling her white beret over her spiky hair.

I glanced up at Edward nervously and saw him nod slowly in response to Alice's question.

"Are you going outside?" I asked with confusion. In addition to the hat, her tiny frame looked deceptively bigger in a puffy blue coat, her legs comically dainty beneath.

"Rosalie and Emmett will gang up on Jasper if I don't!" she cried, vaulting through the front door. I turned, realizing Edward had been watching the snow fight when I'd initially come downstairs. Beyond the glass, Alice bounded over to the three figures furiously lobbing snowballs at each other, breathless and red as they tumbled across the snow. I smiled and raised a hand to the pane without thinking, captivated by the scene.

The drifts were easily waist deep and Emmett had taken advantage of their height by digging out a trench. His curly head popped up periodically, the sun glinting in his damp hair as he fired snowballs at the two Hales.

Jasper and Rosalie weren't bothering with being strategic, scrambling around the lawn, laughing and playful. When Alice joined the melee, Rosalie gave an excited howl and launched herself into Emmett's trench, ready to take up sides. "Alice almost smothered Emmett last year," Edward commented.

I turned to him in disbelief then smiled, trying to picture it. "It's all the Wii boxing," I suggested.

His expression was mock serious. "And the raw eggs she eats for breakfast." I laughed, an image of Alice jogging to the theme music from _Rocky_ dancing in my head. Edward added thoughtfully, "I learned never to bet against Alice a long time ago."

Recalling our conversation from the early hours of the morning, I nodded slowly. "I haven't known her as long but I feel the same way."

"Hmm." Edward crossed his arms over his chest, turning to me with a mischievous glint in his eyes. "So…" he asked. I lifted a brow, waiting for him to speak. "Are you going to tell me about this secret scar?"

My eyes widened and blood rushed to my face. Before I could respond, he lifted a hand, his fingers hovering near the neckline of the top, inches from my skin, refraining from touching. "I like this. I can see just where the blush starts." I inhaled sharply, the flush intensifying, my eyes helplessly locked on his face. Edward's gaze was fixed lower, admiring as he stared at the frilly top. Abruptly, he dropped his hand. "The scar?" he prompted.

I was too dazed to be anything other than honest. "I had a box of light bulbs under my arm and I was carrying a microwave—we were moving. I stumbled and fell against the wall." I lifted a hand, touching my ribs just beneath my armpit where the light bulbs had shattered and broken the skin. The scar was usually covered by the fabric of my bra.

Edward closed his eyes and was clearly stifling his laughter, his chest shaking as he put a hand over his mouth. "It's not funny." I frowned with annoyance. "You shouldn't laugh!" I cried when he didn't stop. He dropped his hand, chuckles escaping his lips. I swatted his arm, getting more annoyed. "Stop it!"

"I—I can't," he laughed, bending double.

"Well, I'm not sticking around to be the source of your amusement." I crossed my arms over my chest and turned, marching huffily out of the room. I turned into the kitchen, truly offended that he saw my clumsiness as so hysterical. I mean, Emmett's stories about football games and fire leaping were obviously a lot more daring and impressive than my constant mishaps—but that didn't give Edward the right to laugh at me!

My arms were still crossed over my chest as I hurried to the basement and there was no way for me to grab the bannister or catch myself when I tripped on the second step. I cried out, eyes flying wide as the image of my body crashing down the stairs flashed through my mind. An arm snaked around my waist, snatching me roughly in mid air and knocking the breath from my lungs. "You're right. This is far from funny." Edward sounded almost angry, nearly as breathless as me, his arm lingering around my midsection.

Then, stepping back, he tightly suggested, "Why don't we sit safely on the couch and watch a movie?"

"Fine," I replied faintly, not yet recovered from the burst of fear or the strange relief that had followed.

The movie Edward put on could have been anything. All I could be conscious of was him, inches from me, casually sprawled on the sofa at my side. He looked so relaxed and I tried to imitate his manner…in reality, I was anything but, my muscles tensing every time he shifted, my hands fisting with a strange, impossible desire to touch him. At some point, Emmett noisily tumbled down the stairs then stopped abruptly in the doorway.

"Woah, woah! Am I interrupting something?"

"No, Emmett." Edward's voice was exasperated and I worried he'd sensed my stupid, weird impulse. I shifted, trying to put space between us without being obvious.

"Well, Carlisle said the main road is plowed so I was checking to see if Bella wanted to go home."

I leapt off the couch, not looking at Edward, turning to smile at Emmett. "Definitely!" I hoped neither one of them could tell I was lying.


	16. Toto?

**Disclaimer:** Not mine.

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**Sixteen**

I imagined I understood how Dorothy must have felt upon waking up back in Kansas, the world not exactly worse, just duller, less rich, the urge to burst into song and skip down the road glaring in its absence.

I knew Charlie was relieved when I hopped down from Emmett's Jeep because he was standing on the porch waiting for me as I crossed the yard, something he had never done before. He lifted a hand awkwardly when I reached his side, gingerly touching my shoulder with an affection he wasn't comfortable showing. He then waved at Emmett in silent thanks though his mustache didn't twitch with any smile. "Glad you're home, Bells," he said gruffly.

"Me, too, Dad."

"Your mom called while you were gone." I nodded and, after setting down my school bag in the entryway, reached for the phone.

"Bella! How are you?"

"Fine."

"Wow, I'm excited to talk to you, too."

"Sorry, Mom, it's been a weird weekend." I rubbed my forehead and peered around the corner, making sure Charlie wasn't listening.

"What's up, baby?" Her voice was genuinely concerned.

"Nothing. Everything." I sighed, frustrated with myself. "I got stranded out at the Cullens last night after the snowfall," I explained quietly.

"As in Edward Cullen?" Of course she remembered. I felt like I could hear her raised eyebrows.

"Yes," I gritted out. Her laughter was like a cheese grater to my confused state.

"Oh, Bella," I listened to her chuckles and giggles with a stony face, waiting for her amusement to die. "Does he like you back?"

The abrupt nature of the question, as well as how she simply assumed my feelings in the matter, completely and totally silenced me. I gaped like a fish for a long moment, unable to speak.

"Bella, are you there?" Concerned again.

"Yes," I managed to breathe. Then, remembering her question, "I don't think so."

"How can that be?!" Renee cried, unbelieving. I thought back to the enormous, gorgeous house, Esme's kind, welcoming smile, the banter at the dinner table, the Hales so at ease, Rosalie's beauty and Jasper's charm perfectly suited to the company and their surroundings…I remembered the day my confidence had faltered and the image of the peacock and the pigeon swam before my eyes.

When I didn't answer, she continued, "Well, he must be blind if he's not interested, baby. You're beautiful and smart and funny--"

"You don't have to do that, Mom." My voice was dull. "It's really not a big deal." I waited a beat then changed the subject. "So where are you exactly?"

Renee paused and I sensed her debating whether to pursue the topic or let it go. "Well, we're just outside of Charlotte tonight…" I sighed gratefully.

I went to bed early that night, a feeling of affection surging in my chest as I stood in my pokey little room. The narrow bed with the quilt handmade by my grandmother, the little shelf piled with worn paperbacks, the old rocking chair in the corner…it was all so very me and I didn't want to feel ashamed for not fitting in with the Cullens. I crossed to the window and stared into the night, the snow sparkling in the weak moonlight that shone from the sky. Standing there, I began to accept that what Renee had so automatically assumed was true: I liked Edward Cullen.

It was enough for now to sit with that knowledge, to taste it on the tip of my tongue, something new and foreign that felt more solid with every passing second. I went through the motions of changing into a worn Forks Police Department tee shirt, sliding under the sheets and staring wide-eyed into the darkness. My mind went no further than processing that truth, unable to imagine anything more, shying away from any thoughts that might give me hope.

It seemed appropriate, given my newfound understanding of Dorothy's experience, that the clouds would return the following day. The sky was bleak and gray, the norm for Forks…but for the one day I had spent at the Cullens.

Charlie stared suspiciously out the windows of the living room, as if his glower might keep more snow at bay. In any case, he shouldn't have worried. Despite the low ceiling of cloud cover, there was no precipitation that day, the drifts around the porch shrinking imperceptibly as the the hours passed.

The phone rang as I was making sandwiches for lunch. I went to answer it and was surprised to hear Mike's voice. "Hey Bella!"

"Oh!" I'd completely forgotten about the study session he'd suggested earlier that week. "Mike, how are you?" I asked weakly.

"Great! Went sledding yesterday with Tyler and Ben. We had a blast."

"That's great." I tried to smile.

"So the study session is on, if you think your truck can make it."

"Um…"

"And if not, I could come get you in the Suburban. It's driving fine now that the roads are plowed."

I looked up at the ceiling, knowing I couldn't get out of it now. "No, that's fine. What time were you thinking?"

"How about three? That way it won't be too late when everyone heads home—wouldn't want people driving after dark."

"Yeah, okay. I'll see you then."

I was worried about Jessica as I drove over to the Newtons, wondering if she'd be civil or give me the silent treatment. It ended up being a non-issue since she was stuck at home babysitting her sister.

"Her folks have poker night with the Howards and they weren't going to stay in just because of the snow," Mike explained. His blue eyes were appraising and I looked at him suspiciously, wondering but somehow not wanting to know what he was thinking.

"Hey, Bella," Angela seemed distracted, smiling gently as she gave me a quick hug in greeting. I was surprised by the affectionate welcome but tried not to show it.

"Angela, it's good to see you." Ben Cheney and Tyler Crowley were also there, huddled around the dining room table with their textbooks and notes. I settled down next to Angela and tried to concentrate, grateful that the conversation rarely strayed from school work.

Mike suggested a break around five and offered to order a pizza for the group. Ben and Tyler heartily agreed, then launched into a disagreement over who had won a sledding race the day before.

"What did you get up to yesterday?" Tyler asked, grinning at me widely.

"I watched a movie," I said truthfully. I didn't want to tell anyone I'd spent the night at the Cullens. With the intensity of the attention I'd gotten on Friday, that piece of news would only exacerbate the gossip and rumors.

"What movie?"

"Uh…" Fuck, I had no idea. "Titanic," I lied, picking a title out of the air.

"I wouldn't have taken you for a fan," Tyler replied dubiously. Angela looked equally surprised. Goddamnit, this was why I never lied. I sucked at it.

"Oh, I'm not." I tried to sound blithe. "It was just on."

"Hmm," he nodded with the same knowing look I'd seen in Mike's eyes earlier that afternoon. I frowned but couldn't define what felt wrong about it. Maybe people were feeling awkward after my very public argument with Jessica, not sure if they had to take sides. Whatever the problem, it didn't make me feel like lingering. I scarfed down a slice of pizza, burning the roof of my mouth in the process, then left as soon as it seemed polite to do so.

There was enough snow remaining on the roads the following morning that all schools were on a two hour delay. I hadn't slept well the night before; I would have been nervous about acting out the screenplay for A.P. English on the best of days but coming to realize that I was also nursing a crush on my project partner had butterflies ricocheting through my stomach. Of course the one morning there was a late start would be the day I had no chance in hell of sleeping in.

It felt strange to leave the house so late for school, shivering into my rain coat as I climbed into my truck. The one positive aspect of the delay was that I was missing Spanish and wouldn't have to deal with Jessica claiming the title of Captain Death Glare.

The parking lot was nearly full when I got there, many students arriving early just to throw snowballs and horse around, playful and boisterous at this late hour. I didn't see Emmett's Jeep or Edward's Volvo and headed into school slowly. The stares and whispers were a lot more bearable with Edward at my side.

The two periods before lunch passed quickly if only because I was dreading performing the screenplay, my hands growing clammy whenever I thought of it. I hesitated when the lunch bell rang, not sure if I wanted to attempt returning to the cafeteria or take refuge in the library. I shook my head as I realized I was leaning towards the former only because I was longing to see Edward. I was pathetic.

I finally decided to go sit in my truck and eat the granola bar I'd forgotten in my coat pocket the week before. After all, Jessica wasn't the only one to make me uncomfortable lately and if the idea of having to take sides was what had Tyler and Mike acting so strangely, it was probably for the best if I just stayed away.

I reviewed the screenplay as the minutes ticked by and took a deep breath when I heard the bell ring from within the school.

Sliding from the cab, I crossed to the entrance and made my way to English. Edward was already setting up the chairs when I walked through the door, his eyes brightening when he saw me. "You weren't in the library," he whispered.

"I was in my truck," I explained just as quietly, unable to meet his gaze. He frowned but didn't reply, turning to Miss Bloch to ask if we could use her chair for the project.

"Of course, Edward! I'm so curious to see what you and Bella have planned!"

The other students trailing into the room were clearly curious as well, staring at the two rows of chairs Edward had set up at the front of the room. There were ten on each side, some facing each other, some facing forward. At the front of the two rows, Miss Bloch's larger office chair faced forward, as if leading the pack.

I could feel my cheeks already going red but when the final bell rang, I gathered my courage and choked out, "If people wouldn't mind sitting in the chairs up here--"

"Everyone?" Eric asked doubtfully, his own face flushing.

"Everyone," Edward insisted.

Miss Bloch clapped her hands, obviously delighted. "And Miss Bloch, if you would sit in your own chair…" Her smile faltered but she did as Edward asked, craning her head around in order to watch as her class awkwardly sat down on our make-shift stage. Edward and I remained standing in the middle of the two rows. He stared down at me, his expression reassuring. "You ready?" he asked quietly.

I nodded once quickly.

"Ugh, I hate the bus," Edward began, establishing what the assembled rows of chairs were meant to represent.

"Come, sir," I replied with a smile. "The bus is a most convenient mode of conveyance."

"Filled with the detritus of society," Edward sneered slightly, looking at poor blushing Eric.

"I would not be as fastidious as you are!" I protested. "Upon my honor, this is the cleanest bus I've yet seen and the patrons are most agreeable."

"You are standing next to the only normal person here," he responded, glancing at Jasper. Though he'd seen us rehearse, Jasper grinned, amused.

"But there are more normal people if you would but consider them." I felt myself relax as I glimpsed a few other smiles. "I dare say the lady behind you is quite agreeable."

Edward glanced at his sister but quickly turned away. "She is tolerable," Alice stifled a giggle. "But you are wasting your time with me. The moment my car is out of the shop, I won't set foot on this bus again."

There was a pause and then a quiet gasp as Alice remembered her role. She dinged the small bell she'd brought to class for this purpose. Edward and I walked down the row and past Miss Bloch's chair as if we were exiting the bus. Alice dinged the bell again and we pretended to get back on.

"I see you are on the bus again," I began.

"I see you are a great environmentalist. You have no pleasure in anything else," Edward replied smugly.

"I deserve neither such praise nor such censure!" I protested. "I am not a great environmentalist and I have pleasure in many other things."

"Such as energy efficient light bulbs?" Edward asked sardonically. There were a few laughs from our fellow bus passengers.

"Yes, and playing piano and reading as well."

"You think of yourself as accomplished, then," he asked dubiously.

"I could only do so if I knew by what definition you mean," I replied warily.

"A woman must have a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, and the modern languages to deserve the word; and besides all this," Edward looked up, his expression comically thoughtul. "She must possess a certain something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions, or the word will be but half deserved."

"I am surprised at you knowing any accomplished women!"

Alice rang the bell and we pretended to exit and enter the bus again. I caught Miss Bloch's wide grin and allowed myself a sigh of relief that it was going well.

I pulled a paperback from the pocket of my rain coat and buried my nose in the pages. Edward leaned forward as if to read over my shoulder, his breath tickling my ear. "Ah," I said as if just noticing him. "I see you here again, sir. Do you mean to frighten me by examining my reading material?" I paused, smiling at him, "I dare say you will be disappointed if that is your intent. There is a stubbornness about me that never can bear to be frightened at the will of others. My courage always rises with every attempt to intimidate me."

"I shall not say that you are mistaken,'' Edward smiled in return, "because you could not really believe me to entertain any design of alarming you."

"I cannot pretend to any knowledge of your designs!" My words were almost flirtatious, fluttering my lashes. "I would not wish to submit to the judgment of a person who finds not one normal or agreeable person on the bus!"

Edward shifted uncomfortably, looking down at his feet. "I am ill-qualified to recommend myself to strangers."

"It is only because you will not give yourself the trouble." The accusation was gentle, my eyes fixed on Edward's face. It was easier to look at him when he wasn't looking back.

"I certainly have not the talent which some people possess of conversing easily with those I have never seen before. I cannot catch their tone of conversation, or appear interested in their concerns, as I often see done."

"Perhaps you should ride the bus more."

The bell dinged a final time and I blinked, my gaze darting from Edward's face as we pretended to tromp off and on the bus.

I stood facing the classroom, my eyes blank with the fifty yard stare that was necessary when riding public transportation. I'd taken the bus a few times in Phoenix but only when absolutely necessary; it was an underfunded system that required two transfers to get anywhere. Edward's hand on my arm pulled me back into the moment, his green eyes intense, the square line of his jaw pronounced as he stared down at me.

"In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I wish to take you out for coffee."

I paused, unable to remember my line for a split second. Then the words returned to me. "Only if you use energy-efficient light bulbs."

Alice jumped up, dinging her bell wildly. The rest of the class stood and clapped. My face was too hot with a tell-tale blush but I nodded at the compliments and praise, gulping when Miss Bloch actually hugged me. "So clever! I'm so impressed!" It took a few moments to return the chairs back to their spots and I was grateful for the distraction. By the time Jasper, Rosalie and Alice got up to perform their piece, my heart rate had finally slowed.

When the bell rang, I avoided Edward's gaze as I packed up my things. I knew I should thank him; the bus scenario had been his idea, a way around having a proper audience so I wouldn't feel as anxious. I couldn't speak to him, though. I was still feeling too mixed up after the revealing phone call with my mom and wasn't quite sure how to be around him.

I was disappointed that he took the hint, having disappeared by the time I looked up. Hiking my bag up my shoulder, I berated myself for being such a contradictory idiot, wanting him to leave and then getting upset when he didn't stay. I was still lost in thought when I crossed the courtyard on my way to gym; it took a few moments to register that someone was calling my name.

"Bella! Bella? Earth to Bella...?"

"Jessica." I didn't hide my surprise.

Her gaze was a mixture of annoyance and anxiety as she stared at me. When she next spoke, I knew I'd never heard her sound so serious. "Can we talk?"


	17. Rumors Trois

**Disclaimer**: Not my characters.

Thank you to everyone who's added _Nicknames and Rumors_ to their faves and alerts. With the story almost completely written, reviewers will now get a teaser of the next chapter.

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**Seventeen**

"Of course." I wasn't angry anymore, the little energy I'd had expended on how nervous I'd felt about the English project. Besides, I couldn't really slight her for calling it like she'd seen it; for all of the truth to my denials, there had been an underlying tension on my part that I'd been too stubborn to acknowledge. I wasn't a pigeon—I was an ostrich with my head in the ground.

Jessica glanced around again and when she was satisfied that no one was within earshot, she spoke. "I owe you an apology."

I stared at her with wide eyes, caught off guard.

"You know, it never bothered me to be considered a gossip." I wasn't sure if she was smiling or grimacing, her lips twisting without any humor. "I never thought I was hurting anyone and I hope I still haven't…" I frowned with confusion.

"What are you talking about, Jess?"

"I just don't want to be lumped in with Lauren Mallory, you know?" She tilted her head, as if willing me to understand.

"You're nothing like Lauren," I replied, shaking my head.

"I'd like to think so," Jessica's voice was thoughtful. "But some of the things she's saying, Bella…It's worse than gossip. I mean," her brown eyes went wide, supplicating. "You and Edward really did fall on the field trip. It's not like I made that up."

Then it clicked.

"Did Lauren make something up, Jessica?" Her curt nod was her only response, clutching her books to her chest nervously. I closed my eyes, inhaling deeply. "Is it bad?" I wasn't sure I wanted specifics.

"She's been saying you--" her voice abruptly dropped to a whisper and I had to lean forward, straining to hear. "That you went down on Edward in the boys' bathroom last Friday at lunch."

"What?!" The word ripped from my mouth before my mind had wrapped itself around what she'd said. I gaped at her, eyes bulging from my head, willing her to take it back.

Jessica's gaze didn't fail, her expression grim and apologetic all at once. In that instant, I knew she was telling the truth. I sucked in a breath, feeling as if I'd been punched in the stomach. I sensed the color draining from my face as my mind refused to process the words. Individually, each sound had meaning, a definition I understood. Altogether, though, the sentence simply didn't make sense, a jumble refusing to cohere into anything.

"But—but—no one believes that, do they?" I finally gasped. "We were in the library," I whispered. But I couldn't recall anyone disturbing us, any other presence to confirm that fact.

Jessica's lips thinned, her pert features still uncharacteristically serious. "Anyone with two brain cells knows it's not true. All the seniors know Lauren had a thing for Edward when he first got here and he wouldn't give her the time of day. The thing is…I think some of the guys _want_ to believe it."

That explained how weird Mike and Tyler had been, their expressions, their attitude so knowing. I wanted to throw up. How would I ever look them in the eye again?

"Then Edward was in the cafeteria today and you weren't…so Lauren was telling everyone he only wanted one thing…and how crazy you were to give it up so soon." The words were an apology as she said them, her expression contrite, eyes pained as she looked at me.

"We haven't even kissed, Jessica!" My words were hoarse, staring at her with horror.

Jessica's expression shifted, her brows lowering as she studied me. After a moment she asked, "Do you want that, Bella?"

I couldn't meet her eyes. Finally, I chuckled softly…the sound was miserable, a bitter burst of air. "I owe you an apology, Jessica." For once, she didn't look wildly anticipatory, simply watching me as she listened. "I never lied to you," I insisted, shaking my head, exasperated with myself. "Nothing ever happened but…"

"But you kind of want it to," she finished softly. It was her turn to shake her head. After a moment, she sucked in a breath, her voice resolved when she spoke next. "I'm going to deny this shit when I hear it, Bella, no matter what. It's one thing to wonder if people are dating but it's some serious _Danger Liaisons_ crap when someone makes things up." I nodded but it was impossible to feel happy that we'd resolved our differences.

"Thanks, Jessica." I looked down at my feet, trying to think, trying to register that this was real and happening to me.

"And even if you guys do hook up, you don't have to tell me." My eyes darted up as she surprised me again. I knew that was a big leap for Jessica and began to understand just how vicious the gossip had been for her to no longer see that kind of news as something I was obligated to share. It didn't really matter though…there was no way it was going to happen.

"Thanks," I said again faintly. Then, looking over her shoulder at the gym, "Can you tell Coach Clapp I'm not feeling well?" She nodded. "I really don't think I should be anywhere near Lauren right now."

Shifting her books to her hip, Jessica suddenly threw her free arm around me. It kind of felt like how someone might embrace you at a funeral. I stilled, suddenly reminded of Angela's hug the day before. I hadn't realized at the time that it had been in sympathy.

I turned and crossed the parking lot to my truck, the sound of my breathing loud in my ears, struggling to comprehend what I'd just heard. Horrifying thoughts tumbled through my mind, wondering if my dad might find out, if all of this might get back to the parents of my classmates--would I be able to go anywhere in town without being stared at, without being judged? I was terrified to even consider what might be going through Mike's head, wondering if his overtures would get more aggressive now that he thought I got it on in school bathrooms. I nearly gagged at the thought.

I was skipping class for the first time in my life but I couldn't imagine trying to do something fun. The nearest place I might find distracting was Port Angeles and I couldn't contemplate an hour of snowy highways to hang out on my own in a seaside tourist town. Instead, I went home.

The minute I walked through the door, I let out a bellow of frustration. I couldn't believe this was happening to me. I couldn't believe that people could be so cruel, so vindictive…and that any of the guys who I thought were my friends believed it was true was too mortifying to bear. I tossed my bag onto the kitchen table and stomped up the stairs, flinging myself to my bed. I shut my eyes tightly, rubbing my forehead, willing myself to wake up, for this to all be a bad dream.

I was tempted to call my mom but shook off the idea. There was nothing she could do from North Carolina or where ever she happened to be at the moment. Worse, she might actually want the disgusting rumor to be true, too. It had always confused her that I wasn't more interested in boys and the one time I'd confided in her about a crush, she'd ruined it by asking me every day if I'd kissed the guy.

Trying to distract myself, I returned downstairs and flung myself into the kitchen. I set about making a huge dish of lasagna that would likely last us for weeks as leftovers. I turned on the television to drown out the silence, the chatter of ESPN a buzz in my ears. I was grateful that when Charlie got home, he seemed none the wiser about all of the drama at school. I desperately hoped he'd remain in the dark.

When I finally went to bed, I lay in the half-gloom unable to sleep. I imagined walking up to Lauren and slapping her in the face. I pictured running up to her like a WWE wrestler, extending my arm at the last second, and clothes-lining her to the floor. I wondered how hard it would be to get a horse's head and how messy it might be to plant it in her bed. I grimaced knowing I'd probably trip over her night stand and wake her up.

I finally dozed off after midnight, visions of revenge dancing in my head.

The next morning, the anger wasn't gone but the desire for vengeance had faded. There was nothing I could do to Lauren that wouldn't simply perpetuate the attention; the more I protested or got pissed off, the more likely people would be to think all of her lies had a grain of truth…and if I was being honest, there was a grain of truth: my silly crush on Edward Cullen.

I made sure to get to school at the last possible moment, the bell ringing as I hopped out of my truck and rushed to Spanish. I saw Edward's Volvo next to my usual spot but my late arrival meant I was parked closer to the street.

"Thank you for joining us, Bella." Miss Goff's voice was acidic as I came into class late. I muttered an apology and took my usual seat at the back.

I was barely able to listen to the lesson, preoccupied with everything that had happened over the last few weeks, wondering where I'd gone wrong. It was impossible to think, though, that my friendship with Edward was a mistake…regardless of the consequences I was dealing with now. I'd gone into it with eyes open, knowing the things people said about him and his family and had no one to blame if I'd ended up labeled the same way.

Frowning, I stared at my hands. The worst thing was, I'd refused to judge the Cullens based on a bunch of rumors and no one was doing me the same favor. Sure, Mike, Tyler and Eric wouldn't protest if I sat with them at lunch, but I didn't know if I wanted to anymore. I was completely insulted by the thought that even one of them believed Lauren's lies.

I lifted my head, a spring of hope rising in my chest. Maybe I could sit with the Cullens and the Hales. I knew Alice wouldn't be opposed to it and Jasper went along with whatever she wanted; even Emmett had warmed up to me over the course of the weekend. I bit my lip, thinking of Rosalie's constant scowl. If I could be brave enough to ignore her bluster the way Alice did, it just might work. I didn't admit to myself the added benefit of being near Edward…

When class got out, I hurried out the door, not wanting to encounter the pity I'd be sure to hear if I spoke with Jessica. I decided to take the long way to math, hoping to avoid running into Lauren, not sure I trusted myself quite yet to simply ignore her as she deserved.

The hallways intersected ahead, a clot of students congested there. My heart stuttered as I spied Edward's wild hair above the crowd, my pace slowing as I approached the melee. Maybe I could lay the groundwork for lunch, check with him and see if the idea of me joining their table was okay. A cluster of freshman broke away and I was able to see him fully, head bent as he smiled down at a pretty strawberry blonde in a cheerleading uniform.

…_he doesn't talk to anyone…or at least, he didn't…_

She was smiling in return, curved lips parting as she tilted her head flirtatiously.

…_it's not like he's thawed out to anyone else…he still only talks to his family, the Hales and you…_

Edward's lips were moving but I couldn't hear him over the roaring of blood in my ears, his green eyes bright as he gazed down at the cheerleader.

…_Edward doesn't really talk to anyone…_

He was leaning towards her, almost…protectively.

…_Edward Cullen, who hates anybody who isn't related to him or dating someone related to him, decides he's going to treat you like a human being…_

The words echoed through my head, drowning out the chatter around me, the slamming of locker doors, the sound of the warning bell ringing overhead. Somehow, my feet kept moving for which I was grateful. I didn't doubt that enough eyes were trained on me that had I frozen in place and gawked at Edward, it would have fed a whole new round of ridiculous rumors. Of course, this time, they would have been justified.

I ducked my head, staying close to the wall of lockers, swinging right and heading towards the exit doors. The air outside was bracing and cold, the clouds ever low and gray above. I paused at the curb, not sure for a moment where I was going or what I was doing, only knowing I had to get away.

Once I was in the relative privacy of my truck, warm air blowing through the vents, the weight of what I'd seen became real. Edward, talking and smiling with a girl who wasn't Alice or Rosalie…or me. I shuddered, feeling a sob trying to shake loose from my chest. I hadn't admitted to myself just how much I liked him until the absolute certainty that it would never happen came crashing down.

I'd reminded myself so many times that I didn't belong, a dull, gray, flying rat of a bird compared to him, to Alice, to all of them. My eyes welled with tears and I let them fall, my hands shaking on the steering wheel, gasping for breath, heartbroken.

I couldn't go home, didn't want to stare at the same familiar walls. I also didn't want to risk Alice showing up in her impulsive, unexpected way, certain to be curious when she saw me absent from English. Brushing the damp from my eyes with angry hands, I wrenched the wheel west, heading to the one place I knew the Cullens wouldn't go.

I was driving to the reservation.


	18. Crushed

**Disclaimer** - Characters are Stephenie Meyers. Reviews get a preview of the following chapter...

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**Eighteen**

A light rain began to fall but I didn't pull my hood over my head, letting the wind whip my hair around, stronger and more powerful here on First Beach. I stared out at the ocean, my eyes dry and unseeing, my hands fists at my sides.

Despite the turmoil and heartbreak raging inside me, there was room for a small flicker of relief that the landscape was empty. After all, it was late morning and most people would be at work or school at this hour. The rocky beach spread out before me, driftwood scattered like bones on the shore, evergreens towering at my back. It looked and felt absolutely abandoned.

I had recognized the girl, Tanya Denowsky, a junior who always had a cluster of athletes around her in the cafeteria. She had cheered at the homecoming game, smiling with bright white teeth as she shook her pom poms in front of the crowd, confident, graceful, and undeniably pretty.

I thought just how right she looked at Edward's side, staring up at him, smiling as she spoke, tucking a strawberry blond curl behind her ear. I closed my eyes, realizing what an idiot I had been, allowing myself to feel anything but friendship. Even if I had no expectations, no hopes, how could I avoid getting hurt when the inevitable happened?

Because it was inevitable. Edward was gorgeous, even when he was scowling and annoyed. His sense of humor could be absurd or sharp, teasing me until I didn't know whether I wanted to slap him or laugh. And he could be utterly charming when he put his mind to it—and clearly, he was putting his mind to it with Tanya Denowsky.

I stumbled over the rocks and trailing seaweed, making my way to a beached tree whose snarl of roots provided a perfect bench. I huddled into my rain coat, watching the waves crash against the shore, willing myself to feel something other than pain.

The sky was growing dark, the light sinking over the horizon, when I accepted I had to leave. Though I had no desire to leave the cradle of the tree roots, Charlie would be worried if I wasn't home when he got off work. I didn't register how stiff and cold I'd gotten sitting outside for hours on a mid-December day until I tried to put my keys into the ignition. My hands wouldn't stop shaking, my finger nails blue, the healing scar beneath my thumb a white line against the red of my palm. It took several attempts to start the engine. When it roared to life, I simply sat for a while, letting the warm air thaw me out.

By the time I got home, my nose was running and my head was throbbing. I took some aspirin when I got inside and numbly started dinner. Charlie came in shortly after I'd pulled several cans out of the cupboards and turned on the oven to preheat. He took one look at me and sent me to bed. "I'll eat leftovers." I opened my mouth to speak and he lifted his arm, pointing upstairs. "Go. Now."

To my surprise, I wasn't in bed for long before a deep sleep sank me into darkness.

The hacking cough that had lodged in my chest overnight kept me home the next morning. Had I felt better, I might have wondered how it would look not showing up to school two days in a row, especially in the wake of all the rumors. I couldn't bring myself to care, though, huddled on the sofa wrapped in my quilt, tissues crumpled in my hands. Between the fog of the cough medicine and the misery of seeing Edward with another girl, it was hard to feel anything but apathy.

I was no better the following day. Charlie poked his head into my room before he left for work, his lowered brows visible even in the half gloom of pre-dawn. He looked unsurprised to see me awake, his dark eyes worried but firm as he forbade me from going to school or doing anything around the house. "I heard you coughing and sniffling all night, kiddo. You're not going anywhere."

I didn't argue, settling back onto my pillow with a sigh. I proceeded to drift in and out of sleep, the sky unchanging outside my window, unable to mark the passage of time with the movement of the sun, the clouds blocking out everything. I only went downstairs to make tea, my appetite gone, incapable of making a dent in the massive dish of lasagna in the fridge. I was in such a haze, I almost didn't hear the knock at the front door.

Thinking it must be a Jehovah's Witness or a Girl Scout selling candy, I figured I'd give them a good scare with my horrifying appearance. Hair a rat's next around my head, nose red and chapped, I opened the door ready to snap at whoever was there to go the hell away. My threadbare sweats and tee shirt stained with Nyquil were the crowning touch.

"Alice?"

"Bella?" It was the first time she'd greeted me with anything other than an exclamation. Her blue eyes appraised me, slightly surprised. "You really are sick."

It was hard to feel anything staring at her, not even mentally questioning why she was on my front porch. Dully, I replied, "Yup, sure am." I turned, leaving the door ajar. There was no way I could keep her out and I didn't have the energy to bother trying. "Aren't you missing lunch?" I asked as I sank onto the sofa.

She waved a hand dismissively, her lips a thin line. "I'm not missing much. Edward's been a dick all week. You're doing me a favor by giving me a break." I said nothing, unwilling to inquire after her brother. She sat down, perching on the plaid armchair my dad favored when he was watching games on the television.

I changed the subject instead. "You didn't believe I was sick." It was a statement, not a question.

Alice's gaze was sardonic, a single dark brow lifting nearly to her hairline. "We've all heard the gossip."

I looked away. "I'm not a coward. I wouldn't miss school because of that."

"I'm glad to hear it. It's not worth it. No one who isn't an idiot or lusting after you themselves would believe it anyways."

I looked down at my hands, too miserable to be gratified even if that were true. I knew it didn't really matter, what people I didn't even know thought of me. No, the source of my misery was something else entirely.

Trying to keep the emotion from my voice, I tried to think of the most neutral way to ask after her brother. "I hope it hasn't made things difficult for…Edward." If I were Tanya, would it worry me to hear that kind of gossip about a guy who was pursuing me? I didn't know.

"Why would it?" Alice's voice was sharp. I didn't dare look up, knowing her blue eyes would be piercing as she gazed at me. "Like guys ever suffer when people say those kinds of things; if anything, it builds them up."

I didn't respond, my hands clenching into fists in my lap, the knuckles going white. The silence went on, the only sound the hum of the appliances in the kitchen, the squawk of a crow outside. Sensing I was not going to budge, Alice changed tactics. "The solstice is next week."

I knew that should be important for some reason but my brain was still too foggy to remember why.

"We're going to have a big feast. I'm going to try to make Tang Yuan and Esme promised to do a big roast." I recognized most of the words but I still couldn't understand what she was saying. "I'm shopping for masks this weekend in Seattle!" The grin on her face made it clear I should be excited, too.

Alice finally got to the point. "So will you come?"

I stifled a cringe. Though I had never expected to feel that way, the thought of going back to the Cullen house was the absolute last thing I wanted. I imagined the evening as one long reminder of exactly how wrong I'd been about Edward. I was far too proud to pine after someone who had never wanted me and I wasn't sure I could be normal around him. I suddenly had no doubt I'd give my feelings away in silly blushes and longing looks I couldn't help or hide. The thought tied my stomach in knots.

"Bella?" Alice's voice was soft, and I realized I hadn't answered. I saw an uncertainty in her blue eyes that I'd never witnessed there before, the slightest wrinkle flitting across her forehead.

"I don't know, Alice," I finally answered, my voice a croak. I couldn't look her in the eye, plucking at the fabric of my sweats.

"Oh…okay." The hurt in her voice was unbearable. I closed my eyes at the thought of how she had confided in me, shared things I'm sure no one but her family knew…her inexplicable excitement every time she'd encountered me…My shoulders curled inwards, fighting the urge to accept, to say that I would go, certain I wouldn't be able to hold it together if I had to spend a whole night around Edward.

I heard her shift, getting up from the armchair. "I—I should get going. Let me know if you need anything."

I nodded but didn't look up to watch her go. Tears welled behind my lids when the front door quietly clicked shut but I didn't let them fall.

A rare sunny day dawned Friday, making me squint as I rolled over in bed, trying to burrow beneath my quilt. I quickly gave up, the light too bright, tempting me from the covers. I sat up and was instantly unable to breathe.

The crystal Alice had given me was dancing in the window, the rare sunshine bouncing off its facets and shooting rainbows around the room. The walls were alive with golden slivers of light, shimmering between violet and pink at the edges. The colors rippled over the walls, like a waterfall, a raindrop, playful and light. It was beautiful…and I was an asshole.

When I finally regained my breath, the sound was a hollow, rattling noise. Blinking back tears, I made my way to the bathroom to grab the cough medicine. I caught my reflection in the cabinet mirror and stilled. I didn't look just sick. My face was wan with misery. The light had gone from my eyes, purple bruises underneath revealing how little I was sleeping. My cheekbones were pronounced with how little I'd eaten all week. My hair had phased from a frizzy tangle to a lank and greasy mess; I hadn't showered in four days. I couldn't go on like this.

Turning to the stall, I started to run the water as hot as it would go. I pushed the bathroom door tightly shut, inhaling deeply as the steam slowly began to build in the small space. I soaked beneath the prickling water, head bowed, willing my lungs to clear, hoping to feel physically better at least.

I pulled on a fresh pair of sweats and a cotton camisole, letting my wet hair hang down my back. I trotted downstairs, noticing it was a little past noon according to the clock on the DVD player. I wasn't hungry but I was going to make myself eat. It would be the first step to recovering some kind of normalcy.

I wasn't entirely surprised when the knock sounded on the door. Truthfully, I'd been hoping Alice would come back. I wanted to apologize, I wanted to accept her invitation, I wanted to be her friend even if I couldn't do the same with her brother. I hurried to the door, swinging it wide, a greeting on my lips.

The words died.

"Edward?"


	19. Special

**Disclaimer**: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyers. Reviewers get a teaser of the following chapter.

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**Nineteen**

Edward's hands were shoved in the pockets of his jeans but it was clear it took effort to keep them there. His hair was more wild than I'd ever seen, sweeping away from his forehead in every direction, the rare sun glinting off the bronze strands there.

His lips were a thin line, his green eyes hard as he stared at me. The anger in his expression caught me off guard. He didn't respond when I said his name, nostrils flaring before he pushed past me into the house. I stumbled out of his way, brow furrowing at his rudeness. Of course, it'd be easier to get over him if he went back to being a total douche to me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, following him into the living room. If he was going to be rude, I wasn't going to bother with pleasantries.

"I was worried about you," he bit out.

"There isn't any reason to be," I shot back, crossing my arms over my chest.

Edward's laugh was bitter and he ripped his hands from his pockets before dragging them through his hair. "This is all my fault," he muttered to himself, looking at the floor.

"I already told you, Edward. You don't need to be sorry about the gossip!" I flung an arm out, breathing hard with all of the helpless anger I'd felt over the past week. "If it wasn't blowjobs in the bathroom, it would have been something else!"

He visibly flinched at the words and literally pulled at his hair. "I could kill her." His voice was ominously low, his pale face drawn with anger.

"This is not your problem!" I cried, not wanting to see him get so wrapped up in protecting me yet again. If he hadn't kept stepping in, if he'd treated me as he had everyone else, I never would have felt the devastation of this stupid crush.

Then I remembered the suspicion I'd had yesterday and suddenly knew that must be the reason. What girl would have him when he was being dogged by rumors about me? As long as that was the case, it _was_ his problem. I cringed at the thought, wilting as my anger died away. Closing my eyes and crossing my arms over my chest, I forced myself to speak. "Unless…" My voice was no louder than a whisper, uncertain I could voice the words that would deny my own hopes. "Unless I'm ruining your chances…with someone else."

There was a long pause but I didn't open my eyes, crossing my arms tighter to try to keep my body from trembling. "What are you talking about?" His voice was genuinely surprised, all anger absent.

I still couldn't open my eyes, taking a deep breath. "I don't want to be in the way," I said softly, squeezing my eyes tight to keep the tears at bay. "I shouldn't be in the way—there's no reason—the gossip—nothing ever happened between us--" Strong hands grasped my upper arms, gentle but firm, stopping the stream of stuttering words.

"Bella." Edward's voice was so soft, so pleading, I had to open my eyes. His expression was unfathomable, his green eyes mesmerizing as he stared down at me.

"You don't talk to anyone." My voice was thick, my emotions so near the surface. "Everyone knows that." I dropped my gaze, unable to look at his face any longer.

He let go of my arms, turning away. I lifted my eyes to see him pacing before the sofa, his hands thrust into his hair, his expression a mixture of uncertainty and consternation. "Alice said…no, not just Alice. Esme, too." I frowned with confusion but didn't interrupt, my gaze following him as he walked five steps in one direction, spun on his heel and paced back. "Even Carlisle, after he saw you at the hospital…they all said I was better. Nicer."

I bit my lip, not wanting to tell him that Alice had called him a dick just the day before.

"I thought it was bullshit for a while," he pulled at his hair, the crown standing on end. "It made me crazy, like a problem they were trying to solve…and what was wrong with how things were before?" He was still pacing and I dropped my eyes, his obvious tension making me nervous. "When Carlisle came home that night and asked me if you were a friend, I lost it." I looked up with surprised understanding, my mouth falling open as I recalled how he'd ignored me the day after I'd gotten my stitches. I'd had nothing to attribute it to at the time, simply thinking he'd changed his mind about me.

"Alice was no help, going on about how she knew something was up." Edward's mouth was a grim line, his eyes distant with the memory. "Esme was…joyful." His hands were fists, the skin taut over his knuckles. "I didn't want it to be true. What could I do about it anyways?" I bit my lip, strangely grateful I'd fallen and forced him to resume our friendship. "It's been this way for so long." Edward stopped pacing, turning to me, pleading again.

"Not talking to anyone?" I asked softly, understanding.

"Not if I didn't have to!" He resumed his pacing. "I told Alice it was because of the project but even I knew I was full of shit after a certain point." He pushed a hand through his hair, making it even wilder. "And you…" Edward wouldn't meet my eyes, dragging his hands over his face as he spoke, the words almost muffled by the motion. "You didn't mind. Walking with me, talking…you didn't care what people thought."

He approached me again but his hands were fists at his sides, his shoulders tense around his ears. I dropped my eyes, catching my breath at his nearness. If I leaned forward, we would be touching.

"I thought I was special," I whispered.

"If you weren't, do you think all these assholes would be talking about us?" His voice was amused and I closed my eyes, unable to find any of it funny. "Bella." He lifted his hands, cupping my shoulders.

I shook my head. "I'm not special," I insisted.

"That just isn't true." Edward's hands slid up my neck, trailing along my jaw, cupping my cheeks. I stopped breathing when he gently tilted my head up. I knew if I opened my eyes, I would be lost.

Edward's soft lips touched mine, tentative and sweet…and I was completely and utterly lost.

The kiss didn't end so much as it transformed, his mouth moving to the corner of my lips, over to my cheek, trailing along my hairline, a whisper of movement. I swayed, faint, not able to believe in this moment. I raised my hands and grasped his waist, a smile tilting my lips as he inhaled sharply at my touch.

"Do you believe me?"

I opened my eyes and nodded, still not able to speak. Edward's smile was glowing, green eyes lit from within. His lips moved to mine again and this time I kissed him back, wondering at the feel of his breath against my mouth, so impossibly close.

When he pulled back, it took me a moment to focus. "So you're not interested in Tanya Denowsky?"

Edward's brow furrowed, confused, before he understood, a grin replacing the frown. "She asked me to the Sadie Hawkins dance."

I pulled away from his hands, lunging back, mouth agape. "So you _were_ flirting!?"

Edward laughed, stepping towards me, closing the distance between us. "I told her I was hoping someone else would ask me. She wanted to know if that was you."

I stared up at him in wonder, unresisting as his hands rose to my face again, tenderly stroking my cheeks, tucking my still damp hair behind my ears. "And you said?"

"Yes."

I could cry for my idiocy. For my assumptions. For the misery I'd so needlessly put myself through over the past week. I sank into Edward, my hands curled up against his chest. He obligingly wrapped his arms around me.

We stood that way for a while before my growling stomach interrupted the soft kisses that speckled the contented silence. Edward's voice was rough when he spoke, "When did you last eat?"

"Yesterday afternoon?" I guessed. He took my hand, leading me into the kitchen.

"I know you must have something in here." I nodded, grabbing the lasagna from the fridge, trying not to smile at the strange sight of him in my kitchen. "What?" he asked, smiling at my incredulous expression.

"Just you, here. None of this feels real." He grinned that heart stopping, crooked smile, crossed to my side in two steps, and stooped to kiss the line of my jaw. My heart pounded in response, his breath warm and intoxicating against my neck. I managed to whisper, "If you want me to eat, you'll have to stop." I leaned against the counter, my knees weak.

"Fine." The petulance in his voice was only half-joking. He folded his lanky frame into a chair at the table, drumming his long fingers against the surface. A slight frown crossed his brow and he looked up at me. "I tried to come by on Tuesday after school, when you didn't come to class." He glowered. "Alice told me what Lauren had been saying and I was worried…Your truck wasn't here, though."

I ducked my head, heat making it's way to my cheeks. It all felt so silly now. "I went where I knew you couldn't go." I said quietly, then added in a hurried voice, "I was more worried about Alice, though. I didn't think you would come…"

Edward's frown only deepened. "Where I couldn't go?"

I wasn't supposed to know but I didn't think he'd be angry. I softly said, "The reservation."

Edward froze, his pale face somehow losing all color, his mouth falling open. Was he upset that I knew? It was my turn to frown, looking at him in confusion. "It's no big deal," I spoke in a rush, trying to reassure him. "I mean, it is—but no one was seriously hurt—" The shock on his face began to fade as I spoke, his eyes narrowing. "And I would think you'd drive like less of a maniac now," I added, remembering the ride to his house and Emmett's tail-gating.

"I'm an excellent driver."

I snorted, lifting a brow doubtfully. Did I need to point out that we were discussing his attempt to recreate _Rebel Without a Cause_?

Edward rose in one fluid motion and was at my side, his presence so close I could feel his warmth. He bent his head, body inches from mine, his lips near my ear. "Did you ever wonder why Rosalie owed me?" I closed my eyes, trying to concentrate on his words, to put his nearness out of my mind. His fingers came to my cheek, a soft caress. "Emmett was driving. When the other car went off the road, he panicked." His fingers trailed to my throat and I could feel myself flushing, wanting so badly to touch him back. "He was already on thin ice with Rosalie's father and it would have been just the excuse he needed to forbid them from seeing each other." He took a deep breath, drawing his hand away. "I didn't have the same motivations. So we switched seats."

I opened my eyes, staring up at him breathlessly. A rueful smile crossed his lips. "I certainly wouldn't do the same thing today."

The microwave dinged and I welcomed the distraction. I turned away, grabbing a fork and a napkin from a drawer, my eyes downcast as I took a seat at the table.

"That is something to think about," I allowed after chewing and swallowing a bite.

Edward lowered himself into the chair opposite. "Yes. Though I have a feeling even if I were a castrated choir singer, your father would hate me."

I choked on my lasagna and Edward flew from his seat, banging cupboards as he found a glass and filled it with water.

"Thank you," I managed after I'd taken a gulp. I put the glass down and stared at my plate, lost in thought. Charlie would not be happy. There was no doubt about that. I bit my lip, hoping that if I thought about it long enough, the way to phrase it would come to me.

"Argh!" Edward startled me from my thoughts, my gaze flying to his frustrated face with surprise. His hands were back in his hair, his expression tormented.

"What's wrong?"

"I completely forgot. I have to go to Seattle this weekend. The whole family is going. Damnit!" I exhaled, relieved he hadn't suddenly suffered an aneurysm.

"You scared me."

"I can't believe I have to be gone this weekend…" He looked at me, frowning and sad all at once. "I mean, we've only just realized…"

I looked down, blushing for what felt like the thousandth time that hour.

"God, I love that," Edward murmured. The blush only intensified.

I took another bite, fighting the distraction of his presence, his compliments. "What's in Seattle?" I asked after I'd swallowed.

"Christmas shopping. Old friends of Carlisle's. Alice wants to buy things for the solstice dinner." He sounded exasperated, clearly wishing he wasn't going.

"Oh!" I stared at him, remembering Alice's invitation. I bit my lip, wishing I hadn't been such an idiot, knowing I owed her an apology. "Alice invited me."

"I know," Edward quietly said. "That's why I came over today."

"I'm an asshole."

"No, you're not." He paused and when he spoke next, his voice was teasing. "Did you think Tanya Denowsky was going to be there?"

I glared at him.

"That's why you wouldn't agree to go, isn't it?"

A blush joined my glare, my hands fisting in my lap.

"You were worried I'd be making out with her over the roast--" I jumped from my seat and rushed from the room, bristling with anger.

I got no further than the doorway, his arms snaking around my waist. I twisted around, pushing at his chest. "You were grinning at her like she was made of chocolate and sunshine--" Edward was shaking with laughter, his arms a vise, my struggling ineffectual "--and she's this gorgeous cheerleader who can probably do the splits in her sleep--" I was getting breathless, squirming against him. "--and I can't even stay upright on perfectly level floors!"

"I'm glad you're jealous. If I had to look at Mike Newton drooling over you at lunch one more day…" His lips crushed mine, silencing the protests. I tried to stay angry but it was useless, my resisting hands fisting in the fabric of his shirt, closing my eyes to the sensation of his mouth against mine. When he pulled away, we were both gasping, staring with stunned want, dazed.

"Will you…" I licked my lips. "Will you tell Alice I'll go? If I'm still invited…"

"Of course you're still invited." He kissed me one more time, softly, before releasing me. "She'll be thrilled."

I smiled, teetering slightly as his arms left me.

"Damnit, Bella. If I have to keep catching you, I'll never make it back to class."

I grinned at the thought but carefully crossed back to the table to finish my plate. "When do you have to leave for Seattle?"

Edward leaned in the doorway, his face darkening again with a glower. "After school today."

"Oh." I hadn't realized it would be so soon.

Edward crossed to my side, crouching down next to the chair. "But we'll be back Sunday. Can I call you then?"

I nodded shyly, the reality of the situation sinking in again.

"Good." He smiled and leaned forward, lips brushing my cheek. "I'd better get back before Alice flips out." I nodded again, getting up to walk him to the door.

Edward took my hand, his thumb rubbing circles into my palm, reluctant to go. "God, this timing…" he muttered. His eyes were longing when he lifted his gaze to mine. He leaned forward to kiss me once, hard.

When he was gone, I closed my eyes and pinched the skin of my forearm. But upon opening my eyes, it was all still real.


	20. Fantasy

**Disclaimer**: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyers. Reviewers get a preview of the following chapter...

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**Twenty**

I was convinced when I woke up the next day that I had dreamed the entire thing. Staring at the ceiling, chewing my bottom lip, I tried to remember if I'd seen unicorns out the front window of the living room or the walls bleeding at any point during the time Edward Cullen had been at my house. Perhaps I'd overdosed on cold medication and had hallucinated the whole thing. Of course, the missing unicorns were problematic with that theory as well…

If only there was some evidence he'd been there. A forgotten item, a scribbled note, something to prove I hadn't imagined the entire thing. I couldn't blame fever either since I was practically recovered by the time Saturday rolled around.

The truth of the matter was that I was still a dull, gray pigeon and the thought of Edward liking me as I liked him…of being jealous of Maybe-Mike Newton…of wanting me…was simply laughable. Even if he had meant everything he'd said, what if a weekend away gave him the time to realize he was wrong?

I distracted myself with all of the housework I'd neglected while I'd been a sniffling mess, catching up on laundry, vacuuming, and even attacking the stairs with a bucket and mop. Charlie came home from fishing with Billy and immediately sniffed the air suspiciously.

"Bella?" he called.

"Yeah, Dad?" I was in the kitchen scrubbing the table with a scouring pad.

"You alright?"

I looked up, blowing a strand of chestnut hair from my eyes. "Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

My reflection that morning had shown I was recovered from more than the cold—whatever doubts I had about the whole thing being real, it was impossible not to feel hopeful. The pink flush in my cheeks and the shine in my eyes were testament to that.

Charlie continued to eye me with suspicion. "I feel better now, Dad. Please don't make me stop cleaning."

A small smile finally tilted his mustache. "Do you know how much Billy would pay to hear Jake say that?"

I laughed and turned back to the table. I didn't feel like I was deceiving him, at least not yet. After all, he hadn't _asked_ me if I was seeing Edward Cullen so I hadn't technically lied to him. Between my doubts about Friday being a dream, or Edward taking it all back once he realized what a massive mistake he was making, it seemed like a lot of unnecessary trouble. However many circles I went in trying to form the words, the image of a red-faced Charlie flying off the handle was always the result. So I said nothing.

I called both Jessica and Angela on Sunday to get the assigned reading and homework I'd missed all that past week. That kept me busy for the majority of the rest of the day but I still managed to glance at the phone at least every hour. Edward hadn't said when he would call, but I figured noon was the earliest I could expect him if they were driving from Seattle. After all, I couldn't imagine getting Emmett out of bed and on the road on a Sunday before nine.

Fortunately, Charlie was out fishing again despite the sporadic rainfall so the only person getting creeped out by how much I was staring at the phone was me.

When Charlie returned to the house at a quarter to five, his bucket hat damp with rain and his hands grimey with fish scales, I forced myself to go upstairs. I knew I wouldn't be able to hide my eager restlessness from him and I didn't want to answer any questions my loitering near the phone would prompt. I hunched over my desk, trying to read, a hand fisted in my hair, ears straining for the slightest murmur from the phone.

The minutes ticked painfully by but the phone didn't ring. I could feel my breathing get more and more shallow as the hours passed, suddenly certain I'd imagined the whole thing. Or Edward had comes to his senses. Why hadn't I remembered a unicorn?

It was nearly midnight when I turned off my desk light. I shivered under the covers but I wasn't cold. I promised myself I wouldn't cry. It was nearly two when I finally fell asleep.

I woke when I heard Charlie shuffling down the stairs to go to work. It was six but I knew there was no way I'd get any more sleep. I waited until I heard the front door shut then stumbled to my feet, rubbing my aching eyes. I couldn't think, wouldn't allow myself to imagine the day in front of me, letting ingrained habit pull me into the bathroom and under the spray of the shower. I found a rubber band that wasn't stretched beyond recognition and pulled my hair into a loop at my nape, forcing the words he'd said from my mind.

My closet smelled of fresh clothes and detergent given all the laundry I'd done that weekend but I took no notice, grabbing the nearest pair of jeans. My mom had teased me that the long-sleeved olive tee shirt I was pulling from the dresser looked like army fatigues but I didn't smile at the memory of her calling me Private Swan when I wore it.

I made my way downstairs in the half-gloom, the house still dark at this early hour. The thought of the solstice, the day after which it would start getting lighter, made me cringe. I violently shoved the thoughts away and turned on the kitchen light as I made my way to the fridge.

The distraction of making toast and eggs kept all of the turmoil at bay for another hour. I hoped reading would fill the last thirty minutes until I had to leave for school. I wasn't very absorbed in the book but was nonetheless startled when a rap sounded against the glass pane in the back door.

"Bella?"

"Edward?" I jumped up then hesitated, uncertain. My pulse raced, wondering if I was still in bed dreaming.

"Are you going to let me in?" His voice was muffled through the glass.

"What are you doing here?" I was confused, trying to reconcile how I'd felt all morning, the apathy, the resignation, to the hope that was fluttering in my chest at that moment.

There was a pause and then his frustrated voice answered, "I wanted to give you a ride to school."

I crossed to the thresh hold, turned the deadbolt, and opened the door.

Before it was fully open, Edward swept inside, his arms around my waist, lifting me bodily off the floor in one abrupt motion.

"Oh!" My hands instinctively grabbed his shoulders, overwhelmed by the warmth of him, so solid feeling. The sensation of his breath against my neck, his face buried in the spot where my shoulder turned to throat, was making my head swim. "Why…why didn't you…c-call?"

Edward inhaled deeply one last time, then gently set me down. He reluctantly stepped back, his hands trailing down my arms to grasp my hands. "It was after midnight when we got back. I didn't want to make a bad impression on your dad before I'd even met him." I bit my lip and felt the doubtful knots in my stomach unfurl, relief flooding my limbs.

He went on. "We were running around all day, going to these random shops Alice had read about on the internet, on this quest to find the perfect ceremonial masks." He rolled his eyes and I stifled a laugh, just imagining Emmett's reaction to that. "I forgot my charger here and my phone was dead by noon. I didn't realize Esme had made dinner reservations at some restaurant a friend of hers owns--and obviously it was this seven course nonsense that made me want to tear my hair out." I didn't bother to hide my laugh, easily able to picture Edward maniacally tugging at his hair in the middle of a fancy dinner.

"I thought…" My brow furrowed, wanting to forget the past twenty-four hours. Edward bent his head, his lips tender against mine…and my memory was wiped clean.

Lifting his head, Edward stared into my eyes, supplicating. "So will you go to school with me?" he asked softly.

"Yes." I took a deep breath, steadying myself. "Let me just clean up."

Within minutes we were out the door, my bag slung over my shoulder. Once we were in the car, Edward stole my hand and placed it on the gear shift, his own hand resting on top. I thought my face might start to hurt from smiling. The ugliness of the past week was a distant, vague memory, unimportant, a wrinkle of turmoil that couldn't bother me now. Lauren's fabrications, the fact that Mike and Tyler believed her, the whispers, the stares, the gossip…it was inconsequential in the security of Edward's car with his smooth palm resting on my hand.

The parking lot was largely empty when we arrived; we were early due to the fact that neither one of us had slept in that morning. A few football players in varsity jackets were clustered near the front steps and blatantly ogled the Volvo as Edward opened the passenger door for me. I ignored them, my face turned to his as he slung an arm around my shoulder and pulled me tightly against his side. Edward's half grin was cocky as we passed them, entering the school.

At the intersection of the hallways, he reluctantly pulled away, his hand trailing down my arm to grasp my own. Looking at the floor, Edward sounded uncertain. "We have twenty minutes. Do you want to…maybe…go to the library for a bit?"

"Sure," I said softly, wondering if it was possible he could be worried about rejection. His grin was radiant when he looked up, tugging me after him down the hall.

Edward wasted no time, leading me back to the furthest corner where we'd sat once before. His lips were on mine in an instant, his hands at my waist, fervently pulling me close. I didn't hesitate, throwing my arms around his neck, on my toes, threading my fingers through his hair. The urgency of the kiss, his mouth firm against mine, made me bold, tongue darting out to taste his bottom lip. A soft groan rumbled in his throat, pressing me even tighter to his chest.

When he pulled away, leaning his forehead against mine, we were both breathing heavily. "The weekend was so long," he breathed. "Emmett wanted to kill me the whole time."

I laughed. "Just Emmett?"

Edward closed his eyes and I swear a soft flush stole up his cheeks. "Esme and Alice are more…excited." He paused, then added, "Relieved. They were happy even though I was acting like a miserable asshole."

"At least you weren't staring at the phone for half the day," I reassured him, wryly smiling.

Edward lifted his head, green eyes bright and surprised as he looked down at me. "Were you? I didn't think…"

I blushed, ducking my head. "Yeah."

His fingers were on my chin, lifting my face, lips forcefully pressing to mine, as if marking me. We only pulled apart when the warning bell rang, breathless again. Edward recovered first, a crooked smile curving his lips as he trailed a finger over my lips. They felt swollen. "Let me walk you to class."

The halls had filled up while we lingered in the library, lost in our own world. Students milled in front of their lockers, laughing and shouting, the mood one of barely repressed excitement in the last week before winter break. The heightened anticipation matched my own feelings, my heart swollen in my chest, my feet light on the ground as Edward held my hand walking down the hallway.

"Oh," Edward remembered something, leaning next to the door of Miss Goff's class. I raised my brows, waiting for him to speak. "Alice said because you didn't accept her invitation right away, you have to wear the mask with feathers."

"Feathers…?"

"Yeah." Edward's smile was mischievous. "She might explain at lunch. Then again…" he laughed softly, tucking a stray tendril of hair behind my ear. "She might not."

My responding glare was useless on him, chuckling before he walked away. I went into class only to find Jessica sitting next to my desk, her eyes wide and hopeful as she stared at me. I lifted a brow, remembering her promise. Clearly she remembered it, too, her face gradually turning red from the effort of not speaking, repressing the urge to pry and question and probe. She resembled the human version of a goldfish out of water, struggling to breathe.

"Jessica?" I finally said with one minute to go before class started.

She turned to me with wide, watering eyes, chewing the insides of her cheeks, her face contorted. She nodded once to indicate she'd heard me. The bell rang and Miss Goff stood up, briskly asking for the previous week's homework. "Thank you," I whispered.

Jessica got up in a flurry when class ended, not bothering to shove her books and papers into her backpack, rushing from the room. I laughed softly, knowing she didn't trust herself to be around me and not attempt to pry.

I needed to grab my math book so headed to my locker, frowning with surprise when I saw Mike leaning against it. "Hey," I said in greeting, unable to hide the suspicion in my voice.

"Bella!" His gaze raked my figure and my eyes narrowed, wondering if the aggression I'd momentarily worried about in the wake of Lauren's rumor-mongering was suddenly in evidence.

I shifted on my feet, waiting for him to move away from my locker. When he didn't budge, I asked impatiently, "What's up, Mike?"

"Are you going to the Sadie Hawkins dance?"

"Seriously?"

"Uh, yeah…" He looked uncertain, his gaze faltering at my disbelieving stare.

"Isn't it girls choice?"

"I know, I just thought—since things didn't work out with Cullen--"

My sharp laugh cut off his words and I had to raise a hand to my mouth to staunch the sound. Despite the speed at which gossip seemed to move in this small school, Mike had somehow missed the news Jessica had obviously known about before I even sat down in first period.

"I'm not going to the dance, Mike," I finally responded, smiling through my fingers at the absurdity of the situation.

"Why not?" He stepped towards me, his voice petulant, clearly not expecting rejection. I shifted my weight to my heels, wishing he would back away, his body heat tangible as he leaned towards me.

"Because, Mike…" I bit my lip. I suddenly realized there hadn't been any explicit discussion about it, about us, and I suddenly felt unsure.

"Because she has a boyfriend," Edward's voice was a harsh growl, suddenly appearing from behind me, his green eyes blazing. I felt the weight of his hand on the back of my neck and Mike instantly reared away, stumbling on his own feet.

"Cullen—fuck—sorry, I didn't think--"

"Right." The word was terse and completely dismissive. Edward turned to me, his hand gently caressing my nape. "Can I walk you to your next class?"

I stared at him, eyes wide with surprise. Boyfriend. The word was like a weight on my tongue, filling my stomach with butterflies and anticipation at the same time. "What?" Edward asked.

I paused, registering what had just happened. "Now you know how it feels," I grinned.

"When Tanya sits next to me every day at lunch staring at my chest, we'll be even," he replied smoothly.

I gaped, glared, then swatted at his hand.

"Come on, Bella," he laughed, slinging his arm around my shoulders. "Let me walk you to class."


	21. Common Knowledge

**Disclaimer:** Not mine. Reviewers get a preview of the following chapter.

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**Twenty-One**

Though I was relatively sure Mike wouldn't be bothering me again, there weren't any opportunities him to repeat the mistake; Edward was waiting outside each time I got out of class, a lazy smile curling his lips when I appeared in the hall.

"You don't have to do that," I laughed as we headed to the cafeteria. Edward held my hand loosely and I could feel the flush stealing up my cheeks as his thumb rubbed my pulse point.

"Do what?" Edward asked as he guided me to the line, standing in front of him. He reached around me to grab a tray, letting his arm linger around my waist.

"Wait for me." I could feel my blush deepening as the murmurs around us intensified; I didn't doubt half the cafeteria was looking in our direction.

He leaned close to my ear, murmuring softly, "I like to."

I was tongue-tied at his nearness, his breath silken against my skin, unable to respond.

I regained my composure as he paid, glancing towards the table where I'd always sat until the recent insanity had taken over my life. Mike thankfully had his back to me but Jessica and Angela were facing in my direction. Their expressions shared huge grins as they looked my way, though Jessica still seemed as if she was going to explode with the effort of keeping her questions to herself.

"Do you want to sit with me?" Edward's voice was low and I pulled my gaze away from my friends, unable to hide my surprise.

"Why wouldn't I?" His shoulders visibly relaxed and he took my hand again, leading me to the table where the Hales and Cullens always sat.

It was so strange. I'd been hoping for this very thing a week ago under such different circumstances, simply wanting to avoid the fallout of Lauren's terrible lie. Now, as I approached the table with Edward's hand in the small of my back, I couldn't help shyly smiling at the broad grins that greeted me. Even Jasper, who rarely looked more than languidly amused, was flashing all of his teeth as if he'd won the lottery. Alice, next to him, was a quivering mess, her hands fluttering around her face.

"Bella!" She pulled me down in the seat next to her and Edward sank to my other side with a sigh. Alice glared at him before continuing, "I am so glad you feel better!"

"Holy shit, that's an understatement," Emmett laughed as he took a bite of a burger, half of it disappearing into his mouth at once. Rosalie glared at him as if daring him to talk with his mouth open, a manicured hand already raised to swat the back of his head. I was just glad she wasn't glaring at me.

"What?!" he said once he'd swallowed his food. He turned to me when Rosalie simply snorted and returned to her salad. "We had to deal with emo Edward at lunch all last week, not saying a word unless you talked to him first, and then it's to bitch at you for bothering him in the first place." Emmett's chair jerked and I realized Edward had kicked it under the table. Emmett just laughed and continued, "Then, when I think it can't get any fucking worse, I get stuck in a hotel with him all weekend, tormented and pacing like one of those neurotic dogs that rips its own fur out." Emmett's chair rocked again but now the whole table was laughing.

I turned to Edward, smiling at his ducked head, the tips of his ears faintly pink. Emmett went on, this time targeting Alice. "I don't know what you're laughing about, Pixie Stick. My two choices were the hotel with Romeo here, or wandering around shops that reek like hippies and patchouli with you."

"Don't they cancel each other out?" Jasper asked. "You never get one without the other."

"I hate hippies," Rose muttered.

"Don't we all, sweetheart," Emmett agreed, throwing an arm around her. Then, turning back to me. "Which is to say, we're all really glad you're not sick anymore and that my brother finally grew a pair and--" His words were cut off, his chair flying backward with the force of Edward's kick, crashing to the floor. There was a shocked pause before everyone burst out laughing. Emmett rose with a smirk, shaking his head as he righted the chair and took his seat.

"Thanks, Emmett," I said when the laughter had died down. It was impossible to think that I'd really had such an affect on Edward. I tried to look at him with my peripheral vision as I picked at the fruit salad on my plate but it was hard to fathom his expression.

Alice launched into a description of the things she'd bought in Seattle, effectively distracting me. I tried to listen, but Edward's hand had drifted to my knee under the table. Even though it simply rested there, I couldn't focus on her words, my food suddenly difficult to swallow. I could see him turn his head and smirk as he noticed me grimace while choking down a bite. My response was an ineffectual glare.

"I have to come up with a better way of being mad at you," I said under my breath.

Edward turned his head, the smirk still in place. "You're not mad at me." He squeezed my knee and I jumped, catching Jasper's attention.

"No footsy, kids," he grinned. Edward raised his hands defensively, his expression innocent.

"More like hands," I snorted, looking at Edward.

"I could see Edward being possessive," Alice mused.

"You should have seen him this morning when Mike talked to me."

"Hey--" Edward tried to protest.

"You might as well have peed on me." I poked him gently in the ribs to indicate I was partly teasing.

"You should have seen him when I first moved in," Alice began, blue eyes twinkling. "I took his room--"

"Without asking me," Edward's voice was nearly a growl. "I was at school and came home to find all of my things in the guest room," he explained as an aside to me.

"Your room had the best view!" Alice protested, as if that was an adequate reason. "Besides," she continued. "Esme ended up renovating the entire attic for you. You had the whole third floor to yourself."

"For about six months."

"And whose fault was that?" Alice quirked a brow.

Edward rolled his eyes and sighed, then took my hand. "I think we're done here." I looked down at my nearly empty plate and nodded.

The bell hadn't yet rang so the halls were empty as we drifted towards English class. "What did Alice mean, back there?" I asked impulsively.

"About what?" His gaze was on the floor, his voice evasive.

I exhaled loudly. "About it being your fault that you were only there for six more months?"

"How do you know it was my fault?" Edward asked with a lifted brow, green eyes finally meeting mine.

I could feel my brow pucker, suddenly unsure. "I-I don't, I guess…" I hadn't questioned the facts of Jake's story about the Cullens drag racing and I wondered if I was wrong about whatever Alice had been referencing, too. "I didn't mean--"

"It's okay," Edward interrupted, threading his fingers through mine. "Can we talk about it later?"

I nodded, biting my lip, filled with curiosity.

English passed too quickly, Edward's body angled towards mine, the slight grin on his lips widening every time I caught him looking at me and flushed in response. He took my hand as we crossed the courtyard to the gym, silent as the end of the day approached. I frowned as I saw his gentle expression suddenly transform, his brows lowering as his lips thinned. "What…?" Then I saw he'd glimpsed Lauren hurrying through the doors.

"If she wasn't a girl…" His murmur was ominous, laced with fury.

"No!" The word burst from my mouth without any thought behind it. Edward's green eyes narrowed slightly as they focused back on my face. "No, Edward," I continued, fighting to keep from looking away from his furious gaze. "Even if that was the case, I wouldn't change anything." He frowned, opening his mouth to disagree. "There's nothing you could do to her that would be worth the bother. Whether she's Lauren or..." I paused, trying to think of a name, "…or Larry."

He laughed at that, teeth flashing. "Not Lawrence?"

"Oh, that is closer. And a better name," I blushed.

He bent down, kissing my cheek softly. "I'll see you after class, okay?"

"Okay."

I had thought I might dread gym knowing I'd encounter Lauren there but it was actually much easier to keep my distance and forget her presence. It didn't hurt that she was clearly trying to stay as far away from me as possible, her expression anxious the few times I glimpsed her out of the corner of my eye.

Jessica kept me distracted, having somehow recovered her composure. I guessed she'd probably gotten enough confirmation of what had only been conjecture and hearsay at the beginning of the day and no longer needed me to back it up. Whatever the reason, she chattered brightly whenever she saw me get lost in thought, asking what I was planning for the break and babbling about her family's annual ski trip.

Edward was waiting with a smile when I hurried out of class, flushed with having changed so quickly, eager to see him again. "Hey," he said softly.

"Hey," I said back, feeling silly and ducking my head. He took my hand and led me to the parking lot, the babble of voices around us muted as I marveled yet again that this was real.

The drive to my house went too fast and I was distracted by the thought of the long afternoon and evening ahead of me without Edward. "Bella?' His voice pulled me from my thoughts, the concerned tone getting my attention. I raised my eyes, looking at him questioningly. "Is that your dad's cruiser?"

I felt my jaw drop as I saw Edward was correct, the cruiser parked at the curb, my truck still in the drive. I couldn't imagine why my dad would be home so early; I unfailingly spent the few hours after school on my own doing homework and preparing dinner. My eyes trailed from the car to the house and I felt my breath lock in my throat.

Charlie stood on the porch in his full uniform, the etched line between his brows deeper than I'd ever seen it. "Does he not know?" Edward's voice was edged with panic and anger, his jaw tensing as he stared determinedly out the wind shield, not daring to meet my father's eyes.

"No," I whispered, suddenly feeling beyond idiotic. "I—I wasn't sure…I couldn't think—and you were gone…" The words sounded weak even to me.

Edward didn't look at me. His voice was quiet when he next spoke, "Are you embarrassed of me?"

"No!" I cried, lifting a hand—but I suddenly felt as if I shouldn't touch him, that I didn't have the right. "Edward," my voice was a plea, "it's my fault." I could see my dad shifting impatiently on the porch and I straightened in my seat, worried he was going to cross to the car. "I was being a coward. Please believe me." Edward still wasn't looking at me and the only fear I felt in that moment was that I might lose him. "I'm going to fix this." I unbuckled my seat belt. "Now."

I fumbled out of the car and swung to the house, my jaw set as I strode towards my dad. A flicker of surprise crossed his expression before his frown deepened. I climbed the steps to the porch, puffing out my chest with what I hoped wasn't false bravery. "Dad," I said in a low voice, staring at him intently. "What are you doing home so early?"

"Shouldn't I be the one asking the questions here?" His voice was equally low, clearly working to contain his anger.

I refused to let any hesitancy mar my next words, speaking evenly, "I got a ride home from my boyfriend. What more do you want to know?"

"Since when is Edward Cullen your boyfriend?" Charlie's control waivered first, his voice getting louder as his hands rose to his hips.

"Since today," I replied, forcing myself to stay calm.

That surprised him and I realized he must have finally gotten wind of some of the rumors that had been swirling for months at this point. My claim that things had only started today obviously contradicted what he'd heard, catching him off guard. The red that had been climbing into his tanned face subsided, his mouth gaping for a split second. "Bella," he began, reclaiming his anger. "I don't think he's boyfriend material."

I took a deep breath, pushing down my own anger, my desire to lash out, to defend Edward. Crossing my arms over my chest, I was proud to hear my voice remain calm and even. "I'm sorry you feel that way."

The red was climbing into his cheeks again and he leaned forward, gritting out, "Is that all you have to say?"

A hint of irritation crept into my voice. "I don't know what you want me to tell you, Dad. I'm not going to stop seeing him because you, or Marge down at the station or Waylon at the diner, disapprove."

"Now, Bella--" That was always the tone he took when he thought I was being stubborn.

"He's important, Dad." I emphasized each word, struggling to contain my fury.

We stood silently on the porch, glaring at each other…before suddenly it was over, Charlie looking away and dropping his arms. "Fine." I couldn't relax, unwilling to believe he wasn't going to resist further. "But we're going to lay some ground rules when I get back from the station. And you are certainly not spending the night over there again."

"Fine, Dad," I spit out, realizing the ground rules were likely to be another battle.

"And you'd better introduce us properly, Bells." I didn't point out that I would have if he hadn't caught me by surprise.

Edward was still sitting in the Volvo but quickly climbed out when he saw us approach, his hands twitching nervously at his sides, no doubt longing to run them through his hair. I repressed a grin at the thought, my own hands shoved in my pockets. "Dad, this is Edward Cullen. Edward, this is Charlie, my dad."

It was possibly the most tense handshake I'd ever seen, Charlie's glower never faltering while Edward struggled to appear both unnerved and solicitous. "It's nice to meet you, sir."

Charlie merely grunted in response, turning back to the cruiser and calling over his shoulder. "I'll be home by five."

I sagged with relief when his car turned the corner, closing my eyes that the worst part was over. Edward's voice was light, gently touching my wrist, pulling my hand from my pocket and twining his fingers through mine. "I'm important, huh?"

My startled eyes flew to his face. "Did you hear that?" He shrugged and I shook my head, realizing it didn't matter. "I'm sorry," I said sincerely. "I should have told him sooner--" He was shaking his head, opening his mouth to interrupt. "No, Edward. When we were _friends_, I should have told him. There's no excuse."

"Of course there is. He knows better than anyone, I'm sure, why I'm no good for you."

"Edward!" I searched his face but didn't see any mockery there, his words serious. "Don't say that. It's just not true." He smiled slightly, sadly, raising our joined hands to kiss my knuckles.

"I should go." I bit my lips to keep from disagreeing, longing for him to stay. He turned, opening the car door, his grasp loosening on my hand. Before I could stop myself, I tightened my grip, tugging him back towards me. When he turned with a faint look of surprise, I strained up on tip toes and pressed my lips to his.

It had stung, that he thought I could be embarrassed of him…but I knew it must have hurt him far worse to realize I'd had all weekend to fill Charlie in but failed to do so. I vaguely knew how others saw him, judged him as an outcast, a loner, a snob, but it had long ago stopped factoring into my opinion of him, if it ever had. I couldn't bear for him to think I gave any credit to those perceptions, I wanted him to understand it was only my insecurity and cowardice that had kept me from speaking up, that I wasn't embarrassed. So I kissed him as forcefully as I could, knowing we were in the middle of the street for all of the world to see, uncaring. I allowed myself to get carried away with the intensity of what I felt for him, pushing my fingers through the hair at his nape, darting my tongue out to his bottom lip, exhaling with satisfaction when he groaned and opened his mouth. Edward's arms tightened around my waist, crushing me to him…it was my turn to moan, the sound muffled against his mouth.

He tore away, panting, dropping his forehead to my shoulder. "Bella." He was at a loss for words and I smiled, pleased I could affect him as much as he did me.

"I'm not embarrassed," I whispered.

"I believe you." He planted a kiss on the end of my nose, his arms reluctantly loosening. "But you're making it very hard to leave."

"Good." Edward grinned, kissing me one more time, quickly, chastely, before climbing into his car.


	22. Prep & Privacy

**Disclaimer: **Anything recognizable belongs to Stephenie Meyer. Huge thanks to vysed, Bella's Decathexis and everyone else who has reviewed. & thank you to anyone (looking at LASMKE) who has recommended _Nicknames_ to others.

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**Twenty-Two**

The ground rules weren't ideal but neither were they as brutal as I'd feared. I could mostly credit Renee for that and might have appreciated her interference more had it not come with its own price.

"So tell me all about him!"

"Mom…" The word was drawn out, a reluctant groan.

"Isabella Marie Swan, are you really going to leave your mother hanging?" I hadn't actually been the one to tell her, which I knew made her feel slighted. I still couldn't quite believe that Charlie had confided in her, somehow imagining my free-spirited mom would be on his side.

I don't think he'd yet recovered from her squeals of glee, from her adamant insistence that he trust me, or from her warning that if he suddenly got more strict with me, he could expect me to be pregnant at nineteen. The slightly sick expression on his face when he handed me the phone filled me with sympathy. "Dad?"

"Just talk to her, Bells," he muttered, his hand over his stomach as if he might physically be ill.

"Dad, you know I'm not going to get preg--"

"Don't say it!" he barked, scurrying down the hallway, desperate to get away.

"Is he tall or short? Does he have any piercings?" Renee's voice pried again and I closed my eyes, stifling another groan.

"I don't think so." Not that I'd seen, anyways. The thought of Edward with a belly button piercing made me want to giggle but I bit my lips to keep from making a sound, not wanting my mom to hear.

"What else?"

"Um…he's adopted. His dad is a doctor at the hospital. He's got a brother and a sister--"

"How does that work if he's adopted?"

"Well, they're all adopted." I paused, thinking. "They sometimes call their parents by their names but they never refer to each other as anything but brother and sister."

"What generous people his parents must be," Renee breathed.

"Yeah, I think they are," I said thinking of Esme's gentle warmth and Carlisle's calm demeanor.

"So you know to be safe, right?"

"Mooooom!"

"I'm serious, baby. You have your whole life in front of you and I know you wouldn't bother with this boy if you weren't serious. You're not flighty like your mother." I just bit my lip, not wanting to admit that she was right.

After the mortification of that conversation, Charlie called me to the kitchen table where he uncomfortably told me he expected me to be home no later than nine on week nights and by midnight on Friday and Saturday. I didn't argue, thinking that was far more lenient than I had anticipated. "I expect you to get your school work done no matter what's going on so if I see your grades slipping, we'll have to revisit this."

"Okay, Dad."

It felt bizarre to even need this conversation given my social life hadn't been active enough to require curfews before. To my frustration, Edward didn't seem eager to take advantage of my dad's leniency, dropping me off after school all week without offering to linger. I didn't know if he was worried about Charlie's wrath and wasn't sure how to reassure him given his first encounter with my dad had been so abysmal. Charlie might as well have broken out his shotgun.

In any case, I was reassured that my time spent with him wasn't going to be limited to school hours when he invited me over on Friday. "Alice wants help preparing for dinner on Saturday," he said casually. I tried not to frown, disappointed he was bringing me over for Alice rather than himself.

"Okay." I would give my dad a call when we got there so he knew where I was.

I was surprised by how tense I felt when we arrived, reluctantly lingering in the car. I was filled with nerves at the thought of meeting Esme as Edward's girlfriend rather than an inconsequential partner on a school project. Edward sensed my tension, his eyes on my mouth as I chewed my bottom lip raw. In the half gloom of the garage, he raised a finger and gently touched the swollen flesh. Though his gaze was concerned, I felt a strange flare in my belly at the sensation of his smooth finger against my skin. I closed my eyes, mortified at where my thoughts were heading right before seeing his mother again.

I lurched away from his touch, fumbling out of the car with jerking breaths. He caught up to me before I'd gotten far, placing a steadying hand in the small of my back, his lips grazing my hair. I was calmed by the affectionate motions, glancing up at him briefly for reassurance. Edward's green eyes smiled back and I took a deep breath before entering the house.

"Bella!" If I thought Esme had been pleased to see me before, her sincere embrace made me realize I'd had no idea.

"Esme," I responded, blushing for no reason.

"I can't tell you how good it is to finally see you again." The warmth of her eyes was genuine. She didn't fully pull away, her hands lingering on my upper arms. "Alice and Emmett should be home soon with the Hales; I believe Rosalie drove today." She glanced at Edward for confirmation and he nodded. "Since Alice is in charge of this show, you should feel free to relax until she gets here."

Before I'd fully registered her words, Edward's hand was on mine, tugging me back to the main room and up the stairs. "Where are we going?"

"To have some privacy before Alice steals you from me."

"But I thought that's why I was here," I protested in confusion, nearly tripping at the speed with which he was pulling me along.

Edward reluctantly slowed, glancing over his shoulder as we reached the end of the hallway. "It was the only reason I could think of."

"Do you need a reason?" I challenged, then stopped short as I followed him through the doorway. We were in what appeared to be his bedroom.

"Um, this is your room?" I asked dumbly.

I could hear the smile in his voice, suddenly unable to meet his eyes. "Yeah."

The room was long and narrow, a bed taking up one wall, shelves lined with books and music dominating the other. A desk next to the door was littered with papers, a laptop, and more books, a distinctly modern lamp in chrome pushed to the corner of the surface. A leather chair sat opposite the foot of the bed, the window behind it nearly taking up the entire wall. I drifted in, my hands nervously sinking into my back pockets, my eyes drawn to the plethora of books.

I was somehow unsurprised there weren't pictures of supermodels or stolen street signs on the walls. What had Carlisle said? Esme thought of the Cullens as old souls. There was something decidedly adult about the clean interior. "I like it," I said softly, turning around.

I was rewarded with a crooked smile as he ambled towards me, determinedly placing his hands on my hips. "I like you."

"Yeah?" My voice was barely a whisper, staring up at him with wide eyes as he came closer, closer, his lips closing over mine. This time there was no pause between the beginning of the kiss and the gentle, sensuous touch of his tongue to my lips, urging my mouth open. I exhaled softly, closing my eyes tightly as the kiss deepened, tentatively touching his tongue with my own, pleased when I felt his sharp inhale.

Edward's hands drifted up my ribs and I mimicked the motion, intrigued by the firm feeling of him, letting my hands trail around his back and up his spine, pulling him closer. His mouth slid away from mine, tracing down my cheek to my throat. I gasped at the sensation, then flinched as his fingers fluttered inches beneath my armpit.

Edward pulled away, his expression concerned. I blushed furiously, ducking my head. "It tickles," I said, annoyed at myself for breaking the embrace. I looked up as I felt him shaking, my brows lowering as I saw he was failing to stifle his laughter. "It's not funny!" I protested, my cheeks flaming even brighter.

Edward didn't respond, instead repeating the motion with both hands, his fingers tormenting. "No!" I shrieked, trying to twist away.

"Yes!" He laughed, arms tightening around me as he continued to tickle me. Breathless giggles erupted from my lips, trying to curl up and pull away in the same motion. Tears of laughter started to leak from my eyes. "You're mine," he growled playfully, pulling me closer.

"Edward!" Trying to curl up into a defensive position wasn't working and I was losing all air, laughing hysterically. I instinctively changed tactics, arching my back, trying to get away from his torturous hands. I heard him suck in a breath before I realized how the movement pushed the entire line of my body into his, my laughter abruptly dying as his hands stilled.

The instant my wide, surprised eyes met his, the shocked expression there transformed into stark hunger. His hands rose to my neck, holding me firmly in place as his lips crashed to mine, teeth knocking, the kiss devouring in its intensity. I couldn't resist, lost in the sensation of his mouth moving against mine, as if he could consume me. I didn't realize we had drifted across the room until the bed was bumping against the back of my knees, awkwardly falling onto the soft mattress.

Edward didn't hesitate, the kiss breaking off for only a second before his mouth was insistently covering mine again, his hands caressing my cheeks, my throat, the slope of my shoulders, pushing at the neckline of my shirt. I threaded my fingers in his hair, tongue twisting against his, the weight of him overwhelming. The flame in my belly was wildly unfurling and I shifted against him, trying to soothe the tickle of it, unable to smile at his muted growl, my own moan escaping against his lips.

"Damn, Jasper. I told you I'd win the bet."

"Fuck." Edward leapt off of me in a movement so swift, I didn't register he was off the bed until I felt his hand on my wrist, jerking me to my feet. I gasped as my eyes took in Emmett and Jasper in the doorway and quickly shifted to hide behind Edward, my cheeks on fire.

"Ever heard of knocking?" Edward asked, his anger barely suppressed.

"Could have shut the door," Emmett grinned.

Jasper simply rolled his eyes, unimpressed by their posturing. "Alice sent us up here to get Bella."

"She had one of her premonitions," Emmett added. "She said she didn't want to see her own brother getting it on."

"Only because she's been traumatized by how often she's caught you and Rose at it," Jasper shot back. He shoved Emmett gently, pushing him back down the hall. "We'll give you guys a second," he added sympathetically.

"I'm sorry," Edward breathed when the sound of their retreating feet faded away.

"It's okay," I forced out a laugh and tucked my hair behind my ears, hoping it wasn't too wild. A sudden thought occurred to me and I paled. "Crap. I forgot to call my dad."

Edward nodded, running a hand through his hair. The worry about my dad kept the flush from my cheeks as I trotted back down to the main room. Esme was curled up on the loveseat with a book and happily lent me her phone. I made sure to cover all of my bases, leaving a message both on the ancient answering machine my dad still used at home, as well as with the dispatcher at the station.

I thanked Esme then drifted into the kitchen where I could hear pans and cutlery clattering. Alice and Rosalie were busy moving between the fridge and the counters, arranging a variety of food, some of which I couldn't identify. Edward kissed my cheek before heading downstairs where I could faintly hear Emmett and Jasper arguing over who had won at MarioKart.

"How can I help?" I asked.

Alice smiled brightly when she saw me and set me to rinsing and chopping chives and green onions for a massive stir fry. Her small hands were a blur as she crushed peanuts for the Tang Yuan. Rosalie settled in at the breakfast bar, her beautiful features tense with concentration as she carefully unfolded paper lanterns; they had been packed flat into a box that sat at her feet, some in the shape of spheres, others cubes and several intricate pagodas.

"So what's Tang Yuan's origin?" I asked, hoping Alice hadn't already explained this at some point in the past month.

If she had, she wasn't bothered by explaining again, her voice breathy with excitement. "In eastern Asia they have a winter festival. It's all to do with yin and yang and balance," she continued. "After the solstice, there'll be an increase in daylight and therefore more positive energy!"

"As if you need more positive energy," Rosalie spoke up wryly, raising her eyes briefly from the bright red lantern in her hands.

Alice stuck out her tongue over her shoulder and then pulled a brick of what looked like red dough from the fridge. At my intrigued stare, she explained, "This is the red bean paste. It's one of the ingredients in Tang Yuan." At my continued confused expression she elaborated. "It's a rice ball, really mildly sweet. I used to be able to get them all of the time in Seattle, in the International District."

"I haven't been." At Rosalie's doubtful look, I added, "I don't think the airport counts."

"We should go! A weekend trip to Seattle would be so much fun!" Alice exclaimed, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

I bit my lip, wondering what Charlie would think. "What?" Rosalie asked, catching the expression with too sharp eyes.

"My dad's been protective lately," I sighed. "He probably wouldn't stop me, but I think he might make it difficult."

"Hey, at least he cares," Rosalie responded, her voice matter-of-fact. I looked up and was taken aback by her frank gaze. "I doubt anyone would notice or protest if I was gone." There wasn't any resentment in her tone, which was surprising given her usual baleful demeanor.

"I guess…yeah…" I stuttered weakly. "He does care." Renee did, too, in her own, invasive way.

"Be glad of that," Rosalie said firmly, rising from her stool and reaching into the box for another lantern.

The windows were dark when Alice finally released us from kitchen duty, packing the chopped vegetables and marinating meat into the fridge with a satisfied sweep of her hands. The guys amiably switched from video games to a movie and I curled into the crook of Edward's arm for the remainder of the evening.

As he was driving me home, I remembered Rosalie's words and couldn't help my curiosity. "Why don't Jasper and Rosalie's parents care about them being over at your house so much?" I asked. Despite my bravery, I felt my cheeks warm at my own boldness.

Edward's glanced at me before returning his gaze to the darkened, wet roads. That he didn't dodge the question made me happy, pleased that he trusted me. "Their parents got divorced right after they moved to Forks. According to Jasper, their mother thought they'd all move to Boston, where she's from, when his dad's political career was over. Instead, his dad married one of his campaign volunteers. She's…" he paused, as if calculating in his head. "Six years older than us."

My jaw dropped, trying to imagine Charlie doing such a thing and completely unable to picture it.

"I met Jasper the summer before school started. He would hang out in the basement with me and Emmett, or we'd get up to trouble in the woods around the house. His dad was too…distracted to notice—or care—how much Jasper was gone." Edward paused, then smiled. "I couldn't figure out why Alice was suddenly tagging along; she hates getting wet or dirty." I laughed softly, easily able to imagine the lengths the petite pixie might go to in order to capture the attention of her crush. "Then school started and Emmett had algebra with Rosalie. She stabbed him with a pencil when he grabbed her ass and they've been together ever since."

He turned onto my street, his faint grin glinting in the darkness of the car. "You know Esme has a soft spot for anyone in need and the Hales certainly qualified. First it was afternoons after school, then afternoons and evenings…and every weekend, too. Jasper got away with spending the night first, playing it off as if it was an accident, too tired to drive--"

I cut him off, too surprised to hide it. "And Esme and Carlisle don't care?"

The Volvo silently drew up behind Charlie's cruiser. Edward's voice was thoughtful when he spoke next, "I think they did at first…but you have to understand," he paused again, struggling for the right words. "None of us were supposed to even graduate high school, especially Alice. I think they felt like we were doing everything else right, good grades, perfect attendance…so it didn't make sense to be strict about it.

"Then, too, they had the example of the Hales—their dad didn't give two shits when Jasper stayed the night but suddenly lost it when Rosalie wanted to do the same thing. Putting his foot down meant she was sneaking around and lying constantly. Carlisle and Esme didn't want us to ever be in the same position."

"It sounds very fair," I allowed.

"That's exactly what they are." There was admiration in his voice. "Even though no charges were filed after the mess at the reservation, there was no way Emmett or I were going to avoid _their_ punishment."

"Which was?"

"If I'd actually been driving and charges were pressed my license would have been suspended, so they took my keys away for six months. And no overnight guests, which of course only meant Rosalie." Edward paused then added, "If her father had thought Emmett was driving, she would have been forbidden from seeing him."

"It was incredibly selfless of you, to do that for Emmett."

He shrugged. "Rosalie doesn't like being in anybody's debt so I don't think I'd do it again."

"I certainly hope not!" I cried, leaning towards him. Sensing my nearness in the darkness, Edward's lips found mine, too sweet, his hand reaching up to my nape, pulling me close. "Edward," I sighed as his face moved to my hair, inhaling deeply.

"Argh," he groaned, leaning away. "I'd like to be able to walk you to the door without looking as if I'm going to eat you up."

I lifted my eyes at the probably accurate prediction of Charlie glaring balefully from the front window. I repressed my sigh, though, knowing I should be grateful.


	23. Solstice

**Disclaimer**: Characters and recognizable elements are all Ms. Meyers. Reviewers get a teaser of the next chapter...

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**Twenty-Three**

The light coming through the windows was too bright the next morning, the windows nearly glowing. I smiled at the thought that I'd experienced enough of Forks volatile weather to know that meant it had snowed again, the weak morning light reflecting off the sparkling crystals.

I lingered beneath the covers, reluctant to leave the warmth of my bed. Charlie's voice shouting up the stairs cut my enjoyment short. "Bells? Your friend Alice is on the phone. She seems kind of…frantic."

"She always sounds like that, Dad," I called downstairs as I hurried through the door. Charlie was stingy with the thermostat and I was shivering, wrapping my arms around myself for warmth.

"Nice hair, Bells," he teased me as I rounded the corner.

"Thanks, Dad." I rolled my eyes but felt a tug of affection that he was being normal with me.

I put the phone to my ear. "Hey, Alice."

"Why aren't you over yet? I told you eight o'clock--"

"I thought you were joking…"

"It's the shortest day of the year! We have a lot to fit in!"

"Okay, okay," I tried to soothe her. "Can you give me an hour?"

"Fine," I could hear the pout in her voice. "I wish you could spend the night, too—" The faint sound of Edward growling Alice's name followed by swearing interrupted her words. "Don't forget what I said to wear!" She spoke in a rush before the phone suddenly went dead.

I was caught between the urge to laugh and dismay that I had no idea what she'd told me to wear. I picked my brain but I'd been so blissed out curled up next to Edward on the sofa, all I could recall was murmuring in agreement to whatever she'd said. I took a deep breath. There wasn't a lot of variety to my wardrobe so whatever I wore would have to do.

Forty-five minutes later I was standing in the only skirt I owned having convinced myself that Alice had said to dress nicely for the solstice dinner. I hadn't worn it since leaving Phoenix and had yet to buy the tights that would be necessary to wear it in this weather. I pawed through my dresser until I found the black knee high socks that would have to substitute. I added black loafers that were actually gray with dust, a camisole, and my favorite cardigan. Edward could suck it if it reminded him of his grandmother.

I fumbled into my rain coat, debated wearing my heavy snow boots with the skirt, then finally headed outside in the loafers.

The snowfall had been light, a powdery dust that made everything clean and bright. I sang along to the radio as I made my way out of town, then felt a momentary flutter of panic that I wouldn't be able to find the turn off for the Cullen house. To my relief, a bright red lantern had been planted at the end of the drive, fluttering from the branch of a fir like a beacon.

I maneuvered carefully down the drive, knowing it would be just my luck to hit a patch of ice and skid into the house. I managed to avoid that catastrophe and threw the truck into park in front of the garage, taking a deep breath as I hopped down.

Alice came bounding through the front door before I'd even reached the shallow steps of the porch, careening towards me with excitement. Her small figure was nearly enveloped in a patterned apron. "Bella!" Her embrace was surprisingly strong, wheeling away before I had time to return it. "I just started making the dough!" I trailed after her into the house, shedding my coat as I closed the door behind me.

"Bella, it's good to see you again." Carlisle was reclined before a blazing fire, a book spread on his lap. He set it aside and rose to give me a hug. I noticed he didn't look overly dressy, a black sweater over a collared shirt, his blond hair brilliant against the dark clothing.

"You, too, Dr. Cullen."

"Carlisle to you, Bella." His smile was warm. "Edward's in the shower but I think everyone else is in the kitchen." He inclined his head towards the sound of voices, bubbling water, and what sounded like a…drum? "I'm not allowed," he added conspiratorially.

"Only because I want this to truly be your day off, darling!" Esme's voice cried from around the corner.

I followed the sound of the voice and found most of the family, along with the Hales, crowded into the kitchen. With five people, the space almost appeared small. Esme was bent over the oven, her caramel hair falling around her face, examining a fragrant pie on the rack. Jasper stood at the counter, intently focused on the small ball of paste in his hands, using his elbow to push his wavy hair out of his eyes. Emmett sat at the breakfast bar, still in his flannel pajama pants and tee shirt, a bongo drum balanced between his knees, tapping at sporadic intervals. I could see Rosalie beyond the doorway in the dining room, fussing over the tangle of lanterns and flowers that covered the table.

"Do you want to make some?" Alice asked, her gaze bright and excited as she held up a giant mixing bowl filled with what looked like white paste.

"Sure," I said, trying to keep the uncertainty from my voice.

"You'll need a bit of flour on your hands to keep it from sticking--"

"Are you sure you added enough to the dough to begin with?" Esme asked, a frown briefly furrowing her smooth brow.

"I think so, but I might add more to be safe," Alice answered uncertainly before continuing. "Then you take a bit and roll it between your hands, making a ball."

"Balls," Emmett chortled, smacking the top of the drum. Alice rolled her eyes.

"Jasper is making some filled with red bean paste but those are a little trickier," she explained.

"Maybe I'll try that after I get the hang of the plain ones," I offered, dipping my hands into the bowl of flour.

"Perfect!" Alice was so enthusiastic, it was impossible not to get swept along in her random tasks.

My head was soon bent over the tray where I was carefully lining up the little glutinous balls. Jasper stood on my right, a bowl of flour on the counter between us, occasionally dipping our hands into the powder when the dough began sticking to our fingers. "You here to see how the balls are coming?" Emmett disrupted the quiet and I realized Edward was finished with his shower, presently turning the corner into the kitchen.

He smirked at his brother before his eyes found me. He stopped short, a frown flitting across his brow, before he smiled slightly. A brief twinge of worry gave me pause but he was soon at my side, landing a chaste kiss on top of my head. "Having fun making a traditional Chinese dessert?"

"Yes, actually."

"Don't knock it 'til you try it," Jasper added.

"Alright, alright. The things we do for you, Alice."

With three people on what Emmett called 'ball-duty,' the Tang Yuan was soon prepped for boiling. Alice granted us a break and while I hoped Edward might take me off to his room again, we instead sprawled around the living room, bathing in the warmth of the fire place. I asked about past solstice celebrations and unintentionally set off a round of reminiscing.

"The year you made pigs' feet was the worst," Emmett cried. "The smell…!"

"I had to have the curtains drycleaned," Esme admitted before Alice could protest.

"Well, if they would have gotten eaten, the smell wouldn't have lingered!" Alice was defiant.

"Are you kidding me?! Between that and the snouts, you're lucky I didn't blow chunks! Snouty chunks!" Emmett was indignant.

"Snouts and pig feet?" I asked quietly.

"Latvian," Edward whispered back, his fingers trailing over my wrist.

"The shortbread was good. Just so time consuming," Rosalie changed the subject. She and Emmett sat on the floor, her head on his lap, blond hair spilling over his legs.

"Yeah, you should make that again, " Emmett agreed.

"When you start helping in the kitchen, you can make suggestions," Alice shoved his shoulder playfully.

"The Celtic one was the weirdest," Jasper spoke quietly, his voice almost lost to the crackle of the fire.

"Putting soot on my face had me worried the NAACP was going to break the door down," Emmett grumbled.

"They have better things to do, Emmett," Carlisle laughed.

"I was still deeply uncomfortable," he insisted with a sniff.

"Yeah, I wasn't crazy about it," Edward admitted.

"Only because you're a neat freak!" Alice cried, getting defensive. "Anyone who has their socks organized by color is obviously going to lose it when they have a little soot--"

"It was ashes from the fireplace and you know Emmett throws random crap in there when no one's looking."

"Dude, aluminum foil makes really cool colors when it burns."

Rosalie was laughing so hard she rolled off of Emmett's lap, sitting up to catch her breath.

"Your socks are organized by color?" I asked, turning to Edward with lifted brows.

"No," he said uncomfortably.

"Are you lying?" I asked, surprised he wasn't able to hide it.

"Just look the next time you're up there," Emmett suggested. "If he lets you up for air."

"Emmett," Esme warned, though it was already too late, my cheeks flaming. "Why don't you help me get the roast in the oven," she added before an awkward silence could develop, deliberately not looking in my direction as she rose from the loveseat and headed towards the kitchen.

"Fine," Emmett grumbled.

Alice's arms were crossed in front of her chest, clearly in a huff as everyone recollected the various customs they'd adopted for this day in the past. "Well, if no one wants rice balls--"

"Balls!" Emmett shouted from the kitchen.

"Ignore him," Rosalie threw an arm around Alice's shoulder, her voice dismissive. "You know how much fun we have."

"She's absolutely right," Carlisle agreed.

"Though there isn't enough money in the world to make me eat pig snout," Rosalie laughed, rearing away as Alice swatted at her.

The time passed far too quickly and soon we were filing into the formal dining room, the rich smell of roast mixing with the spicy scent of stir fry.

My mouth fell open upon entering the room, astonished at the effort that had gone into transforming the space. Lanterns in jewel colors were strung along the walls, the intricate designs on the semi-transparent rice paper illuminated by the lights within. More lanterns hung from each corner of the table, gently bobbing in the wake of people passing to take their seats. The cream of the table cloth was nearly obscured by garlands of holly berries, poinsettia blooms and other flowers in blood red colors that I didn't recognize. Red candles flickered on heavy crystal bases, scattered amongst the flowers. I almost didn't see the simple black stoneware that marked each place setting, the plates nearly obscured by the masks on top.

"I have to give Rosalie all the credit for how fabulous this all looks!" Alice clapped exuberantly.

"Rosalie, you have outdone yourself," Esme's voice was breathless with admiration.

"You could very well follow in Esme's footsteps," Carlisle agreed, taking his seat at the head of the table. I was surprised to see Rosalie duck her golden head with a smile at the compliment.

"Emmett, if you'll sit here, Jasper there…" Alice began pointing, directing everyone to their seats. "Now, I know the traditions have mostly been related to the Chinese winter festival but I couldn't resist when I read about the masks they wear in the Bahamas for the same day." Her voice was reaching that pitch that only other small, over-excited creatures could hear. "I made sure to buy ones that won't get in the way when you're eating!"

Though I'd heard her and Edward mention the masks multiple times over the past weeks, I felt a flutter of trepidation as I looked at the wide, feathered object sitting on my plate. I knew I couldn't refuse Alice anything but I had a vision of somehow catching the thing on fire while it was still on my face. When Carlisle and Esme donned theirs with indulgent laughs, I knew I couldn't wait any longer and picked it up, placing it at my eyes and pulling the elastic strap over my head.

"Yes!" Emmett got my attention first and I felt the strange flutter of the feathers as the mask moved with my turning head. I laughed to see him transformed into a devil, the red satin of his mask covering the top half of his face, horns jutting past his curly hair. "This is awesome, Alice! Better than Halloween."

"Aw, thanks, Emmett!" Alice's mask was the only one to cover more than her eyes and forehead, a bird's beak in brilliant painted colors flaring over her nose. Blue eyes peered brightly from the purple and green hues of the mask, replicating the brilliant colors of a peacock, two plumes of real feathers flaring from the center near her hairline.

She had been more modest with what she provided for her parents, Carlisle's mask a simple black satin, his hazel eyes amused as he gazed down the table. Esme's was the same, only in white. "Bella, your mask takes the cake," she smiled at me. I could feel myself blushing and glanced over at Edward, hoping I didn't look too foolish.

If I thought his expression was often difficult to read, it was impossible with half of his face obscured by a mask. The material was difficult to make out from across the table but it looked as if it might be leather, the surface ridged to look like the glittering scales of a reptile. I narrowed my eyes and realized there were points above his eyes, almost like… "A dragon," I smiled.

His lips quirked. "It's perfect," Rosalie spoke, leaning around Emmett, her mouth wry. "Given you can be a fire-breathing monster."

"Takes one to know--"

"Edward," Carlisle's voice was stern. "Why don't I carve the roast?"

"That's what I'm talking about," Emmett called.

Rosalie smiled at her boyfriend, gorgeous even with half of her face hidden. Her mask perfectly suited her beauty, the silk petals of flowers unfurling around her eyes, the rose and pink colors complementing her golden coloring.

"It really is amazing, Alice," Jasper said quietly, clasping her hand on top of the table. I peered around Alice and smiled at the sight of him in a more masculine version of his sister's mask, green leaves flaring like stars around his eyes.

Alice squirmed in her chair, her delight practically contagious.

Platters were passed around as the inane mix of roast, stir fry, potatoes, dumplings, and fresh bread was served. It was slightly confusing to look up from my food and instead of seeing Emmett's familiar dimples, see a devil staring back. I probably would have found it difficult to jump into the conversation under typical circumstances but that disorientation kept me mostly quiet. Still, I enjoyed listening to the banter between the Cullens and the Hales…simply making sure I never got too close to the candles.

Esme and Alice rose once Emmett had enjoyed thirds to fetch the pies and Tang Yuan that were serving as dessert. I was surprised to enjoy the mild sweetness of the rice balls, giggling as Emmett started singing under his breath. "Balls, balls, my plate is full of balls…" He sang until Edward's elbow found his ribs.

When the table was a wreck of wilting flowers, dripping, melted candles, and dirtied plates, I thought I might be able to fall asleep in my chair. "This has been wonderful, Alice," I said sincerely. "Thank you so much for inviting me."

"It's not over yet, silly!" she cried. Her eyes were wide behind the mask.

"You don't have to go, do you?" Edward asked quietly.

"I thought you didn't turn into a pumpkin until midnight?" Rosalie actually looked perturbed at the thought of my going.

"Right. I didn't know…"

"Alice has more traditions in store." Was Rosalie smiling at me? It really was a solstice miracle.

"This one we do every year, though," Edward added.

"Oh." I had no idea where this was going and tried not to worry. I hadn't set my face on fire at dinner so I figured I was doing well.

"You kids go on. Carlisle will help me clean up," Esme urged.

"I thought it was my day off," he joked.

"Are you sure…?" I started.

"Bella," Esme turned to me, her tone firm.

"I've got it, Mom," Edward laughed, rising from his seat, coming to my side, and taking my hand.

We trailed after Jasper and Alice out to the kitchen and into the main room. I could hear them shuffling into their coats and hats but was startled by the reflection in the dark pane of the window.

When I was nine, my mom had insisted on giving me a perm despite my adamant protesting. I had walked around for weeks startled by the person in the mirror, never quite getting used to the change. With the mask, it was very much the same thing though thankfully far more temporary.

I recognized the figure in the reflection though the skirt I rarely wore was doing little for making the image seem familiar. The feathered mask looked even more dramatic in the half gloom of the darkened windows, violet feathers flaring from my cheekbones up to my brows, my eyes nearly impossible to discern. The cascade of chocolate hair over my shoulders somehow suited the wanton look of the mask, just as Alice's spiky hair complemented the avian theme of hers.

"You're coming aren't you?" Alice asked. "Bella, did you bring clothes?"

"Uh, no…" I whirled from the reflection, "I thought I just needed to look…nice."

"Oh, that's why you wore a skirt!" she said with sudden understanding.

"I thought that was for Edward," Emmett commented, moving towards the door to grab his own coat.

"I think I'm too small…" Alice was troubled.

"And I'm too tall," Rosalie frowned. "But it should be fine," she turned to Alice, her brow clearing. "I mean, as long as she doesn't fall…"

The room went very quiet and I felt my cheeks flame. Edward's hand tightened around mine. "Can someone explain to me what the plan is?" I asked, suddenly impatient.

"We're going snowshoeing," Edward said, pushing his mask up to his forehead and pinching the bridge of his nose.

"So pants and boots would be appropriate," Rosalie elaborated. I felt my mouth gape as I looked around, realizing that she and Alice were indeed wearing pants.

"I want to go," I said softly, a strange feeling of desperation erupting in my stomach at being left behind…or of having to cut the evening short…or of making Edward miss out because I hadn't listened to Alice.

He squeezed my hand. "Then you'll go," he said softly.

Emmett whooped at that, barreling into the garage to fetch the equipment. "Is it hard?" I asked. Edward shook his head, smiling as Emmett reappeared weighed down with the awkward contraptions. "We'll make it work."

With that, we put on our coats and headed into the darkness.


	24. Snowshoe

**Disclaimer:** Characters are S. Meyers. Reviewers get a teaser.

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**Twenty-Four**

If I'd been told that I would have spent the first weekend of winter break trying to snowshoe in loafers, a skirt, and a wild mask of feathers, I would have wondered what drugs were involved.

I was certain I was cutting off the circulation in Edward's hand, my grip tight with fear and anxiety as I struggled on the infernal devices that were supposed to make it easier to walk in the snow. I thought I was doing a pretty good approximation of a lungfish, flopping along while he effortlessly glided over the powder covered ground at my side.

The others had already wandered away in the darkness, moving far faster than me, disappearing into the woods that surrounded the Cullen house. I could occassionally hear Alice giggle or Rosalie swear, the sound sudden and loud, disrupting the quiet hush of the forest at night.

Strangely, it didn't feel quite like night, the moon bright overhead, the light it provided reflecting in a dull glow against the snow that coated the ground. Here, absent the presence of people or cars, the snow was pristine, brilliantly white. Even with the mask, I could see it sparkle when the moonlight hit it at the right angle.

"We did this in Seattle, too," Edward began, possibly trying to distract me from my awkward tromping. "Of course, in the city, we had to settle for the park. It doesn't snow as reliably there, either." I tried to think of an appropriate response but was breathless with the effort of lifting and placing my snowshoed feet on the ground. "Alice and Emmett and I went to Discovery Park—it wasn't far from the house." I nodded, trying not to wheeze. "It's partly a military base. Of course, none of us could resist breaking into one of the unoccupied buildings there, despite the fact that the base is still somewhat active."

My eyes were wide behind the mask. "Did you get caught?"

Edward chuckled. "I can say without a doubt the military police are far more frightening than the regular police. I actually thought Emmett swallowed his tongue."

My snort of laughter was lost in the sound of my lungs laboring to get oxygen. I tugged on Edward's hand, pulling him to a stop. His mask was still pushed up to his forehead so I could see the question in his eyes as he turned to me. I held up a finger, indicating I needed a minute. When I'd caught my breath, I said, "I'm surprised Esme and Carlisle let Alice continue the tradition then."

Edward shrugged, looking away. "Well that incident, along with other things, were what prompted the move here. Or anyways, the social worker suggested it and they took the advice."

"Oh." I was surprised and hoped my inability to breathe would hide it. The homecoming game seemed like a very long time ago but I remembered with perfect clarity Mike claiming the Cullens moved to Forks because of expulsions.

"Because we'd have less opportunity to get in trouble," Edward added, taking my hand and continuing over the snowy ground. "As you can see."

I could, gazing out at the lonely beauty of the forest around us. I imagined it was a drastic contrast to metropolitan Seattle. It seemed a huge sacrifice for Carlisle and Esme, relocating from their jobs and friends and the sophistication that must have been at the heart of their lives there. But they had done it, just as Renee had remained at home for another six months while I finished up my junior year, and just as Charlie had accepted without question having a teenager in his house.

A sudden crack disrupted the quiet and I felt my ankle twist before my foot flew free of the snowshoe clamps. I nearly went down on my knees but Edward's hand tightened on mine, spinning and shooting out his other hand to grab my arm. "No you don't," he muttered, catching me to his chest.

I was already breathless from the exertion of walking in the snowshoes and now couldn't get air from the shock of nearly face-planting in the snow. "What _did_ you do?" Edward asked, his grasp loosening around my arms, bending down to the ground.

I tried to stand upright but felt my loafered foot sinking into the snow. I squeaked as the cold began to penetrate the thin fabric of my sock, shifting to try and balance my free foot on the snowshoe I still wore. The awkward weight distribution threatened my already poor balance and I began to wobble, throwing my arms out as Edward stood upright with the broken snowshoe in one hand.

With a curse he threw it back down, arms snaking around my waist to keep me from falling. "Christ, Bella."

"I didn't do it on purpose!" I protested, blood rushing to my face. I wanted to duck my head but I was fixed by his gaze, the frustration in his eyes melting away as he looked down at me. He lifted a hand, pushing the mask away from my eyes, the feathers dropping soundlessly to the ground.

His lips were unexpectedly cold, the December air cooling his skin. I pressed into him, wanting to warm him, raising my hands to his icy cheeks, wrapping around his nape, threading through his hair. His mouth urged my own open, tongue darting inside, insistent and heated against my own. I opened my mouth wider, glorying in the feeling, realizing in that moment how much I'd longed for this all day.

One of his arms moved from my waist, tugging at the zipper of my rain coat, pulling me even closer to keep the cold air from penetrating. A faint moan escaped my throat as I felt his cold hands at my waist pushing past the open rain coat and thin cardigan, sliding under the hem of my camisole. I whimpered when he lifted his head and asked in a worried voice, "Are my hands too cold?"

I shook my head firmly, pulling his head back down. I didn't care that I was the one capturing his mouth, the longing I felt overwhelming. I sighed with satisfaction as his tongue snaked past my lips, only wanting him closer.

Edward's hands weren't hesitant as they'd been in his bedroom, flat and firm against my skin, moving along my ribs, up my spine, then back, his thumbs just brushing the underside of my breasts. I shivered but not from the cold.

"Goddamnit, Emmett! You got snow in my hair!"

I flinched, breaking the kiss, startled by Rosalie's shrill voice. Edward sighed, and, after a brief moment, reluctantly pulled his hands free. His gaze was filled with regret as he looked down at me then slowly zipped my coat back up. "It looks like you caught your showshoe on a rock and broke it," he said quietly, staring down at the ground.

"I did," I agreed, feeling slightly brain damaged. It was hard to think after kisses like that.

"I can carry you." He looked up and his green eyes were glinting with mischief. "Piggy back."

I nodded, wondering what he was thinking but not daring to ask.

Edward turned and sank into a slight crouch. I scrambled onto his back and immediately understood the mischievous look in his eyes as he grasped my legs. Straddling his waist rucked up the hem of the knee-length skirt; his hands were hooked in the perfect, or perhaps most torturous position, firmly grasping the tender flesh just above where the knee socks ended. "You okay?" he asked, his voice low and amused.

I felt his hands shift, moving farther up my thighs. "Yes!" I choked out, the sound decidedly strangled.

Edward just chuckled and began moving across the snow back towards the house.

He stopped when the light of the dining room windows was yards away, the yellow glow welcoming and warm. "The snow is light enough here that you can walk."

I made no move to get down, instead tightening my arms around his shoulders. He had tormented me the entire walk back to the house—now it was my turn.

Edward stilled, turning his head questioningly. It was the movement I'd been waiting for, leaning forward to kiss the corner of his mouth, tongue darting out to caress his bottom lip. I felt his hands tremble behind my knees, his eyes closing. I trailed kisses along his cheek to his ear, capturing his ear lobe between my lips and then sharply biting down. I was rewarded with a distinct grunt, his hands clenching before suddenly shifting, sliding up my legs. I tightened my knees around his waist, clinging to his shoulders as his hands moved, briefly digging into the softer flesh at my upper thighs, then pausing as his fingers encountered the edge of my cotton underwear.

I drew his ear lobe fully into my mouth, playfully sucking, delighting in the labored sound of his breathing. His fingers were digging into the borderland where thigh curved outward, the sensation maddening. The curl I'd felt in my belly during past kisses was a full fledged flame, igniting my core. "Christ, Bella," he groaned.

I opened my mouth, freeing his ear lobe at the same time that I let go of his shoulders and relaxed my knees. I tumbled off his back but just managed to stay upright, faltering only slightly as I straightened up. Edward whipped around, stunned by the sudden withdrawal. I forced myself to look down, brushing needlessly at my skirt. I then bent down as if I didn't have a care in the world, unhooking the single snowshoe still on my right foot.

"Thanks for carrying me back," I said casually, moving around him to cross the last few yards to the house.

I had nearly rounded the corner to the front lawn, the steps of the porch within view when he finally caught up to me. "What am I going to do with you?" His voice was nearly a growl as he grasped my wrist, forcing me to stop.

"What do you mean?" I asked innocently, forcing myself to keep my gaze steady as I met his eyes.

Edward's expression looked dangerous, his green eyes hungry as he stared at me. "I don't know whether to ask you to never wear a skirt again or to wear one every day."

I couldn't help laughing, "It's hardly indecent." I looked down at the modest skirt then back up at his vaguely tormented face.

"You have no idea," he groaned, reluctantly tugging me back towards the house.

I could hear Jasper and Alice not far behind us, her giggles mixing with his soft murmurs as they rounded the corner and approached the porch at the same time. "Movie time?" Jasper quirked a brow.

I looked out at the darkness and shook my head reluctantly. "It's getting late and it'll only get colder." I felt Alice's questioning gaze, likely wondering where the mask had gone and why Edward was carrying only three snow shoes…

"I should give you a ride home in the Jeep," Edward interjected.

I was going to protest when, with perfect timing, snow began to softly fall beyond the shelter of the porch. My mouth snapped shut, mentally scrambling for a leg to stand on. Edward looked from the elegantly drifting snow to my face, a smirk curving his lips. "How will I get my truck back?" I knew the argument was weak but had to try.

"I can pick you up in the morning. Once the roads are plowed, you can drive home."

Damn. "Okay."

"You sound so dejected, Bella—you'd think he was trying to steal the truck!" Alice laughed, turning to go inside.

"I'm not," Edward said as we made our way into the garage and climbed into the Jeep.

"Not what?"

"Not going to disappear your truck. As much as the rusty bucket needs to be put out to pasture."

"I don't appreciate you mocking my truck," I sniffed, crossing my arms over my chest. The Jeep rumbled to life; Edward shifted into gear and turned the wheel to begin the slow bounce down the drive.

"It doesn't have feelings. It can't be mocked." Edward leaned close to the wheel, flicking on the brights to illuminate the dark back road.

"It's been around long enough, so it just might," I argued. "I bet it's holding back tears right now."

Edward chuckled. I watched the ghostly flakes dance and swirl before the headlights, trees swinging into view, dense and impenetrable, before the Jeep turned onto the main road. Edward drove slowly, his foot barely tapping against the pedals. We were near the town limits when the wheels briefly spun on a patch of ice, the Jeep drifting toward the center of the road. I gasped, clutching my seat, the blood draining from my face.

Edward reaction was the opposite of what mine would have been, imperceptibly turning the wheel in the direction of the skid, neither jamming on the brakes or the gas. We were soon over the ice and the car began to gain speed again. "Are you okay?"

I realized I wasn't breathing and tried to nod. I sensed Edward turn his head but couldn't make myself look at him, knowing my face was still filled with fear. Of all the mishaps I'd had, I'd never been in a car accident. It wasn't as if living in Arizona gave me much experience with driving on ice.

I felt the car slow, approaching the shoulder of the road. "Bella?"

"I'm okay," I choked out.

The car drew to a stop and Edward threw it into park. I was reassured by the fact that we weren't moving anymore and felt my shoulders relax. His hand was on my chin, turning my face to his. "You're safe with me. I promise." I nodded, my gaze locked on the sincerity in his eyes, shining even in the darkness of the car. He looked so…protective.

Edward's hand moved to my cheek, his palm flat against the skin there, as if trying to memorize my face. I closed my eyes at his warm touch, filled with the absurd desire for the moment—sitting in a cold, dark car on the side of the road—to never pass. I sensed him leaning forward, his lips on mine a moment later, soft, gentle, his breath so sweet.

Given what had happened earlier, I really should have known better. But I couldn't control myself with him, my arms around his neck before I could think, pressing my mouth to his, deepening the kiss. Edward didn't hesitate, his mouth insistent against mine, pushing my lips open, hands fumbling at my coat, grasping my hips and waist. I moved awkwardly, trying to more fully face him, refusing to let the gap between the seats deter me. My hands were firm on the back of his neck, pulling him closer, biting down on his bottom lip.

The sound he made was somewhere between a groan and a growl, his hands urgent on my body, finding the hem of my skirt and grasping my knee, sliding up my thigh, like fire on my skin.

I was nearly out of my seat, balancing on one hip, indifferent to the awkward position, breathing hard against his mouth, pushing my hands down the neckline of his shirt, absorbing the firm feel of his shoulders. I gasped as his hand found the curve of my ass, his mouth moving from my mouth to my throat, his breath ragged.

"Bella…" His voice seemed to be coming from far away and sounded so tortured. "Bella…we should stop."

I don't think I'd ever made that wordless whining noise before. Or if I had, not since I was too small to ride the big rides. I felt his mouth move into a smile against the skin beneath my ear.

"Not here, Bella."

"Fine." I reluctantly settled back into my seat, my skin suddenly cold as he moved his hands back to the steering wheel.

Edward paused, running his hands distractedly through his hair before putting the car back into drive.

"Never wear a skirt again."

I couldn't tell if he was joking but regardless, I wasn't going to agree. I just smiled as he drove me the rest of the way home.


	25. Port Angeles

**Disclaimer:** Characters and anything familiar are S. Meyers. Reviewers get a preview.

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Twenty-Five**

"Do we have to listen to this poppy shit? It's making my ears bleed." Rosalie's voice was harsh as she reached for the iPod docked on the dashboard of the Volvo.

Alice smacked her hand away. "We can't all be cool and listen to raging death metal like you."

"It's the only thing that makes Emmett as crazy as I get when he plays that God awful booty rap he loves so much," Rosalie protested.

"I'm driving. My music." Rosalie huffed a sigh, turning in her seat to gaze out the window. In doing so, she gave me a view of her beautiful profile from the back seat.

I had to agree with Rosalie. It did kind of sound like chipmunks crossed with overexcited German DJs. I didn't think Alice would appreciate the comment, though, her gaze determined as she navigated the still snowy roads towards Port Angeles. Edward had protested the shopping trip but Alice had quickly shut him down with the winning suggestion, "Why don't you and Emmett and Jasper meet us up there for dinner? By then, we'll have satisfied our jonesing for shopping."

I'd raised a brow at her inclusion of me in that 'we' since I'd never jonesed for shopping a day in my life. Her narrowed eyes and the set of her jaw kept me from speaking up, though. It was clear coming between Alice and a post-Christmas shopping trip was something only a crazy person would attempt.

Winter break had largely passed in a lazy haze that made me doubt my life was real. Could I be so happy? All the time? I spent every day with Edward, mostly at his house in order to keep my dad from grumbling too much; I figured keeping Edward out of sight and therefore mostly out of my dad's mind was the best I could do—even if it meant I was rarely home.

That wasn't entirely to Edward's preference. Alice chose that exact moment to remind me why.

"So have you and Edward gone all the way yet?"

"For fuck's sake, Alice, he's your brother!" I might have been grateful that Rosalie responded before I could—if I wasn't so busy sputtering and trying to look anywhere but at the driver's seat of the car.

"So? He's never had a girlfriend. I'm invested in his happiness."

"Like hell you are! Meddling little know-it-all."

I knew my face was on fire and pressed my hands to my cheeks, trying to cool them. Alice's question took me back to the first Monday of the break, waking up with a grin knowing I didn't have to go to school—that the week stretched out in front of me free of any classes, any need to avoid Lauren in gym or Mike in the halls, any note scribbling or test-taking. I'd bounded into the kitchen in my sweats and hoodie and nearly skidded onto my ass on the tile. I always forgot not to do that in socks.

I cleaned the mug Charlie had used before he'd headed to work, then set to making the biggest, sickest breakfast I'd ever cooked. It wouldn't matter if I was in a food coma for the rest of the day because I had no where to be.

I had just piled hash browns, apple sausage, eggs and toast onto my plate when there was a knock at the front door. I set the plate down on the table, swearing when a sausage made a run for it, rolling over my fingers and onto the floor. I was reaching for it when another knock, more insistent, sounded on the door. Only one person would get so impatient so quickly. Grumbling under my breath I told the sausage to stay put as I left the kitchen.

Edward's expression registered surprise when I opened the door, his eyes going wide and his jaw dropping. "What?" I asked, pulling the tip of my pointer finger out of my mouth. It still had grease on it from the stupid sausage.

"What are you trying to do to me?" He pushed through the door and picked me up bodily off of the floor, kicking the door shut behind him.

"Wha…?" He took my breath away, burying his face in my neck, his arms tight around my waist as he carried me into the living room. "Edward…" I breathed as he lowered us both to the sofa, his body pressing mine into the cushions. His mouth was on mine, cutting off further words or thoughts, so warm and wet.

I pushed my hands into his hair, turning my head to give him easier access to my mouth, hungry in a far different way than I had been when I got up that morning. I whimpered when his hands left my waist but realized as he shifted his weight that he was shrugging out of his coat. His hands soon returned to my hips, pushing up the hem of my hoodie and burning into the soft skin of my belly.

Edward's mouth moved to my throat, fingers fighting with the zip of the hoodie, before trailing down my collar bone, the sensation like butterflies and flames all at once. "Edward," I sighed again, threading my fingers in his hair, caressing his scalp. His lips were pushing at the edge of my camisole at the same time his hands were rucking up the hem, the tips of his fingers brushing the undersides of my breasts. I squirmed beneath him, then moaned as the motion put me in contact with the knee he had braced between my legs.

"Fuck," he exhaled, tearing his mouth from my skin and resting his forehead against my heart. The only sound was our heavy breathing and the thump of blood in my ears.

We weren't in a freezing car on the side of the road. Nor were we in the middle of the woods with a broken snowshoe. "Why did you stop?" I barely had the courage to ask, the words an embarrassed whisper.

Edward lifted his head, his green eyes surprised as he stared down at me. I couldn't imagine how I looked, lips bruised and damp, my hair a mess. "We're in the living room…" he finally offered weakly, his eyes drifting to my mouth.

"My bedroom is upstairs."

If it was possible for eyeballs to get whiplash, Edward's would have needed a neck brace, swinging back from my mouth to my eyes, the surprise replaced by utter disbelief. "I don't mean…_that_." My cheeks were flaming and it was my turn to look away, fingers plucking nervously at the collar of his shirt. "…I just don't want to…stop."

I didn't have to ask twice. Edward swung me into his arms as if I weighed nothing and practically flew up the stairs.

"She might want advice!" Alice's voice was shrill, defending her curiosity. Her blue eyes darted to the rearview mirror, lasers on my blushing face. "You've never had a boyfriend, right?"

I shook my head dumbly, my hands still plastered to my cheeks, willing the blood to subside.

"So what!?" Rosalie blazed, ignoring me. "You are making me _so_ glad Emmett and I did it before you and Jasper."

"Only because Emmett is unacquainted with the concept of patience," Alice sniffed.

"Alice, can I introduce you to a Mr. Pot? He'd like to meet your kettle." Rosalie's sarcasm was short-lived before she was blazing again. "You're the one who pressured Jasper! He told me about the porn you just happened to have playing on your computer to get him all hot under the collar--"

"Oh my God." I don't know that either one of them heard me but it didn't matter. I closed my eyes, trying to push the image of Alice and Jasper and porn out of my head.

"I can't believe he told you about that!" Alice's shriek was indignant.

"He's my brother!"

Though he'd moved with almost violent urgency up the stairs, Edward was beyond gentle as he laid me on my narrow bed. His green eyes were reverent but the tense line of his jaw spoke volumes about his restraint. I pulled my arms free from the sleeves of my hoodie, smiling as he kneeled on the bed, then covered my body with his.

Edward's hands were everywhere, his mouth moving over mine. I clutched his back, fumbling with the buttons of his shirt until I had it open enough to thrust my fingers under the fabric and over the hot satin of his skin. I couldn't get lost in the feeling of him for long, moaning as his hands found my breasts, fingers pressing into the flesh, moving frantically to the hem of my camisole to feel them with no barrier.

I sighed into his lips, arching my back into his touch, smiling when he groaned and moved his mouth to my jaw. "Bella…" The tips of his fingers just brushed my nipples before he pulled his hands away, as if it were too much.

That same whining noise escaped my mouth and his breath was a frustrated sigh against my throat. He stilled for a moment, thinking. Then, as if to prove a point, he moved his hands down the back of my sweats, cupping my ass and pulling me briefly against the very obvious evidence of his desire.

If Edward thought to deter or frighten me, he was to be proven wrong. After a moment's hesitation, I lifted my hips and pushed into his hardness—then sucked in a breath at the sensation and his responding growl. Filled with determination, wanting it again, I put my feet flat on the bed and arched towards him, insistent. "Edward…"

"He was too much of a gentleman! If I hadn't taken the initiative, we'd still be dry-humping and you'd still be bitching about how there's never any hot water because he's taking so many showers--"

"So now 'taking the initiative' means having lesbian porn running on a loop?" Rosalie's voice was arch and I reminded myself for the thousandth time never to cross her.

"They weren't _real_ lesbians." I could see Alice chewing her lip as we approached the city limits of Port Angeles. "And I just know Edward has that same backwards gentleman bullshit mentality…"

"So you're going to suggest Bella show him some porn to get him over it?" Rosalie scoffed.

"I don't own any porn," I weakly protested. Neither one of them paid any attention to me.

"Nooooo." Alice dragged out the word sarcastically, as if that should be obvious.

"Then all you're really doing is trying to dig up dirt," Rosalie fumed, losing her temper again.

"I don't even know where to get porn," I added, my voice growing a little louder.

"I am not! I just want to make sure everything goes smoothly!"

"Oh my Christ!" Rosalie threw up her hands. "What are you going to do?! Referee?"

"Ooo, I could buy a whistle!" Alice laughed.

"Can we stop talking about this now?" I was now nearly shouting and they both turned in their seats to stare at me. "About porn, and kettles, and everything! Please?"

Alice's expression was faintly surprised. "For now," she finally replied, turning back to the road. There was a beat of silence before she was squealing as the shopping district came into view. I exhaled with relief and hoped that being in public around total strangers might deter the conversation from continuing.

This mostly proved to be true until we turned a corner in the very same department store where I'd run into Alice and Rosalie so many weeks ago, and found ourselves in the lingerie section. The conversation had been a blur of heels versus wedges, the classic look of the French manicure, and the resurgence of the bouffant but it instantly stopped when Alice spotted the yards of lace covered racks. She stopped as if someone had shot her and then nearly flung herself onto a table covered in thongs.

Rosalie, though not as dramatic, moved with a determined expression deeper into the department, soon disappearing among racks of ruffly nightgowns.

I was about to beat a quick retreat, knowing this could only end awkwardly, when Alice rushed towards me with an excited smile. "We have to get you some things!"

"Alice, _no_." I felt the blood drain from my face and took a step back but her hand was on my arm. How could such a small person be so strong?

"Bella, it doesn't hurt to at least look!"

"That's what you said before you tried to convince me to buy that hoodie."

"I thought you liked hoodies!"

"It was pink. Bright, Sanrio pink." I had never worn the color in my life.

"What color would you have preferred?" Alice was stifling a pout. I wasn't sure if she was offended at my disliking the color or my refusal to take her fashion advice.

"I don't know…" I looked down at my corduroys. "Brown, maybe?"

Alice sighed loudly, rolling her blue eyes. "You can't buy brown lingerie!"

"Who said I was buying lingerie?!" I protested, gawking at her.

"We've got to do something to move you and Edward along!"

Rosalie saved me again, appearing at Alice's side, her arms laden with hangers. She took one look at my beet-red cheeks and wryly turned to Alice. "I have a feeling they don't need any help, Alice."

Alice, who had been examining the thongs, looked up at my face. I couldn't meet her eyes but, before my gaze darted away, I saw understanding dawning there.

Edward and I had stayed in my room for what felt like the blink of an eye, the only sound whispered words and harsh breathing, fumbling over and under clothes, exploring. As before, Edward was the one to finally put a stop to things, burying his face in my neck, panting as if he'd run miles. "Bella…I can't—not if you want to stop."

I had nodded, equally breathless, caressing his nape, luxuriating in the feel of his weight on top of me. I knew I wasn't ready to go farther as much as I hated having to stop. It wasn't fair to push him, though, so I gently kissed his cheek and shifted. He understood, rolling away from me.

I climbed reluctantly to my feet, a hand at my hair, pulling out the elastic and trying to smooth it back into a pony tail. "You're so beautiful."

Edward was propped up on his elbows on my narrow bed, green eyes frankly admiring. I blushed, certain he was insane. My rumpled sweets and tank top were the farthest thing from beautiful—I hadn't even showered yet. "You must need glasses," I replied, grabbing my hoodie from the floor.

"When you answered the door like that, with your finger in your mouth--" He stopped, looking away from me, his bottom lip caught between his teeth.

I blushed again, then gasped, a hand flying to my mouth.

"What?" Edward was off the bed instantly, at my side.

"My breakfast will be cold by now!" There was a pause and then his laughter filled the room.

Rosalie's voice was amused as she dragged Alice towards the dressing rooms. "I have a feeling Edward doesn't need any motivation, Miss Meddler." I slumped into one of the overly feminine armchairs that sat nearby, a refuge for the husbands and boyfriends that were dragged into a department that was--and was not--for them.

Rosalie didn't know how right she was. Edward had wanted to come by the house all week but I'd made sure I was dressed and ready to go every time he appeared. It wasn't that I didn't want to lose myself for hours…kissing, touching…I felt my face flaming and sank my head into my hands, hoping no one passing by could read my thoughts. More than anything, I didn't trust myself. I knew Edward would stop if I asked him to…but stopping was the last thing on my mind. And it felt so soon to go so far…

At least, at his house, there were always so many people around that there wasn't a chance of things getting out of control. Or, if I were being honest, for me to lose my head and do something I wasn't ready for.

I shook my head, feeling my hair fall over my shoulders, obscuring my face. There was no one around but these thoughts made me feel like hiding. There was something so backwards about how serious things felt when I considered how little I knew him. But for small glimpses, bits of stories, I knew nothing of Edward's past. I stared down at my fingers, biting my lip with consternation. In truth, I knew more about Alice than I did the guy I was calling my boyfriend.

I recalled the story he'd told the night of the solstice, breaking into the abandoned house on the military base. Even how he'd presented it, as this light-hearted escapade that had partly contributed to the decision to move here, was misleading. And of course he'd offered no details on what those other contributing factors might have been. It was maddening.

Part of me believed one of the things he liked about me was that I didn't pry and neither did I jump to conclusions. I accepted people at face value, very much like my father. But that practice was truly leaving me in the dark with him.

"I leave you for ten minutes and you go all emo and brooding on me." Alice interrupted my thoughts, a hint of concern tinging her bright voice.

Rosalie rescued me again from having to respond to Alice's curiosity, her voice sardonically dismissive. "Then she really is perfect for Edward."


	26. Trust

**Disclaimer:** All recognizable elements belong to S. Meyers. Thank you *so* much for all of the reviews. I'm still boggling at that review number! As always, reviewers will get a preview of the next chapter.

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**Twenty-Six**

I couldn't exactly call the exchange between Rosalie and Alice an argument—but neither was it a conversation. Either way, I was too distracted by the prospect of the topic coming up again to notice the generic Italian restaurant Emmett insisted we go to—all checkered table clothes and candles dripping down empty wine bottles, the smell a mixture of garlic and tomatoes as we walked through the doors.

"It's your namesake!" Emmett called as we took our seats at a round table near the back. I smiled without understanding, avoiding Edward's gaze as I picked up the menu. Only after blindly reading over the appetizers several times did I realize Emmett was referencing the restaurant's name printed in scrolling letters at the top: La Bella Italia.

"I'll find a place named for you one of these days, Rose," he added as he tugged his girlfriend's chair nearer to his own.

I knew my gaze was darting back and forth between Alice and Rosalie with worry, unable to suppress my fear that their conversation from earlier might find reason to continue. I didn't even register Edward's hand touching my own, trying to bring my attention to the waitress asking for our drink order. "Water's fine," I muttered, my gaze sliding past Edward's to focus again on the menu. I could see his worry there but didn't know what I could say; there was no way I was going to repeat anything that had been said by his sister or Rosalie.

For me to be quiet at a meal was nothing new, Emmett and Alice filling most of the gaps in conversation. "You should see the cute stuff Rosalie and I bought!"

"No one cares, Pixie Stick," Emmett cut her off. Jasper was trying to shake his head to disagree but Emmett talked over him. "And save the lingerie parade for when you and J-Dog are alone."

"J-Dog?" Rosalie asked with an arched brow. "Is my brother your homeboy now?" she added dryly.

"Home_dog_," Emmett corrected, his dark brows quirking mischievously.

"I knew I should have bought you gold chains instead of that cashmere sweater," Alice pouted in Jasper's direction.

The waitress interrupted, asking if we were ready to order. I noticed her gaze lingering on Edward, who appeared not to notice her as he asked for the chicken parmesan. I realized I remembered nothing of the menu and ordered the first thing my eyes settled on, some pasta dish. As I handed her my menu, I felt Edward's gaze on me again. I tried to smile reassuringly but the worried line between his brows only deepened.

"So you never told us about your Christmas," Alice began, the bright blue of her eyes trained on me.

I frowned at her and bit my tongue, wanting to say that would be because she'd spent the entire car ride trying to figure out how to get Edward and I to do the deed. Instead, I shrugged. "It was no big deal."

I still couldn't believe Charlie had insisted on getting a tree and was relieved when he'd brought home a spindly thing that didn't even reach to my waist. It had sat sadly on the coffee table for several days without decoration as we had both forgotten that Renee had asked for the ornaments to be shipped to Phoenix years ago.

"What did you get?" Jasper asked, his hand entwined with Alice's on top of the table.

There had been two packages for me under the sad tree, next to the new tackle box I'd gotten for Charlie from Newton's sporting goods' store. "A camera and a camera case. I think my dad's saving up so he can help me with college."

I thought I felt Edward tense at my side but the waitress had returned with a pitcher of water and was leaning closely over his shoulder to reach his glass. I resisted the urge to slap her hand away, blushing at my own possessiveness.

Luckily, Rosalie had launched into a tirade about the car seat covers she'd received from her stepmother as a gift, effectively taking the attention of the table as she gestured wildly, her eyes slits. "Pink with purple hearts! Like I'm five!"

"Hey! I like pink!" Alice protested.

"It doesn't even match the car!" Rosalie responded, her head swiveling to glare in Alice's direction.

"It's better than the stationary I got," Jasper laughed, his voice consoling.

Alice jumped in, a sardonic grin on her face. "I can't believe she spelled your name wrong."

"How did she spell it?" Emmett asked.

"I don't think she spelled it wrong, I just don't think she bothered to fill out the order form correctly," Jasper amended, then added, "With a 'g'."

"Gasper?" Emmett sounded incredulous.

"We should use the stationary for a bonfire once the weather is nicer," Rosalie had calmed down, rolling her eyes.

I began to relax as I saw the conversation that had taken up most of the ride to Port Angeles wasn't going to be revisited. My eyes slid to Edward and saw he was looking at his hands, his gaze downcast. Wanting to reassure him, I reached beneath the table and grasped his fingers with my own. He turned his head at the touch, his smile brilliant. "Will you tell me what was wrong?" he asked under his breath.

He was far too perceptive. "Nothing," I blushed, my gaze darting away again. Edward's hand tensed in my own but he didn't let go.

The waitress interrupted, her arms laden with plates of food and happily, the subject seemed to be forgotten as we all began to eat. I picked up my fork and busily stuffed my mouth, trying to avoid Edward questioning me more closely. I knew my face gave everything away and there was no way to fool him…not for long anyways. I barely tasted the chanterelles and porcinis mixed in amongst the red sauce, too preoccupied with avoiding his curious and increasingly frustrated glances.

I was relieved when the waitress collected our plates, thinking I'd soon be speeding along with Alice and Rosalie, escaping Edward's question probe for another hour or so. And perhaps, by tomorrow, he'd have dismissed my blushes and evasions as typically awkward behavior on my part.

"I definitely want profiteroles," Emmett declared before the waitress had a chance to hand around the dessert menus.

Glancing at the long slip of laminated paper, Alice added, "And I want the gelato. Vanilla, please!"

"And you?" The waitress bent towards Edward, smiling with unnecessary warmth. I restrained the urge to smack her again.

"Nothing for me," he said shortly without even looking in her direction.

"I'll be right back, then," she answered, clearly dissatisfied.

"So, what did Edward get for you for Christmas, Bella?" Alice asked, eyes wide with curiosity.

I flushed and bit my lip, my hands fists in my lap. I hated getting gifts but knew Alice couldn't begin to understand that. "She threatened me if I did," Edward interjected smoothly, sensing my discomfort.

"And you listened to her?!" Alice was indignant, her arms crossing over her chest.

I could feel my cheeks getting hotter as the attention of the table shifted to me. "We haven't even been together that long!" I protested, casting my eyes towards Edward, hoping for his support. The whole concept had always made me uncomfortable, besides which, I knew I couldn't afford anything as nice as what Edward was likely to splurge on for me. He'd only backed down when I'd refused to kiss him for a week if he got me anything.

To my surprise, his green eyes narrowed, brows lowering at my words. What had I said? "I mean, it's only been a few weeks…" I added weakly, feeling suddenly off balance.

"It's not a big deal," Jasper filled the silence, unwilling to let the awkward pause that followed my words lapse any longer. "You guys don't even celebrate Christmas," he said with a smile as he looked at the Cullens in turn.

"Yes, but I still get gifts for you," Alice sniffed, her lips beginning to form a pout.

"Alice, you get me things nearly every week of the year," Jasper replied with a gentle smile.

"Profiteroles!" Emmett crowed as he spotted the waitress weaving her way back towards our table, conveniently distracting everyone from the topic at hand.

Though neither one of us had ordered dessert, I was surprised to hear Edward speak up once everyone else had their mouths full with either gelato or pastry. "Bella and I are going to head back."

Alice sputtered around her spoonful of dessert. "B-but--"

"No, Alice." Edward's voice was unexpectedly hard as he stood, reaching into his back pocket for his wallet and pulling several twenties free. "We'll take the Volvo. You can ride with the Hales and Emmett in the Jeep." His expression was dark, his brows still low over his eyes.

"You can be such a moody asshole, Edward!" Alice protested after she'd managed to swallow.

I had barely scooted my chair back but Edward was already reaching for my wrist, pulling me up so quickly and unexpectedly that I stumbled over my own feet. He glanced back, his eyes still narrow, and I paled, wondering if he was annoyed at my clumsiness. Regaining my balance allowed him to continue towards the restaurant exit, shuffling to make sure I didn't step on his heels, certain I didn't want to stoke his anger in any way.

The air beyond the door was cold and brisk, my breath forming white wisps that were visible even in the darkness of the late hour. I paused to shrug on my coat but Edward had already bounded down the stairs, not looking back to see if I followed.

I wanted to speak up, to ask him to wait, but hesitated given his unexplained anger from moments ago. Biting my lip, I skittered down the stairs after him, the gravel of the parking lot crunching beneath my Converse as I followed him to the car.

I was too nervous to speak, even after we were both in the car and turning towards the highway to go back to Forks. The tension seemed to have lessened but Edward still hadn't spoken or explained himself, his hands tight around the steering wheel. Finally, unable to stand it anymore, I asked, "Edward, what's wrong?"

He was silent a moment, his gaze fixed on the road. His voice sounded tired when he responded. "I asked you the same thing."

I blushed and turned towards the passenger window, Alice's pointed questions and suggestions from earlier flooding my mind. How could I repeat a conversation I wished hadn't taken place at all? And that part of my discomfort with the topic was my own realization that I was a lot closer to doing what Alice suggested than I wanted to admit?

"Their good cop/bad cop routine was exhausting," I finally managed to mutter, struggling to pull my gaze from the window but only succeeding in staring down at my fidgeting hands in my lap.

Edward seemed to relax, his shoulders dropping. "I know Rosalie can be bitchy sometimes--"

"Actually, Alice was the bad cop," I corrected, my voice more clear.

I could feel him glance towards me with surprise but I bit my lip, unable to speak further.

"Trying to dress you in bright pink?" he asked.

Edward clearly knew his sister well. "That, too," I admitted. I felt his gaze again and risked glancing in his direction. His green eyes were narrow, trying to figure out exactly what I was keeping to myself.

"You didn't have any shopping bags though so you must have successfully fended her off."

"My dad says I'm stubborn like it's a bad thing," I smiled at him, glad the tension in the car had mostly dissipated.

Edward chuckled softly, his gaze on the road. "And I bet that means I won't get any more out of you about whatever happened today."

I caught my bottom lip with my teeth, biting back my smile.

"Always such a mystery, Bella Swan." Edward's voice was silky but I could hear the hint of frustration beneath the words.

"You're one to talk, Edward Cullen," I shot back, refusing to let him bait me into giving anything away.

"You always surprise me," he continued as if I hadn't spoken. I frowned, staring at his profile, confused by what he could possibly mean. I was an open book, unable to lie, blushes giving away anything that made me nervous or embarrassed or upset. I was ready to scoff at his words when he began to explain. "Not impressed by Mike Newton and his Suburban."

I couldn't resist a huff of disbelief. "As if."

A faint smile tilted his lips. "Clearly displeased by the quarterback's very poor attempts at flirting."

I snorted, rolling my eyes.

"Not intimidated by…what does Alice call her?" Edward looked thoughtful then smiled, "the HBIC, Lauren Mallory."

"HBIC?" I asked faintly.

"You don't want to know," he grinned, his hands deftly turning the wheel as we approached the winding curves that would take us south back to Forks. "I never know what you're thinking."

I couldn't help laughing at that, marveling that he could think me mysterious when I felt so absolutely in the dark about him. Edward turned his head at the sound, the smile on his lips transforming his face.

A chagrinned smile curved across my mouth in turn as I realized he'd effectively made it impossible for me to question him—about his past, about his sudden anger, about anything. At least, not tonight. Given he'd just let go of pursuing his own line of questioning, and I had no intent of explaining myself, I was in no position to turn the tables.

Edward reached for my hand, his warm fingers wrapping tightly around my own and I suddenly found it impossible to care.


	27. About Face

**Disclaimer**: Characters are S. Meyers. Apologies for not getting previews out yesterday. Chapter 28 will be posted Tuesday and I promise reviewers will get a preview. Pinky swear.

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Twenty-Seven**

The first day back at school was mostly painless, each class taken up with distributing books, going over syllabi, and lectures about expectations for the semester that didn't really require any note-taking. I was disappointed I didn't share any classes with Edward; he'd fulfilled all of his English requirements and was now in Physics after lunch. Alice and Jasper's presence in American History partly made up for it.

I couldn't help a wide grin when I saw at lunch that the glaring spotlight of attention had, at least momentarily, switched to another new couple. Somehow, over the course of the break, Angela Weber and Ben Cheney had gotten together. The covert stares and whispers were now directed at the table where I'd formerly spent my lunch, Ben bright red and Angela clearly uncomfortable…but defiantly holding hands.

"Can you believe that?" I laughed as Edward followed me into my house after school, dropping my messenger bag inside the door and heading towards the kitchen for a glass of water.

"Hmm?" he was oblivious and I blushed at my rare interest in high school gossip.

"Ben and Angela," I mumbled, trying to hide my embarrassment by partially concealing my face with the glass, drinking deeply.

Edward clearly wasn't paying attention. "Why do you have to look so tempting when you blush?"

I might have laughed at the fact that the blush only intensified when he said such things, making my skin resemble a beet rather than anything attractive. Apparently he didn't see the humor, simply taking my free hand, removing the glass from the other, and pulling me in for a deep, intoxicating kiss. I melted into him instantly, confidant in the knowledge my dad wouldn't be home for several more hours

The silky hair at the back of his nape was familiar to my fingertips, the warmth of his skin like fire beneath my hands. I closed my eyes as his mouth moved over mine, sighing at the caress of his tongue, dancing against mine. I pulled away, eyes dropping at the question in his gaze, before taking his hand and leading him upstairs.

As I reached the door of my bedroom, I hesitated, faltering for a split second…until I turned and saw the intensity in Edward's green eyes. The half light of the afternoon left the room gray and shadowed but I didn't bother to turn on the lamp as I might have normally. I backed up towards the bed, not wanting to take my eyes from Edward's face, not wanting to hesitate again. He followed me wordlessly as I shrugged out of my cardigan, his hands reaching for me as the back of my knees hit the bed and I slumped to the mattress.

"Bella…" His hands were sure, unhesitating, moving up my bare arms, over the straps of the v-neck tank, hovering over my throat. I lifted my head and kissed him eagerly, my own hands tugging at the hem of his shirt, smiling when I found the bare skin of his back.

I felt his knee between my thighs, parting them, then sinking with a groan against me, his erection deliciously hard against my hottest, most sensitive point. "Edward…" His mouth moved to my throat, his hands sliding from my shoulders to my breasts. I squirmed beneath him, eager for more contact, more intimacy. As if sensing my need, he slid his hands down to my waist then up beneath the cotton of my top, so hot against my skin.

I moaned softly as his fingers played with the hardening tips through the fabric of my bra, shifting and squirming, impossibly hungry for him. Edward groaned in turn, his hips pushing mine into the mattress, pressing me deeply into the coils. I gasped at the sensation, even through the thick fabric of my jeans, my hands sliding against the lean muscles of his back. "More…please…Edward…"

He groaned again, his hands rough as he shucked up the hem of my shirt, head ducking to put his mouth to the full swell not concealed by the cup of my bra. His breath was hot against my skin, lips and tongue leaving dampness in their path. I lifted my hips involuntarily, a whine escaping my lips. I shifted one hand from his back, reaching up to pull the fabric of my bra aside. "Bella, Jesus." His voice was hoarse with want. "You're going to kill me." Then his lips found the sensitive nipple and I couldn't think to speak, lost to the feeling.

The curling flame in my belly was blazing with the insistent weight of his hips cradled in mine, whimpering as his mouth moved over my nipple, licking, tasting, driving any sense from my head. I didn't even notice his hand on the zipper of my jeans until his fingers were brushing the softness of my abdomen, twisting in the curls below. "Edward?" my head came up off the pillow, so drunk on sensation I was barely able to open my eyes.

"Shhh…" The pads of his fingers brushed lower, touching a part of me that felt swollen with sensitivity. I cried out with surprise, head thrown back. His hand stilled and the only noise was our harsh breathing, my eyes unseeing as I tried to understand the enormous, near painful feeling that had erupted at his touch. Almost imperceptibly, his fingers moved again, gentle, tentative.

The choking noise that came from my throat was unlike any sound I'd ever made. I might have been embarrassed if his emerald eyes weren't fixed on me, glowing with a look that could only be desire. "Edward?" His touch shifted, lower, sliding in the wetness there. How could I bet wet when I felt as if I were on fire, the heat unbearable, consuming…

Edward lowered his head, his lips at the peak of my breast again and a sucking gasp tore from my throat in response. One hand found his hair, twisting and pulling, while the other wrapped around his wrist where it emerged from the waist band of my jeans, certain my heart was going to hammer out of my chest.

The faint sound of clomping steps followed by the unmistakable slamming of the front door was like an electric shock; we leapt apart, hurrying to straighten our clothes, my face as red as a tomato as I tried to smooth my hair. Edward was infuriatingly calm, gracefully landing in the chair at my desk, turning to the papers there as if he'd been studying for hours.

I stooped to grab my cardigan off the floor, thrusting my arms through the sleeves and forcing myself to take several deep breaths in an attempt to calm down. I had never wanted to live on my own more than I did in that instant. An apartment, even a dorm room shared with some anonymous roommate, would be so much better than this.

"Dad?" I called down the stairs, quickly peeking my head into the bathroom to make sure I didn't look as if I'd been doing…what I'd been doing.

"Bells? You home?" I ducked back into the bedroom, pulling at the quilt on the bed, trying to smooth away the wrinkles and folds.

"Yeah, Edward and I are upstairs studying."

"On the first day of classes?" Fuck. I was such a bad liar. Edward whipped around in the chair and held up a piece of paper with three letters scribbled on it.

"For the SATs, Dad!" I called back, smiling gratefully in his direction. The smile faded as I realized another flaw to the lie. I whispered, "Crap, my bag is downstairs." He nodded, a crooked smile on his lips, his expression so amused that I couldn't be shy or nervous. I gave in to the temptation and leaned forward to kiss him quickly, before hurrying down the steps.

Charlie was already planted on the sofa, a beer in his hand. His voice was flat when he spoke. "I thought you took the SATs last spring. Didn't you submit applications already?"

I bit my lip. "Yeah, but I scored kind of low on the math portion. I figured I could retake them and put in some more applications." It was only partly a lie. I had no plans to take the SATs again but I was certain I was going to apply to several more schools. While Arizona State had seemed like a good plan six months ago when I'd applied for early admission, the idea of going back to Phoenix, especially with Renee on the road, didn't really make sense anymore. I hadn't told anyone yet, because the plan was only half-formed, but I was thinking of trying to get in to some local universities.

The whole idea of college had mostly slipped my mind during all of the drama of the past couple of months. One of the few positives of that whole mess was that it had been a distraction from thinking about the future; if anything, I'd kind of enjoyed a break from the preparations and paperwork that had consumed my junior year. I knew I needed to make some decisions soon but had been putting it off, unwilling to think about how unavoidably different my life would be in eight months.

Grabbing my messenger bag, I trotted back up the stairs, turning into my bedroom with a smile. I was surprised to see Edward on his feet, his hands shoved in his back pockets, his eyes fixed on the floor. "Are you leaving already?"

"I think I should." His voice was curt, his eyes still trained on the floor.

"You don't have to, though," I said softly. I didn't want him to think that just because Charlie was home, he couldn't stay.

"Maybe I want to," he said flatly.

I inhaled sharply, stung. "What do you mean?"

Edward finally raised his head, his eyes hard as he looked at me. "Do you want me to say it more slowly?"

"What the fuck, Edward?" I was trying to keep my voice down but the mix of hurt and anger was making it hard. His gaze flickered, glancing away from me. I softened at what looked like his hesitation. "Did I do something? Tell me…what's wrong?"

"Nothing," he said coldly, shifting his weight restlessly, as if he wanted to leave.

"That's bullshit," I shot back, crossing my arms over my chest. A strange, desperate feeling was forming in the pit of my stomach, mixing with the frustration that he was again leaving me completely in the dark.

"No, Bella. This," he gestured dismissively at me. "Is bullshit."

"When did the asshole from the second day of class decide to make a comeback?" I could feel tears pricking my eyes and didn't care that anger was making my voice loud. How could he swing so quickly from what we'd been doing minutes before to…this coldness, this disdain, this total disregard for me?

"Maybe he never left." His tone was snide, his brows lowering as he stared at me with something that looked like ridicule.

My mouth gaped, opening and closing as I stared at him in shock. This could not be happening. I felt like I'd been sucked into some alternate universe, as if the last few weeks were a dream. What had changed?

"I thought you…" The words died on my lips, realizing how utterly stupid I'd been. I thought he might have been growing to love me. In that moment, I knew that's where my feelings had been. "I thought you cared for me," the words were barely a whisper, staring at him with disbelief.

Edward's gaze didn't falter, stepping towards me, his hands still fixed in his pockets.

"You were wrong."

He slipped past me, deliberately not touching me, then through the door. I couldn't turn around to see him go, blankly staring at my empty bedroom.

I faintly heard the front door open and close but the sound was meaningless, only his words reverberating in my head. There had always been a mystery to Edward, his evasiveness about his life before the Cullens came to Forks a frustrating blank space that I thought might be filled in over time.

I realized, as I sank onto my bed, that I'd fooled myself into thinking it was only his past I didn't understand. The reality was that I didn't know Edward at all.


	28. Baggage

**Disclaimer**: All familiar elements belong to Stephenie Meyers. Reviewers get a preview.

* * *

**Twenty-Eight**

I didn't really expect Edward to pick me up for school the following day. That didn't stop me from looking out my bedroom window, staring into the fog as if my will alone might make his Volvo materialize in the low morning light.

I climbed into my truck, flinching at the loud noise of the engine, so different from Edward's car. I was grateful Charlie was already gone, and that he'd remained oblivious the night before. The fact that we were always quiet at dinner meant there was little change for him to notice.

Somewhere, deep within, a crazy desperation was crashing inside…but every time I felt the panic rise, I pushed the thoughts away. I wouldn't let myself cry, wouldn't allow hysteria to take hold, the change in Edward's behavior so abrupt that the whole thing simply felt unreal. In the absence of allowing those feelings and reactions to occur, a complete numbness was all that was left. Like a hollow thud, the dull realization that the brief weeks I'd had with Edward might as well have never been resounded over and over again, in time with the useless beat of my pulse.

I arrived as late as possible to school, pulling into a parking spot near the street before trudging towards the main building. The numbness was physical as well as mental, like my whole body was full of novocaine. I couldn't even dread the day ahead of me knowing nothing could be worse than the emptiness I was feeling now. Spanish passed in a blur, only looking up from my desk when Miss Goff asked me a question I hadn't heard. "I'm sorry, could you repeat that?"

"Pay attention next time, Miss Swan," she shot back before moving on to another student. I dropped my eyes back to my desk but not before I glimpsed Jessica's concerned gaze turn my way.

I avoided her as I headed to math, pretending I didn't see her when she tried to catch me on my way out the door.

Head down, I continued through the day, a physical presence in my classes, but completely mentally absent. I saw Edward once in the hallways before lunch and couldn't help staring at him openly, completely confused as to what had gone wrong, unable to understand. I saw his glance flicker my way before his expression went blank, turning his head as he continued in the opposite direction.

I escaped to my truck, sitting in the cab and silently shuddering as I recalled every word we'd spoken the prior day, trying to land on what I'd said, what I'd done, what could have made him treat me that way. Nothing came to me, though, nothing that made sense. The only thing I could think was that he'd simply changed his mind.

I arrived to American History just as the last bell rang, deliberately taking a seat in the back corner as far from Alice and Jasper as possible. Though I could feel her stare, I kept my head down, eyes focused on the notes I was taking, never lifting my gaze from my scribbling pen.

Unfortunately, Alice wasn't deterred as easily as Jessica. Though I was the first out of my seat when the bell rang, her small hand snagged my forearm when I tried to slide past. "Bella, what the fuck is going on?" Typical Alice, she didn't even bother trying to keep her voice down, heedless of the students passing by us through the door of the classroom.

I flinched at the harshness in her voice but didn't raise my gaze, simply staring at her small, pale hand on my arm. "Nothing, Alice."

Her voice was an angry hiss. "That's bullshit!" I heard the history teacher stir, still seated at his desk and unable to ignore our conversation.

Glancing his way, I turned back to Alice with a hard stare, meeting her eyes for the first time. "No, Alice, that's what your brother said about dating me."

The fierce anger in her blue eyes shifted to surprise. "He said that?" Her grip had loosened and I shook her hand away.

"In so many words." Before she could argue, I hurried away, heading to gym.

The rest of the week passed in much the same way. I numbly passed through each class, paying attention only as much as was necessary, ignoring Jessica's concerned stares, trying to ignore Edward as much as he ignored me the few times I encountered him in the halls, and avoiding Alice's persistent attempts at conversation after history.

I tried to tell myself that this was what my life had been like before I met him so I couldn't find things so terrible now. I hadn't even wanted to make friends when I first arrived in Forks, intending to simply grit through my senior year, counting down the days until I could get out of this tiny town and head to college far, far away. As many times as I reminded myself of this fact, though, it was impossible to push the happiness of the past few weeks from my mind. It seemed ludicrous to mourn such a short period of time, and I repeatedly tried to convince myself I was overreacting…but the drag of each day felt like a weight tied to my ankles without the anticipation of seeing him, being with him, knowing we were together.

Alice managed to corner me on the last day of the first week back, successfully blocking the door to the hallway despite her tiny size. "Alice, I'm going to be late to gym."

"So?" Her high voice had never sounded so tough, her blue eyes narrowed and challenging. "We need to talk."

"We have nothing to talk about." I glanced back at the teacher who was uncomfortably staring down at his desk, pretending to grade papers.

"My brother being a complete dickweed is enough of a reason."

A spark of anger flared in my chest. "Why is this his fault? He changed his mind. You can't blame someone for that."

"He didn't change his mind, Bella." Her voice was a mixture of anger and desperation.

"How do you know that?" I could feel myself losing it, not wanting to believe her, simply wanting to stay in the numbed state that was keeping me from feeling anything.

"Because he's my brother. He's got issues."

"I wouldn't know since he never talked to me about any of that." I pushed past her as the final warning bell sounded, rushing down the hall without looking back.

Despite my complete lack of coordination, my anger fueled a desire to participate in the floor hockey that was the current gym activity. I ran heedlessly across the polished wood floors, a glower fixed on my face, breathless as I pursued the stupid puck, imagining that it was my stupid heart instead.

I stumbled several times but always got right back up, unafraid of the swinging sticks, even after several caught me above the shin guards Coach Clapp had provided. I refused to believe what Alice had said. She was only stating what she wished to be true, not what I knew to be reality. Edward couldn't care about me. There was no way he cared, not if he could ignore me when we were three feet away from each other in a crowded hall, not if he could act like I didn't exist.

My fury and lack of hand-eye coordination meant I wasn't alone in getting hit by a stick above the knee. I blurted out an apology when I realized I'd caught someone on the backswing, looking over my shoulder and pausing for a split second when I realized it was Lauren. Her cheeks were red, her eyes bright with what looked like anger—but I found it impossible to care and simply ran back down the length of the gym after the group of girls clambering for the puck.

Jessica caught me after class, her expression open and friendly at my defensive stare. "Bella, don't worry. I'm not going to try to pry anything out of you."

I relaxed minutely as she fell into step beside me, crossing towards the parking lot, the weather misty and cold. "Is everyone talking about how I gave it up too soon, again?" My voice sounded bitter even to my ears but I couldn't pretend to feel otherwise.

"Who wants to talk about that?" I looked up, surprised by the bright honesty of her words.

I stopped, caught off guard. "I don't."

"I guessed," Jessica smiled, stopping as well. She held her books loosely to her chest, shifting from foot to foot. "I just wanted to make sure you knew you were welcome at lunch. You haven't been in the cafeteria and I don't want you to think you don't have friends just because…"

"Things didn't work out." I finished the sentence for her, seeing she was reluctant to guess. I was glad she didn't try to fill in the blanks. "Thanks, Jess. Maybe on Monday."

"Good. We miss you, Bella." With that, she waved and crossed the lot to her mom's sedan.

I wished her words and invitation could alleviate the weight that had settled in my chest the day Edward rejected me. When I got home, I retreated to my room, desperate to keep busy, to keep from thinking about him, his words, the complete, obnoxious mystery of him and why he'd acted as he had.

I sat down at my desk and unpacked my books, pleased for once that I had some homework to occupy my time now that the first week after break had ended. I cringed when I saw the folded letter that Edward had scribbled on to assist in my lie, 'SAT' written in block print on the back. I picked it up to throw it away, wanting to get rid of any reminder of that awful day…when I realized what it was.

It was my early admission acceptance letter from Arizona State.

I had completely disregarded the letter knowing I'd changed my mind about attending university there. My fingers tightened painfully on the thick fibers of the paper, brows drawing together and I wondered…was this what had upset him? But if it had, why hadn't he asked me? This couldn't be why…

As I sat there, thoughts spun through my head, fighting my common sense. I told myself I was grasping at straws, that he simply didn't like me anymore. My hopes shouted back, desperate to make sense of how he'd acted when I'd returned to my room. Maybe he'd worried that my feelings weren't serious because the letter made it seem like I was planning to move away. Maybe he'd been hurt that I was making plans for next year that clearly didn't include him.

But…that would assume his feelings were serious, that he wanted me to be a part of his life next year. My practical nature fought back, arguing that this could't be the case, that his reaction made no sense if that were the truth. I slouched over my desk, not knowing what to think, breathing hard with the effort of hanging on to the numbness that had covered me like a protective fog all week. I didn't want to hope…

By the following morning, I was no closer to any understanding. Twinges of anger were starting to punch through the numbness, erupting when I least expected it, leaving me glaring and furious as I attempted to do housework. If he had been upset about the letter, why hadn't he just said something? Why was it so hard for him to just tell me what he was thinking? Why did he insist on making everything such a fucking mystery?

By the time I'd filled a bucket with water and dish soap, ready to tackle the accumulated dirt and salt that discolored my truck, I was absolutely seething. I was so absorbed in angrily scrubbing at the rusted metal, I didn't notice the red BMW that had drawn up to the curb.

"Is this really the weather to wash a car?"

A shriek of surprise escaped my mouth, flinching and knocking the bucket sitting on the pavement beside me, sloshing water over its rim. "Shit!" Water soaked my jeans and feet. Though I was wearing my duck shoes, I could feel my socks growing damp.

I looked up, startled to see Rosalie Hale shutting the door of the shining car, it's cherry red paint like a mocking finger pointing at the burnt rust color of my truck.

"Rosalie?" I didn't bother to hide my confusion, staring at her with a mixture of amazement and disbelief. She looked utterly out of place on the quiet street, her tall blond figure garbed in a gorgeous wool coat, leather boots emphasizing the length of her legs.

"Alice told me that if she showed up here, you would probably refuse to let her in."

I forced my expression into one of indifference as she approached me, regaining my composure at least superficially. "She's right," I agreed evenly.

Rosalie slid her hands into the pockets of the beautiful, doubtlessly expensive coat, the heels of her boots clicking on the concrete as she walked towards the truck. "I figured I had the element of surprise on my side." A smile flitted over her full lips and I forced myself not to be dazzled by her beauty. "Besides, Alice has too many ulterior motives when it comes to her brother and she can't expect you to listen to her without knowing she's biased."

"That's also right," I allowed.

Rosalie's gaze was appraising, staring at me with open curiosity. I used the truck as an excuse to look away, lifting the bucket and sloshing the contents over the hood. I couldn't figure out what she could possibly have to say. Rosalie and Edward were barely civil on the best of days. She also didn't seem to be the pitying type so I was certain she hadn't come by to commiserate.

"Emmett has been threatening to write Edward's college application essays."

I dropped the empty bucket, my mouth agape as I turned to her. "Why would he do that?"

"Because Edward is an idiot and is threatening not to go at all."

My heart stuttered in my chest, the suspicions that had been haunting me since yesterday pounding through my mind.

Rosalie lifted a hand and stared critically at her nails. "I love Emmett more than anything but his strong suits are football and being funny—not writing essays." She looked up, shifting her weight and returning her hand to her pocket. "Did you know that Emmett is going to the University of Washington?"

I shook my head, still blankly staring, trying to make sense of what she was telling me.

"He got a football scholarship. The Cullens have enough money that he doesn't need it but he's insisting on taking it. Even after all these years, even after everything was official with the adoption, he feels like he owes them." Her eyes narrowed slightly, and she cocked her head. "Alice and Emmett and Edward…they have a lot of fucking baggage, you know that, right?"

I began to nod my head, then changed my mind, shaking it instead. "I know a little bit. I know Emmett's parents died in a car accident and Alice was in foster care from…six or seven on?"

"She was six," Rosalie clarified. "Her mother was a meth addict and the state finally took Alice away for good. It took missing weeks of school for that to happen. Before that, there was no way for her mother to be held accountable for how she raised Alice." I dropped my eyes, sucking in a breath at the thought.

"It's not something you can really ask about," I said weakly.

"No." Rosalie shook her head, her voice soft. "And who can blame them for not wanting to talk about it? Wouldn't you just want to pretend like none of it had happened? Like the life you're leading now is all that's ever been?"

I nodded, blinking back tears.

"Emmett explained it to me, when we first started seeing each other, why they don't talk to anyone. The first thing everyone knows about them is that they're adopted—and it's the first thing anyone asks about. Emmett said the social worker called it 'self-isolation' but they were just tired of having to explain things, or of trying to avoid the topic, or of the pity or teasing they'd get."

"Teasing?"

"Kids are cruel, Bella. You try explaining to a group of twelve or thirteen year olds that your birth mother is a meth addict and see if they don't make fun of you."

I cringed at the truth of her words, then crossed my arms over my chest as if to protect myself from that harsh reality. I chewed my lip, thinking. "I still…" I started, trying to make the connections. The last thing I wanted to do was frustrate Rosalie—not only because she was scary, but because she was revealing so much and I didn't want her to stop. "Edward changed his mind about us. I didn't…pry. I mean, I wanted to but I didn't."

The angry huff of air that escaped her lips was exactly what I'd wanted to avoid. I looked down, afraid to meet her gaze. "Edward freaking the fuck out didn't have shit to do with what you did, or didn't ask about his past. It had everything to do with the fact that not one person in his life has stayed put for more than a few years before bailing."

I frowned, that flare of anger returning. "So why didn't he just tell me that? Instead of treating me like a dick and ignoring me for a week."

Rosalie rolled her eyes impatiently. "Baggage, Bella. Baggage. You think Emmett didn't pull this crap when we first started going out? The bullshit let-me-push-you-away-before-you-get-a-chance-to-do-the-same-to-me?" She strung the words together as if that were an official diagnosis. Looking away, she admitted in a gruff, reluctant voice, "He made out with another girl in front of me at this kegger down on First Beach."

My jaw dropped, unable to imagine the girl who would be dumb enough to cross Rosalie. As if she'd read my mind, Rosalie continued, "I would have sent her to the hospital if Jasper hadn't been holding me back. As it was, Emmett couldn't walk straight for a week, I kicked him in the nuts so hard."

I couldn't help my choke of laughter, easily able to picture it. Rosalie's lips curved into a smile at the sound.

The smile faded, her somber expression returning as she went on. "Edward has the extra baggage of being around his perfectly happy brother and sister who paired off within weeks of moving here. Sure, it could be that he's a standoffish bastard who never would have dated anyways. But it couldn't have helped that he didn't meet you until what probably feels like the last minute."

"The last minute?"

"Before we all graduate. None of us are going to school on the peninsula. Emmett and I are going to the U and Jasper and Alice have been talking about Seattle University or maybe Western. Even Esme and Carlisle are saying they're going to put the house on the market and move back."

"And Edward thinks I'm going back to Arizona…"

"Well, aren't you?" Rosalie raised a brow.

"No…I don't know… I mean—I applied last year. But Renee is on the road six months of the year. It doesn't really make sense anymore…"

Rosalie's doubtful expression was making me feel defensive. "Besides, Charlie needs me."

"So Edward wouldn't motivate you at all to choose a school here in Washington?"

"No! I mean, I don't know…" I rubbed my forehead, closing my eyes. "I don't want that to be why."

"Okay." The hint of sarcasm in her voice made me bristle.

"You and Emmett have been together for years," I snapped back, glaring at her. I knew tomorrow I'd regret making her kill me but I was too mad to care about it now. "Edward and I--"

"Had this ridiculous tension from the first day of school," Rosalie cut me off. "Then he pined after you for weeks before working up the courage to talk to you when he knew no one would be around. At which point you knocked him down a hill."

I turned red, opening my mouth to interrupt but Rosalie would't be put off. "Then, motivated by the fact that he likes you and that you _don't_ apparently think he's a total douche, he manages to act like a normal person with you—which, I would like to point out, he has never done in the history of ever—including using any and every excuse to be around you."

I ducked my head, the blush raging at this point, my ears burning with her words. "The rumors complicated things, that's for sure. From what I could tell, though, it was all besides the point for both of you." I could only nod my head, unable to speak.

Rosalie huffed another sigh and I worked up the courage to peek at her, unable to imagine what she could say next. "Look. I get that neither one of you was going to bring up next year because it's so soon. And I don't blame you if you're completely pissed off that Edward handled it by freaking out and acting like an asshole. But Bella," she paused, waiting for me to meet her eyes. Her gaze was intense, imploring. "If you really care about him, don't let the baggage get in the way."


	29. Not You

**Disclaimer:** All familiar elements are S. Meyers. Reviewers get a preview...

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**Twenty-Nine**

Rosalie's words haunted me for the rest of the weekend, crowding out any other thoughts. I must have asked Charlie to repeat himself every time he spoke to me because I was too preoccupied to notice anything else. While he had known that something was up, he hadn't broached the topic; I could guess he was probably happy things hadn't worked out but was too diplomatic to say anything. Even if he had reacted, I'm not sure I would have noticed; like the whispers at school, I had been too numb to care.

With Rosalie's interfering visit, emotion and turmoil rapidly returned. I felt hopeful and angry in turn, breathless with fury one second and near tears with how much I cared for him in the next. It was infuriating to be so overcome, my usual blasé mood a long forgotten memory. Losing that equanimity was another thing that made me angry at Edward, hands fisting at my sides as I lay in bed trying to contain my rage. That he didn't just talk to me, that he wouldn't open up…I wanted to blame someone for how I was feeling and his harsh words from the last time he'd bothered speaking to me made it easy to point the finger at him.

But I knew I wasn't entirely innocent in the whole mess. I hadn't broached the topic of the future, unwilling to admit how deep my feelings were, how serious I wanted to be. I'd almost said that I hoped he loved me yet I couldn't make myself simply ask what his plans were. I'd been more than content to live in the present, acting again like a damn ostrich with my head in the ground.

On top of everything else, I didn't know what I was supposed to do. How was I supposed to keep Edward's baggage from getting in the way? Was I supposed to call him? Should I ask him to pick up brochures for local schools for me? I was tempted to just kick him in the nuts the way Rosalie had done to Emmett, but found myself in tears at the thought of him kissing someone else in order to justify my doing so.

I was no more clear on what I should do on Monday morning than I'd been after Rosalie drove away in her cherry red BMW, tired and pale as I made my way to school. I slouched through Spanish and math, my brain cells failing to fire as my mind stalled out. I knew I didn't want to approach Edward in school. But over the phone seemed like an equally bad idea. I bit my lip as I fidgeted with my pen. Even if I could figure out when to speak to him, I didn't know what I would say. And why was this my responsibility anyways? He'd started the whole thing.

I exhaled noisily, my head jerking up as the bell rang. I'd barely paid attention in class and hadn't noticed the minutes passing as I wrestled with what to do.

When the bell rang for lunch, I decided I would take Jessica up on her invitation. It would be a distraction at the very least—I was exhausting myself going in circles in my head. I approached the double doors with my chin high but instantly dropped my gaze once I pushed through them, my courage faltering.

I kept my eyes fixed on the floor as I shuffled through the line, my arms crossed defensively over my chest. I barely glanced at the food, quickly grabbing an apple and a lemonade before scurrying over to the table where I'd sat for most of the school year.

"Hey, guys."

"Bella!" Mike's voice was surprised but in a good, non-creepy way.

"Bella Knievel, welcome back!" Tyler called from the end of the table.

I felt Jessica's hand briefly grasp my wrist as I sank down at her side, Angela's warm smile beaming at me from across the table. Ben sat close to her, their chairs practically touching; his grin was hesitant but I hoped it was only because we didn't know each other well.

I ducked my head as I bit into my apple, trying to listen to the conversation around me, refusing to get lost in my own thoughts yet again.

"We're planning on a bonfire down at First Beach, what do you say?" Mike was talking to me.

I forced myself to smile. "Maybe. Isn't it still too cold?"

"That's what the fire's for!"

"I'll keep you warm!" Tyler interjected. I bit my lip, blushing, hoping Lauren hadn't heard from where ever she was camped out in the cafeteria.

"That's what coats are for, Tyler," I replied evenly.

"Ooo, burn, Ty!" Mike laughed.

"How do you think you did on the Spanish quiz this morning?" Jessica asked after rolling her eyes at Tyler and Mike.

"Okay, I think," I replied, glad she'd changed the subject.

"Miss Goff is such a she-bitch on wheels sometimes," Jessica snorted.

"Sometimes?" I asked. Jessica laughed. I kept my eyes trained on the table, or Angela's smile, or Jessica's speeding mouth, determined to make sure my gaze didn't slip over my shoulder to where the Cullens sat. I took a deep breath when the bell finally rang, glad I'd made it through the half hour without looking.

I did my best to continue ignoring Alice and Jasper in history, stumbling over my own feet despite the fact that my eyes were fixed on the linoleum. I cursed Edward in my head, pissed that I had to deal with all of this awkwardness. I couldn't help desperately wondering if maybe Rosalie was wrong. Maybe it wasn't so complicated, maybe I had only been a passing distraction—and now he was done.

Sucked into these morose thoughts, I barely heard a word of the history lecture. I was considering skipping P.E., my feet dragging as I exited the main building and came to the courtyard, the square block of the gymnasium perched on the other side of a stretch of damp grass. It wouldn't take more than a minute to grab my coat from my locker and head home. I felt so finished with this day.

The furor of noise caught my attention first, a mix of voices, some angry like an argument while others were excited, almost cajoling. I lifted my head and saw a semi-circle of students near the gym doors. I squinted, trying to see what had drawn the small crowd, then gasped as I spotted an unruly crown of auburn hair above the fray. I was rushing over before I'd made the conscious decision to move, pushing through the jockeying students milling around Edward.

"…your sloppy seconds, you weirdo!" A thread of fear ran through Mike's shout, his furious face suddenly visible to me as I peered around Tyler Crowley. Edward had Mike pushed into the brick wall of the gym, his back to me, the pale skin of his knuckles fisted into Mike's jacket.

Adrenaline surging, I tripped past Edward, trying to ignore the pounding of my heart in my ears as I ducked under his arm, wedging myself between him and Mike. He flinched at my sudden appearance but didn't let go of Mike.

"Stop this, now," I insisted in a low voice, holding my gaze steady as I met his furious stare.

"Bella, get out of the way." Edward's initial shock disappeared in an instant, emerald eyes blazing as he glared down at me. His fists continued to grasp Mike's coat, his arms on either side of my head.

"This is not you, Edward." I had to believe this was true. I had to believe that what Rosalie had said, that what Alice believed, was reality—that Edward cared for me, that the sweetness and protectiveness he'd shown was who he really was—not the surly, silent douche who was now trying to kick Mike's ass.

My hands were shaking but I placed them on his chest anyways, sucking in a breath at the feel of him. "Please. Whatever he's said--"

"I didn't say anything!" Mike's voice was an angry whine behind me, his breath hot against the back of my neck.

"You lying sack of--" Edward snapped, eyes flashing over my shoulder to Mike's face.

"I know he's lying," I interjected. I could feel my chest rising and falling quickly, panic, anger, and worry churning inside. "But I don't care." I could feel my whole body shaking now, not sure what else I could do to stop Edward from taking a swing at Mike. "Please," I was begging. "This is not you."

Edward's expression shifted marginally, his thinned lips relaxing. I put pressure behind my hands, pushing him backwards, away from Mike, exhaling with relief when his feet actually moved. The protests and groans of the crowd around us seemed to come from far away, a second surge of adrenaline coursing through my veins at having succeeded.

We were nearly across the courtyard when I dropped my hands, lowering my gaze to my feet as I tried to catch my breath. I felt as if I'd just run a mile.

"Are you crazy?" Edward suddenly bit out. My head jerked up, surprised at the anger in his voice. "You could have gotten--"

"That was kind of the point," I said tiredly. I stared at him, trying to find something other than anger in his expression. As usual, though, it was impossible to tell. And he certainly wasn't going to fill me in.

I turned on my heel and returned to the gym, ignoring the group of guys still crowded around Mike, their voices consoling.

I couldn't think, couldn't feel, could barely breathe through the last hour of the day. The road was a blur in front of me as I drove home and I realized as I stumbled to the front porch of my house that I was crying.

What the hell had happened? Had I really stepped in the middle of a fight like some kind of nagging hall monitor, telling Edward what to do? If Edward hadn't hated me before, he certainly did now. Who did I think I was? Acting as if I knew him, acting as if I knew what he was capable of, when he'd made so clear to me that I didn't know him at all. I was desperate to retreat to my room, hurrying up the stairs, so intent that I suddenly tripped on the top step. I cried out as I crashed to the floor, sucking in a breath at the feeling of my skin splitting over my knee. On top of everything else…

Once I got my tears under control, I stripped off my jeans and sat on the edge of the tub, hissing as I dribbled hydrogen peroxide over the cut. It had only bled a little and it didn't look as if it needed stitches…

I began to cry again, looking down at the scar on my palm, thinking of the drive to the hospital when Edward had told me my hair was beautiful…when I'd confessed that I was glad he was talking to me again. I started sobbing, my body shaking, remembering his confession the day he'd surprised me at home, how he'd ignored me because he'd wanted to deny that anything had changed…

I was still sitting in my underwear and henley on the edge of the tub when Charlie got home, my face drenched, barely able to see beyond my swollen lids. "Bells?" His voice called up the stairs.

The strangled noise I made didn't reassure him and I soon heard his feet clomping on the steps, not bothering to remove his boots.

"Bells?! What happened?"

"Edward…" I choked out, lifting my hands, covering my face. I'd held it in so long, numb to anything…and now it was crashing down around me.

"Goddamn that kid," Charlie swore under his breath. He gently grasped my elbows, gingerly pulling me to my feet. "What happened to your knee?" he asked. "Don't tell me—you fell."

I nodded silently, fresh tears trickling from my eyes.

It was obvious shit was bad given I was too devastated to be embarrassed that I was in my underwear in front of my dad. For once, he didn't seem to be uncomfortable with emotion or tears, pulling me to the sink and ordering me to splash some water on my face. "Do you want me to call your mother?" he asked gruffly as he led me into my bedroom, his arm protective around my shoulders.

I shook my head in response, knowing Renee would probably say something along the same lines as Rosalie and Alice…and I just couldn't hear it right now. "Why don't you lay down. I'll order some pizza and if you're hungry, you can come downstairs at any time to eat. Okay?" I nodded again, collapsing gratefully into my narrow bed.

Charlie pulled the quilt over my shoulders, his hands tender as he tucked it tight. He pressed his lips together and I knew he was struggling to say something, to find the words to make it better. "Listen, Bells." He took a deep breath and I could see my own sadness reflected in his lined features. "You'll get through this. I know you will. And I know it probably doesn't mean much right now, but your mother and I love you."

"I know, Dad," I whispered, my throat swollen and raw from all of the crying. "Thank you."

I heard his footfalls as he left the room, the door clicking shut behind him. Though I didn't think it was possible, I must have dozed after that. When I opened my eyes next, the windows were dark with night.

I lifted my head from the pillow, disoriented, rubbing my face. My eyes felt puffy and gritty with the dried salt from all of the crying. I shifted under the quilt, swinging my legs to the floor and turning on the bedside lamp. I felt drained but…alive. The tears had been cathartic, reminding me that I was capable of feeling something, as much as I'd tried to suppress it all week.

I went to the bathroom, washing my face and running a brush through my tangled hair. I could hear the television downstairs and felt reassured by my dad's presence. Turning back to my room, I pulled off my rumpled henley and grabbed an oversize Forks Police Department tee shirt to sleep in. I peered down at my knee, frowning as I saw it looked like it might start bleeding again. I was about to go back to the bathroom to grab a band-aid when I heard a tapping at my window.

Completely confused at the impossibility of such a sound, I reluctantly walked over, peering at the dark pane, trying to see beyond my own reflection in the glass.

The tapping sounded again, more urgent. Who the hell was at my window at…I glanced back at my alarm clock…ten at night? And how did they get up there?

I bent down, still only able to see my own frowning face in the glass, and pulled at the latch.

I might have shivered at the rush of cold January air that poured through the window if I hadn't been utterly shocked by the pair of uncertain green eyes staring back at me from the darkness. Edward's lanky figure was precariously perched on the tree branch that extended below my window, his legs awkwardly hitched behind him. He slapped his hands onto the sill and the branch creaked threateningly. I gasped, lunging for his wrists.

Edward was unconcerned with his own safety, his eyes narrowing as they adjusted to the light in my room. "What happened to your knee?"


	30. Through the Window

**Disclaimer:** All familiar elements belong to S. Meyers.

**

* * *

Thirty**

I was too shocked to do anything but answer, "I fell on the stairs." I stared at him with wide, disbelieving eyes, my mouth opening and closing several times. I tried to form my own questions, tried to think how to protest as he shifted his weight, preparing to launch himself through the window.

"Bells?" My dad's voice called from outside my door.

"Holy shit!"

"Fuck!"

We both swore in stunned whispers in the same instant. There was no time for him to get inside and if I shut the window, I'd smash his fingers and probably send him hurtling to the ground. A knock sounded at the door. I pressed a needless finger to my lips, spinning around and sitting down on the sill on top of his hands. I hoped beyond all hopes that, given the branch was slightly lower than the window, my body would conceal his bobbing head, my legs covering his hands grasping the sill.

"Come in, Dad!"

Charlie cracked the door and poked his head through. "You hungry? I was about to put the pizza in the fridge."

"No, Dad. I'm fine."

"Your window's open." His brows lowered.

"I fell asleep. You know how hot I get."

"Well, be sure to close it before you go to bed. I don't want you getting sick again."

"Will do."

The door clicked shut behind his dark head and I leapt up, spinning around and grabbing Edward's wrists again. His face was drawn and pale, and I wanted to make a crack that he was finally having a normal reaction—but the branch creaked again and I felt my own face drain of all blood.

Edward shifted his weight, leaning back, his fingers tightening on the sill before he threw himself through the open window, knocking us both to the bed in a tangle of limbs. I knew what he was doing but didn't have the sense to get out of his way, too worried to let go of his wrists. I lay there for a stunned moment, still trying to make sense of the fact that Edward was in my room, that he'd climbed through my window…and I didn't have any pants on.

I couldn't help the shriek that escaped my lips, scrambling to untangle myself and rushing to the dresser to find a pair of sweats. My dad's voice called from downstairs and I bit my lip so hard I thought I might draw blood, "Bells, was that you?"

I bent, pulling the sweats over my feet at the same time as I shuffled to the door, cracking it open. "Sorry, Dad! Saw a spider!" There was only a mutter in response and I slammed the door behind me, turning to see Edward sitting on my bed, a broad, uneasy smile on his face.

I opened my mouth to speak but no words would come out.

"Do you greet all the guys by planting your bare ass on their hands?" he asked.

"My ass was not bare! I have on underwear!" I hissed back, restraining the urge to swat him. How could he tease me like nothing had changed? I frowned, blinking back sudden, unexpected tears.

"Bella," he saw the shift in my expression and rose from the bed. I backed away, stumbling into the door knob in my haste.

Edward stilled, his eyes pained. I dropped my gaze, not wanting him to see how he affected me, wishing more than anything that he didn't. "What do you want, Edward?" I asked quietly.

I sensed him turn away and looked up, watching as he dragged his hands through his hair. It might have made me laugh on any other day, the gesture so familiar, but it only made my heart ache more. "I wanted to see you," he finally spoke, still facing away, towards the window he'd just climbed through.

"Why?" I forced my voice to stay even.

"Because I fucked up." Edward turned, his expression defensive, sad, and confused all at once. I frowned, trying to think what to say in response. "I--" He looked down, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "I freaked out--"

"Why?" My voice was hard, determined to confirm my suspicions. His tousled head darted up, staring at me with surprise.

"Because," his voice was quiet, a flush stealing up his cheeks. "I thought you were leaving."

"I'm not," I replied, still hard and unyielding. "You could have asked."

"I know." He had the sense to look ashamed, ducking his head and pulling at his hair. "I'm sorry," he added quietly.

I bit my lip, looking away. I wanted to be angry with him and was annoyed that I felt no such thing. More than anything, I felt unsure.

"Why did you stop the fight today?" My gaze swung back to his face, caught off guard by the question.

"I meant what I said. It isn't you."

"You don't know that."

"I think I know enough," I retorted, lifting my chin. His being here was confirmation of that. The asshole who'd told me he didn't care wouldn't have climbed through my window a week later.

"Why do you always think so highly of me?" He actually sounded aggravated and I could only stare at him open-mouthed.

"Wha…"

"I mean, you actually _knew_ about the drag-racing and you didn't care."

"It was an accident," I interjected, brows knitting together.

"I'm not a good guy." Edward's voice was insistent, the intensity of his gaze like a laser.

"That's just not true." I stepped towards him, lifting a hand tentatively to touch his forearm. The muscle beneath his jacket was rock hard with tension. "Everybody makes mistakes. And whatever happened before…" I bit my lip. "I'm sure there are reasons."

Edward exhaled loudly, the sound exasperated. "I broke his jaw. And gave him a concussion. There was a lawsuit. Carlisle had to settle out of court."

"And like Mike, this person had done nothing to provoke you?" His gaze flew up at Mike's name, green eyes penetrating as he stared at me. I didn't flinch, staring back.

"It's not the same."

"What did Mike say?" Edward ducked his head again, pulling a hand through his hair.

When he didn't speak, I added softly, "You're going to go bald, you know," daring to tease him. The tension in the room was oppressive and I couldn't take it anymore, stroking his arm where my hand still rested.

I thought I saw his cheek lift with the slightest smile before he was frowning again, his voice rough when he lifted his head. "You sat next to him at lunch. I think it got his hopes up." Edward paused, glaring at the memory. "I overheard him saying things about…you…that he was going to confirm the rumors." His mouth twisted over the words.

I flushed but forced my voice to remain even. "Then I should have been the one to decide whether to punch him in the face."

"Which you did," Edward replied, finally smiling. "I can't believe you stepped in like that." He lifted a brow. "Protective of Mike Newton? I never would have guessed it."

I gaped at him and swatted his arm. Before I could speak, he lifted a finger to his lips, reminding me to keep my voice down, a smile playing around his mouth. "Damnit, Edward!" My whisper was as loud as I dared, glaring at him. "Protecting Mike was the last thing on my mind. What if you'd gotten expelled? Or hurt?"

Edward made a scoffing noise, rolling his eyes. "Mike couldn't hurt a toddler."

I imagined Edward younger, slighter, lashing out for some still unknown reason. "It's too bad I wasn't there last time to stop you," I reflected, gazing up at him thoughtfully.

Edward's expression shifted from teasing to sudden intensity, his eyes filled with longing. "Will you be there? Now?"

I closed my eyes, my hand tightening around the fabric of his coat. "I wasn't the one who freaked out, Edward," I finally replied, opening my eyes. "I want to be there…I was planning on it—I know I should have said." I ducked my head. "Arizona isn't for me, not anymore--"

"Rosalie told me." Edward's hands were suddenly on my face, gently stroking my temples, the plane of my cheekbones, down to the curve of my jaw. I sighed at his touch, closing my eyes. "I'm sorry, Bella." The sincerity of his words was apparent, his voice almost anguished. "This is new for me…I know that's no excuse." He laughed softly and I opened my eyes, wondering at his amusement. "Alice told me not to make promises I couldn't keep--that I shouldn't promise to never be an asshole again."

I snorted.

"But I promise to try." He bent his head, his lips softly pressing against mine. "I won't shut you out." He kissed me again. "I won't ignore you." His breath was a whisper against my cheeks, his kisses gentle, seeking forgiveness. "I can't ignore you. It's impossible." I realized he had stubble for the first time since I'd known him, his cheek rough where it slid against my skin.

"Was Emmett ready to kill you again?" I teased softly, smiling as his lips found my throat, so gentle.

"_Jasper_ was pissed off at me, that's how bad it was."

"I can't even picture that. It'd be like a raging baby sloth."

"Baby sloth?" Edward raised his head, his expression quizzical. "You are so random sometimes."

"Says the guy who climbed through my window." I stretched up on my toes, kissing the bottom of his chin. It felt so good to be able to touch him. "What was wrong with the front door?"

"I didn't think your dad would let me in if he had half a clue what I'd said to you."

"Why did it bother you so much?" He looked confused as I switched gears. "The thought of me leaving." If I was going to ask, there was no better time than now.

Edward looked away, inhaling sharply. I pursed my lips, refusing to be daunted by his expression, a mixture of pained annoyance and resignation. He tugged at his hair briefly before reaching out a hand and gently threading his fingers through mine. "Come. Sit." He pulled me towards the bed, his eyes cast down, brow furrowed with thought.

I tucked a foot under me as I sank to the mattress, eyes fixed on his troubled face as he sat at my side. I didn't resist the urge to lift a hand and soothe away the crease between his brows. His emerald eyes met mine at the motion, surprised and pleased all at once. "My mother left me in a gas station when I was four." He spoke so abruptly, several seconds passed before I registered exactly what he'd said.

"A gas station…?" I said faintly.

"I don't know where we were going." Edward's voice was rough, his eyes dropping to my lap as he frowned at the faint memory. "The attendant called the police. I can remember sitting in the station and feeling…fine. Because it had happened before."

My hand tightened on his instinctively, swallowing. "I was in foster care for a few weeks while they located her nearest family. Then I lived with my grandmother, who moved from Chicago to take care of me." He paused, staring down at our joined hands, the frown returning to his brow. "There was no other family. She never mentioned my mother but I came to understand they hadn't talked for a long time." He took a deep breath, his shoulders sagging with the motion.

"My grandmother wasn't…the best with kids. Music was her life, even though she couldn't play as well as when she was young. She loved me but it was hard for her, I think." He paused again and when he spoke next, his voice was so quiet, I struggled to make out the words. "I was eleven when she sent me back to foster care. I didn't know why. I thought I'd done something wrong."

I instinctively lifted a hesitant hand, hoping he wouldn't resent it, exhaling with relief when he let me touch his shoulder. "I later found out she'd been diagnosed with terminal cancer. I didn't know that her husband, my grandfather…he died the same way…before I was born. She didn't want me to see her deteriorate…"

"Oh, Edward." Tears welled in my eyes but I blinked them back.

"I wish she would have told me. I wish she would have given me the choice." His voice had become gruff again, angry at the memory. "They told me there wasn't a funeral but I was so mad, I don't think I would have gone." He looked up, daring me to judge him, to loathe him as much as he did himself. I stared back, unflinching, trying to communicate with all of my being how much my heart went out to him.

Edward looked away first, his eyes dropping to our joined hands. "The first family I was placed with—they were fine. Normal. They had a daughter—Alice reminds me of her. But I didn't talk to her. I kept running away--"

"Running away?"

"To the bus depot, the park, anywhere. I was placed with a different family a few weeks later. I couldn't really blame them; who wants to call the police every week and file another missing persons report?" I bit my lip, trying to be fair but thinking that I would have. "Eight or nine…I lost count after the fifth family."

"That you stayed with?"

Edward just nodded his head, his eyes still fixed on our hands. "Then…" He took a deep breath, his shoulders drooping again as he exhaled. "Lee. That was the first kid who I…I lost my temper with." At my quizzical stare, he added, "He made fun of me for being in foster care."

"What did you do?" I asked quietly, knowing the answer.

"I hit him," Edward replied, his voice equally quiet. "I wasn't suspended that first time. But the second time, when his friends came after me, I was. My foster parents were angry with me. It was faster after that, being placed with a new family."

"Does it get worse?" I asked evenly

Edward looked up, frowning slightly. "Worse?"

"The more you're moved, do the placements get worse?"

His grin was crooked but didn't reach his eyes. "Yeah," he said softly. "By the time the juvenile court judge ordered me to see a child psychologist, it was...pretty bad."

I frowned at him, not wanting him to pull punches. We were sitting there talking about this finally—why get evasive again? "Bad how?"

Edward looked away, his green eyes distant. Slowly, he lifted our joined hands, his knuckles moving to my palm, forcing my fingers flat. He bent his head slightly and pushed my hand through his hair, pressing down when my fingertips reached his crown. I didn't flinch when I felt the scar on his scalp, inhaling deeply and then caressing his skin tenderly. Edward sighed deeply as I dragged my hand through his hair and down to his cheek, turning his head to nuzzle my palm.

"Couldn't anyone…do anything?" The question felt silly even as I spoke it.

Edward shrugged, capturing my hand again. "He knew how to hit so it wouldn't show."

I felt the tears again and bit the inside of my cheek to fight them back. "I'm sorry," I whispered.

He shrugged again. "The child psychologist was a good friend of Esme's from college." He paused, considering. "Esme couldn't have kids. She'd just found out." He took a deep breath. "She wanted to meet me. I still don't understand…They could have adopted…anyone."

I wanted to interrupt, wanted to tell him that I understood but he spoke before I could form the words. "And I was so fucked up. I barely talked to them. Wouldn't eat dinner with them, tried to pick a fight with the piano teacher they hired…" He chuckled but the sound was harsh. "And in the middle of all the happiness I was bringing into their lives, they brought home Alice."

I fought back the urge to hug him, wanting to be sure he continued. "And she took your room."

Edward laughed but the sound was more genuine. "The social worker, the child psychologist—everyone said it would help."

"And they were right."

Edward frowned, clearly finding words inadequate. "Alice was like…this whirlwind."

"She still is," I replied wryly. Edward nodded, a smile curving his lips.

"Everything she'd been through…she'd just gotten out of detox, the psych ward, her mother…We all wanted to take care of her, protect her, and she wasn't having any of it." He laughed. "She was the one who had the balls to tell Carlisle and Esme a brother would have been a better thing for me since I was still so aggro. She'd even scheduled an appointment with Child Services."

I couldn't help laughing at that, instinctively covering my mouth with my hand, feeling like any humor was out of place. Edward took my hand from my lips, smiling into my eyes. "I like when you laugh." I blushed in response.

"So that was how Emmett…?" I asked, never comfortable with his compliments.

Edward nodded. "Within a month. Carlisle joked that if Alice wanted a sister, she should put in her request right away. She said she'd take it into consideration." I smiled, easily able to imagine the conversation. "Though by the end of the year, she and Rosalie were so close that I doubt she ever thought about it."

"So coming to Forks was a good thing?" I asked softly, more of a statement than a question.

"A very good thing," Edward replied.

I shifted on the bed so that I was leaning into his side, wanting more than anything to have some kind of physical contact, to comfort and be comforted. I sighed when I felt him lean back, grateful that after telling me so much, he didn't feel differently. The weight of his arm came around my shoulders, his lips breathing into my hair. "Bella," he murmured my name. "When I said," he began. His fingers found my chin, turning my face so he could see my eyes. "When I said I didn't care for you…I lied."

I nodded solemnly in response, searching his face. "I know."

The only sound for some time was our even breathing, leaning into each other, hands tightly clasped. I could feel my eyes fluttering shut and struggled to keep them open, not wanting to lose this moment, uncertain it would be real when I woke in the morning.

My hands weakly clutched at Edward's collar as he shifted, trying to get me to lay down, refusing to let him go. His voice was soothing, murmuring reassurances as he tucked me under the quilt. I only relaxed when I felt his weight sinking next to me on top of the covers, his arm draped over my waist. "I'm not going anywhere," he murmured, his lips in my hair.

It felt like a dream when I woke in the middle of the night to his lips on my own, my eyes flying open at the familiar, wonderful sensation. "Shhh," he whispered, a slight smile tilting his lips. I lifted my head from the pillow, disoriented but happy. "Your dad's finally asleep," he added. I saw he had his shoes in his hands and couldn't help my frown of disappointment. "I'll be back in the morning," he assured me, leaning forward to kiss me once more. I smiled in return, realizing he couldn't very well leave the way he'd come in.

"See you tomorrow," I whispered back, desperately wishing he could stay.

Edward's teeth flashed in the dark with one more brilliant smile before he disappeared through my bedroom door.


	31. Past Revisited

**Disclaimer**: All familiar elements belong to S. Meyers.

Giant, enormous thanks to Ninapolitan for choosing Nicknames for the Twitter readalong. Equal thanks to the Fictionators for recommending this story--and to anyone else who may have recommended it elsewhere. I appreciate it so very much.

* * *

**Thirty-One**

Maybe it was the promise of being nearby. Maybe it was my changed attitude, smiling and happy after a solid week of glum silence. It could also have been Alice's pert presence, bouncing around the kitchen several nights a week, supposedly helping me with dinner but more often preoccupied with charming Charlie out of his usual taciturn sports-watching.

Whatever the reason, my dad's reaction to Edward's return to my life was surprisingly calm. When he initially saw the Volvo outside the front windows dropping me off after school, I heard him sigh sharply, his brows drawing together. I held my breath but he didn't speak to protest—and I certainly wasn't going to ask him to. Later that week, when he saw Edward and me in the kitchen working on applications for the University of Washington, Western, and Oregon State, his eyes widened, his mustache twitching as if he wanted to speak. I waited, my pen frozen over the forms, uncertain of what his response would be. When he gruffly offered to proofread our essays if we needed a second pair of eyes, the words deliberately casual, I had to stifle my grin.

Esme had the complete opposite reaction of Charlie's surly but silent acceptance, forcefully embracing me when she saw me next. "Bella!"

I could only blush at her enthusiasm, weakly returning her hug. From the corner of my eye I could see Edward looking away, clearly embarrassed. "I'm so glad you're here!" Esme released me, her chocolate eyes glowing as she took me in. It was obvious she meant more than on this day alone—that she was thrilled Edward and I were back together, even if she couldn't say in so many words.

"Me, too," I whispered, looking down as my cheeks flushed brighter.

"And I heard you guys spent most of yesterday working on your applications?"

"Yeah, for the U, Western, and Oregon State."

"We should be finished by the end of the week," Edward interjected, shoving his hands in his pockets, looking as if he wanted to change the subject.

Alice chose that moment to bound through the door leading to the garage, having rode home with the Hales after school. "Bella!" Her cry was somehow more enthusiastic than Esme's, her slight figure slamming into me with such force that I stumbled. "We're so glad to see you!" Jasper trailed after her, a smile curling his lips. "Now we don't have to worry about Edward flunking out and eating out of garbage cans!"

"Alice," The warning in Esme's voice was belied by the laugh she was choking on.

"So dramatic, Alice," Jasper grinned, placing a hand on his girlfriend's shoulder.

"I couldn't be if Edward wasn't first!" Alice protested. "Locking himself in his room, blasting that awful music--"

"Alice," Edward's voice was ominous, his hand closing around mine, pulling me away from the welcoming committee.

"I didn't mention that you set your applications on fire," Alice shot back, refusing to be silenced.

My head swiveled, staring at Edward in shock. We were already halfway across the living room as he practically dragged me towards the stairs. "Please tell me you were outside when you did that," I managed to ask before we reached the second floor.

"I have anger management issues, not pyromania," Edward replied shortly before we came to his room.

"Why would you do such a thing?" I asked, utterly confused as I sank down onto his bed. Edward pretended deep interest in his collection of CDs, his back to me.

He shrugged, still facing away. "It just seemed pointless."

"And now it doesn't?" I refused to back down, leaning to my left, trying to make out his expression.

"You could say that." Edward's voice was noncommittal but I knew better, rising from the bed and crossing to his side. I had to stretch, reaching up to caress the back of his neck, the hair so soft where it curled around his ears. I felt him strain ever so slightly against my touch, like a cat.

He turned pulling me into his arms, silencing any further questions with his lips.

The only conversation that occupied us in the following weeks was the pros and cons of the schools we'd applied to. It was an easy discussion to lose hours to, everyone engaged even though some had already made up their minds. Emmett and Rosalie were clear cheerleaders for the University of Washington while Jasper and Alice were increasingly inclined towards Western in Bellingham.

"Who would choose to live anywhere but Seattle?" Rosalie's voice was dismissive as we sat at the usual table in the cafeteria.

"Anything would be better than Forks," I countered as I popped a fry into my mouth. Rosalie's little intervention had gone a long way towards erasing my fear of her general iciness. I was sure I came across as equally reserved when I initially met people; I simply wasn't so beautiful that sheer intimidation compounded the impression.

"I'd like to avoid classes with five hundred people," Jasper added.

"And where the professor doesn't even know your name," Alice agreed, leaning her spiky head onto his shoulder.

"As if any professor could avoid knowing who you are," Edward grinned, laying a hand casually across my nape.

"I could just see Pixie Stick hugging some poor old fuddy duddy in a corduroy jacket on her first day," Emmett added, laughing as he shoved half a slice of pizza into his mouth.

"And then giving him a crystal just because," I smiled.

"They have harmonizing energy!" Alice protested, lifting her head from Jasper's shoulder.

"We really should do a road trip." Rosalie interjected before Alice could get too riled, tilting her blond head thoughtfully. "Didn't someone suggest it at the solstice?"

I grimaced, remembering my response at the time. "I don't know if Charlie--"

Alice interrupted, a small pale hand grasping my wrist before I could finish the sentence. "You just leave that to me, Bella."

"Spring break road trip!" Emmett hollered, momentarily drawing the stares of the cafeteria.

I flushed at the attention, tucking my chin into my neck and focusing on my fries. I didn't have the heart to tell the table there was very little chance I'd be able to go.

"So you're heading to Seattle and Bellingham for spring break?" My mouth dropped as my dad casually mentioned the road trip I was certain couldn't happen over dinner later that week.

"Spring break?" I responded dumbly, unable to process his neutral expression as he dug his fork into the meatloaf I'd made that evening.

"Yeah. Esme called me. Said she was chaperoning you kids so you could check out the colleges."

"Oh."

"She wanted to know if I could go," he added, looking down at his plate as he speared several leaves of lettuce with his fork.

"She did?" My voice came out as a squeak despite my best efforts.

"I don't think the station could spare me, though."

I took a deep breath. "No?" I'd recovered my composure, taking a bite of my temporarily forgotten dinner.

"Spring break in Forks?" he scoffed. "There'll be keggers down on the res, teenagers on the road breaking the speed limit, loitering outside the Thriftway…no, I don't think I can go." He chewed thoughtfully, his dark eyes speculative. "If Esme can handle those Cullen boys, I'm sure watching after you won't be a problem."

"No," I smiled, beginning to accept that this conversation wasn't some kind of hallucination. "Thanks, Dad," I added.

Despite riding with Emmett to pick up the Hales, Alice made certain to track me down before school the following morning, nearly accosting me in the parking lot. "I told you I'd make it happen!" she trilled as she wrapped her arms around me.

I looked up at Edward but he simply shook his messy head, a rueful grin tilting his lips. I remembered how he'd told me never to bet against Alice the fateful weekend we'd been snowed in. I truly knew what he meant now.

Despite his calm when broaching the topic, as spring break neared, Charlie became decidedly twitchy and nervous at the prospect of my departure. "It's just a week, Dad," I tried to reassure him as I stuffed my duffle with pajamas, jeans, and hoodies. I fisted my hands in the clothes, trying to hide their shaking. I had my own reasons for feeling jittery about the trip.

Though Alice had never broached the topic as bluntly as the day of that nerve-wracking drive to Port Angeles, she'd made enough innuendoes that I knew she hadn't forgotten her quest. Luckily, I was rarely alone with her and she certainly wasn't going to bring it up in front of Edward. While I knew she didn't begin to fear his wrath, the fallout from that kind of overt meddling was obviously something she didn't want to risk.

The truth was, my hands were shaking because I suspected a fun spring break wasn't her only goal in convincing Charlie to let me go on the road trip.

It was easy to forget my trepidation once we were all loaded up in the sleek black Mercedes, Esme's face glowing as she peered in the rear view mirror. "Ready for some terrible 80s music?" she asked with a huge smile.

"Hell yeah, Mom!" Alice was in the passenger seat, bouncing with excitement against the restraint of the seat belt. Rosalie and I sat in the back, probably equally surprised at our shared grins.

Esme pushed a button on the iPod docked in the dashboard and the Go Gos began blaring, filling the car with poppy music.

The guys trailed behind the Mercedes in the Volvo and I couldn't help commenting, "I'm trying to picture Carlisle driving to the hospital in the Jeep and I just…can't."

"Oh, he's had to do it before," Esme replied, her brown eyes finding mine in the rear view mirror. "Not often, of course. We don't like being away from each other for too long."

"You're such a sap, Mom," Alice laughed.

"You're one to talk," Rosalie interjected, never willing to let Alice get away with anything. "You were pressuring Jasper to ride with us until the last minute."

Alice turned in her seat, her bow lips pressed into an angry pout. "He could have fit. It's not as if Bella takes up much space."

"I think it's better this way," Esme broke in before the exchange could escalate into a spat. "Girls and guys. They can talk about video games and we can talk about--"

"Anything but shopping," I spoke up, my voice firm.

"I was going to say what you're thinking about for your majors!" Esme laughed and I felt my cheeks warm—but not nearly as badly as might have been the case even a few weeks ago. I'd lost much of my nervousness around the Cullens; it was impossible not to given how easily they welcomed me as one of their own.

"The prerequisites for engineering are kind of intimidating but I know I want to give it a shot," Rosalie responded to the question, clearly eager to talk to a parental figure that was actually interested in her future.

"There's a lot of math and chemistry, right?" Esme asked.

Rosalie nodded, digging into her purse for the course guide that had arrived with her acceptance letter to the University of Washington.

The conversation continued in this vein as the miles flew by, the green of the Olympic peninsula giving way to the gray of the wide interstate, the capitol soon appearing on the horizon. We were only an hour or so from Seattle.

I couldn't help craning my head towards the window as the skyscrapers of downtown appeared, the sports stadiums in the foreground. Orange shipping cranes perched over the water like enormous neon birds, unmoving on this cloudy Sunday. Alice spun the wheel of the iPod and Rosalie groaned as the opening chords of an angry guitar filled the car.

"Pearl Jam, Alice? Really?"

"It's for Bella! She's never been!"

"Carlisle and I went to see them at the Moore when their first album came out," Esme reminisced, a small smile flitting over her mouth.

"We've heard the story before, Mom," Alice rolled her eyes. "And Eddie Vedder crowd surfed right over your heads."

"Your father nearly took a boot to the face, Alice. It was pretty memorable," Esme's voice was chiding.

The chorus came on and almost without thinking, we all joined in, Rosalie deepening her alto to approximate the singer's trademark growl. I couldn't help laughing when the chorus ended, astonished that I could feel so happy when I'd been so nervous only hours before.

Before long, Esme was signaling to exit, the narrow streets of the University District crowded and close after the wide lanes of the interstate. Rambling houses were nestled alongside brick apartment buildings, people filling the sidewalks in reassuringly casual clothes.

"Here we are!" The Watertown Hotel was only a few blocks from the main campus, young men in black vests springing from behind the glass doors to help us with our suitcases. I was reluctant to give up my duffle, embarrassed to think of anyone carrying my meager things, blushing as a grinning bellhop reached towards me with bright eyes.

"I've got it." The Volvo was minutes behind us, its engine so silent I hadn't noticed it draw up behind the Mercedes until Edward was at my side. He effortlessly took the bag from my hand and I frowned as he glowered at the bellhop.

"You have the worst jealous streak," I muttered under my breath as we followed Esme and Alice into the hotel lobby.

"Then you should stop being so pretty," Edward's half grin was disarming as always but I attempted to glare in response. It was a useless effort however, my eyes soon crinkling with unwilling laughter.

I went to respond but was distracted by the sleek, modern interior of the lobby, pendant lamps hanging above a reception counter in a pale wood, chairs and sofas in red dotted around the space. Esme was already turning, handing us our room cards. "Why don't you guys stretch your legs and check out the campus while they get our bags settled?"

"Sounds like a plan, Mom," Emmett replied, his arm slung around Rosalie's waist. "I'm starving anyways and there's got to be a good pizza place around here."

"It is a university neighborhood," Jasper acknowledged.

Alice led the way back through the glass doors and out onto the street, a mascot at the front of our trailing pack. Edward hung back deliberately, his hand tugging at mine to prevent me from keeping up with her quick pace. Emmett was the first to break off, taking an abrupt right at University Avenue, dragging a protesting Rosalie in the direction of fast food. "Greasy goodness, Rose!" I could hear him faintly exclaiming as his curly head disappeared among the throng of people.

"Let's see if we can find the library," Edward quietly offered as we came to the main entrance of the campus, brick buildings rising behind copses of rhododendrons and laurels.

"What about Alice and Jasper?" I asked, stopping reluctantly as Edward drew to a halt, his gaze peering past mine as if determining which direction to go.

"All she wants to do is check out the computer labs," Edward answered, green eyes settling back on my face. "Unless you want to listen to her quiz the lab tech as to what design software they have licensed…"

My wrinkled nose was an adequate response, Edward smiling as he pulled me into a stream of people heading deeper into the campus. I soon lost sight of Alice and Jasper, her petite figure easily vanishing in the crowd.

The stream abruptly dispersed as we came to a wide open space paved entirely in neat maroon brick. "Red Square," Edward explained at my wide eyes, trying to absorb the impressive buildings rising around with architecture that reminded me of European churches. In contrast, modern sculptures dotted the space, geometric and sharp against the gray sky.

"Have you been here before?" I managed to ask as he led me towards the largest of the surrounding buildings, struggling to not feel intimidated as people who looked so much older passed by, weighed down by backpacks, their features intent and purposeful.

"When Carlisle was attending at Harborview, he had privileges at the U as well. The social worker thought it was a good idea for me to spend time here." At my quizzical expression he added, "So I'd be comfortable in a college environment," his mouth twisted over the words, tinged with sarcasm. I caressed his hand within my own, stroking his palm with my finger tips. I was always grateful for the little glimpses he gave me of his life before, trying to show my appreciation and soothe the bad memories at the same time.

"And you hung out at the library?" I asked, nodding towards the building as we approached the doors.

"Yeah, mostly. Sometimes I'd just surf the internet in the computer labs." I smiled, trying to picture a skinnier version of my boyfriend perched among the college students—most likely with his typical annoyed expression.

"Anarchist web sites, right?" I asked teasingly.

But Edward wasn't smiling back. He stopped in his tracks, the movement so sudden that my hand jerked in his grasp, forced to halt as well. I watched in alarm as his eyes narrowed, his cheeks tinging with an angry flush. I turned my head, confused, wondering what had so suddenly drawn his attention and apparent ire.

"Edward Cullen! I'm surprised to find you here!"

The voice was playful but tinged with aggression, a young blond man staring at Edward with equal fixation. He was slim but wiry, his blue eyes slits as his lips twisted in a poor approximation of a smile.

Edward's voice was measured when he replied. "Where else would I be, James?"


	32. Scheming

**Disclaimer**: All familiar elements belong to S. Meyers. I hope the quick update makes up for the lack of teaser/previews. Thank you again for all of the reviews, faves, and alerts.

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**Thirty-Two**

"_Where else would I be, James?"_

Edward asked the question quietly, his voice so soft I wasn't sure if the strange man could hear it over the murmur of students passing around us, in and out of the library doors.

"Jail. Juvie. Wherever they lock up losers like you." I gasped, my hand tightening around Edward's compulsively. I was afraid to look at him, certain he'd lose his temper at any moment, my throat closing as I thought of how little chance I had of stopping him this time. I tried to swallow, my mouth dry, muscles tensing as adrenaline surged through my system. I didn't know how I would intervene, I only knew I would have to do something.

"How is Alice, Edward?" I didn't realize Edward hadn't responded until James spoke again, his voice softly menacing as he tilted his head. I could feel my own eyes narrow, taking in as much detail as possible, wondering if I'd have to be a witness for a police report, silently pleading in my head that it wouldn't come to that.

James was shorter than Edward but probably by only a few inches, his frame less lanky but still lean in a plaid shirt and jeans. Beat up running shoes on his feet gave away his athleticism, shifting onto his toes as he spoke. I tensed, fearing he was about to leap, my hand clenching impossibly tighter on Edward's fingers.

"How's Victoria, James?" Edward didn't answer the question, his voice deliberately casual though I could hear the restrained anger beneath the words. I risked glancing in his direction and was surprised to see the angry flush had faded from his cheeks, his green eyes hard as he stared at James.

"Perfectly fine. Accepted to the U, along with me."

"Lucky you." The biting sarcasm of Edward's tone could be lost on no one.

I allowed my hand to relax minutely as I saw that all of the tension I was feeling seemed to be absent from Edward's frame, his shoulders low, his limbs loose as he faced the man I had no doubt must have figured in his troubled past.

Allowing myself to physically relax gave my mind permission to race, thinking Edward must have been in a fight with this person before; there was no other reasonable explanation for the barely suppressed violence thrumming beneath their exchange. I wondered if James might be the reason behind one of Edward's expulsions and tried to imagine him several years younger, several inches shorter. The crafty menace in his expression belied his youth, aging his narrow features.

"And who is this?" I was surprised to find his attention turning to me, blinking as his blue eyes shifted away from Edward. I leaned back uneasily, my hands suddenly growing slick with sweat under his appraising stare. I decided James was infinitely creepy.

"None of your business," Edward bit out. I didn't realize just how relaxed he had been before that moment, his body suddenly so tense that I wouldn't have been surprised to feel electricity shoot into my hand through his own.

My concern instantly shifted back to him, no longer able to care about the predatory smile dancing across James' mouth. If Edward flew off the handle now…

"We'll see." James laughed softly, shifting back onto his heels. Shoving his hands in his pockets, he stepped forward, walking directly towards Edward. I longed to jerk him out of the way but knew I couldn't move Edward an inch if he wasn't willing to go. At the last moment, James feinted left, his shoulder bumping against Edward's with a muted thump. My fingers tightened again, tensed for Edward to turn and chase after the slim, blond man.

I didn't realize I was holding my breath until Edward spoke, releasing me from the paralyzed anticipation that had locked me at his side.

"Did you still want to go?" He inclined his tousled head towards the doors of the library, green eyes guarded as he looked down at my doubtlessly pale face.

"Of-of course," I choked out, struggling to think, to grasp what had just happened. How had we avoided a disaster? How could we be casually passing into the library as if we'd never run into this person from Edward's past? "Who…?" I managed to garble, staring in confusion at Edward's passive expression.

"From high school," he said shortly, tugging me past the main counter where librarians were checking out books to weary looking students. "The final straw that decided the move to Forks," he bluntly added. I tried to process this news, unable to focus on my surroundings. Edward slowed his pace when he saw me stumble; I was too distracted to remember how to move my feet.

"I can't believe it," I whispered, my eyes losing their focus as we approached a wide stair case.

"Can't believe what?" Edward asked quietly, his brows lowering as he glanced over his shoulder.

"Edward," I began, tugging at his hand, forcing him to stop. We were on a landing, fluorescent lights glaring above, the faint smell of floor polish sharp on the air.

"What?" he asked warily, staring down at me. I smiled gently, trying to reassure him, still not quite certain I could believe it myself.

"You didn't lose your temper," I said softly, lifting my hands to his face. Now that my anxiety was gone, the adrenaline draining away, relief and…pride was taking its place. I knew my eyes must be glowing with it, warmth filling my belly.

"No," he responded just as softly, his brow relaxing as he gazed down at me. "No, I didn't."

I stretched up on my toes, unable to resist kissing him, suffused with a mix of feelings that were impossible to identify…perhaps this was what bliss felt like? The moment my lips found his, he deepened the kiss, tongue darting inside, sweeter than sweet, making it impossible to think.

All too quickly, Edward was reluctantly drawing away with a ragged breath, his pupils dilated as he gazed down at me. I gazed back with so much affection welling in my chest that I don't know how I stayed silent, my hands pressed to his cheeks, lips parted with the desire to tell him just how much he meant to me.

Edward spoke first. "Well, I guess that crosses the U off the list." He didn't sound angry, only vaguely amused.

My eyes regained focus and I laughed as I registered his words. "I guess it does."

Though we drifted around the winding corridors, glancing with cursory eyes at the racks of books, I remembered very little of what I saw. I was still too giddy, too relieved, too full to bursting of emotion. It was as if the faith I'd always had in Edward's goodness had finally been confirmed…and under the most difficult of circumstances.

I wasn't sure it was my place to share what had happened but Edward relieved me of the worry by bringing it up the moment we sat down to dinner at a restaurant next door to the hotel. Everyone had barely taken their seats, Alice already rattling on at a mile a minute about the outdated version of Photoshop in the main computer lab, Emmett nose deep in the menu. "We ran into James in front of Odegaard."

The table fell instantly silent, Emmett fumbling his menu while Alice's jaw dropped in a mixture of horror and astonishment. Esme was the first to speak, a worried frown forming between her delicate brows. "Oh, no," she breathed quietly.

"I'm not scared of that prick," Emmett angrily interjected, the first to recover from his surprise.

"Language," Esme warned quietly.

"Sorry, Mom," Emmett apologized though his tone was still aggressive. "Are you sure?" he asked, dark eyes narrowing as he gazed at Edward's calm face.

"No doubt," Edward replied. I could feel the weight of his hand on my own beneath the table and turned mine over, threading my fingers with his.

"It's a huge school," Rosalie added, clearly attempting to dismiss the issue for Emmett's sake as well as her own. "The odds of running into him much are very slim."

"It's unbelievable you saw him today," Esme added quietly, her fingers nervously plucking at the corner of her menu. I bit my lip, thrown off guard by the sight of Edward's calm, ever confident mother appearing the least bit anxious.

"I think it's actually pretty lucky," Edward's words were measured, his hand tightening around my own.

"Yeah," Alice finally spoke, her pale face having recovered some color. Of everyone at the table, she seemed the most affected. I didn't know that I'd ever seen Alice shocked into silence before, her blue eyes wide and stricken. My brow furrowed, wondering exactly what the story was behind this creepy guy; if his beef was with Edward, why would Alice care?

Jasper's hand was on her back, moving in consoling circles. Alice turned her dark head, smiling at him weakly before turning her attention back to the table. "I guess that crosses the U off the list."

Edward laughed shortly. "That's exactly what I said."

"Oh, but that shouldn't affect your decision!" Esme tried to protest.

"No, Mom, it's really no big deal," Edward tried to reason.

Alice was nodding, backing him up. "It was definitely my third choice," she added. "Jasper and I can check out Seattle University tomorrow and Tuesday we'll head up to Bellingham."

Esme's lips had thinned but she didn't argue, exhaling as she opened her menu again.

The sidewalk was damp with a light rain that had only just stopped falling when we returned to the hotel, laughing as we ducked through the glass doors into the modern lobby. "I can't believe you ate two sundaes, Emmett!" I exclaimed.

"If Rosalie says she only wants a bite--"

"You could let her have a bite of yours," I cried.

"Oh, no," he shook his head. "I don't share."

"He never has," Esme was laughing too, her smile lovely as she gazed at her son. We all ducked into the elevator, Edward pulling me tightly to his side as Esme pushed the button for the third floor. She turned her head, her voice firm as she spoke over her shoulder. "I don't mind you guys watching a movie together but everyone needs to end up in their own beds."

"Yes, Mom." Alice had the classic, put-upon tone only she could adopt with Esme, her blue eyes rising to the mirrored ceiling of the elevator with mock exasperation.

"Don't think I don't know about your scheming, Mary Alice Brandon Cullen." While Esme's voice was gruff, her smile belied her words, reaching a slender hand to Alice's head and ruffling the halo of crazy locks. Alice simply huffed a sigh while I felt myself tense within the circle of Edward's arms, wondering exactly what Esme was referring to.

Though Esme had booked two doubles in addition to a suite for herself, we quickly discovered that the girls' room had the larger television. Emmett threw himself down on one of the beds, remote in hand as he began scrolling through the channels. "That's your bed, then, Rosalie," Alice said with a wrinkled nose, eyeing the rucked up floral duvet beneath her brother with faint disgust. "I don't think I want to risk cross-contamination with Emmett's feet."

Emmett had opened his mouth to retort but Rosalie spoke before he could, "Fine. You and Bella can share the other bed. You're both midgets anyways." Then, to Emmett, "If you'd use those charcoal inserts like I ask you to…"

"Rosalie," he whined, a faint flush coloring his cheeks. I could only laugh, forgetting my nervousness from a moment before. Edward pulled me down onto the other bed, our backs against the headboard, while Jasper and Alice sprawled on the floor on a nest of pillows. She seemed preoccupied, flipping through a brochure on local attractions while Emmett tried to get everyone to agree to watch an action movie.

"You know I hate Nicolas Cage," Rosalie protested, thumping him with a pillow.

"But it's based on a comic," Emmett argued but was soon shot down by the crowd.

I didn't realize how much time had passed until there was a knock on the door, Esme poking her head through a second later. "It's nearly midnight, kids. Boys, back to your own room." It was amazing how she could sound so gentle and firm at the same time, her caramel hair caught at her nape, her face freshly scrubbed.

A chorus of agreement sounded from Emmett, Edward and Jasper, stretching and yawning as they rose from their respective positions around the room. "See you in the morning," Jasper said softly, his hand lingering on Alice's cheek as he followed the Cullen brothers into the hall.

Rosalie and Alice immediately shot towards the single bathroom, their jockeying for the sink and arguing over the soaps and lotions a distant clamor as I reclined back on the mattress, tucking my hands under my head. Whatever Alice's scheming, Esme obviously wasn't going to shirk her duties as chaperone. I felt a strange mix of relief and disappointment at the thought.

Though she had once claimed to never sleep, Alice was the first to drift off after turning out the light, her deep, regular breathing giving her away—as did the fact that she was soon burrowed into my side. The last thing I remembered before passing out myself was laughing softly at the feel of her tiny feet pressing against my own.

When I woke, I was momentarily disoriented by the feeling of someone's weight next to me, solid warmth pressing into my ribs. I blinked a few times before remembering that I'd shared one of the double beds with Alice, shifting onto my back to try and put some distance between her body and my own; she was like a furnace putting out an uncomfortable degree of heat.

"Good morning." The deep voice that greeted me brought a shriek from my throat, flinching away as I realized it was not Alice pressed against me.

I'd nearly lunged from the covers but a firm arm was around my waist, pulling me back to his side. "Edward!" I whispered, eyes wide with surprise and embarrassment. I didn't want to think about my morning breath, my hair a tangle around my head, instinctively putting my hands to my face.

His soft laugh was his only response, green eyes amused as he pulled me closer. I gasped as I realized what was pressing against my hip, my eyes flying to his face as blood filled my cheeks. "Rosalie--" I started, trying to lift my head from the pillow.

Edward planted a kiss on my lips, silencing my panic. "You know Alice never sleeps in. She, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett are having breakfast downstairs."

"That sneaky--" I started again, eyes narrowing. But Edward was kissing me once more and it was impossible to be truly angry, sighing as he nipped my bottom lip with sharp teeth. "Edward," I murmured, lifting my hands to his face, to the hair at his nape, suddenly eager for his warmth.

"Bella," he answered softly. His green gaze was searching as he drew away, staring hard into my eyes, his expression intent. "Is this okay?" he quietly asked, a slight tremor to his voice giving away his own anxiety.

I didn't even hesitate. "Yes."

His hands were instantly at my waist, pulling my tee shirt over my head; I couldn't care that my hair was doubtlessly made crazier than ever. "Kiss me," I whispered, then gasped as his lips crashed to mine. Edward was confident with my permission, tongue thrusting into my mouth, his hips mimicking the motion. "Edward," I sighed as his lips trailed to my throat, to my shoulder, hands firm as he pushed me onto my back.

He grunted as he pulled his own tee shirt off, then sighed as he settled against me, skin against skin. His hands were everywhere, drifting over my ribs, to the swell of my breasts, over my collarbones, his lips not far behind. "Bella," he murmured against my nipple. I couldn't answer, gasping, lost to the sensation of his mouth, his tongue, teeth scraping against the tender, sensitive flesh.

Edward didn't flinch at the feeling of my nails against his scalp, his lips only growing more insistent against the hardened peak. My own hips were rising frantically from the mattress, hungry for more, the coil in my belly insistent, muscles bunching with need.

I didn't register when his hands pushed away the barrier of my sweats, the cotton fabric shucked around my ankles. Even as I realized I should try and kick the things free, I was distracted by his fingers pressing up my thighs, choking on a moan as I kicked my foot feebly, forgetting what I was trying to do. "Edward!" I cried as a single finger slipped inside, hips bucking as my hands scrambled at his shoulders.

"Christ, Bella," he groaned, his head dropping to my shoulder, lips moist against the skin there. Gasping, strangled noises were coming from my throat but I couldn't be quiet, couldn't think straight, eyes pressed shut against the insane sensation billowing through my body.

Edward's hand was moving, fingers and thumb slipping against me, his other hand pressing so firmly into the flesh of my thigh that I was distantly sure it would leave a bruise. I was beyond caring, hips thrashing against his hand, head thrown back as the coil tightened, my legs nearly cramping with the tension my body was fighting to release.

I cried out as warmth abruptly flooded my muscles, toes pointing as I arched so forcefully against him that I nearly rocked us from the bed. I knew I was shaking, clinging to him, thought slowly returning as I opened my eyes. Edward was staring down at me with wonder, his green eyes unfathomable as he leaned down to kiss me.

His voice was so quiet when he finally spoke that I wasn't certain I'd heard the words clearly. "You talk in your sleep,".

"I…" Not having fully recovered my senses, I could only frown with vague confusion. My mom had teased me for the habit before but since I didn't really go to slumber parties, it hadn't crossed my mind in a long time.

Edward's mouth was at my throat, the bronze strands of his hair tickling my cheek, his hands moved languidly over my breasts. "You said you loved me," he added softly.

For perhaps the only time in my life that I could remember, I didn't feel my cheeks fill with the tell tale blush of embarrassment. I was silent only a moment. "It's true," I replied quietly, my hands trailing up and down his spine.

Edward lifted his head, his expression filled with such joy that I found myself blinking back tears. "I love you," I said the words again, repeated in my head so many times these past weeks though never spoken out loud.

A soft kiss was my response, Edward's lips tender against my own. "I love you," he replied, the words a whisper, a prayer.

"Oh, Edward," I murmured, truly fighting back tears now. He just smiled, his thumb brushing against my cheek, wiping away the moisture.

"I love you," he repeated, dropping his head again, his kiss so deep, so consuming, that I felt drunk when he pulled away. His hands trailed down my body, tangling in the slick warmth at the juncture of my thighs once more. I sucked in a breath, neck arching at the sensation.

"You're really sure?" he quietly asked. As if I could refuse him when he was touching me so…

"Yes, Edward." I wrapped my hands around his nape, pulling him close for another kiss. I could feel him reaching toward the night stand and tried to stay relaxed, inhaling for a different reason at the sound of the ripping paper.

He shifted between my legs and I exhaled, willing my muscles to loosen. His hands were at my jaw, forcing my gaze to meet his own. I stared at him bravely, lost to the intensity of his emerald eyes. I couldn't help biting my lip as I felt him pushing against me.

Edward closed his eyes first, his hands moving to my hips, struggling to go slow. I bit my lip harder as my body resisted, exhaling when he drew away then pushed forward again, deeper this time. "Bella," his voice was pained, his fingers digging into the flesh over my hip bones.

The next time he drew away, I forced myself to raise my hips when he pressed forward, gasping as he sank fully into me. He stilled at the sound, eyes flying open, filled with worry and want, dark with need. "Are you okay?" His voice was a pained groan.

I nodded before I had time to truly decide if I was, then spoke as I realized it really was the case. "It's just a little…uncomfortable." He frowned and I grabbed at his shoulders, worried he'd pull away. "But I don't want you to stop," my voice was a plea, willing him to see the sincerity in my gaze.

It was clearly difficult for him to maintain control of his body, much less his voice. He only managed to nod before he began to move, hips shifting against my own, lips parting at the sensation. I tried to reciprocate, tried to ignore the rawness that blurred the pleasure I'd felt earlier. I could almost forget it as I watched the play of emotions crossing Edward's face, his breath becoming more frantic as a frown flitted over his brow, his eyes squeezing tightly shut as he fought to measure his movements. I dug my fingers into his shoulders, urging him to give in to the feeling as I had before, eager for him to experience what he'd done for me.

"Bella," he groaned, his thrusts growing more aggressive, pressing me into the mattress, his shoulders slick with sweat under my hands. Suddenly, he shuddered, his jaw clenched with gritted teeth. I stared in wonder, pleased I could do this for him, filled with so much inexpressible feeling. Edward pulled me tight against his chest as he shivered once more, his face buried in my neck.

The only sound for a moment was our harsh breathing, the covers a tangle over our damp bodies, holding each other tight. His voice broke the silence, raw with emotion. "I love you."

I wasn't able to reply for a moment, my own throat swollen with happy disbelief. "I love you, too."


	33. Puzzle Piece

**Disclaimer**: All familiar elements belong to S. Meyers. Enormous thanks to everyone who has reviewed. I am grateful for every reader, especially as this story draws to a close. I can't promise a preview because the chapter thirty-four should be the last! Thank you!

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**Thirty-three**

"No wet tee shirt contests, I imagine?"

"Of course not, Mom," I couldn't help grinning into the phone, amused as always by the reversal of our roles. "No body shots, either."

"Damn."

"Come on, Mom," I laughed. "We were visiting colleges. When are you going to accept your daughter is a nerd?"

"So you didn't get up to any mischief at all?" There was an underlying hint of knowing in Renee's voice. I felt myself flush, certain that if I answered honestly, the conversation would go down a path that would leave me dying from mortification. I had no desire to test the hypothesis that someone could actually suffer death from embarrassment.

"You know Esme was with us the whole time," I finally managed to answer, hoping my voice sounded less strangled when conveyed over the miles of distance separating our phones.

"Of course I know. You think your father would have allowed you within an inch of a hotel room and your boyfriend otherwise?" Renee sounded amused and annoyed all at once; I had no doubt that given the chance, she would have been in on Alice's scheming from day one. "So what did you think of the schools?"

"I actually really liked Bellingham," I admitted, hearing the surprise in my own voice. I'd been wary of ending up in another small town but its population of sixty-thousand made it seem like a metropolis compared to Forks. "I mean, Seattle is amazing but it's a little overwhelming." I did _not_ want to tell her about the run-in with the creepy guy from Edward's past.

"Isn't Phoenix five times the size? You're losing your edge, Bella, if Seattle was intimidating."

"Maybe Forks has grown on me," I teased, knowing her hatred of the town would make such a comment like salt in a wound.

"Oh, I know what's grown on you and it certainly isn't Forks," she replied archly.

My cheeks flamed and my mouth snapped shut, unable to think of any clever denial—after all, what she said was entirely true.

I'd actually been anticipating getting abandoned for breakfast each morning over the course of the road trip. By the third day, I'd been so full of joyful nerves that I'd had to pretend to be asleep as Alice and Rosalie eased out of bed and tip-toed around the hotel room. Of course, I hadn't fooled Edward; he'd laughed at my deliberately even breathing before attacking my ribs with tickling fingers. "You're about as convincing as the mannequin Emmett used to leave in his bed when he snuck out, love."

I'd thrilled at the term of endearment, flushing and giggling all at once—then sighing as his hands moved to embrace me, the tickling transforming into something entirely different.

Now that we were home, I couldn't help wondering how we'd find those moments with parents or siblings constantly around.

I was dwelling on this very thought the first day back at school. The halls seemed louder than usual, everyone full of energy after a week off, animated and excited as the end of another semester approached. Between the distraction of slamming lockers and shouting voices, as well as the tempting but frustrating problem of figuring out how to be alone with Edward, it was no wonder I was soon reeling through the air.

My hands instinctively shot forward to brace myself, the books that had been in my arms tumbling around me, loose papers drifting in their wake. For a split second I thought how similar this felt to that first day of school when my messenger bag tore open in English—before the pain of crashing to the floor drove every thought from my head.

The silence was what struck me first. My clumsiness was infamous and falling down shouldn't have caused the abrupt, shocked silence that met my ears. As I pushed myself up onto my hands and knees, my usual assessment of whether anything was sprained was pushed aside as I saw several horrified faces looking down at me. I frowned, unable to understand the reaction—I tripped all of the time.

It was the pointed gaze of a freshman that spurred me to look over my shoulder, her wide eyes trained on something directly behind me. Still slightly breathless from the fall, my knees smarting from having smacked the dusty linoleum beneath me, my frown deepened as I saw Lauren Mallory several feet away. Her mouth was caught between a sneer and a smirk, the two girls standing on either side of her failing to hide their giggles.

Because it was mystifying to me to behave so maliciously, it took me another second to register that I _hadn't_ tripped over nothing at all—as was my habit. My frown faded as surprise took the place of confusion. Staring over my shoulder at Lauren's triumphant expression, I knew she must have thrust out her foot when she saw how distracted I was, tripping me on purpose.

Before I could form a response, before I could rise to my feet, before I could think of the words or actions or tantrum I should throw in reaction to her ridiculous, evil, totally bitchy behavior, a blur raced across the hall, slamming into Lauren with such force that she flew into the wall behind her.

"You fucking bitch!" Alice Cullen, despite her small size, was attacking Lauren as if possessed. Her hands were wheeling nonstop, making contact wherever Lauren wasn't instinctively blocking, a punching, smacking, slapping dervish. Though she was nearly a foot shorter, because the taller girl was cringing, stunned into simply huddling next to the wall Alice had knocked her into, they almost seemed the same size.

"Ow, stop! Are you crazy?!" Lauren managed to regain her senses and was trying to straighten up. The students gathered in the hall recovered from their initial surprise as well and started to gather around, a cajoling murmur rolling through their ranks.

"…had this coming…all year…gossiping harpy…worthless twat…" Alice's words were nearly lost against Lauren's defensive shrieks. I'd managed to rise up onto my knees as the crowd began to close around the pair, spurred into action by the thought that if I couldn't see them, I couldn't stop it. As reluctant as I was to defend Lauren, I certainly didn't want Alice to get in trouble.

I stumbled to my feet just as Alice pulled back a tiny foot and kicked Lauren's shin. It might have been laughable, like a spoiled child having a hissy fit, but for Lauren's screech of pain as she bent to grab her leg. I pushed throw the crowd just as Alice raised her foot to kick again. Angry curses were still spilling from her mouth. "Goddamn gossip!"

"Alice!" It was as if she couldn't hear me, her petite body filled with insane strength. I tried to grab her arms and found myself grappling with air, unable to get a hold of the suddenly hulk-like pixie.

"Don't you gang up on her!" One of Lauren's minions was spurred into coming to her defense by my involvement and shifted into a defensive stance. I grimaced, trying to shake my head in her direction; however tempting the thought of smacking Lauren around, that was the last thing I was trying to do. I didn't get a chance to speak, to try and clarify over Alice's swearing and Lauren's protesting, because Alice was raising her ballet flat-clad foot again. I grabbed for her then nearly fell as, with her leg raised high, our combined weight was thrown off balance.

"Alice," I was breathless, trying to get my arms around her waist, feet tangling with hers just as she regained her balance and attempted to fling one last punch in Lauren's direction. The momentum took us tumbling into the cowering blond, knocking all three of us to the floor.

"Young ladies!" Miss Goff's voice broke through the excited rumblings of the crowd as well as Alice's fury. I saw her narrow face suddenly relax at the sound of the teacher's voice, her blue eyes widening as if brought out of a trance. "Fighting on school property?!"

I was abruptly flooded with panic, the fearlessness that had seized my body only moments before dissipating as I realized I was in serious trouble. Miss Goff thought I'd been a part of the fight rather than trying to break it up. Charlie was going to kill me.

"Principal's office. Right now." Her voice brooked no argument and I scrambled to my feet, doing my best to ignore a flushed Lauren at my side. I could hear the high-pitched voice of one of the minions behind me, her words a rush as she claimed Alice and I had been beating up Lauren for no reason at all.

"Goddamn liar," Alice huffed under her breath. Her hands were fists at her sides as she stomped ahead of me towards the administrative offices. I couldn't believe I was having to hurry to catch up to her, glancing over my shoulder to see Lauren and Miss Goff in our wake.

Luckily, Principal Weltz had no interest in taking sides. He dismissed the still-glowering Miss Goff, raising a brow when she attempted to linger in the doorway. "I can handle it from here," he spoke firmly from behind his desk, folding his hands on the surface in front of him. I tried to take comfort in his benign expression as I slouched in a chair next to Alice.

When she was gone, he turned to us. "I'm surprised to see any of you here under these circumstances. Seniors, so close to graduating, and never before in a lick of trouble." He peered at us with more curiosity than disappointment and I slouched further, wishing I could disappear into the cushions. If this was even a taste of how Charlie would react, I knew I was in for it.

"Lauren, would you like to explain what happened first?"

I tried not to scoff as Lauren set the scene, describing how she'd been innocently hanging out in the hall with her two best friends, discussing a study group for that coming weekend, minding her own business... "…then, completely out of blue, for no reason at all, these two jump me like it's some gang initiation or something!" She described Alice as if she were a demon possessed and might have even mentioned exorcisms... "—superhuman strength and could not even defend myself! And of course, when Bella saw that, she jumped in—"

"I thought you said they both 'jumped you.' You implied it was at the same time."

Lauren paused, clearly caught off guard at how easily he'd noted the hole in her story. "Uh…"

"Very well. Ms. Cullen?" He turned his gaze to Alice, his expression bland. "Can you explain your version of events?"

"Lauren tripped Bella. I wasn't going to let her get away with it. Bella jumped in to try to stop me." Compared to Lauren's long, winding tale, Alice's blunt brevity was almost comical. I stifled a smile, knowing it could only get me into more trouble.

Principal Weltz's gaze shifted back to Lauren. "Why did you trip Ms. Swan?"

"She hit me with a hockey stick in gym!" Lauren would never have done well on the witness stand, not thinking to deny Alice's claim, her words flying from her mouth as she protested and, at the same time, admitted her actions.

"That was an accident," I finally spoke, my voice low, resisting the urge to turn my head and glare in Lauren's direction. I'd almost forgotten about that day, during that awful week when I thought Edward didn't care about me. I wondered momentarily if the rumor mill had gotten the news to him yet that Alice and I were in the principal's office.

"I see," Principal Weltz's voice brought my attention back to the stuffy room. I had a brief suspicion that a smile crossed his mouth before he spoke again, his hard voice making the impression seem ridiculous.

"Being so close to graduation, a suspension would unnecessarily disrupt the work you have to complete to receive your diploma." He paused, peering at us critically. "But don't think that excuses your actions." Picking up a pen, he dropped his gaze as he began filling out a form. "Detention. After school. One week. And if there's so much as a hint of mischief from any of you, I won't hesitate to suspend you regardless of the consequences."

He lifted his gaze, his eyes narrow. "You may go."

I heaved myself from the chair with relief, resisting the urge to hug Alice as we scurried from the room. Now I just had to deal with Charlie.

"Sorry, Bella." Alice stopped me outside the main door to the administrative offices, her fingers on my wrist. "I didn't mean to get you in trouble."

"No, Alice," I protested, too relieved not to smile at her troubled features. "Detention isn't so bad. And you were defending me. It's not as if I can be mad about that."

She grinned, clearly relieved. "Well, I guess I'll see you after school then." Her nose wrinkled. "It was worth it, though."

Alice repeated those words as we huddled over a table in the library after school. The sun had been attempting to break through the clouds all day and now rays of light were glinting through the high windows above the bookshelves, catching motes of dust floating in the air. Lauren sat as far away as possible on the opposite side of the room, her narrow shoulders curved over a book she was pretending to read. I could just see the shining pages of the gossip magazine sitting on her lap beneath the table.

"Are you sure it was worth it?" I peered at Alice as I quietly whispered the words. I didn't want to condone what she'd done but I was having a hard time feeling badly for Lauren. After all, she'd been the source of most of the drama I'd dealt with over the past year.

"Oh my God, yes," Alice didn't even hesitate, her blue eyes wide. "I think her tanning lotion came off on my hands, but even then…so worth it." I stifled a giggle and Alice's eyes crinkled with her own repressed laughter. "Besides, as crazy as I felt after seeing you fall," I frowned at the memory, still not quite able to believe anyone could be so awful. "Even then, in the back of my head I knew they wouldn't expel me—not so close to graduation."

I nodded, contemplative. Edward had managed to find me just as the last class got out, his expression worried despite my attempts to reassure him. "Do you think Charlie will ground you?" he'd asked.

I'd laughed and teased him, "You're just worried we're _really_ never going to be alone again."

Edward had flushed and I'd only laughed harder, delighted to have caught him on the direction of his thoughts.

Alice brought me back to the present, her tone officious. "Besides, now we're even."

I frowned. "What do you mean?"

"You know, like when someone saves your life and you're in their debt until you save them back." Her voice was matter-of-fact, as if this was the most obvious thing in the world. At the confusion that continued to cloud my expression she added, "Like Morgan Freeman in _Robin Hood_."

That didn't clarify things at all. "Alice, I've never saved you from anything."

Her blue eyes shifted away, her fingers lacing and unlacing as she started to fidget. "I know," the words came out reluctantly, her whispered voice verging on a whine. "But Edward saved mine so it's kind of the same thing."

I suddenly knew one of the last puzzle pieces was going to finally fall into place. My brow smoothed as I stared at her. "What do you mean, Alice?"

Her wide eyes locked onto mine, filled with emotion. "I know he hasn't told you—at least not all of the details. I think he still feels guilty," she frowned, her gaze dropping to her hands. "Mostly because of the court case—Carlisle and Esme having to pay that money…" Alice's eyes lifted to mine again, almost pleading. "He should know by now that you won't care."

I understood instantly. "You know I won't," I reassured her, unable to resist placing a hand on her own. Her fidgeting ceased at the movement, a wan smile spreading across her lips.

She dropped her gaze, the smile fading as she began to explain. "I should have known." My brows lowered as I listened, wanting to ask who she meant but knowing I needed to simply let her speak. "I mean, we were only fourteen," Alice chewed her lip, a frown flitting across her brow.

Then, her expression suddenly smoothing, she lifted her gaze, blue eyes piercing as she stared at me. "No. It wasn't my fault. _You_ understood." I flushed, still not sure what she meant but knowing she was calling me out, flattering me. Alice smiled gently at the blush, affectionate.

She went on, her voice growing sad. "I thought she was my best friend. I told her everything." Alice paused again, a pang of hurt passing across her face. My hand instinctively tightened, wanting to comfort her. "I told her about my mother, about the things that had happened to me—what I can remember—there's so much that's just a blank space."

Her shoulders lifted and dropped with the force of her sigh. "Everything I told you when you stayed the night—Victoria knew all of it and more." Alice laced her fingers through mine, the sadness in her voice causing my own throat to close. "She'd always had a crush on James, as long as I knew her. It was like this obsession for her…I guess no different than how I feel about Jasper." Even now, she was making allowances for this person. I tried not to frown.

"When they got together, she changed. Some of it I could have expected; she spent less time with me, didn't want to talk on the phone as much." Alice paused, her eyes growing distant with the memory. "But then…it was as if everything I told her was ammunition. She told me things I said or did were weird…why couldn't I be normal…she asked if were my parents sure I didn't need medication…" Alice's voice drifted into silence and I struggled not to speak up, not to swear or protest, repressing the shudder of anger that was tensing my muscles.

"Then James started in…making comments…alluding to things. It was obvious Victoria must have told him everything." Alice frowned, her lips tight. "I tried to ignore him. Victoria had stopped calling, stopped inviting me over but even if she had, I couldn't have spoken to her, not after she betrayed my confidence." She sighed again. "Then the rumors started."

I felt myself still, suddenly realizing how hard it must have been for all of the Cullens to disregard Lauren for so long.

"Emmett and Edward tried to shield me from it but it was no use. There was graffiti in the bathroom, people shouting things in the hallway—that I was a meth head, a crack baby, a speed freak…" A wry grin crossed her face but there was no amusement in her expression. "I knew it was James. Victoria might have been a shitty friend but she wasn't malicious."

Alice stopped speaking, her eyes fixed on our joined hands. I knew she must be coming to the difficult part and bit my lip, resisting the urge to speak. "It was right before lunch. The hall was crowded. I was trying to ignore everyone even though I could hear people laughing and whispering. I was trying not to let it bother me," her voice faltered and I realized my eyes were damp with unshed tears.

"Then I heard him. 'What's the matter, Alice?' I turned around and he was right behind me with this grin on his face, like he knew exactly how hard it was for me…and it amused him, it entertained him." Alice's brow furrowed as she recalled the memory. "I told him to fuck off. He just laughed. He said, 'They should have left you in the psych ward.'" She stopped again and I realized she was holding her breath. When she spoke again, the words were a faint whisper, her eyes glassy. "I lost it. I was so angry. I shoved him. And Bella," she looked up, blue eyes suddenly clear. "He shoved me back."

I couldn't help the gasp that slipped past my lips. Alice was tiny, not even five feet tall, and probably wasn't more than a hundred pounds soaking wet. Even with the knowledge of her strength, I couldn't imagine a guy of James size shoving her.

"Edward was there." Alice's voice remained faint and filled with sorrow, her brow furrowed as she told the story. "He saw everything. I tried to stop him but I couldn't. He was beyond fury. James didn't stand a chance."

"You can go now." The librarian who stood watch over detention had approached the table without either one of us noticing. I blinked rapidly, not wanting any of the tears that had blurred my vision to fall. Alice squeezed my hand before leaping up from the table.

"Come on, Bella." She glanced towards the table where Lauren was gathering her things. "Let's get the hell out of here."

Outside, a brisk wind ruffled my hair, the sun still fighting to gleam through the clouds. I glanced up at the sky, trying to process everything I'd heard, then inhaled as I saw Edward standing in front of the Volvo at the curb.

I couldn't help smiling as I approached him, hitching my bag up my shoulder. "You think I'd let you walk home?" He'd clearly seen my surprise, green eyes shining as he smiled down at me.

I took a deep breath, gazing up at him, struggling to think what to say, how to tell him that I knew, that I understood, and that I certainly didn't judge him for what had happened. Finally, I stretched up on my toes and kissed him, reaching up to tangle my fingers in his ever-messy hair.

I could sense his surprise at the kiss, pausing before he returned it. Against his lips, I whispered, "I'm glad you gave him a concussion."

Edward pulled away, eyes wide with surprise as he stared down at me. Slowly, realizing my feelings were unchanged, a grin spread across his lips.

"You always surprise me, Bella Swan."


	34. An End and a Beginning

**Disclaimer**: All familiar elements belong to Stephenie Meyers. ***Thank you so much*** to everyone who has reviewed, added to alerts, recommended, favorited, or messaged me about Nicknames and Rumors. I cannot tell you how wonderful and unexpected the feedback has been.

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**Thirty-four**

Sparks caught on a high breeze, lifting towards the sky, the flames of the bonfire dancing before my gaze. Though we were several feet above the tide line, the scent and sound of the ocean surrounded us, the blue of the waves glittering beneath still bright August rays. We hadn't been able to wait for the sun to set, not at the height of summer when it didn't fully disappear until well past nine. Only now were fingers of purple filtering across the sky, teasing at the very edges of the horizon as dusk slowly crept across the landscape.

I reclined against Edward's chest, my hair spilling over my shoulders. I'd had the ends trimmed while I was visiting Renee in Phoenix and it was the closest I'd seen him get to being angry with me. "How would you feel if I cut my hair?" he'd asked when I tried to protest that it wasn't a big deal. The look of horror that had crossed my face in response proved him right.

The feel of his arms around my waist, secure and warm, drew an unconscious smile to my lips. While the visit to Arizona had been for only three weeks, I'd felt restless and on edge the entire time I was gone, missing him terribly.

"Like the cat that got the canary," Edward's voice whispered in my ear, observantly noting my smile.

"I can't help it," I whispered back, dragging my eyes from the fire Jasper and Emmett had built—with Alice firing orders about where to place the kindling and how to pile the wood. His lips caught mine as I turned my head, incredibly soft and sweet.

"You'd think she'd been gone a year instead of three weeks," Emmett called, his voice playfully sardonic. His legs were stretched out in front of him, hands splayed behind, his tee shirt stretching across his broad chest. Rosalie lay on her side on a tartan blanket spread beneath them both, her head in his lap. While Emmett's hands were carelessly bordering the sand, Rosalie had her legs bent, ever conscious of dirtying her linen capris and drapey top.

"If you weren't just as useless in my absence, I'd be insulted," she softly replied, the typical sharpness missing from her tone. Both she and Jasper seemed unusually reflective, her twin glassy-eyed as he stared into the fire.

"I might not listen to emo moaning like Edward, but I'm sure I'd be pretty lost," Emmett agreed, dropping his eyes to her face and gently stroking a blond strand from her cheek.

The distance might have been worth it for the reunion alone. While Edward hadn't insisted on picking me up, he'd wasted no time in appearing on my front porch after Charlie and I got back from the airport. Heedless of my dad's presence, he'd swept me into his arms, burying his face in my throat. I'd turned beet red but been unable to resist returning the embrace, wrapping my arms around his neck. Edward had only put me down, gently placing me back on the floor of the entryway, when Charlie gruffly coughed.

The following day, a knock had sounded on the door before I'd even gotten out of bed. "Goddamnit!" I swore as I tumbled from the tangle of sheets to the floor of my bedroom. I wondered who in the hell would be at the front door at seven in the morning.

I should have been able to guess.

"Edward?" I wasn't fully coherent, staring at him in confusion, trying to protest as he took my hand and led me back up the stairs, kicking the front door shut behind us. "Did you wait for my dad to go to work?" I'd asked as my brain cells slowly began to fire, standing before him suspiciously as he drew to a halt in my bedroom. Edward reached for the hem of my tee shirt and I didn't think to resist as he pulled it over my head.

"Maybe," he responded, tossing the shirt aside and wrapping his arms around my waist with a sigh. "I missed you," he breathed, his lips warm against my throat.

"I missed you," I admitted. Renee had easily sensed my distraction, frequently huffing in exasperation when my mind drifted in the middle of conversation, eyes distant as I thought of Edward.

"Did you?" he asked, the smile in his voice belying the insecurity that needed me to say it again.

I placed my hands on his cheeks, lifting his head from my throat so I could stare into the eyes I'd missed so much. "More than you know," I said firmly.

The crooked smile that crossed his lips didn't reach his eyes. "Oh, I know," he murmured. He dropped his head, capturing my lips so forcefully that the thought of speaking again was the last thing on my mind.

I squirmed at the memory, my hands fisting in the pockets of the hoodie I was wearing to ward off the chill of being only yards from the ocean. As if sensing the direction of my thoughts, I felt Edward's lips ghost against my hair, his hands tightening around my waist and slipping under the hem of the hoodie. I stilled, eyes wide and darting to Alice and Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett, certain they'd notice the movement.

There'd been no need to be surreptitious the morning after I'd returned from Phoenix, his hands eager as he palmed my breasts, his mouth moving from my lips to my ear. I hadn't meant to whimper as his teeth nibbled the lobe, lifting my own hands to tug at the hem of his shirt. "Edward…"

He yanked at it with me, only tearing his lips away as the fabric obscured his face, blindly reaching for me before it was fully off. I laughed softly, then gasped as he picked me up and abruptly sat down on the narrow bed. I could only fold my legs around him, inhaling sharply as I felt his arousal through the rough fabric of his jeans and my worn sweats.

Thrusting my fingers into his hair, I pulled his mouth to mine, my drowsy confusion entirely cleared. Edward kissed me back just as hungrily, his hands slipping under the waistband of my sweats and pulling me forcefully close. It felt as if we were both burning, the heat of him almost too much to bear.

Edward leaned back without breaking the kiss, his hands firm against the bare skin of my back. I folded my legs on either side of his narrow hips, licking at his bottom lip, at his jaw, at the smooth line of his throat. "Bella," he groaned, his hips rocking into mine. I smiled against the sweet spot where his shoulder met his neck, then gasped as his erection pressed against me again.

Quickly, he flipped me onto my back and shucked off my sweats in one swift movement. I couldn't help my sharp inhale of surprise, then grinned at his eagerness. "I _did_ miss you," I repeated, reaching for him.

Edward sank into me with a sigh of relief, his lips at my throat. "I believe you," the words were a murmur against my skin, his hands drifting down my ribs to my hips and lower.

The flames snapped and a piece of driftwood shifted, arcing down towards the pit of the fire. I jerked from my thoughts, hoping the warmth of the bonfire might explain the heat in my cheeks. Edward's hands didn't move from my waist beneath the cover of my hoodie, his thumbs just barely brushing the bottom swell of my breasts. I squirmed uncomfortably, my eyes darting between the other two couples reclining in the sand.

Only when Jasper moved onto his knees, a sheaf of papers in his grasp, did Edward's hands fall away, his sigh of regret blowing against my ear. "Stupid stationary," Jasper muttered, his hands dangerously close to the flames as he stuffed the loose leafs among the smoldering logs.

Alice, sprawled on her stomach, placed a comforting hand on his exposed ankle, her blue eyes filled with understanding. "I'll come back with you at breaks," she said softly.

"It won't be the same," he replied, his voice equally quiet. I frowned as I realized what had been bothering the Hales since the graduation ceremony took place back in June. The Cullen family would no longer be able to run interference for them, their house a constant refuge from the retired attorney and his trophy wife. Carlisle had already secured a position at the university and a realtor had been down from Port Angeles the previous weekend to take photos of the house.

"We could always go back east and see Mom instead," Rosalie offered, her voice reasonable.

"But, babe!" Emmett suddenly whined. "I'll be stuck in Seattle without you!"

Edward shook beneath me, laughing as he spoke up before Rosalie could respond. "No more giving me shit when Bella's out of town, Emmett."

"No kidding," Rosalie was softly laughing as well, lifting her head from Emmett's lap. "That sounded totally…what do you call Edward?"

"Pussy whipped," Alice and Jasper answered at the same time.

I couldn't help the burst of laughter that spilled from my lips, leaning forward with the force of it, then shrieked as I felt Edward's hands curl over my ribs, tickling me mercilessly.

He'd been equally merciless that unforgettable morning, touching me, teasing me, until I was breathless, gasping, eyes wide and unseeing all at once. I was clutching his shoulders, clinging to him, begging though I don't know what for. "Please, Edward…oh, God…please!" I'd felt his lips smile against my neck.

Instinctively, my hands tightened around his shoulders as he shifted to move away. "Just a second," he reassured me, eyes glittering as he reached for his discarded jeans. I bit my lip, flushing as I realized I'd forgotten the necessary condom. I couldn't believe how he made me feel, the crash of emotions and sensations…it was insane to think of how it had all started, a lifetime ago.

"Bella," his soft voice, eyes tender and as he stared down at me, filled me with warmth. "I love you," the words were a murmur, fervent, as he positioned himself between my legs.

"I love you," I whispered in return, arching my neck in a silent plea for his kiss. Edward didn't leave me wanting, lowering his head to mine at the same moment as he slid into my body. I couldn't help my small moan of pleasure and need, wrapping my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist.

"God, Bella…I can't…" I rocked against him, lifting my hips from the mattress, insistent, heedless of his need to go slow. I could feel his muscles shaking beneath my hands, his mouth open against my neck as he drove into me.

I was spiraling higher, all of my muscles tightening, legs clenching around his waist, hands fisting in his hair. Distantly, I could hear him gasping with his own release but I couldn't stop moving, rocking against him until a cry clawed from my throat.

As my breathing returned to normal, my fingers loosening their grip in Edward's now-sweaty hair, his soft laughter blew against my throat. "I don't think I could have stopped if Charlie had walked in today."

I could feel my throat and cheeks burning with the flush I knew he loved so much.

The moon was only a sliver against the sky as the last of the blue finally faded over the horizon, a riot of stars sparkling above. "It's so beautiful," Alice's voice was faint but still audible over the crackle of the fire.

"Won't be able to see the stars as well in Seattle," Edward teased his brother and Rosalie, still trying to get his digs in after my fit of laughter.

"Nothing will make me miss this place," Rosalie replied, tough as ever.

"Not even Mike Newton? Or Lauren Mallory?" Alice called. She was now wrapped in the embrace of Jasper's arms, her small face peeking above the sleeves of his wool coat.

"I'm just glad you took care of her for me," Rosalie answered, a wry smile tilting her lips. "Though if I'd been there…"

"You guys," I couldn't help the exasperated plea of my voice. Even with the added understanding of the Cullen's history, it was still somewhat perplexing how fiercely they defended me.

"Can you imagine a Rosalie/Alice tag team?" Jasper mused.

"Oh, all too easily," Emmett nodded. "Leotards…wind machines….throwing bitches to the mat…" I laughed at the image and felt Edward chuckle as well, easily forgetting my dismay.

"I'm going to miss seeing you so much, Emmett," I admitted, not intending to sink the group into reflective sadness again.

"Oh, I have a feeling I'll be crashing in Jasper and Edward's dorm room more often than you'd think."

When Jasper and Edward both groaned in response, we all broke up laughing again.

All too soon, my life was packed away into a handful of boxes and suitcases, not even enough to fill the bed of the truck. Charlie was insistent that I use a tarp from the shed to make sure the contents remained dry. "You never know with this weather," he said gruffly, unable to meet my eyes as he threaded a cord through the tarp's grommets. I didn't protest, knowing this was the last thing he'd be able to do for me as a protective father for some time.

"Thanks, Dad." My own voice was quiet, trying to hold it together.

When he was finished, he stood before me awkwardly, his hands shoved in his pockets. "You can always come home with as many loads of laundry as you'd like," he finally said.

I just nodded, choking back tears. When I'd decided to come back to Washington for my senior year, I'd never imagined wanting to stay. Now I couldn't imagine leaving. I threw my arms around my dad's waist before I could give myself the chance to think about it, then pulled away just as quickly, slamming into the cab of the truck.

I waved through the window but Charlie's figure was a blur through the tears I refused to shed, twisting the key in the ignition and wrenching away from the curb.

I'd managed to regain some calm by the time I turned onto the Cullen's drive. I recited a mental litany of self-reassurances, promising myself that I would call when we arrived in Bellingham, that he would be okay given all of the dishes I'd prepped and wrapped in the fridge, and that I would be home for Thanksgiving—which was only two and a half months away.

Despite this, Edward sensed my turmoil as he helped me from the cab, his hands lingering at my waist as his concerned eyes searched my face. "Are you okay?"

"I will be," I forced a smile, then turned gratefully as Alice bounded down the front steps.

"Bella! You're all packed?" She looked ready to explode with excitement, her hands fists under her pointed chin.

"Of course."

"And you fit everything?" She sounded doubtful.

"Yes, Alice," I smiled, glancing at the Volvo. Because she'd had to share the space with Jasper and Edward, Alice wouldn't be able to take nearly everything she wanted up to Bellingham. The interior of the silver car was piled nearly to the roof, glimpses of pink poking from most of the bags and suitcases.

"Do you think I could throw a box or two under your tarp--"

"Mary Alice Brandon Cullen," Esme's voice was uncharacteristically sharp, appearing on the porch with a frown furrowing her brow. "I told you the dorm closets won't hold what you did pack."

"Mom!" Alice turned, her voice caught between a whine and a plea. "You know Bella probably won't use--"

"We already had a discussion about assumptions and boundaries, Alice." Esme trotted down the steps, a hand on her hip. "Hello, Bella," she said, her voice softening as she planted a kiss on my cheek.

"Hi, Esme," I smiled shyly, glad that at least I wasn't blushing.

"So Edward will drive with you?" she asked, turning from Alice's mutinous expression as if her petite, willful daughter didn't exist.

"Yeah--"

"Even though I'd rather she not take that death trap at all," Edward cut me off, inclining his tousled head towards the rusted truck.

I smacked his arm and would have snapped in reply if Rosalie's red BMW wasn't pulling into the drive behind the truck. Jasper leapt from the passenger side the moment she'd shifted into park, crossing to Alice's side and pulling her into his arms in one swift movement. "Ready, sweetheart?"

His affection was calming and distracting at the same time, probably exactly as Jasper intended. Alice giggled gleefully, her irritation forgotten. "Yes!"

Esme smiled at her daughter then turned to Rosalie with a similar warm greeting. "I see your car is equally weighed down," her brown eyes were dancing.

Rosalie grinned. "Thank God the U provides all the football equipment, otherwise we might have had to take a U-Haul."

"Yes, we'll be calling them soon enough," Esme replied.

"Oh, did you get an offer?" I asked.

"Sooner than we thought," Carlisle had appeared on the porch, Emmett behind him, a duffle thrown over his shoulder.

"It's awesome. The folks'll be in Seattle by October," Emmett grinned, slinging his duffle into the back seat of the BMW.

"It'll be a much easier drive than all the way back to Forks," Carlisle added.

I nodded, thinking of Charlie and trying not to be sad again. I glanced down at the small silver watch he'd given me for graduation. As if sensing my thoughts, Alice spoke, bouncing on her toes as she clung to Jasper's hand.

"It's time."

With a flurry of kisses and hugs, we all piled into the various vehicles. My vision was blurred again as I tried to wave at Carlisle and Esme through the window, the links of the watch shining in a rare burst of sunshine. I couldn't argue when Edward insisted on driving.

As the engine rumbled to life, I felt Edward's fingers thread through mine, a soft kiss landing against my hair before he swung down the drive.


End file.
